THE LEGEND OF E

THE LEGEND OF E



      [The scene opens to a war. A plane flies overhead, and bomb sound is heard. E jumps and turns around, then looks up, and around again. Sweat dribbles off of his brow, and stains his clothes. He hears a whistle, looks over and sees his friend Roy waving at him.  He runs over.]

Roy: You've done good today - go back to base, and have a rest. [Slaps him on the back.]

E: [Nods, sighs, and then leaves in a Jeep.]


      [At base.]

[E talks to best pal Terry as they rest on a sun-lounge with a tall iced tea in their hands.]

[A photographer comes and snaps a picture.]

E:  [Frowns.] Hey! There ain't no photographs allowed on this base!

Photographer [Smiles.] I'm a war photographer, have to capture all kinds of images. 

E:  Well, go and capture something else! Me and my buddy here are having a private conversation.

Photographer [Smiles, chuckles, does a sarcastic salute, and walks off.]

E:  If he wants a war photograph he should be at the site where people are getting their faces blown off!

Terry: [Smiles.] But that's a training base, all action there is strictly practise.

E:  Well they have accidents there too.

Terry:  [Whistles.] What kind of lux's have accidents at a training base?

E: The kind who don't remember their training.

Terry: [Laughs.]  Wow?what has this world come to?  We don't need enemy's to extinguish our soldiers, just training camps!

E:  [Grimaces.] It's not like that, the men just forget their equipment - they have backwards missiles, being shot as forward ones; they have bush-walkers getting in the way of the firing ranges; they have missiles self-ejecting cause of some faulty equipment.

Terry: Holly pineapples! The whole platoon will be extinguished within a years time! [Chuckles.] Who's running that lot down there?

E:  Some candy assed soldier.

Terry: A soldier should never be candy assed. 

E:  Well this one is... too bad it's not on a filly - just the look of it makes you wanna?

Terry: Oh no?too much oil, and ammunition, has gotten into your brain - I think you need a holiday.

E:  [Smiles.] No?.[Sighs as the sunlight filters through the glass of iced tea.] I think I need to go home.

Terry: You've got another year to go, you can't go home.

E:  [Frowns.] I've got to go home - I'm serious; this place is dragging me down.

Terry: [Laughs.] That's what you said about your home first night you hopped on the ship.

E:  That's cause I was used to it, now I want to go back. I've realised there are worse things then being in the pits of despair - it's being in a pit after a flaming torpedo has landed on you.

Terry: [Laughs.] But you have no means of getting injuries, you're hardly ever in the firing squad; how are you going to get an aquittal from injury?

E:  [Murmurs.] I don't know?.but I'll think of something. [Takes a sip of tea.]


      [A week later, E is trying to hop into a tank on a rainy day - but he slips on the hood, and falls onto the ground knocking his head against a crate for good measure. He rolls on the ground - his fingers grope around in the wet soil as he rolls onto his stomach, and moves to crawl a little away from the crate before he gets enough direction to stand. The sound of live fire explodes from the snout of the tank - he drops his body, and cups his ears as he rolls around on the wet earth. Some military men jog up to him, and ask him if he's all right - E doesn't answer. He gets lifted up, and taken to the medical tent quick haste.]

[When in rest inside the medical bed, E gets told he the results of his condition.]

Nurse: Congratulations - you have light concussion.

[E notices the nurses voice seems far away, and flinches at the fact that he might have some permanent damage in his hearing ability. The nurse gives him a form to fill out.]

E:  What's this for?

Nurse: You have sustained an injury - it must be reported, and taken to the board. 

E:  Do you think I'll be fired from the army?

Nurse: [Ignoring his question.] You write your activities before you sustained injury, and then go on to explain your condition, and any side effects. Your report is then reviewed, and classed from mild to serious. [Smiles.] But don't worry, you've mainly got a head bump - I'm sure you'll be back in action in a few days time. [Smiles again, and then leaves.]

E:  Yeah?not if I can help it. [Fills out the form.]


      [The next day E is called in to see the review panel - they look him up and down, and compare his comments with the medical reports. After discussion they decide that E should be dismissed from further military action.]

E:  [Thanks them, and leaves.]

[Terry, Rex, and Roy are pacing outside the building. They see E come out, and approach him.]

Terry: So?

E:  [Smiles, and holds up a stamped piece of paper.] Read it and weep boys, I'm going home!


      [E travels home. [Train a-riding?gonna get me my way home?. Train a-riding? gonna eat pie when I'm home? I'm gonna grab my filly, and kiss her all over when I get back home?]]


      [At the port.]

[E has shouldered his bag, and is walking off the ship, when he gets greeted by press people. A few photographs are taken, and they ask him what it feels like to be back.]

E:  Well you know, it feels pretty good.

Press: I hear you're gonna be on the Teddy Louvers show E! How do you feel about that?

E:  Teddy Louvers? Uhh?.. well as far as I know I'm just going on home now.

TLAgent Not if I can help it. 

E:  Who are you?

TLAgent I'm the set chauffeur come to take you to the studio, and get you on air. Then I'm giving you a free ticket to sweep you home before midnight. How does that sound?

E:  Well, if it saves me money?

Press: You didn't get paid in the military E?

E:  No, no?just did my service, all expenses paid for. 

Press: Your fans can't wait to hear your voice in action again - is it as good as it was when you left?

E:  Even better.

TLAgent [To the press.] There'll be more about this young war hero on the Teddy Louvers Show tonight, seven pm.

[TLAgent takes E and leaves.]


[At the studio.]

E:  [E paces backstage, trying to remember lyrics to one of his past hits.  His voice is out of condition, but it sounds all right to him as he hums a few half hearted tunes.]

Teddy: [Walks into the room with a smile on his face.] Hey there, how's the big star of tonight?

E:  Nervous - I'm not sure if I've got the lyrics right at all.

Teddy: Oh you don't need them - we're just going to ask you a few questions while you're live on air, and then you're going to sing a few bars of, "It's Good To Be Home", by Everett Allens.

E:  You want me to sing a song that isn't my own?  

Teddy: It's just for the ending - a few bars while the credits roll... [Gives him a sheet of paper.] These are the lyrics - are you familiar with the song?

E:  [Murmurs.] Distantly?

Teddy: It's just the basic tune?.[Sings.] "I've been around the place, from England to New York?.and I've found that the sweetest place, is in the garden of my neighbour Joe Malwark? It's good to be home, there's nothing more I've wanted, no place else to be?it's good to be home - here with you, and you here with me?.[Slices his fingers across his chest.] Cut and close - lights dim, audience applause; and that's the cut for the night.

E:  I don't know, I think the fans would want something more mine.

Teddy: No, no! This is just a welcome back, to flag your homecoming. Your new tunes are what they want to hear, as long as you have your voice - this performance is just to preview your tones, to signal that you are still one and the same E.

E:  Well, I suppose?.

Teddy: Great! You've got an hour - so rest your heels, have a sandwich on the house, have some tea; but not too much now?[Smiles, and leaves.]

E:  Yeah?.[Looks at the paper, hums the tune a little - then stops, and waits].


     [On stage E gets a trumpeted introduction. He walks on with a boyish smile, and stands in the centre next to Teddy.]

Teddy: Hey there young fella? Hey have I seen you somewhere before?

E:  Yeah, backstage just before the show.

Audience [Laughs.]

Teddy: No, no?it's been seen somewhere?. I just can't put my finger on it?.

E:  [Stands there looking baffled.]

Wing Crew  [Comes on with a bunch of magazine clippings stacked together.] You left these in the taxi.

Teddy: Why! It's my collection of "The Song Circle"! [Gets handed the stack, and then talks to E as the Wing Crew walks off]. Are you familiar with these?

E:  No, I can't say I am.

Teddy: [To Audience.] Are you?

Audience [Applause.]

Teddy: It's the teenagers' favourite magazine to catch up on their hunky singers; and you know what?

E:  What?

Teddy: You have been selected as its face for the past three years!  [Shows the camera the first cover and then drops it; he then shows the next, and the next - until all the magazine's are on the floor.]

E:  [Smiles.] Wow.

Teddy: It's E everybody!

Audience [Applause.]

Teddy: Hey, are you sure you've been in the army?

E:  Yes, of course sir.

Teddy: Then where do they get these pictures?

E:  I don't know? I had a few taken before I left - I wasn't aware they were being used?

Teddy: Wow! [Throws the stack onto the ground.] So tell us what was army life like?

E:  Hard - it was nothing but work, work, work.

Teddy: No singing?

E:  Only the marching song.

Teddy: The marching song?  How does that go?

E:  [Marches on the spot.] Hup, hup, hup, 2,3,4!

Teddy: [Laughs.] That's not much of a song there.

E:  Well that's the only time we really got to use our voices.

Teddy: So, did you get any special privileges? Did you get to sleep in at all while the others got up before dawn?

E:  No sir - we all did our part, and worked on the level. I was just another soldier. Just another jacket. 

Teddy: Are you sure?

E:  Yes sir.

Teddy: Cause we sent a photographer over there, and caught a slide of you in action. Here is
 the photograph... [The picture is brought out, and uncovered before the camera - it's the one on the chair, with tall glasses, and sun lounges.]  Looks like a cruise more then a war. [Nudges E.] Are those alcoholic beverages? 

E:  [Smiles and chuckles.] Tea, it's tea.

Teddy: Are you sure? Cause I think I had one last night...

E:  Just tea - and sir, well, I can only say one thing about this picture; it was taken without?.

Teddy: [Butts in.] Tell me, how did it come to be that you were out in the sun, taking a leisurely drink when you're supposed to be fighting a war?

E:  Well we had days off.

Teddy: And this is what you did when you had days off?

E:  Well we slept as well.

Teddy: Slept? I haven't slept in three days... [To the audience.] I think I might join the army!

Audience [Applauses.]

E:  You'll sleep well, you'll get very tired.

Teddy: [Smiles.] Well now that you're back, what are you going to do?

E:  Well you know, the army changes a man - after seeing what I did in war, and knowing we've got the best fleet looking after our country, I thought it be best that I get married.

Teddy: Married! Well I didn't see that one coming! You have someone special in mind?

E:  No, not specifically.

Teddy: Just someone.

E:  Hopefully.

Teddy: Ladies? Anyone want to marry E?

Audience [Applause.]

CrowdMember01 I'll marry you!

Girls: [Squeal.]

E:  [Laughs.]

Teddy: Well, I'll collect the proposals and send them to you.

E:  That would be great.

 Teddy: [Smiles.] Now we're ending the programme soon - so have you got any last words? Anything you want to say, or sing?

E:  As a matter of fact, I do have a song. 

Teddy: He has a song!

Audience [Squeals.]

Teddy: Here it is, first song since he's been shipped to shore - E! [Backs away with his hand held high.]

[A spotlight shines on E.]

E:  [Smiles.] It's called, "It's Good To Be Home." [A tune intro picks up.] [E sings the song, tries to jiggle - but looses the tune as he bounces, so he ends up just trying to stand still. He ends the song where the lyrics stopped on the sheet - but the music continues. He looks around with a bewildered stare, and hums a little of the tune warily, he tries a little more bouncing, and clicks his fingers - the clicks are off beat. E smiles, hums a little more, and then after another minute the light fades.] 

[E storms off the stage, as the audience gives a light applause.]

E:  [Storms up to Teddy who is laughing over a tall glass of alcohol by the wings.] What the hell? The music didn't cut out on cue!

Teddy: I guess the credits must have lasted longer then usual.

E:  You old green-eyed bastard - you set me up!

Teddy: Of course I didn't. [Takes out from his pocket a cheque.] I just got you paid - here's the money for the ticket home.

E:  [Scowls, takes the cheque, and turns.] 

Teddy: [Pats him on the shoulder.] Welcome home. [Laughs.]

E:  [Scowls, and rushes away.]


      [E sulks all the way to his hometown. He gets off the train, and muscles his pack through the town as he walks towards home. Some people notice him and whisper, other people walk past rudely brushing his army jacket clad shoulder. E grits his teeth, and walks past block after block of houses.] 

[E arrives at his father's house, and goes inside. He drops his bag on the ground by his dirt-stained boots, and calls. No one answers. He walks through the house slowly, and stops by the kitchen in order to help himself to a cold sausage wrapped in bread. He then walks on through.]

E:  Wow, have I missed a holocaust or something?

[E looks at the family pictures on the wall, and then goes to his room. There, he sifts through a few things - he finds in a drawer his old high school reports, letters, ticket buds from concerts, change for taxi's? He eats the rest of the sausage, and then hunts for a key taped to the back of the drawer. He rips it off, and then takes it to another hutch of drawers, and opens a drawer with the key. He moves aside folded clothes and underwear, until he reaches his cake tin - a storage tin where he keeps most of his cash, and the phone numbers of his manager and friends. He opens it, finds a stash of dollars, pockets some money, and the phone number pad. He then closes the tin, closes the drawer, tapes the key back in place, before finally walking out.]

[E sits in the lounge, and dials a number - it's the number of his manager. The manager answers.]

E:  Hey sweetheart, thanks for the homecoming gift - it was a real beaut.

Manager What the hell do you mean? I thought that was an impersonator on that stupid show last night - are you telling me you landed on shore, and scored a job all by yourself?

E:  I was practically kidnapped Pa! I didn't know what to make of it. They had my pictures on these annual magazines, and I'm just thinking, 'Well I've just come back from a war, I don't know what the hell is going on!'

Manager Well, they had no right to take you on board the show without my presence. I am going to write that entertainment company a very strong letter about my objection.

E:  Did it appear as bad as it felt?

Manager Worse.

E:  [Murmurs.] Maybe that's why people were staring me down, and brushing my shoulder on the way here...

Manager Well perhaps, but there have been also some protests against this freakish war. 

E:  You don't say?

Manager Your voice sounded weak.

E:  Well you don't practise songs when you're part of the army - you practice marches.

Manager Which is why you should never appear on a show when you're unprepared for it. It sounded like your first time in a recording studio - amateur. Never mind, you're back; we have to plan on what you're going to be doing now your feet are back on shore.

E:  Well I need a job. I've got only about fifty dollars on me.
 
Manager That's your worth net?

E:  I'm afraid so - this ugly duckling is gonna be a hay-chewing Hick for a while yet. [Feels inside his pocket, and feels the un-cashed cheque.] Oh now, I forgot; I also got thirteen dollars for the show. 

Manager Well don't sink too far in the pool of despair - I've got some great news for you! While you've been in the army, I've been able to sell a few things - from pictures, to singles, to albums. The fans have eaten you up.

E:  And?

Manager I don't know if you've realised it, but you've become somewhat of a celebrity. I've got a cheque here with your name on it - it reads four hundred thousand dollars.

E:  [Gapes startled.] Hang on Pa - are you saying I earned more money when I was out of the country, then when I was in it?

Manager That's what I'm saying?.

E:  Are you kidding me? Pulling hairs out of a carrot?

Manager I'm not kidding you. [After a pause.] What do you think you'll do with the money?

E:  [E takes a glance around.] Well I think I'll need a house, then a car, and then a wife...

Manager Oh yes, the celebrity wants a baby. [Scoffs.] Really E?

E:  [Ignores the manager, and continues on.] I'll need a hunk of food, and someone to cook it?clothes, jewellery? I want silk scarves, silver-tipped shoes?

Manager You'll be broke in a week. 

E:  Does it matter? I'm going to be able to afford everything I've ever wanted?Woo-hoo! Hoo!

Manager You want me to drop you your cheque right now?

E:  Hell yeah! Bring a catalogue too, I'm in the mood to go shopping!

[E picks out his house and a car that afternoon. He packs his things up at his father's house, and carts everything over to the brand new house.]


      [At evening E arrives at the front door of his father's old house - the light inside is on. He places his hands in his pockets, and then enters the house. It is dusky inside - the smell of sauce and beans are fresh in his nostrils. He walks inside, easy steps, and finds his dad in front of the television.]

E:  Hello there?

Father: [Rolls his eyes to him.] Where's your uniform?

E:  I got changed. I'm no longer a part of the army.

Father: Why?

E:  Well sir, it's because I got injured.

Father: [Rolls his eyes back to E.] You don't look injured.

E:  I hold a scar in my ear - I'm half deaf from some live fire; you can't stay in service if you have something like that. Oh, I also have concussion. 

Father: [Snorts, and takes a drink.]

E:  Well, anyway; I just found out that I earned quite a lot of money here when I was away, and so I brought a house. That's where I moved all of my things, that's why my room looks bare...

Father: [Shrugs.] So you brought your own shack? well I must say it's about time.

E:  No, it's not quite a shack - it's a mansion; bigger then any other around.

Father: [Laughs.] Now I know you're exaggerating things. 

E:  It is a mansion. [Takes out a picture and a receipt.] See? Right on the border of the next state - even bigger then the place I was renting for a month a few years back.

Father: [Takes a glance, and then gives it back.] You'll go broke you know - payments turn into debts sooner or later.

E:  I paid for it full.

Father: Well it's nice to see you're doing well...

E:  [After a pause.] You should visit it; if you're tired of this Hick shack, you could even stay - there's an extra room, or there's a shack? it's got its own kitchenette... I've got a brand new car to drive you there - it's parked a few yards back from the drive...

Father: If it's all the same I'd rather live here. It's easy here. I'm sure you'll want to throw parties, and get into mischief - I don't want to be a part of that. Besides, this is my place - my mansion; may not be much, but it's where I fit.

E:  [Takes a piece of paper from his pocket.] Well, here's my address? [Pauses as he re-checks the written scrawl.] If you ever want to visit, or stay - you can. [Puts a slip of paper on the table.]

Father: I may do that sometime.

E:  [Shuffles.] Well that's all I came to see you for - I've got a welcome party to greet me back at home.

Father: It was nice to see you again son.

E:  Yes. It's
 nice to be home. [Turns, and walks out the door.]


       [E goes back to his place where his new friends are having a party. He doesn't know a lot of them, and wearily wanders inside. Inside someone cuts him up a slip of cocaine - E immediately passes on the offer.]

E:  Grew off the stuff in the army.

Friend: Oh man! Don't be like that! You have to get in the zone of the mind - otherwise you won't be liked. 

E:  [Frowns, and then smiles.] Well, I guess you gotta be liked... [Takes a little.] 

Friend: [Pats him on the back.]

E:  [Brushes his nose, retires to his room, and sighs.] [E lies on his bed, and waits for things to quieten downstairs. As time passes he grows bored, and ambles downstairs in order to meet the crowd once more. He catches sight of a puddle of throw up on the carpet on the bottom of the stairs, and grimaces. He jumps over it. E then goes into the entertainment room where there are a huge group of girls all doing their hair, and talking over peach schnapps, and gin. He moves to the kitchen, and finds a few guys with some high female friends talking about the wonders of bread.  E grows bored, and goes to his room in order to call his dad.]

Father: Hello?

E:  Hi, pa...

Father: What are you doing calling me at this hour?

E:  I?. [Sighs.] I forgot all my friends were out serving in the army.

Father: Surely not all of them are still there...

E:  [Thinks.] Well maybe some just moved away; but I've got all of these people in my house, and I don't really know a single on of them.

Father: Are they being unruly?

E:  Well no, they're just sitting there... Someone threw up - but the others are just being quiet, and keeping to themselves while listening to my mighty jukebox. 

Father: Since when do you have a mighty jukebox?

E:  I told you, I went shopping...

Father: [Scoffs.] Well son, if you want them gone, just ask them to leave.

E:  [Murmurs.] Yes, I suppose you're right...

Father: That's a mighty dangerous thing to do - invite a group of strange kids over... Don't be surprised if things get stolen... 

E:  [Cuts in.] I was told they were nice company.

Father: Well, you've heard my concern - now I'd rather get back to bed, if that's all you called about.

E:  Pa??. [Thoughtful silence.]

Father: Yes son?

E:  [Sighs.] Nothing?. goodnight.

Father: Goodnight son.

E:  [Hangs up the phone. He goes downstairs, and tries to listen to some music with the group of girls - one passes him a drink, but other then that their attention strays over to a picture on the wall, more then to him. He waits until the company is prepared to leave, but eventually falls asleep.]


      [E wakes up in the morning. He rubs his face, and looks around - all about him are empty bottles, pieces of string and beads, and a few meshes of hair and bow ties. The smell of perfume lingers slightly. E stands up, wanders about, and finds the front door open and the house empty. He stretches, closes the door, and then goes upstairs. He finds his brand new sheets have been rumpled, and finds a few odd stains on their skins. E grimaces, strips his bed of his sheets, and then throws them in a corner].

E:  New sheets too! [Brushes off his hands.] 

[E goes into the shower, washes, and shaves. He then dresses, and goes downstairs to make breakfast. E looks in the fridge, and finds most of the food has been consumed]. 

E:  No food... [He kneels in order to see what is in the back of the fridge.] Readily take my food, and not my company...

[E finds a steak, some cheese, and puts them both in a frying pan. He then adds buttermilk, salt, pepper, and herbs]. 

E:  There....easy. [E plates the food and takes a sniff.] Smells great.

[E eats at the dinner table and finds that the food combination is a little unbalanced, and he has to in the end uncomfortably down the breakfast with a glass of water tight in his hand.]

E:  [Shakes his head, and then lightly burps out loud.]  I think I need a cook. [Feels his stomach.] I just don't have the knack for this cooking stuff. 


       [E goes off to find a piece of paper, and writes an add which he plans to pin up on the church's community noticeboard.] 

[The phones rings - E answers it. It's his manager.]

E:  Hello?

Manager How's the morning shaping up for you E?

E:  Oh? [Looks at the paper.] It's just fine.

Manager I've got good news! A studio wants you to record a new record, and has offered a movie contract. The bad news is, it's the kind of song list you don't seem to like - there is so much sap in the lyrics my fingers are sweating out tears.

E:  Well that doesn't sound like good news! It sounds like I'm some prissy comeback arriving from candy ball farming, rather then the military.

Manager Well the audience needs to relax - the threat of war has banged peoples brains up long enough; they want to feel good, and lay down to music - rather then get worked up over it.

E:  [Rubs his chin.] I don't know?

Manager Come on, it's a great deal, and will cover over the crap you performed on television - it may take months to get a contract so good. You're only hot because your sales have hit the roof - if you wait for the best offer, your value will die with the wave. You have to seize opportunities as you get handed them - this is one you don't want to let go.

E:  Well what's the movie about?

Manager Teenage dribble. A rebel son goes against his father's wishes and voids college to take a vacation. While there, he meets a girl. Sparks fly. He spends his time trying to woe her, and by the end they are together.

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] How can you make a movie out of that?

Manager Well there's a script in my hand - nice, and heavy; they've done it somehow...

E:  Do I have to kiss?

Manager Of course - a nice long one, right at the end.

E:  You have to make it clear no tongues - I got a friend who got bumps over his tongue after letting some girl do that to him. 

Manager It just has to look good. I'll run that fact over the director though, get him prepared to shoot angles.

E:  [Sighs.] Still? it doesn't sound that it would be a good show! [Sighs.] There's no fighting, or nothing?

Manager [Smiles.] Well you get to fight with your dad at the beginning - a few shakes from him, a push from you?

E:  [Wrinkles his nose.] I'd rather arm-swinging, fist-flying hits - why not make it about a son that went to war, met a girl, fell in love, had to fight, and then died with her last letter clutched tight in his hand. That would be classic right there. 

Manager That's not on offer.

E:  Well that would be better!

Manager [Chuckles.] So will you do it if I agree to this deal?

E:  [Sighs, and thinks.]

Manager E?

E:  Yea; nooo;  yeah, okay - I guess I should do it.

Manager Great. Now I think you should come over today, just to warm up your skills, maybe to flip through the script, and to practise some tunes. 

E:  Is there lunch involved?

Manager [Thinks.] Well I could prepare a sandwich, or something - I've got bread... [Chuckles.]

E:  Pa, you know what? I need a cook.

Manager [Thinks.] I might be able to find you one.

E:  How about you find one, get her over here, and I'll do practice here. I can shout in the backyard for miles, and no one will hear it. It'll cancel out the wall-thumping that you get at your place.

Manager I might not find a cook for days.

E:  Well, why don't you send me the script, I'll practise, and then give you a performance when you have my cook.

Manager I could do that? but I could also just tell you to get your lazy ass over here, and do some practise today while my mood has a cherry on top of it.

E:  [Wrinkles his nose.] Well I could do that I suppose?.

Manager I'll see you in an hour.

E:  Fine sir.

Manager [Hangs up the phone.]

E:  [Looks to the phone, hangs up with a sigh, and rubs his head.] I guess I gotta get ready...


      [E ambles around getting ready, and after a while he hops into the car and drives to the manager's house. The manager greets him, then leads him to a room in the garage where he can practice his singing and performance.]

[E begins with some sounds which trip on a self-made scale. He tries a song which his manager has picked, and then he tries one of his old ones in order to focus on a note he has already made with success. After warm up he pretends he's on stage singing to an audience. He is abruptly told to stop while the manager goes to shuffle with some papers at the side of the room in order to find the script to read from.]

Manager You're sound is all right - but you have to soften those notes, and hold them. It's not rock and roll you'll be singing, it'll be peppy happy tunes. 

E:  I got it? [Looks to his nails.]

Manager [Approaches E with the script.] Okay so I've assessed your singing - now lets see you act. [Pushes the script onto his chest.]

E:  [Gulps, takes the script, and opens it.]

Manager Start at page two.

E:  [Turns to page two.] Hey pa, I thought I'd go on vacation rather then college this year.

Manager Oh no! That was terrible! You're mumbling your words - speak clearer, louder... [Walks to the farthest side of the room.] Make it clear, strong, no compromise - this is rebellion!

E:  [Clears his throat.] Hey Pa! I thought I'd go on vacation rather then college this year!

Manager [Chuckles under his hand.]

E:  What?

Manager Nothing, you're doing fine - just keep going... 

E:  Just my lines, or the other ones as well?

Manager Just yours - nothing else matters.

E:  But I don't want to go to college - I don't want to be a prep boy, stuck in sweatshirts, and striped pants! I want to go and have fun!

E:  I don't care if it's the best college in the area! I want to get away from dusty books, and ink-pads! 

Manager [Laughs.]

E:  What?

Manager Nothing, keep reading...

E:  Well, it's my future I'm throwing away! You aren't part of it!

Manager More passion.

E:  Well it's my future I'm throwing away! You aren't part of
 it!

Manager All right... now page twenty-three.

E:  [Shuffles to page twenty three.] Okay?uhm?Well? [Clears his throat.] Well I'm the kind of person who likes a little adventure. I wouldn't be here if I weren't. Uh?. [Reads.] It says I get pushed into the water, and splash around...

Manager Let's see it.

E:  [Blushes, then kneels down, and starts weakly flailing his arms.]

Manager More, you need more - you need to be scared! If you read it right, you can't actually swim E.

E:  [Flails a little more.]

Manager You cry for help.

E:  Help! Help!

Manager Like you mean it.

E:  HELP! HELP! HELP!

Manager [Laughs out loud.] Oh boy;

E:  [Stands up.] Well, I'm sure I'll be more convincing when I'm in the water.

Manager Okay. Page sixty-two.

E:  Okay?. [Flips through the pages, and clears his throat.] Well I always told you I liked adventure? [Mumbles the word.] Kisses. 

Manager Oh no? that was dry as crisp-bread! Make it smooth, like you're offering the lady a glass of fine wine.

E:  Well I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager Smoother, and give me the stare. [Walks closer.]

E:  Well I always told you I liked adventure?.

Manager Your face is dead - really get the sexy thing happening.

E:  Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager Again.

E:  Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager Smile a little - like you've just found a diamond;

E:  Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager It's sparkling in your eyes - you're dazed, you're in awe?

E:  Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager You're frowning - lighten it up.

E:  Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager You've got perfume in your eyes?

E:  [Squints a little.] Well, I always told you I liked adventure?

Manager [Scoffs.] Maybe the camera will fix you up. [Pauses.] Well now we're done - take that script home, and learn it. I'll call you in a few weeks.

E:  Yes sir.

Manager And try talking to a mirror - it's good practise. 

E:  Yes sir. [Lingers.]

Manager [Lights a cigarette.] What are you hanging around for? I said go!

E:  I haven't been able to find my friends, and well? it's just that? [Shuffles.]

Manager [Smiles.] Your band geeks, and layabouts, have scrammed - I'll send you some new ones; give me a few weeks. I'll send you a cook too - I've got a lead on one already, just have to check her out; she'll come cheap...  

E:  Can she cook?

Manager You mean can she put together that greasy slop you call food? I think so.

E:  Well, that will be just swell - I can tear up the advertisement that I was going to put up in the church. 

Manager What advertisement?

E:  [Takes out a piece of paper from his pocket.]

Manager [Reads it, and chuckles.] E? words can't express how lousy this is.

E:  What? It says cook wanted, for home?

Manager I can read what it says. [Crumples it up.] Now get out of here - I've got business to do.

E:  Yes sir. [Leaves.]


      [E drives home, he parks his car at his place, and goes into his house. He trudges up the stairs to his room, throws the script on a table, and lays down.]

E:  Two weeks?.then this world will change?.[Smiles, and then closes his eyes.]


      [Three weeks later E goes to the shoot sight where the movie is being filmed. He meets the staff.]

Manager E this is the director Ed Petterson.

E:  Hi there Mr Petterson.

Petterson  [Smiles, and then puts a cigar in his mouth.] So, you're the new talent huh?

E:  That's right.

Petterson  [Snorts.] Well I already know we'll need two things - collared shirts, and long shots. 

Manager [Laughs.]

E:  [Shuffles uncomfortably.]

Petterson  [Smiles, and looks E up and down.] Your trailer is in the back, in slot A. Get dressed, and blushed up? I hope for your sake you remember your script - my high paid actors aren't the kind to act nicely to air-headed pass-overs. [Walks on.]

E:  [Gapes, and follows Petterson with his eyes as confusion and anger nip at his mind.] Hey Pa, what do you think he meant by that?

Manager Nothing E - it's just tough director talk. Don't worry, you'll never meet a director who'll be nice to you - remember that. Now let's get moving.

E:  [Shakes his head, and walks on.]


[In the dressing room E gets made up. He looks at the mirror helplessly as the artists do their work. They try a few different hair waves, but nothing really works -  in the end they settle for a comb over.]

E:  Ain't this kind of hairdo for balding guys?

Artist: Nonsense - it's the celebrity style! It's for everyone who's anyone.

E:  [Smiles.]


      [E stumbles out of the caravan and gets directed to where the set up is. He looks upon it with apprehension and awe - then he sees the other actors sitting on celebrity chairs while waiting for their spot, and he decides to walk up to them.]

E:  Hey there?.

Petterson  WHO IS THAT TALKING? [Storms up to E]. Can't you see we're in the middle of a shoot?

E:  Sorry?

Petterson  Just be quiet! Have a seat next to your co-star Miss Nina Ashkins. [Shows E the chair.] Be ready for scene four when I call you.

E:  Hang on? what's scene four?

Petterson  [Wide eyed, and red faced.] You didn't learn your lines?

E:  No I did - but I learned them from the beginning. 

Petterson  [Rolls his eyes.] Script! Script! Someone get this boy a script!

[A stage-hand runs over with a script.]

Petterson  [Snatches it, and then smiles to E.] Here you go - take a good look, read it even; just you be ready with the words when I call you, okay?

E:  Thank you sir. [Takes the script.]

Petterson  [Petterson storms off, and shouts through a hand speaker.] AGAIN PLEASE!

E:  [Takes a glance over at Nina.]

Nina:  [Smiles, then goes back to watching the action.]

E:  [Flips through the script with hands shaking.]


      [Time passes, the script gets read, the actors move through the scenes as back up crew amble about. Finally Nina and E get their call - together they go to the set, where there's a spot of sand, and an ocean backdrop.]

Petterson  Okay... action!

E:  [Stiffens, and glances to Nina.]

Nina:  [Smiles, and then gets serious.] So are you going to stay long?

E:  [Stares at her vacantly.]

Nina:  I said, are you going to stay long?

E:  [Blinks, and gasps.]

Nina:  [Teases.] What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

E:  [Gulps.] No, I just never realised how beautiful you were - it takes my words right away...

Nina:  [Laughs an actors laugh.] Oh, a fresh man - that is amusing... [Kicks her toe in the sand a little, wondering if the director is going to call a cut. When he doesn't she continues on.] Well, I really don't care if you tell me or not anyway - I was just asking to be polite.

E:  Well I like you asking - maybe you should do it again, only maybe you should try asking me out next time.

Nina:  [Smiles, and clasps her hands behind her back.] Maybe I should ask you to sit on my daddy's knee...

E:  [Smiles.] Why don't you ask if you can sit on my knee?

Nina:  [Gasps, and gives him a push.]

E:  [Laughs.] Hey there, what's with the hands? We've only just met...
 
Nina:  And I already want you far away from me! [Storms of across the sand.]

E:  [Laughs, and jogs up to her.] Hey, I'm sorry; I can't stop myself when I'm near someone so beautiful. 

Nina:  [Spins around.] Then make yourself blind!

E:  But then I wouldn't be able to see you...

Nina:  [Angry.] That's just like a man, to see with his eyes before anything else! [Storms off.]

E:  What else are we supposed to see with?

Nina:  [Walks off the set, runs to the side, and shakes her head as she gets wrapped inside a dressing gown.] 

E:  [Looses his smile a little, and turns around with his hands in his pockets.]

Petterson  CUT!

E:  [Jumps, looks up at Petterson, and almost gets blinded by the lights.]

Petterson  [Gets down from his spot, and approaches E.] What the hell was that? You didn't read a word of script! What have you been doing for the last hour? Ogling the actress?

E:  She threw me off with the first line.

Petterson  Get back to your seat, read the script, and be ready in ten! [Shouts into the microphone.] TAKE TEN!


      [Ten minutes later Nina, and E, get the call.]

Petterson  Now? ACTION!

Nina:  So are you going to stay here long?

E:  Only as long as my bank account lets me stay.

Nina:  [Smiles.] Not long then?

E:  [Tries to ogle.] Long enough for me to get to know you.

Nina:  [Laughs.] What makes you think I want you to know me?

E:  Well you're talking to me aren't you?

Nina:  I was giving you directions - then I just asked?

E:  [Smiles.] To be polite?

Nina:  [Smiles.] Yes! I really don't care to know you.

E:  Just give it time, you'll change your mind.

Nina:  What makes you say that?

E:  All girls change their mind when they're with me.

Nina:  Not me.

E:  Tell me that when it's time for me to leave.

Nina:  [Smiles, and then looks ahead.] 

Petterson  CUT! [Walks up to the stage.] A bit stiff, but at least the lines are right... E you need to distort your face when you talk, and you need to open your throat. Nina, you need to act with your body more. [Shouts out.] NEXT SCENE!


      [The day wears on - E gets yelled at regularly, and the actors get angry in the way he forgets his lines and improvises through scene, after scene. 

E:  [In a club scene.] Well all night is only an hour after sun down...

Director Cut!

E:  [In a bar scene.] Well I've got a boat of love sunk on shore.

Director Cut!

E:  [In a sitting scene.] Pa said for me to marry, and never return without gratitude.

Director Cut!

Nina:  [In a bar scene Nina crosses her arms, and turns away.] 

E:  Come on fuzzy bunny, give me a helping hand...

Nina:  [Gapes.]

Director Cut!

Crew:  [Moans, and shakes their head.]

Nina:  [Yells.] The words are 'Stop giving me the cold shoulder, and give me a penny to spare!'

Director Take five Nina. [To E.] E... STOP IT! [Slaps the script against his chest.]


      [The day turns into a week, a week
 a month. The yelling gets more severe as the time lapses. Finally after six long months, the final cut is made.]

E:  Could I take your shell to remember you?

Nina:  You can do more then that... [Gives him a kiss.] 

E:  [Kisses her back.]

Petterson  THAT'S A WRAP!

Nina:  [Pulling away.] Finally! [Walks off the set.] Robe!

E:  [Sighs, then slowly follows.]

Nina:  [Dressed in a fur robe she eyes E.] You can go home and kill yourself now, before the worst is shown to the public on opening day.

E:  [Scowls, and mumbles as he walks away.] I think I'd rather kill you?

[A sweeper nearby hears his mumbled words, and smiles as he watches E storm off the set.]


      [E goes into his caravan, washes his face, and looks into the mirror. He gets spooked by his reflection which is so pale it's almost ghost-like. He grimaces, then wipes over his face, and prepares to get dressed. A knock is heard on the caravan's door - E goes over, and opens it. There is a young man standing there.]

Young Man  Telegram.

E:  [Takes the telegram and closes the door.  He reads it aloud.] You are invited to an end of show celebration. Be at hall two by six pm sharp. [Mutters.] I hope they're serving a lot of drinks at this thing. [Sighs, and rubs his forehead.]


      [At the party.]

Petterson  Hey Joe! How's the arm? Hey Mac - smoking? Hey Lora, still trying to be dazzling? Hey? [Goes up to E as he is about to take a sip of wine, and slaps him on the back.]

E:  [The wine spills on E's shirt front.] Oh no, my best one...

Petterson  [Laughs.] Be glad it's not red. [Looks at E as he tries to dab at the patch with his shirt cuff.] So, how do you feel about the work you've done these past months E?

E:  [Stops rubbing, and looks at Petterson.] Well I think I did quite well?

Petterson  [Laughs.] You would! 

E:  [Frowns.] What's that supposed to mean?

Petterson  Well, it simply means you have no credible opinion.

E:  [Gets mad.] Credible opinion?

Petterson  That's right. 

E:  So what's your credible opinion sir?

Petterson  [Laughs again.] Well, my opinion is that your talent is non-existent - you clearly have no training, and your speech is terrible. If I weren't directing so well you would have been flicked before you even began to try - why, the first second I saw you, I knew that this country kid couldn't act.

E:  So why did you keep me on?

Petterson  [Smiles.] You're the newest face around - this picture was made with your profile in mind. 

E:  So you only kept me on because of my looks?

Petterson  I kept you on because of your reputation - it's the audience who will decide whether its your face, or voice, that they like best.

E:  [Cringes.]

Petterson  [Smiles.] Don't worry so much - one person thinks you might have an actors diamond beyond the lousy surface. [Reaches into his pocket.] I was told to give you this. [Gives E a card.]

E:  [Takes it.]

Petterson  This is for a new project, over in Lot fourteen, Block D. You just have to ring, and they'll tell you what time to arrive at the lot. I told them it would be career suicide - they told me it would be suicide not to try you out. So if you have the guts, you might want to try it - but I must warn you, it's not fun and games you're dealing with here; this is the serious stuff. My lot's candy-land compared to this other business. [Pauses, and looks at E.] Well enjoy the rest of the evening. [Hits his back again.]

E:  [Spills some more wine on his shirt - he gets angry, he looks around. Some people stare at him, and begin to whisper, and shake their heads - E can tell their words are not nice, so he puts the wine flask on a table, and heads off.]


      [In the caravan E paces to and fro, muttering under his hot breath. He looks at the card and reads the name, and phone number.]

E:  Serious stuff? [Frowns.] Well, I guess I can just give it a go. [Picks up the phone.] Hey there, I want to try out for the movie. Yes sir I am under contract. No sir, I don't know about that. The manager is the one who deals with my contracts. No sir. I don't know. I don't know. I said I don't know! Who referred me? The director. Yes Sir. [Waits.] Yes? Tomorrow? Eleven am? Yes sir! [Hangs up the phone with a smile on his face.] Well, it doesn't sound bad.


      [The next day E goes to the lot, and gets ushered to a seat. He waits. Auditions start. E sees people come in, and get called before him. He waits, and he waits. He gets mad, and gets off his seat in order to approach reception.]

E:  Hey, why is it taking so long for him to get seen to?

Reception  It's a long process. Just sit down and wait.

E:  [Nods.] 

[The clock creaks to seven pm, and E finally gets his call.]


[E walks in a little haggardly, after realising that his right leg is suffering pins and needles.]

Director [Looks at E as he enters.] Sit on the chair please...

E:  [Sits.]

Director Name?

E:  E.

Director Full name?

E:  It's just E sir. 

Director I see? So E is your first name?

E:  Yes sir.

Director What is your last name?

E:  [Thinks.] W.

Director E.W.? That is your full name?

E:  E is my name.

Director E?

E:  That's what people call me by.

Director Is that what's on your birth certificate?

E:  No? I have a longer name there - but E is my official second name; it's what I use.

Director [Smiles at E.] What you use.

E:  Yes sir.

Director Very well. [Puts the pen down.] What are you going to read for me E?

E:  Read?

Director You have a script I presume?

E:  I was just told to come down here...

Director [Frowns.] You have no script prepared?

E:  Well, I can act out one that I know?

Director Please do.

E:  [Stands up.] There's supposed to be two people though - but this is my part... [Looks to an imaginary spot.] Hey there?no I haven't?hey?wait?how about we go for a walk? No?! It's just a nice night?

Director [Laughs.]

E:  [Stops.]

Director [Stops abruptly, and picks up a page of script.] Try this? [Throws the script - it lands at his feet.]

E:  [E bends down, and picks it up - he looks at the paper hard, and begins to read.] I've never been the kind who likes to wear tuxes, or the kind who acts cordial around all those polished high brows - I like my greasy foods, my motor engines, and my girls at home scrubbing the dishes and minding the babies. You knew that about me before we got married, and now you expect me to change? No? no! That ain't ever gonna happen?

Director Oh boy, was that flat... what's your acting experience?

E:  Well sir, I just finished doing a movie - before that I was a singer.

Director You've actually acted in a movie? What part? 

E:  The main part.

Director [Frowns.] Who on earth would put you in a movie?

E:  Petterson sir.

 Director  Petterson? The Ed Petterson?

E:  Yes sir?

Director Holy smokes? [Writes something down on a pad of paper.] Okay, come with me - leave the script on the desk.

[Director leads E into the next room where there is a set waiting.]

Director [Directs.] Go over to the set, and let me take a few pictures under some lighting.

E:  [Walks over to the set, and stands under the lights.]

Director [Fiddles with a motion camera.] Okay? walk to the front of the stage, around the pole on the side - a real stern walk, like you're angry! Then lean against the wall, look down, and sulk.

E:  Yes sir.

Director Action!

E:  [Does the walk.]

Director Cut! [Turns the camera off, and changes the lighting. He goes over to a box, picks up some basic make up, and approaches E.]

E:  [Flinches.] Hey there?

Director Relax, this is just to make you look a little more like a star...

E:  [Lets the Director apply some basic make up.]

Director Okay? now just make it look like you're in the worst place you can imagine.

E:  [Nods, and acts.]

Director [Changes the lighting, takes out a camera, and starts to take some pictures.] Okay E? you can go now.

E:  [Nods, and leaves.]


      [E goes back to his caravan and find his belongings have been packed, and thrown on the ground. He approaches, and finds a letter attached to the top of one bag. E picks reads the letter.]

E:  [E reads out loud.] E, thank you for your contribution to this film. Attached is a coupon for a free train ticket. You are required to leave the premises by five pm. If you have not left by the desired time, enforcement will be applied. Sincerely, E. Petterson. [E rolls his eyes.] How am I supposed to catch a train home? The stations are closed by now! [Looks at the caravan, and decides to spend the night there. However it is locked.] Damn it! [E picks up his bags, sling them over his shoulders, and leaves.]


      [E sleeps by the entrance of the train station until morning. A cleaner awakes him.]

Cleaner You all right there sonny?

E:  Yes sir, I was just waiting for the station to open.

Cleaner Won't be open for a good half hour yet - but I can let you inside the waiting area, rather then have you look like a stray dog by the entrance here.

E:  That would be good.

Cleaner You got money for a ticket?

E:  Yes sir, I got a coupon. 

Cleaner Good cause the last thing we need is someone who wants to use this station as a sleeping cart. [Shows E the sitting area.]

E:  Thank you sir. [Sits down.]

Cleaner I'm gonna work around you for a little while - got to polish up these floors before their daily trample. [Gets a mop and starts to mop the area.]

E:  [Nods, and waits.]


[E catches a train home.]

      [E hops off the train, and walks to his house. He goes inside, up the stairs, and then collapses on the bed.]

E:  [Sighs.] I don't ever want to get up ever again.


[A few days later E gets a call from the manager.]

Manager Hey E, I heard you did a good shoot for the film. It's being edited, and cut - they think it might reach popular appeal.

E:  Well that's great.

Manager Now, I am still searching for a band for you - hopefully we'll be recording again in weeks; there's huge demand for a new song. Studio producers
 thought that your new single should be a theme song - specifically their studio produced theme song - but it was too cornflour, even for me. So ?so, I have a few new songs - pretty easy to sing stuff. I'm going to hear what their demo's are like, later today. If it gains management approval you'll be back in business!

E:  [Rubs his eyes.] That's great Pa.

Manager What's the matter there, you sound?

E:  Oh, nothing.

Manager What is it?

E:  Well, oh I don't know. 

Manager You know what you need? Some company. I'm sending you a cook tomorrow - I'm sure you, and she, will become best of friends.

E:  Well that ain't hard, if she can cook?

Manager She can cook anything - I tried out her three-layer cream cheese cake; delicious! 

E:  [Looks down at himself.] What else?

Manager Heaps of things - pies, sausages, pudding; hell if you buy a cow, she'll even make butter for you!

E:  [Frowns.] Uh-hu?

Manager You'll be eating your strength's worth in no time.

E:  But what about my buddies? Didn't I tell you to find me some of those?

Manager I'm getting to it - but if you're lonely, why don't you invite your old dad across? You have no excuse now that you have a cook...

E:  [Murmurs.] That's something to think about.

Manager Anyway I've got to go - take it right E! [Hangs up.]

E:  [Confused.] Hang on? what? [Listens to the disconnection, and then hangs up.] [E looks around and experiences sounds in the silence - creaks, birds?then there is an eerie calm that feels like ice on a winter's morning. E shivers.] Having a big house is no fun at all!


      [Weeks pass, then months - E gets busy with a new album, but the songs come out too dreary for commercial tastes. E gets annoyed about it, but doesn't talk about his annoyance; he just waits until the director is ready for him to sing, and then he sings until his throat is raw and dehydrated. 

Every time E goes back to his huge house, he feels more depressed about it then ever. He lays awake at night, looking at the ceiling, wondering how he should figure out his loneliness problem. 

The night he cuts the last take of his new CD, he decides to stay at a hotel. He goes to the most lowliest hotel he can find, and orders the best room. The room is still quite reasonable, despite its status].

E:  [Looks around his room.] This ain't half bad? [Looks in the bathroom, and sees a clean bath.] I can have a bath in that? [Looks to the bed, and sees folded towels, and a greeting card.] I can wear those?. [Sniffs himself.] Or maybe I'll just stay as I am? [Smiles, and turns on a radio in the corner - jazz plays. E smiles, and keeps it on as he lies on the bed, and stares at the lower ceiling]. [He sniffs.] Even the air is sort of fresh... [Hums a little to himself - but decides his throat is too sore to sing, so he just relaxes.] You know, I just need a huge meal set out just for me. [Picks up the telephone, and dials.] Hello, room service? Yeah, I'd like two burgers, a cheesecake, and a stash of chips with sauce.  Room 301. E. Just E. Thank you, bye. [Waits for room service, and realises the hotel is quiet.] I was expecting to hear some wall jerking? I guess no one rents out the third floor much. 

 [Within half an hour the room service arrives - he opens the door, thanks the girl who brought him the food, and then goes inside to eat. He listens to the radio, as he picks at his food. His stomach shrinks as the smell of the meal wafts up his nose.] Great, now I'm not hungry! [Pushes his meal away.] There's gotta be something else - anything else... [Waits for something to happen - nothing does.] Well, I've got to eat this food by morning - maybe I'll go for a walk to work up the hunger. [E goes down the flights of stairs, and goes for a walk. He looks at the small units that line the street, and sees that some have broken windows, and broken porches. He shudders, and then moves on. Time passes - E gets tired, and decides to head back to the hotel. He gets to the hotel, and finds a cleaner inside of his room who is about to spill his cold food into a dustbin.] 

E:  [Yells.] Hey there! Wait! [The cleaner freezes.] What the hell are you doing? That's my dinner!

RSCleaner01 I'm sorry - I thought?

E:  [Angry.] Who are you? Who let you in here?

RSCleaner01  I did? I'm in room service?

E:  You know I should have you fired for coming in here! I thought you didn't do this until the guest left!

RSCleaner01  Well I knocked, let myself in, and then I saw no one was here?

E:  I don't want to hear your story! I want you out of this hotel! Do you know who I am? [Picks up the phone, and looks at her.]

RSCleaner01  [Stands dumbly.] No?

E:  [Scoffs, and then dials the front desk.]

RSCleaner01  [Gasps, runs to the phone, and presses her fingers on the phone to disconnect it.] Don't! I can't loose my job! How about I get you a new meal - you'd like that huh? [Smiles.]

E:  [Thinks.] Well?maybe. [Removes her fingers, and puts down the phone.]

RSCleaner01  [Smiles.] I'll get you a new order right away! [Rushes out.] 

E:  [Looks at the cart inside his room, and smiles.] Well? [Fidgets with a duster head, and smiles.]


      [A short while later the cleaner comes in with a trolley loaded with goods.]

E:  [Lets her inside.] Holly cripes! I thought you went to get me a meal, not a banquet!

RSCleaner01 Well, the chef was out - I just grabbed bits of everything. It's not the same order - but I hope it can be just as appetising.

E:  I don't know? let me see?

RSCleaner01 [Lifts off the lid of every dish.] See there's some cake, some wine here? bread and cheese... some cold turkey if you want to make a sandwich; uhm? some more cake, and some cookies! There! [Smiles through a wave of sweat.]

E:  [Frowns.]

RSCleaner01 [Drops her smile.] It's the best I can do - please don't get me fired...

E:  [Looks at the card again.] Maybe I won't, if you share a drink with me. 

RSCleaner01 [Hesitates.] With? with the wine? 

E:  Well there's no other drink on this trolley.

RSCleaner01 Well? [Sighs.] Well only for a little while - I'm behind my shift; if I get too far behind I will get fired for not doing my duty.

E:  Well we can't have that! When do you finish work?

RSCleaner01 Ten? [Looks to her watch.] Ten fifteen, to make up for lost time.

E:  How about you come to this room after your shift, and have a drink then. 

RSCleaner01 Well? [Hesitates.] Okay.

E:  [Smiles, and looks at her neck where there is a gold necklace.] That's a pretty trinket...

RSCleaner01 Oh, thank you - it was my mothers, but she's dead now;

E:  Oh, I'm sorry... [Looks at it.] It must be very valuable to you.

RSCleaner01 Yes?

E:  How about I keep it... [Reaches, and undoes the clip at the back.] I'll keep it until you get here - then you can have a drink, and go home.

RSCleaner01 [Feels the chain get swiped, and gasps.] Well? [She sweats about having had the necklace taken from her.] You must give it back though.

E:  I will, but only when you come back for that drink. 

RSCleaner01 I'll try for ten pm. [Sighs, and takes the trolley and exits.] 


      [The room service cleaner comes back at 10:30pm.]

E:  Hey, I wasn't sure you were going to come back...

RSCleaner01 I had to - my dad would kill me if he saw me without my necklace.

E:  [Closes the door as the maid walks in.]

RSCleaner01 Where is it?

E:  [Removes the item from his pocket, and clips it round her neck.] There we go. 

RSCleaner01 [Smiles, and sits down on a chair.] I can't stay for too long, because I have to get home before eleven. 

E:  Where do you live?

RSCleaner01 A few blocks from here...

E:  Ain't it dangerous for a young lady to walk the streets at night?

RSCleaner01 No - well, I don't think so.

E:  [E smiles, and opens the bottle - the cork pops, and drizzle oozes from the top. He quickly fills up a glass, and then another.] It's nice to have some company - it's so quiet in this place; I thought it would be filled with drunks, and floozies...

RSCleaner01 The first floor is for all of that - you should have paid the cheaper fare.

E:  I thought I was on the cheaper fare.

RSCleaner01 [Takes a glass, and sips it.] So, you're not from around here?

E:  I'm from overseas - I just came out from the army.

RSCleaner01 Oh? You don't look like a soldier!

E:  That's cause I'm not in uniform - but I've still got a few muscles... [Rolls up his biceps.] Touch it, you'll feel it.

RSCleaner01 [Smiles, and pokes it tentatively.] All men have those - it's natural.

E:  [Smiles.] Yes, I suppose so...

RSCleaner01 So did you get injured?

E:  I got blasted off my feet by live fire - hit bramble, and got concussion. Doc said it was serious - they had to force me to come back. [Sighs.] I loved being a soldier, there's no greater cause then fighting for your country...

RSCleaner01 [Smiles.] Can't argue with that. 

E:  [Takes a sip from his flask as a small silence overwhelms the place.] So what do you do?

RSCleaner01 I? I'm a maid servant.

E:  What about when you aren't working?

RSCleaner01 Oh? [Shrugs.] Nothing, I guess...

E:  Nothing? 

RSCleaner01 [Smiles, and nods.] What do you do? When you aren't fighting?

E:  Well I graduated from school, worked as a labour hand in a few places, I starred in a movie once...

RSCleaner01 A movie? You're an actor?

E:  Yes ma'am.

RSCleaner01 What was the title of the movie? 

E:  Well, it hasn't come out yet - it's secret for now.

RSCleaner01 [Tilts her head, thinks, and then laughs.] You haven't been in no movie. 

E:  I have too!

RSCleaner01 [Smiles, and takes a sip of drink from her flask.] Well when you de-throne Mr Gable as the hottest star around, then you can say that to me.

E:  You like that old dribble actor?

RSCleaner01 Dribble?! He's not dribble - he's superb!

E:  Dribble... Dribble...

RSCleaner01 Well, who do you like?

E:  Brando - now there's someone who can act!

RSCleaner01 Huh! He can't even talk right!

E:
  Sure he can - it's the part that made him sound that way...

RSCleaner01 Nu-uh - me and my friend went and saw him on a stage play, and he talks the same way. I saw a TV interview with him too, and he still talked that way...

E:  But don't you see? Interviews, acting - it's all show! When you get him in a room, and sit face-to-face - I'm sure you'll see?

RSCleaner01 [Buts in.] Have you met him?

E:  Well?no...

RSCleaner01 Ha! Then you don't know what you're talking about!

E:  [Frowns.] I'm sure he ain't no dope act, that's all. 

RSCleaner01 [Rolls her eyes, and finishes her drink.] Well, I'm done; I guess I should get home now... [Stands up.] It was interesting, and I should thank you for hushing up about the business with the food... 

E:  [Frowns, and stands up.] Wait? are you sure you haven't seen me anywhere?

RSCleaner01 [Smiles.] Nope.

E:  Nowhere?

RSCleaner01 [Drops her smile, and frowns.] No, I'm sorry.

E:  Who's your favourite singer?

RSCleaner01 That's easy - Sinatra has a voice so smooth, and dreamy?

E:  Sinatra! Ha! That cotton wipe!

RSCleaner01 [Smiles.] Well, I'm sorry I can't be your ideal number. Now I've got to get my feet moving - when its past eleven it does get a little dangerous out there, even for me.

E:  Well, before you go let me give you something else... 

RSCleaner01 No, that's not necessary?

E:  Just one thing, please?. [Grabs her, and kisses her - it lingers, and then breaks.] That's for when you see the new film act appear in the gloss pages, and you'll be able to say I was kissed by him. 

RSCleaner01 [Smiles, and backs away.] I? I have to go. [She turns, heads to the door, pauses before she turns the handle, and then exits quietly.]

E:  [E frowns, sits on a chair, and slumps over as wonders how he can be so rich, and not be noticed by everyone.] 

[A short silence ensues, and then a knock is issued.]

E:  [E stands up, and answers.]

RSCleaner01 [Stands there smiling.] Do you want to show me where else that kiss can lead to?

E:  [Smiles.] Dangerous places - I wouldn't want to spoil you; best go home kid. 

RSCleaner01 [Frowns.] I knew it - you are a player! [Turns, and starts walking briskly down the hall.]

E:  [Laughs as he looks.]

RSCleaner01 Oh! And one more thing! [Turns, and comes back.] If I ever see anything like you on film, or TV - I'm gonna rass you out so bad, no one will want to even see you! [Turns.]

E:  [Puts a hand on her shoulder.] Wait there? maybe I spoke too harshly. Get back in here, and I'll see what I can do. 

RSCleaner01 [Turns with enraged tears in her eyes.] I thought you were hot for me - I don't want to be a charity case, I want to be a flame. No one kisses like that without a flame inside of them.

E:  [Puts a hand around her, and walks her inside.] Baby, I'll make you the flaming star. 

[E closes the door behind them.]


      [The next morning RSCleaner01 leaves the room to start a morning shift. Later E walks out feeling pretty good about himself. He passes the RSCleaner01 on the way and gives her a smile, and a wink. He goes to the lobby, and puts his key on the desk.]

Reception  Going somewhere?

E:  Home.

Reception  [Takes the key.] Have a great journey.

E:  Yes, I'll make sure of that.


        [E gets back to his mansion, and crashes on a chair once inside the house.]

E:  Well, that was adventure... now, gotta get busy!

Cook:  Is that you E?

E:  [Rolls his eyes, and stands as the cook enters.] 

Cook:  I saw the place was empty ,and used the spare key you gave me. I made you some food?

E:  I'm not too hungry right now. [Walks over to her, and gives her a few notes.] How about you get home, and I'll call you when I'm hungry again.

Cook:  [Frowns.] But I spent five dollars to get here...

E:  Well you've got twelve dollars in your hand there, and that's for doing hardly nothing.

Cook:  How about I make a few things, and freeze them?

E:  No, I don't like to freeze things - it's unhealthy. Just come back when I call you, thank you.

Cook:  [Swallows her rage.] Very well? you'll call me soon though.

E:  [Smiles.] As soon as I get a hint of hunger.

Cook:  Very well... [Leaves.]

E:  [Grimaces, and then goes to see what she has made. In the kitchen he scans a meal of fried eggs, flap jacks with syrup, cookies, and meat balls. E picks up a cookie, nibbles, and then goes upstairs to make a few calls.]
 

       [Three weeks later E's new single is released, and he is forced into a gruelling schedule of performances. He travels to each state to perform at various venues. He sings a song titled, "Back To Us Again" so many times that he gets physically nauseous. After a performance at a charity event E bows, gets off the stage, and then runs to the toilet to throw up.]

E:  [E finishes, wipes his face off, and puts the lid down.] Damn it man? these songs are going to be the end of me.

[A knock is heard - it's one of the back up vocalists, [Timothy], which his manager chose to support his act. E turns his head.]

E:  This cube is being used!

Timothy I know E, I was just wondering if you wanted something.

E:  No?wait! Maybe some aspirin, and a bottle of water or some rhubarb tea.

Timothy Okay? I'll be back soon.

E:  Thanks. [E tuns a hand over his face, and sighs.] Phew?


       [E's single is brought, much to E's surprise. The movie is released, and is an instant hit, despite the fact that it is regarded as, 'cornball trash' by the harshest of critics.

E gets a huge sum of money, and purchases more cars, more household items, and even finds a few new friends while making his purchases. E gets his cook to move in to the back house so that she doesn't have to spend five dollars on the bus every time he gets some cravings. The move is a hit with the cook, but a disaster for E who can't stop himself from touching the freshly made foods. He puts on some weight, and everyone around him starts to give him the weary eye as his popular appeal shrinks. 

The manager gets a record deal. He invites E to a studio, and gapes when he sees him approach.]

Manager E? what has happened?

E:  What?

Manager You're? you're?

E:  Handsome?

Manager Blown up! Have you been doing drugs again?

E:  No?

Manager [Rolls his eyes.]

E:  I haven't! But look, I can sing as good as ever... [Sings a note.] That's what we're here to do isn't it? To sing?

Manager Yes, but you have to look the part as well.

E:  Look the part? Are you saying I look different?

Manager Yes!

E:  Well we've done it before when my weight has climbed up - what's changed?

Manager The studio wants to see freshman E, back from the army. The title of your next movie is going to be, "We'll Drive My Tank Home." Do you know what that means? It's an army movie! You need to look like a soldier!

E:  Well, it's not all gone - I still have my muscles? [Flexes a biceps.]
 
Manager But you don't look like you can run a block, let alone five miles!

E:  I think you've gotta cool down paps - it's not that bad?

Manager Yes it is! You have to look like a soldier!

E:  I'll work out a bit.

Manager [Slaps his face.] I said you'd be ready in four weeks!

E:  [Wipes a hand over his cheek.] Hey paps, calm your veins down - I'm still me; everything is going to be just great! Now let's get this stupid corn-roll of songs over with!


      [To the manager's surprise, E does still get the part after running his weight down with some pills, which one of his band members swears to using in order to keep his father's beer gut off of him.]


      [At the filming site the staff grin when they see E - his clothes a little more snug then usual. The director stays calm despite acknowledging the weight difference, and directs the shots to be aimed a little more carefully in order to obtain continuously good shots. E pulls it off. The film is cut, and then posted as his new hit. His single plays in the beginning credits, and at the end - both songs are a public hit.]


      [E gets more money, and he has more parties. However one night during a party, he gets bored, and so he drives over to his dad's place - but his dad is not there; so he drives around to other places, and goes home when tired.]


      [E gets bookings for TV shows, but no live acts - despite the fact that the record sales have been quite good. 

The TV shows are unreal - the jests from on-stage crew grow harsher as knowledge about sales rise spread.] 

Alestair Hey kids, what about a song?

E:  I've got the perfect one...

Alestair That's great - but I've got a better one; [Goes on to use unclassified script, and yells at E.] Get lost!

Betty: That's a song?

Alestair No, but he's got to go before he upstages me...

Betty: [Looks to E.] You mind?

E:  [Bites his lip, and then hesitantly ambles off stage.]

Audience [Claps.]

E:  [In the wings, talking to a stage hand.] What's going on?

Stage Hand  [Shrugs.] I don't know...

Betty: [Sings along with Alestair.]

E:  Did they want me here or not? [Looks around.] 

Betty: That was fun! Now let's hear what the visiting Hick has in his hog-breathed throat! E?!

E:  [Stands there fuming on the spot.]

Betty: [To Audience.] He's shy! [Goes to the wings, and grabs E's hand.] Here he is!

E:  [Gets pulled to centre stage, and suffers through a light applause.] Well, here's... "Take Me Along With You." 

Betty: You sure? [Hops on a bike, with a cart at the back.] Okay, hop in!

E:  But the song...

Alestair Well you asked...

E:  [Hesitates, and then hops in the wagon.]

Betty: Goodnight everybody! [Waves as the band moves into action.]

Alestair [Starts the song, and urges E to follow.]

E:  [Sings.] There's nothing I'd rather do, so take me along with you...

Betty: Bye, everybody!


      [E gets into another corn-ball movie, and another - his sales rise. He releases more singles, and fewer albums - his sales rise. He gets into magazines regularly, payment for his image shots are raised - however, no bookings for concerts come.]


      E:  [Sits in his room one morning - looking at the ceiling, and feeling like crap as he downs some more pills.] I gotta have a break - these little bastards are running me down to the curb! [Picks up the phone, and phones the manager.] Hey.

Manager Hey E? I've got a new movie planned it's called, "Frills of Trouble." It's about a guy who meets all these girls, and can't decide on one, and he?

E:  That's great, but I was thinking about doing something like take a holiday.

Manager: It's located on a resort - you can pretend it's vacation. 

E:  No I mean it, I feel worn to the nub.

Manager Then we'll do this movie, and I'll give you a week off.

E:  I don't want a week - I want a month! I wake up shaking Pa, my nerves are tense!

Manager Then grab a drink, and take it easy.

E:  I can't! It doesn't work! I need something else!

Manager [Rolls his eyes.] Is this about you wanting a family again?

E:  No! [Thinks.] Well? maybe. I gotta have one sometime - it might cheer me up! I don't like strangers being ordered over to fill up space, I want a more personalised space; [Pauses.] But first I want a holiday - a real one!

Manager You'll get one when the time is right?

E:  Well it would be perfect right now!

Manager E, you used to do shows for months, and travel for weeks in-between shows - you're not that busy most of the time right now; I don't know how you can say you need a holiday, when you're already relaxing your heels.

E:  I don't know, I just do. I'm older, and it's getting hard!

Manger   I just think you're not busy enough. I've posted the script, you'll get it by tomorrow. You've got two weeks to learn it.

E:  I don't want to learn it!

Manager E?don't be stupid - it's a hit!

E:  Just like the others?

Manager Of course.

E:  Well I hated the others! I hate all of them!

Manager The public likes them?

E:  Well, the public can go drink from a toilet! I say these shows ain't no good!

Manager And I say if it sells it's worth the effort - so just do your job so we all get paid, and stay happy.

E:  Get paid? Stay happy? Is cash flow all you think makes a person happy?

Manager Of course.

E:  Well it ain't! 

Manager E, rest - take it easy. Stay calm, spend two weeks reading the script, and pretend you're on holiday. Take a swim in a pool, take a walk around your lawn, then do the film?

E:  I don't want to do the film! It's trash!

Manager Just do it E!

E:  No! 

Manager I'll see you at the Island Hotel in two weeks. [Hangs up the phone.]

E:  [E pulls out the phone cord, throws the phone against a mirror, and shatters it.] I don't have to do a movie! I don't have to do nothing! [Opens the door, and storms out.]

[E storms down the stairs, and goes to tell his new friends that he's going to leave the state for a while, when he stops dead in his tracks to inspect his friends sitting in a circle at the bottom of the staircase.]

E:  Hey, what are you guys doing? 

Bobby: Having the time of our lives.

E:  You're just sitting there.

Bobby: No, we're gazing into our aura's. [Takes out a pill box, and shakes it.] What to try?

Ivonne: Do it - you're energy is charred. 

E:  [Smiles at Ivonne.] Who are you?

Bobby: My soon to be soul mate.

E:  What do you mean soon to be?

Bobby: When the time is right, we'll connect, and be soul mates. 

E:  Soul?

Timothy [Smokes in a corner over a magazine.] I call it fairy headed crap.

Ivonne: [Scowls at Timothy.] You're just resisting.

Timothy I'm resisting blowing my mind up on those sweet sticks you got in that box there. [To E.] If you value your musical talent E, I'd stay away from them.

E:  There ain't no talent in what I'm doing Timothy - maybe these sweet sticks are just what I need. [Goes to Bobby, takes an item out of the box, puts it in his mouth, and swallows.]

[E gets a boost from the pill - this gives him a better singing voice, and the urge to sing deeper songs. E gets Timothy to change his mind about not taking a pill - and when its discovered that the pill also gives Timothy a stronger voice, they get a few more singers together, and sing deep songs for the next two weeks while high on the sweet sticks.]


      [On site of the next film.]

[Manager sees E ambling along with a bag slung over his shoulder. He's dressed in an army suit to emphasise the part that he is going to play - this causes a couple of girls to giggle, and blush behind their hands.]

Manager E!

E:  Hey Pa, how am I looking? Am I all right? Do I have the right shaped ass? [Turns around.]

Manager [Laughs.] E? you look like half a million dollars!

E:  Half a million? I'd rather a billion dollars!

Manager [Laughs.]

E:  Great site - I hope I get to catch some of those waves over there! [Points at the perfect ocean, which breaks on the white shore-line.]

Manager No, there won't be time - we've got a deadline of three months; you'll be shooting night, day, weekends...

E:  [Gasps.] What?

Manager It's just three months E - put up a calendar, and count off the days.

E:  [Grimaces.] We'll I guess it can't kill me right?


[By that afternoon E gets pushed to start a scene. He gets dressed up, and goes to wait on the cast chairs. E watches as the director yells for cuts, and emphasises for action. He watches as the actors roll their eyes, and blink back tears under the stress of having to act and remember lines.]

Director02  Where's my soldier?

E:  [Looks around - there's no one around him, so he stands.] I think that's me!

Director02  You? [Looks at him.] Yes, I suppose you must be my soldier. Get on the set, and act scene twenty-four.

E:  Don't I get a script, or something?

Director02  Why would you need a script? Haven't you learned your lines?

E:  Of course, I just like to reassure I've got the right start.

Director02  You walk into a beach-side bar. You order a drink. Got it?

E:  [Nods.] I think so?

Director02  Great! Places please!

E:  [Holds his breath a few times, and then releases it.]

Director02  Action!

E:  [Walks on the stage set - looks around with some apprehension, and then walks to the bar.] Hey, you got anything without coconut juice?

Director02  Cut!

E:  [Jumps.]

Director02  [To E.] You have to speak loud, and clear.

E:  Okay sir.

Director02  Places please!

E:  [Goes into his place. He starts to get nervous - his hands sweat, and his fingertips shake.]

Director02  Action!

E:  [E walks on the stage set, looks around with some apprehension, and then walks to the bar.] Hey, you got anything without coconut juice?

Director02  Cut!

E:  [Jumps.]

Director02  [To E.] E you have to speak loudly...loudly.

E:  [Nods.] Yes sir.

Director02  Like in the army - it's loud, everything is loud!

E:  [Nods and feels some sweat dribble into his eyes. He moves to rub, but changes his mind when he hears the word 'action' come from the director.]

Director Action!

E [E walks on the stage set - looks around with some apprehension, and then walks to the bar.] Hey, you got anything without coconut juice?

Barman   Everything on this island has coconut juice. 

E:  Well then give me the drink with the least.

Barman   [Smiles.] You got it.

E:  [Waits.]

[A sexy lady comes up to the bar, and sprays her perfume over her neck. E coughs, and swipes the fragrance away.]

E:  What are you trying to do? Kill the whole platoon?

Woman/Vickie What platoon? 

E:  Figure of speech.

Woman/Vickie [Smiles.] What's your name?

E:  Sergeant J. Alistair.

Woman/Vickie Sergeant? How impressive!

E:  [Nods.]

Director02  Cut! [Storms up to the bar.] Where's the bar man? On vacation? It takes five seconds for a customer to get served! You! Vickie! Make it look like your interested! You E - for goodness sake open up your mouth, and show a little expression please! FROM THE TOP!

E:  [Rolls his eyes.]

Vickie: Don't worry - he always does this; it's always for the best results. I know, I've worked with him before. [Walks off.]

[E takes a breath, and starts again - the shooting continues.] 


[E gets yelled at constantly about things ranging from posture and voice, to attitude and expression, to position and stance. E becomes exasperated, and gets more withdrawn as the movie continues. E takes medicine, and becomes more, and more pale. The make-up artists have to put on fake tan to make him more outdoors like. He feels horrible, and by the end of the shooting he feels like his brain is about to explode from shot nerves.]

Director02  That's a wrap! [Looks to E.] Someone get Mr Woozy a chair - I think he's going to faint! [Looks again.] Get a spritzer! [Looks to E again.] Hurry! 

[Director walks up to E, who gets ushered on a chair, and sits trembling. He smiles as he lights a cigar, and speaks while puffing smoke into E's face.] 

Director Congratulations, you've finished your first star quality movie. 

E:  [Coughs.]

Director02  Come to deck E for an on set party at five pm - then pack your bags at eight pm, and catch a train back to that town you're from.

E:  I will, thank you sir.


       [E actions through the party - then with a heavy load on his shoulders, he packs his bag, and takes the last train of the afternoon home with his complimentary ticket.] 

[E sits in the train, and stares out the window sullenly - he watches forms on the landscape turn into shadow. It's dark by the time he gets home.] 


      [Instead of making it to his mansion, E stops at a run-down hotel, close to the train stop. It's worse then the last one - the third floor is a little grimy, and stinks of cheap perfume.] 

[ I n the hotel room E lands on the bed, then picks up the phone, and orders room service.]

E:  Hey I want some burgers, and deep-fried curls.

Reception01 I'm sorry sir - only desert is available at these hours.

E:  You've got to be kidding me!

Reception01 No sir.

E:  Okay, how about this? Bread, cheese, cake, and pudding. Sliced meat too - gotta have that. I'll even take a loaf of bread if you can't find a
 knife to cut it.

Reception01 [Smiles amused.] I'll see what I can do.

E:  Thank you. [He puts down the phone.] 

[E waits, and listens to the silence. He sees cracks in the ceiling above.]

E:  Well at least the price is worth the location. 

[Soon the room service attendant comes with his food. E lets the person in.]

Room Attendant01  We only had half a loaf of bread - it's sliced, and a few pieces of cheese have been added. I also added some salad garnish, and a breast of chicken. There was no pudding, so I brought custard. There was only one thin slice of teacake, so I added a few styles of biscuit to go with it. Is there anything else?

E:  No thanks hon, you've done enough.

Room Attendant01  [Smiles, and blushes.] You know you look like that actor, singer? E?

E:  [Smiles, and picks up a piece of bread.] That's cause I am that person.

Room Attendant01  You? No. Really? [Gushes.] I am the biggest fan!

 E: [Smiles.] Really? Well then I'll have to sign something for you. [E takes out his train ticket, and a pen - and signs the pen.] Here, merchandise - I used this ticket to get home from a movie studio. 

Room Attendant01  [Gasps.] Wow! [Snatches it before E changes his mind.] I'll keep this forever. Wow! 

E:  Don't faint now...

Room Attendant01  Oh I wont! But? here? [Stands on her toes, and gives E a quick peck on the lips.] Just something to remember me by.

E:  [Smiles.] I'm sure it'll last longer then my money...

Room Attendant01  Oh, I'm sure that's not true! 

E:  [Smiles.]

Room Attendant01  Well I've got to go - thank you! I'll buy everything you sell! You'll never run out of money! [Turns, and exits.]

E:  [Smiles, bites into some bread, and goes to lay down.]


       [In the morning E gets up, shoulders his pack, and moves to the door. Outside a small mob of young teenagers greet him with cards in hand - they are all waiting for autographs.]

Girl01: E! E! Sign this for me?

Girl02: And me!

Girl03: And me! Make sure you sign for me!

E:  [Smiles, wearily takes a pen, and scribbles autographs for everyone.] Well I have to go now... [Girls moan.] Hey, who's pen was this?

[A hand shoots up at the back of the mob.]

Girl02: Mine!

E:  Hey there - catch! [Throws the pen.]

[All the girls scream, and scramble for it.]

Girl02: It's mine!

E:  [Smiles, and walks away.] 


      [E gets home, and phones up his manager.]

Manager Hello?

E:  Hey, thanks for picking me up at the train station!

Manager I never arranged to meet you there...

E:  Well you should have - I was mobbed by a gang of ten girls.

Manager [Laughs.]

E:  Gotta have protection now days...

Manager I'll keep that in mind. You got out unscathed?

E:  Well yes - they were more interested in autographs then anything else, this time...

Manager Well I'll try hard to escape a next time. [Sparks up.] Hey E, I've got great news! It's a new script! You play a serious star...

E:  Oh no!

Manager Listen E? you're out in the desert, fighting for a great cause - to save your family. 

E:  Like in a war?

Manager No! Like those classic cowboys.

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] Come on, nobody will watch a cowboy flick - their rein is over!

Manager It'll polish the end of an era - just think?E?in the last cowboy movie ever!

E:  [Thinks.] No! I want to relax - I want to rest!

Manager It's worth one million dollars...

E:  So?

Manager E, don't be juvenile.

E:  I'm not being juvenile! I just came back from a shoot!

Manager And you'll be at the next one! One million is no blow over!

E:  [Sighs.] Near the desert? 

Manager It's just shooting, and hollering - you can do that just fine...

E:  Yeah? but?

Manager I'll send you the script - two weeks and you're on set. Thanks E! [Hangs up.]

E:  [Drops the phone, then heatedly paces to the bathroom, and takes a few pills. E looks at himself in the mirror and sees that he has a stubble, his eyes have bags, and that his iris's are wide.] You got a heavy pack on your shoulders old boy... [E shakes his head, and runs water over his face.]


       [Two weeks later E arrives near the desert border for the movie shoots. He grimly looks around. There's a country/western set, a patch of brown-grassed hill in the distance, ans a couple of dusted caravans. He drops his bag on the sand, and turns around in order to search for life - he finds the lot empty.] 

E:  [E looks at a letter, and reads the directions.] Well it says to meet here... [E looks at a caravan.] Well maybe it means over there. 


[E picks up his bag, and goes to a caravan door. He knocks - nothing happens. E tries the door - it opens, and he goes inside. 

       Inside he sees there's a neat space, that has been left untouched. He drops his bag on the floor, then drops to the bed, and dozes off the heat. When E wakes the director, and a cast member [Carry], are staring down on him.]

Director03  He wakes.

Carry: [Laughs.]

E:  Who are you?

Director03  I'm your evil director - this is Carry your co-star. 

E:  Oh? Hey? [E waves to Carry, and then sits up.] What's going on?

Director03  Oh nothing, aside from the fact that you're in the wrong caravan. Carry had a fit when she found you here - but then I explained who you were and? well, let's say it's lucky your clothes are still on huh? [Helps E up.]

E:  [E glances at Carry baffled.] 

Carry: [Smiles, and winks.]

Director03  [Picks up E's bag.] Come, I'll give you a proper tour.

E:  [Rubs his head, and glances around.] It was nice to meet you Carry? [E stumbles into the director who has paused to open the door.] Oh, sorry...

Director03  [Sharply.] Quite all right.

Carry: [Waves.] It was a charm I'm sure...

Director03  [Shows E to his caravan - it's a little dirtier then the last one. Director03 picks up a beer can on a bench, and guzzles.] [Director turns to E.] So this is it - your home for the next six months.

E:  Six?! I thought this was a short shooting movie.

Director03  I always like to broaden the time allowance to make sure my job isn't rushed...

E:  [Nods, while feeling sour.]

Director03  Hey cheer up - you get to shoot pistols, kiss pretty girls, drink lots of beer? it's not all bad.

E:  [Smiles.]

Director03  That's the spirit! Now, let me show you the set!

E:  [Nods, and follows the director out.]


      [During the tour the director seems kind, happy, and easy going. E takes a shine to him, and gets himself to believe that this movie isn't going to be like the last one - it was going to be different, and fun! However, his feelings of trust and comfort become destroyed when they start shooting the movie. 

E reads the scripts, and then gets ordered to raise his voice, until he's practically shouting out every single word. His voice becomes sore, and more raw as the days pass on. Then come the stunts, and the fighting scenes - it comes as a shock to E when he realises the punches are delivered right to the face and body for real. 

He gets beaten until bruised on the first quarrel in the script. E gets worried about the violence, and starts to loose confidence. On the next round of fighting, he manages to score a good punch to a guy's stomach - but then another guy attacks him, and fights him to the ground. The director yells to E that he has to start winning the fights to be the hero of the movie. E becomes more depressed - but struggles hard, and finally manages to win a fight, by throwing a guy head first into a wooden pole. The character hits his head, and then runs away with a hand over his eye. Carry comes out and places a soft hand, on E's shoulder as he stands steaming in his boots.]

Carry: Do you think they're gone for good this time?

E:  [Hoarsely yelling.] WHO KNOWS! BUT I TELL YOU ONE THING - IF THEY COME BACK I'LL BE SITTING BY THE WINDOW READY WITH MY PISTOLS IN MY HANDS!

Carry: [Smiles, and gets E to stop looking at the distance by turning his face towards her.] My gun twirlin, cowboy hero... I love you Lance. [She kisses him.]

E:  [Gets a little surprised because there's no kiss cue - but kisses back enjoying the sensation.]

[The kiss ends - E is a little loss for words, but he smiles, and holds her, as the sun sets around them. [A strong blaze illuminates the sky.]]

 E: [Shouts.] I love you too Betty Sue - Ain't nothing ever gonna come between us!

Director03  [Shouts.] Cut! [He approaches the set.] Excellent! E! You've really risen from the ashes! Go to bed you two, and wake up by four am for the next stage of shooting.

[E and Carry nod - then separate from each other and wearily head into their separate caravans.]


       [More shots are shot - E almost gets knocked off his horse, he gets a strained shoulder, and he gets cut hands and knees from crawling on broken glass. He does the most exhausting work, and then finally he finishes after he knocks his last enemy into the river which, 'carries him under forever'.

Then it is over. The crew drink, and party on set - Carry kisses E quite a bit more as a few photographs are taken. The director gives E a very pretty gun as prize for doing so well. Then everyone is sent home.]


      [At home E plays with the gun, as his adrenaline about the shoot lingers inside of his blood. He twirls it round, and around. [It has no bullets so he can't fire anything.] He stays indoors to try to get the tan off his skin. His friends drop by - they all get high, and sing for forty eight hours; then they all fall asleep huddled together in a small room.]


      [The manager calls E.]

Manager Hey E.

E:  Hey Pa!

Manager How are things?

E:  Great! I've never felt so alive! 

Manager I heard your shots did well in the movie... 

E:  That's great Pa!

Manager Everyone's very excited.

E:  So they should - it's the best movie I've done yet.

Manager Listen, there's demand for a tour for you. A singing tour to remind the world that you are a singer, not an actor.

E:  I'm both.

Manager But you haven't sung in a long while - not live anyhow...

E:  I thought there
 was no demand for it...

Manager I've got a fresh load of songs for you - we want to test them. They were sent to me, and I've read through them - they're powerful songs. Mature. The director put a good word in for you to get you into a more mature market. You can tour with the new songs on list. 

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] How long is the tour? A week?

Manager Three months.

E:  Aww Pa?

Manager You'll be televised singing live at each venue. It'll be a great stage act performing in different locations, off shore as well as on. Just belt out a few songs, and pretend you're on holiday E - this deal is worth the effort. You have to do this.

E:  Well, I guess it's best to do it while I'm looking my best - I'm so fit you could break a hand on my stomach; that movie was better then army training!

Manager [Laughs.] Come into the studio tomorrow, and we'll get to work.

E:  All right Pa. [Puts down the phone, twirls his gun around, and walks to his party room to get a stash of party pills for travel.]


       [At the studio.]

Manager E!

E:  Hey?

Manager Boy, you weren't joking when you said that they kept you in shape! I don't know about the tan lotion though - it might be a little too?

E:  [Butts in.] It ain't lotion, it's just natural.

Manager You mean you turn that colour naturally?

E:  You wouldn't have guessed it huh? But this is what happens when I get inside the desert...

Manager [Whistles.] Oh boy;

Jake:  Is this my star?

E:  Hello sir.

Jake:  Call me Jake.

E:  All right.

Jake:  E, I've got a great line up for you - come over to the booth, and let me introduce you to it.

Manager [Smiles, and goes to the viewing booth.]

[E gets shown through the songs. He is impressed, but doesn't go on to say it. He tries some songs, and his matured voice picks up the sound expertly. E gets everyone in the studio impressed as he goes through each song. The tunes cut perfectly. It takes less then five hours to record the songs.]

Manager Here is a premature cheque E.... [He flags the item in front of E's sweat shined face.]

E:  Why the charity Pa?

Manager You deserve it - take it home and spend it. You did well - you're marked out for great success. [Pats him on the shoulder, and then hops into a car.]

E:  [Smiles, and pockets the cheque.] Only takes a pill a day... [He pops a pill inside of his mouth, and moves to his own car.]


      [E's bookings fill up, and his schedule is changed to six months of intense touring. E gulps when he sees the venue list, and feels almost weak when he sees the times and dates of the tour. He doesn't think about anything - the manager gets his bags packed for him, and ushers him to a private plane in order to get him moving. From there it's a fast lane of shows, that are filled with lights, glitter, and song.]


       [E takes to the first show well - he looks good and feels great, and somewhere in between show and plane he gets interview spots, while being mobbed by walls of fans. He smiles through it all. Then is swept to the next venue. 

At the next venue E stands on the stage proud, and is filled with awe at the crowd levels. He gets thrown flowers of all kinds, and given great applause. He feels like a god as he stands under the hot lights, sweltering, and dripping with sweat, while puffing out his breath and murmuring 'thankyou's'. 

E is taken to the next venue, and the next - his voice is flawless, his show is spectacular, the energy is intense. He does two shows in a day, and then at the next venue he sings through the night as well. He sweats, sings, and gets taken through mobs of people as cameras flash, and film cameras film. E smiles through it all, as he is bumped through the crowd, and ushered to the waiting car. 

Then comes the next venue. E is getting ready, and has taken a pill for his voice, when something happens - he gets some sort of feeling inside which he doesn't like. E ignores it, takes a drink and hops in stage to do his show. He sings - the audience screams. E's band members get cocky, and throw in some strips of their own music which E smiles through with a jaw of grit as he tries to keep up with what they're playing. The audience to applaud them, then E sings, and they applaud him. The energy is intense.

E gets to do a small studio spot for a semi - private performance. He keeps his voice low, but it still fills out the room - the crowd stirs, screams, and then mobs him. E gets taken out with help from security.

While on tour E sits in a room one morning, talking to his band members.

E:  It's one rough show schedule, huh guys?

Band Member 01 Finding it hard to keep up?

E:  No, it's just a noticeable observation...

Band Member 02 Cause we've been using a little help... [Shows him a vial of pills.] Want one?

Band Member 01  It'll get you off those party pills you've been shoving inside your gut during tour.

E:  What'll it do?

Band Member 02 Improve everything...

E:  Everything?

Band Member 02 Everything!

E:  [Gulps and hesitantly reaches for one.] Hope you're right... [He pops it inside his mouth. Something happens - his face begins to get a little bloated.]

Manager [Comes into the room.] Guys, you're on! Get moving! [Looks to E.] E, move it!

E:  [Nods, and gets up.] 

[E hops on stage and does his show - the audience is wild for him.]


      [E goes to the next place, and mucks around with a few new pills since one of the members has noticed that he has put on weight. He takes the pills, and then goes on stage and does another good show. The news is crazy about him - the crowds ecstatic. 

E does another venue, and notices his clothes are becoming tighter. He takes double doses of weight loss pills, and a few doses of a new ones. His body becomes extra thin, and his face becomes extra bloated for a few days. The crowd applause his singing, and news columns gossip about his weight. 

E starts to get pressure from his manager, and gets a few new pills to try. He takes them - his stomach breaks barriers, and swells up. The manager goes haywire, and they have to buy a new outfit for his tour. E's voice starts to get affected, and his performance drops after four months. 

E sweats extra hard through performances, and then gets more sulky backstage as the crowd looses their supreme loyalty. The manager warns E that he's loosing the crowd, and is being picked up by the bad press. He pressures him again to loose weight, and to take double doses. E takes triple doses, twice a day - the result is a catastrophe. His face grows blotches and pimples, his body swells in girth, and his perspiration levels increase drastically. His voice breaks its form and goes off key, as his mind becomes affected by the drugs rushing around his body. He starts to battle through shows. He looses confidence. The manager pressures him to stay clean while offering new diet pills -  but by the fifth month no amount of pressure can help him. E's voice is sinking, his spirits are sinking, and his looks aren't looking healthy at all. He wants to clean up, but the manager tackles him through the final month to keep his weight low, and so he takes more pills until heart murmurs are racing inside of his body.] 


      [At the last show E gets invited to a press conference who bite him with questions.]

Press01 E! Have you finished your tour? Or are there still bookings?

E:  [Gasping through his breathing.] Yes, I've finished - I sung my final song of the tour tonight.

Press02 Are there movies parts planned for you E?

E:  No, not as yet - the next thing planned is vacation. [He throws a sour glance at his manager, who stands idle by the side.]

Press03 What about marriage E? Have you found anyone special?

E:  [Sours.] Not as yet - no. 

Press03 But you plan to marry?

E:  [E rubs his hair off his brow, and realised his palms are sweaty.] As soon as I can get my hands on a willing girl, whose fit for me.

Press04 What kind of girl would that be?

E:  [Rolls his eyes, and sighs.] I don't know! [He blinks, and then adds.] Someone good, loyal, kind, fertile?

[Press laugh.]

Press01 When can fans expect the next album to be released?

E:  [Gasps, and then breathes through his next answer.] As soon as the demand picks up.

Press02 Are there new albums planned E?

E:  [Blinks as he sees a vision of an unreal spiritual sign, [a flicker of light], near the Press02.] Not as yet... [The spiritual illusion fades.]

Press02 Gossip is that your last shows have been poor compared to your earlier shows. What have you got to say about that?

E:  [Sighs out his relief, over being able to blink away his vision.] Every show is different. [Sighs.] You can't predict how it's going to be. When it's good - it's good; when it's bad? [Takes a second to gasp, and draw in a deep breath.] well, you try not to get those you know.

Press02 [Narrows his eyes.] Are you on drugs E?

E:  [Feels his body grow cold, and his insides kick in guilt at knowing he is loaded with all types of pills.] No...

Press01 When are you going to bring out merchandise?

E:  Well there has been shirts? [Felts his heart beat murmur close to halt, and gasps.]

Press01 I'm talking more then that - calenders, cars, watches, toys, plates, shoes, socks?

Manager [Approaches the stage.] That's enough questions - thanks for coming everyone!

E:  [Sighs, and murmurs.] Thank you folks. [E stands up, and leaves with the manager.]


[E and the manager walk to a car, and sit inside].

E:  [Lights pants as he talks.] So why did you cut off the interview like that?

Manager Some questions are best left alone - besides the press was boring me... 

E:  [Smiles.]

Manager You look like crap.

E:  [Drops his smile.] Well it's been tough...

Manager I know, but that's no excuse - your band members had to sing and play, and they look fine.

E:  Did you see their eyes Pa?

Manager Well at least they don't bloat themselves up, and turn ghost white after they've bronzed to
 a deep brown.

E:  [Gets annoyed.] What can I say? I'm sorry about how I look?

Manager That would be a start.

E:  Well I'm not - God gave me all?

Manager God; don't talk to me about him - you don't ever go to church.

E:  It's an open faith.

Manager It's an open scandal that's what it is. Don't screw up your career for some highs.

E:  I'm not?

Manager [Butts in.] Cann it if you can't talk anything by crap to me E.

E:  I'm not?

Manager [Butts in.] I deserve better then become sullied with lies.

E:  I'm not?

Manager [Puts up his hand.] Enough!

E:  [Frowns, and sulks.]

[Silence fills the car.]

E:  [Finally explodes.] I just took us through a six month tour - the least thing that you can be is grateful you old son of a bitch!

[Manager looks stunned, and then refuses to look at E for the whole trip back home.]


[E gets home, storms to his room, and looks into the bathroom mirror.]

E:  Fat! Huh! I'm not? [Looks into the mirror and sees he is bloated, and that his face looks like death.] Well? [E gulps, and then gets angry]. So what?! I'm still me! I can take all of the pills I want! [He takes a few different kinds for show.]


      [E gets high - he invites his friends over, and together they try to sing; but all their voices fail, and so they just get more stoned to pass the time. E trips over a plant pot, and breaks a statue during the party - everyone laughs; they don't see E's arm is bleeding from hitting fragments of broken porcelain. E laughs, and ignores his wound.

As days pass E gets more stoned, and they all get more bloated - even Timothy gets a stomach swell. They all laugh, and try to bump bellies to show who is the strongest - they get bruises everywhere.]


      [After a month E gets a call from his manager.]

Manager Hey E.

E:  Hey you? how's the old man?

Manager [Pauses.] You sound different...

E:  I sound the same to me...

Manager Are you stoned?

E:  Me? No.

Manager You are? have you put on weight?

E:  [Looks at himself and lies.] No more then usual. 

Manager Well good. I've got a new movie part - it's a short musical; you up for it?

E:  [Smiles.] I'm up for anything - you know that...

Manager Well, it's shot locally - it's a love show about a boy, and a girl. The boy is a bit rough - the girl is a sweet one, destined to marry. The boy gets sweet on her, and makes sure he is her heart. It's corny, and the songs are worse then nursery rhymes. 

E:  But I play a rough boy?

Manager Sure - you even get into a couple of fights.

E:  Then what's the problem?

Manager [Smiles.] I'm glad you're so open to it. I'll send you the script, and I'll meet you in two weeks.


      [Two weeks later E meets the manager at the sight of the filming. People who are around gasp at his appearance - the manager is appalled.]

Manager E!

[That's the only word the manager gets out, before the director sees him.]

Director04  Oh my! What kind of wreck is this?

E:  Your star...

Director04  Wardrobe! Wardrobe! We need wardrobe!

Manager [Scowls, and puts a cigar inside his mouth before his words come out.]

E:  What is it?

Manager [Says nothing, and smokes.]

E:  Oh I know what you're thinking - but so what?! The director has no problem with me! He's already gone for wardrobe! It's all in your head Mac! It's all a mental thing! I've still got me!

Director04  [Comes up to E.] Come with me. [Shakes his head, and turns.]

E:  [To the manager.] See you in a few months!


      [The shooting is catastrophic. The Director makes E pay for his new look - he cuts, he screams, he criticises, and then he exaggerates. He gossips, and puts E under the greatest of strains. He taunts E in front of everyone - all around giggle. He makes E kiss a girl, and then pays her ten dollars for the favour. E gets embarrassed, he gets hot, and he gets cold. He gets more bloated as he forces more pills inside to try to balance his look - the director decides to have fun with this new catastrophe, and makes him wear an extra small T-shirt during filming. The director make superb stomach bounce cuts, and then gets E to re-do the movement several times. 

At the end of shoot party, the director makes a big deal about the movie being E's most memorable performance yet. [[At the opening of the movie the audience gets to know why - the angles are terrible, he looks badly bloated, and his performance is not strong.]]


      [E shrugs off the movie, he shrugs off the bad press, and he shrugs of the manager as he parties with friends at his house.]

[The bad press swamp E. His manager gets vexed about it as their headlines swamp the papers, and magazines. He gets lower deals for E - one being fifty dollars for a movie. The manager decides to put an end to the bad press by releasing a new news bulletin.]

Manager [Picks up the phone, and rings a newspaper office.] Hi, I'd like to speak to the editor in chief - this is some fresh gossip from E's manager.

[A hum starts to swell, and soon the Editor is on the phone.]

Editor: What's the scoop?

Manager E is going to be married - he's picking up his bride this afternoon. 

Editor: Your joking! That flubber-ball?

Manager The most famous flubber-ball in the state! He has a six hundred thousand dollar house. You know that?

Editor: Hmmms. [Clicks his fingers for a pen.] So what's the name of this sweetheart?

Manager Evelyn Rose Heart.

Editor: [Laughs.] This is a prank call isn't it?

Manager Just you be at the airport at seven pm tonight.

Editor: I'll be there.

Manager Good. [Hangs up the phone. He sighs, and then calls up E.]

E:  Yeah?

Manager Hey you! Get your ass off your lounge - your wife is coming over. 

E:  My what?

Manager I ordered you a bride. 

E:  What?

Manager Just you be at the airport by seven tonight with flowers in hand. 

E:  You're kidding!

Manager You're going to be single no more E.


      [E goes to the airport - fans scream, photographers pop flashes in E's face until he gets dizzy. He squeezes through security, and walks onto the airport base. The air-plane has landed, and is waiting for his arrival before they open the door. E walks through a gate, and waits. The door opens, and luggage is taken out as people begin to exit. The wait is long - cameras flash on all sides to catch every movement. Then finally, at last, his bride comes out dressed appropriately with a purse with E's face on it in her right hand. E walks up to her, with flowers - she runs up to him, and gives him a hug. They kiss for the first time. E likes it, and keeps it - she waits for him to break it. He gives her the flowers, and walk away smiling, as cameras pop on all sides. It's official - E has a sweetheart.]


      [E has a good time showing Evelyn off to the public and to press. They attend a conference, and he makes up a stupid story about how they met. 

Reporter How did you meet E?

E:  Well, we were sitting at a movie set. Her eyes met mine, and something clicked - it was like perfect understanding. We couldn't take our eyes off each other for twenty minutes. Then I said hello, and that was all that needed to be said. [Squeezes Evelyn's hand.]

[Camera's flash.]

[The media eats it up, and prints it in exaggeration to make it the best love story in the world.]


[Evelyn gets shown around the mansion, and is pleased. She sleeps in E's bed, she eats with E, she shops with E, she gardens with E. His friends watch closely as the two parade around like a natural couple. Then E starts to get her high - she likes him even more, and they are soon married.]


      [E gets a new gig. He gets a good tour, and a movie contract. He tries to get Evelyn into the movie to be his sweetheart, but the movie studio rejects his idea. So E goes to do the movie alone. He kisses around nine girls in some nutty movie about young life, and fun. He has the time of his life, and even manages to loose some weight during the shoot. Everyone applauses his efforts as he regains health and vitality. E gets a big check, and a lot of signed bra's at the end of shoot party. E feels great again.]


      [E gets back home, and Evelyn demands a baby. E complies and they make love for the first time - he thinks it's great, she thinks she's had better.]


      [E gets a concert gig, and travels away for it. Evelyn becomes jealous as she is forced to endure pregnancy without E.]

[E does the concert - his voice is fair, and his performance is fair. His fans take it and leave, feeling like they only got a portion of his best.]

[The manager sweats as the news headlines E's slack performance with an overcritical view. The manager tells E to visit him at his house, before heading back to his house from tour.]

Manager [Opens the door to E and lets him in.] You read the newspapers lately?

E:  No.

Manager Well read it. [Gives him the newspaper.] 

E:  [Reads.]

Manager [Gets impatient as E reads slowly through the column, and snaps the paper away.] It says you sucked!

E:  Well, it's wasn't my strongest?

Manager It's all those drugs you've been choking up...

E:  For the last time sir, I haven't?

Manager That's not what Evelyn says!

E:  You've been talking to Evelyn?

Manager What do you think? She's more then just a wife E.

E:  [Stands stunned.] Are you saying that she was sent to spy on me?

Manager Spy, and tell - there's no way you'll ever be rid of her.

E:  But?

Manager You'll loose your talent, and that'll be it.

E:  You've been saying that since I started...

Manager There's no net in this case boy! If you drop from the height you're at, there won't be any more chances - you'll be nobody...

E:  That's not true.

Manager [Sighs.] Saying that? there's a new album to be cut... [Gives him an envelope.] Congratulations - you start in a week. Now get home. [Turns.]

E:  [Frowns.] What's there to mope about anyhow? 

Manager [Ignores E.]

E:  I can't do any better then what I do! [Silence.] I'm a singer, all I do is sing - that's all it is. If it's good, or if it's
 lousy - it's just me.

Manager [Turns, and looks at E.] Didn't you see the crowd in those specials? They were real! All through your career you've gotten support - it's all been real. That crowd isn't for just any singer - it's about time you realised that.

E:  [Frowns, shuts his mouth, and leaves.]


      [E gets home - the place is a pigsty; there is trash, and mouldy plates everywhere. He storms around the house picking up a few things on the way. He looks in all the rooms for Evelyn and his friends - no one is about. He goes to the kitchen - there is no cook around. He goes upstairs, and finds his clothes, and personal items laying about the room.] 

E:  What is this mess? 

[E goes into the bathroom to calm down with a pill, and finds the vials empty. He goes back down the stairs, and sourly sits in a foyer chair, and waits.]


      [Later that day Evelyn, Bobby, Timothy and a few others come back from a swim. They meet E's face when they come through the door.]

Evelyn: Hey there?[Smiles wide, and runs over to give him a wet hug.]

E:  [Clears his throat.] Evelyn.  

[Evelyn gives him a kiss.]

E:  The house?

Evelyn: Oh, there was some party going on last night - don't worry we'll clean it all up. Boys! Get these things off the floor!

[To E's surprise the group of guys she came in with start to clean.]

Evelyn: [Strokes E's forehead.] Everything will be cleaned up soon poopy baby. 

E:  [Smiles a little despite himself.] What happened to my room? Everything's?

Evelyn: Shhhh? [Kisses him, and feels a kick in her stomach.] Oh my?

E:  What is it?

Evelyn: [Puts a hand on her stomach.]

E:  What? [Puts his hand on her stomach.]

Evelyn: [Grabs his hand, and puts it in a different place.]

E:  Oh? can you feel that?

Evelyn: The little bundle of joy does that every day now?

E:  [Laughs, and feels another kick.]

Evelyn: [Feels the kicks stop.] I'm going to go and get a drink - do you want one?

E:  No, I'm going to clear a space upstairs, and get some sleep.

Evelyn: Okay, night, night sweetie. [Kisses E's forehead.]

[E goes upstairs, and Evelyn goes to the kitchen.]

Evelyn: [Takes out a liquor bottle from a drawer, and downs a heap of liquor with a few pills. She feels it hit her stomach, and feels better for it.]

Bobby: Drinking while pregnant?

Evelyn: [Turns to see Bobby.] What's it to you? Now get cleaning! This place is a pigs sty!

Bobby: [Laughs, and walks away.]


      [The next night E parties with the group of friends, and new people who Evelyn picked up. He downs a few new pills, and drinks with the rest of them. He goes to sleep alone, and wakes up with Evelyn by his side. E hardly chooses a minute of time in a day - the world is a circle of frenzy for a week.]


      [The Manager calls a week later.]

Bobby: [Picks up the phone.] Hello?

Manager Who is this?

Bobby: Who's talking?

Manager I want to talk to E.

Bobby: Honey, lots of people want to talk to E - but no one gets to. [Hangs up the phone.]

Manager [Looks at his phone startled. He then phones again.]

Bobby: Hello?

Manager Hey you good for nothing Hick! You hang up on me again, and I'll come over and beat you out of that house!

Bobby: Sweet words - write it in a poem next time, and try to get it published. [Hangs up.]

Manager [Gets red faced, and calls again.]

Bobby: Hello?

Manager Get E! I'm his manager!

Bobby: His manager eh?

Manager That's right.

Bobby: Find me a part in some movie, and I might get him for you.

Manager Are you kidding? This ain't no con! This is the real deal! I'm his manager - it's imperative I talk to E!

Bobby: It's imperative that I act in a movie.

Manager Oh forget it! When I get over there, I'm going to knock your socks off silly!

Bobby: Well I'm sure that will be impossible since this estate is armed by a patrol of armed forces...

Manager [Gasps.] What? What are you talking about?

Bobby: E's a superstar - you don't think they're left unprotected do you? [Relishes in telling his lies.] We've got security lining up all walls of this palace - so you can think all you want, but that still ain't gonna get you nowhere. [Hangs up.]

Manager [Slams down the phone.] Fine, I'll write him a letter - it'll delay the album for a few days, but it'll get done. Just a little money lost. [Manager writes a note, and posts it to E.]


       [Two days later.]

Timothy [Goes out to the front to retrieve E his mail. He opens the box, and finds the manager's letter. He opens it, and reads it on the way back in. He smiles at the statement that E is due for recording, and gets giddy over seeing the address.] Well I guess we'd better get E out of bed...

[Timothy goes inside, hurries up the stairs, and opens the door to E's room. E is asleep on the floor - Evelyn is on the bed.]

Timothy Why is E on the floor?

Evelyn: [Shrugs, and smiles]. He was sleeping, and just rolled on out...

Timothy [Inspects E, and tries to slap him awake.]

Evelyn: Don't bother - he's in a very happy place to be out so well...

Timothy He has some kind of recording to go to.

Evelyn: [Looks at Timothy wide eyed]. Recording?

Timothy He has to record in the studio.

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] So?

Timothy So we've got to wake him! [He leans down, gives E another slap, and then a pinch - nothing happens.] Come on old boy! You gotta get up!

Evelyn: Hey! I have an idea!

Timothy What?

Evelyn: Why don't we get an impersonator to go in for him? I've been trying out all the boys - some of them look just like him when dressed up in his clothes...

Timothy [Laughs.] You can't do that.

Evelyn: Why not? It'll be funny!

Timothy It won't work. 

Evelyn: Sure it will? I've got the song list right here. [Opens the drawer, and finds the envelope with the songs.]

Timothy Who the hell can remember an album of songs in a few hours?

Evelyn: Well Bobby's been reading them - why don't you ask him?

Timothy Why has Bobby been reading them?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Interest?

Timothy [Hits E again.] He'll be awake in a few hours - I'll get him to the studio then.

Evelyn: He doesn't know the words, he hasn't read them - send someone else, just once. It won't do any harm - it'll save his career.

Timothy [Shakes his head.] No.

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Just an idea.


      [Later E wakes up to find Timothy and Bobby staring down at him.]

E:  [Sits up.] Hey?

Timothy It's about time you got up - you forget something?

E:  [Puts a hand on his spinning head.] What?

Timothy You got a recording session.

E:  [Puts his head in his hands, and moans.] Yeah? I must have forgot about that...

Timothy It started two days ago.

E:  Hmmm?

Timothy What are you going to do?

E:  Well? [Laughs a little.] I don't know - what can I say? The lousy album was swept clear from my mind! It's all pink chalk anyhow - no one will miss it.

Evelyn: [From the bed.] That's a lousy ideal.

E:  Album sales haven't been that big anyhow - it's all been about the movie shows...

Timothy Your manager wants you to call him.

E:  [Laughs.] I'll bet - call me a few cussing names, and then blurt out my unsatisfactory performance when I go there. [Tries out his voice - it comes out hoarse.] I can't sing anyhow - tell him I got a cold.

[Timothy and Bobby look at each other, and then leave.]

Timothy [Phones the manager.]

Bobby: Don't, he'll yell at you...

Manager Hello? E?

Timothy No - this is Timothy.

Manager Timothy! Where's E? He's gotta be in the studio by five pm, or they're pulling the deal!

Timothy E can't today - he's errrr?

 Manager What do you mean he can't?

Timothy He's?uh?

Manager Look! Let me speak to E! 

Timothy He can't come to the phone right now...

Manager If you don't get him to come to the phone - there'll be no more bits for you in the road shows!

Timothy Don't be like that - he's just asleep right now.

Manager Well wake him up!

Timothy He won't get up - I've tried.

Manager Well try again!

Timothy But?

Bobby: [Grabs the phone off Timothy.] Hi, this is E's secretary.

Manager Secretary?

Bobby: What's the issue?

Manager The issue is E needs to be at the studio by five o'clock, or he's going to be fired from his deal.

Bobby: He'll be there. [Hangs up the phone.]

Manager [Is unsure whether or not to put down the phone - but does after a moment.] Good.

Timothy [To Bobby.] Are you crazy? He can't just remember lyrics at first read!

Bobby: I know! 

Timothy Well you'll have to phone the manager back!

Bobby: No!

Timothy E won't be there!

Bobby: [Thinks.]

Timothy The only way he can be there is if someone dresses up like him, and pulls it off for him! Who's going to do that huh?

Bobby: [Looks at Timothy, and smiles.]

Timothy [Frowns.]

Bobby: That may just be crazy enough to work! [Pinches Timothy's cheek.] You are devious! [Gives his face a slap, and goes upstairs in bounds.]

Timothy [Races up after him.]

[Bobby is already getting dressed by the time Timothy arrives. Evelyn is looking at him in amusement, while E rests unconscious on the floor.]

Evelyn: Those slacks are too big for you - try the ones in the back! No! On the other rack!

Bobby: Quit pressuring me! They're fine!

Evelyn: I'm telling you if you walk in there with slack slacks they're gonna get suspicious! If they fit you - everyone will think you've lost weight.

Bobby: [Takes down the slacks.] Fine! [Gets the ones from the back.]

Evelyn: My you've got a sexy rear there...

Bobby: [Smiles.]

Timothy What's going on?

Evelyn: Bobby is going to do the greatest thing in the world...

Timothy Him? He can't even sing!

Bobby: They'll fix it up - just as long as I try, right? [Puts on an E voice.] "Take me home on velvet wings?"

Timothy [Laughs.] Actually, that's quite good...

E:  [From the floor.] Evelyn? You playing some kind of record?

Evelyn: No sweetie! 

E:  [Sits up.] What's going on here?

[Timothy and Bobby pause.]

E:  [Wipes sweat off his forehead, and then gets a stomach cramp.] I have to throw up! [E stumbles to the bathroom.]

Evelyn:
 [Looks to Bobby.] Well, what have you stopped for? 

Bobby: [Hurries to dress.]

Evelyn: [Races into the cupboard, and retrieves a wig she brought for him to wear in E's absence.] Here...

Bobby: [Thanks.] 

Timothy [Looks Bobby over.]

Bobby: Well?

Timothy Your eyes aren't the same.

Bobby: My eyes?

Evelyn: [Snatches some glasses.] Here wear these...

Bobby: These are novelty glasses - I can't, I'll look like a dick!

Evelyn: [Ignores him, and puts them on his face.] Well it won't be you, will it?

Bobby: [Shrugs.]

Evelyn: [Backs away, and stares at Bobby.] There! That's all right. 

Bobby: [Looks to Timothy.]

Timothy [Laughs.]

Bobby: What if they ask me to take these things off?

Evelyn: Tell them no!

Timothy Pretend you're the biggest star in the world...

Bobby: [Smiles.]

Evelyn: Wait! [Grabs a few rings and necklaces, and puts them on Bobby.] Just to show your worth...

Bobby: [Looks to Timothy.]

Timothy [Shrugs.]

Bobby: [Slaps his hands together.] Well better get shakin? where's that list of notes?

Evelyn: What?

Timothy I think he means the lyrics...

Evelyn: Oh? [She gets them, and puts them in Bobby's hands.]

Bobby: Okay? [Smells himself.] I reek already...

Evelyn: [Gasps.] I've got a cure for that! [Sprays some of her perfume onto Bobby.]

Bobby: This is women's perfume!

Evelyn: So? 

Timothy It smells good sweetheart!

Bobby: [Lifts a hand in mock violence.] I'll sweetheart you!

Evelyn: [Hears the toilet flush.] Go!

Timothy I'll drive you.

Evelyn: [Grabs E's keys.] Here! Choose the good car!

Timothy [Catches the keys, and smiles.] Yes ma'am!

[Timothy leaves with Bobby.]

E:  [Comes out from the bathroom.]

Evelyn: You okay baby?

E:  [Grunts, ambles to the bed, drops, and goes back to sleep.]


       [Bobby sits in the back of the car reading.]

Timothy Hey, you as nervous as I feel? I'm chauffeuring an impostor! [Thinks, and turns his head.] You don't think we could get into trouble for this, do you?

Bobby: Of course - but I'll say it was for the good of the nation.

Timothy [Smiles, and turns back around.] Hell, I'm sweating like a pig up here!

Bobby: Uh-hu...

Timothy Do you really think you can pull it off?

Bobby: It's singing, not murder - of course I can pull it off! Look at me - I'm almost authentic!

Timothy Yeah? [Laughs nervously.]

Bobby: I don't know what you're so worked up about - I'm the one who has to walk into the studio to sing.

Timothy E never walks in alone...

Bobby: [Lifts his head.] Are you sure?

Timothy Pretty sure.

Bobby: So you're volunteering to be my possie?

Timothy [Wipes off some sweat.] Man? [Opens the window.] My stomach is turning on me...

Bobby: [Chuckles slightly.]


       [They reach the studio. Bobby gets out of the car, and enters the building with Timothy in tow.]

[They enter the foyer.]

Timothy Hey, wait! I'm lagging.

Bobby: That's cause you are not the star, you're always the person in my shadow.

Reception02 [Laughs.] It's good to have you back E - we thought you'd never make it.

Bobby: [Smiles.] Honey, I'd make it just to see your pretty little face...

Reception02 [Blushes.] You may enter - everyone's waiting...

Bobby: I'll be thinking of us through every track.

Reception02 [Laughs.] Stop! A reporter could have heard that!

Bobby: And printed it - it would have made you famous...

Timothy [Pokes at his shoulder, and whispers.] You're married - act like it at least!

Bobby: Oh? [Smiles.] Well I'm off to record - wish me luck angel cake.

Reception02 [Smiles, and glows.] Good luck E. [Fans herself as he walks past.]

[Bobby and Timothy enter the next room. The manager sees Bobby, and walks up to him.]

Manager E!

Bobby: Hey!

Manager I'm so glad that you've decided to come...

Bobby: You'd better say arrive, or I might blow my balls?

Timothy [Bites his lips.]

Manager [Grimaces, and then laughs.] Ha, ha, ha! Always a sense of humour! Let's meet the director. [Ushers him towards the sound booth entrance where a short guy is waiting with toothpick in his mouth.] Here's the star.

Studio Director  Hi there.

Bobby: Hey.

Studio Director  It's a bit shady for sunglasses kid...

Bobby: I wear, what I wear, when I wear it - you got a problem? Write it on my toilet roll - I may read it next time I'm taking a dump.

Manager [Worries, and pushes another laugh as he slaps E more then a little hard on his shoulder.]

Bobby: Hey there? you could break something doing that? [Rubs his shoulder.]

Studio Director  You can wear whatever you want, just as long as you can sing - that's all I care about.

Bobby: Great! Then lets get down to business - let's start with, "You Are The Brightness Of My Wonder." [Starts to sing.] "The world goes down under, sinks like a boat cut in storm, cause you are the brightness of my wonder, which I think about when the world is gone? [Operatic.] Cooome Tooo Meeeeee?..eeeeeee?."

Studio Director  Let's just start one song at a time - I'll show you the tune track, then we'll get it rolling... [He smiles, and follows E into the studio.] 

Manager [Looks to Timothy suspiciously.] I don't know what you've done to him, but I'm not sure I like it just yet?

Timothy [Laughs nervously.] What's there not to like chief? It's E!

Manager It's him all right - but something still feels odd... [Goes to the viewing booth.]

Timothy [Follows with sweat forming puddles in the creases of his palms.]


       [The recording goes well - there's no light dimming, and there's nothing but complete professionalism coming from E. There are barely any hiccups, and there are no mistakes. Bobby lands the songs well in first cut - and the session glides along. When the last track is cut, the director looks at E with sweat rolling down his face.]

Studio Director  That's it - it's amazing. [Looks around.] This boy's amazing!

Bobby: Thanks man?

Studio Director  Hell, and you're voice - what have you done to it?

Bobby: I just sing from the heart - it's more full then usual with all the love I get from my little sweetheart.

Studio Director  Of course! I just? wow! Let's send ovation towards him everybody! 

[The whole studio claps.]

Bobby: Thank you, you're all too kind. [Takes a breath and looks to Timothy who's smiling, and clapping as well]. [Bobby claps his hands together.] Well while we're still around - why don't we make another one?

[The studio laughs.]


       [At the house at the very same moment.]

E:  [Wakes up in his bed, with perspiration dribbling down his cheeks.]

Evelyn: [Looks at him.] Hey baby?

E:  [Gasps.] What's happened?

Evelyn: Nothing, why?

E:  I just had a bad feeling? [Smiles, and shrugs his panic off.] I guess it was nothing.

Evelyn: Go to sleep - you're just tired.

E:  Yeah? [Closes his eyes.]


      [E wakes up - it's night. He looks around, and finds that he is alone. He get out of bed, and walks down the stairs.]

E:  Evelyn? 

[No one is around.]

E:  [Shrugs.] I guess she went out... [He goes to grab something to eat - there are just cold leftovers in the kitchen that are ill prepared and burnt. E frowns.] What happened to the chef? Why is this fridge a mess? [He slams the refrigerator door closed.] 

[E goes into a quiet room to brood - he sits there until beyond bored, and glances at the time over and again. He reads an old newspaper, and notices time passing slowly.] 

E:  Where is everyone? Isn't Evelyn pregnant? Shouldn't she be? [A sudden thought turns on him.] Evelyn? what if she? what if the baby?  maybe she's at the hospital! [He quickly runs upstairs, and goes to get the car keys. He can't find them.] Where the hell are they? [He rummages around, he looks in the usual places, and still can't find them.] No! Where are you?! [E starts throwing things around, and creating a mess. He jumps from spot to spot - searching, crawling on hands and knees, lifting up furniture.]

[Evelyn comes into the room. She drops her smile, and stares as she sees items being thrown out of the cupboard.]

Evelyn: E?

E:  Evelyn? [Jumps out of the cupboard.]

Evelyn: [Laughs a little.] Honey? what are you doing?

E:  [Shuffles.] Oh nothing? just looking for those darn gone keys!

Evelyn: Well, look no farther - I just borrowed them. [He takes out his keys.]

E:  Evelyn! You can't do that! [E goes over to her, and snatches the keys.] 

Evelyn: [Smiles.] 

E:  [Pockets the keys.] So, where did you go?

Evelyn: Oh, just for a drive - Bobby and Timothy chauffeured.

E:  Whose idea was it?

Evelyn: Mine of course! I needed something to do - this house is so boring at times...

E:  [Frowns.] Why didn't you wake me?

Evelyn: Cause you were sound asleep silly! I didn't want to disturb you.

E:  I wish you had? [Looks around the room.] I wouldn't have made such a mess.

Evelyn: I'll get it cleaned up for you tomorrow... [She pats his shoulder, and goes to lie down.]

E:  Evelyn, I've been meaning to ask you something...

Evelyn: Yes?

E:  What happened to the cook?

Evelyn: [Laughs.] We had her fired - she was getting too?. [She breaks off the sentence.] Her food was boring the heck out of me - I said cook for me, or leave; so she left. 

E:  I wish you hadn't done that... 

Evelyn: [Sits up.] Why?

E:  Cause a man gets hungry...

Evelyn: [Lays back down.] There's still food in the fridge silly - go make yourself something.

E:  [Frowns, turns, and goes down the stairs mumbling.]


[The next morning Evelyn goes down the stairs, and smells strange smells coming from the kitchen. She walks inside of the kitchen, and sees E cooking over the stove. There's bacon frying, pots boiling, the oven is roasting - all while E cooks what looks to be deep fried flapjacks.]

Evelyn: E?.what are you doing?

E:  I'm cooking.

Evelyn: For whom?

E:  For me? the boys? you?

Evelyn: [Laughs as she steps closer to inspect.] What's that you're making there?

E:  Pancakes.

Evelyn: You've used too much oil... 

E:  No, there is just a layer of oil to cover the base. [Smiles.]
 That's one of the only rules about cooking that I know for sure.

Evelyn: [Pats E's shoulder, and turns away from the mes.] Where are the boys?

E:  In the back lounge.

Evelyn: Oh? [She walks away.]


      [Everyone sits down to E's breakfast. E feels very proud, the boys look on with tongues drooling, and Evelyn looks as though she is about to faint from disgust.]

E:  Well, I hope that you all enjoy this - it's my first time cooking. [Sniffs, drinking in some scent.] I think I did pretty well.

Bobby: It's amazing! You've combined breakfast, lunch, and dinner, together - at the same time! [Picks up a deep fried flap jack, and bites into it.] Hmmm? needs syrup - pass me the syrup somebody?

Timothy [Picks up a bun, and a piece of oven baked chicken that is dribbling with juice and oil.]

Evelyn: [Helps herself to tea, and a bun.]

E:  [Heaps his plate with everything.]

Bobby: Hey, give me some of those mashed potatoes before you eat them all E!

E:  [Stops spooning the mashed potato, and passes the bowl over to Bobby.]

Bobby: [Heaps his plate with the rest of the bowl, and takes a taste.] Hmmm? needs butter - someone pass me the butter?

Timothy [Passes Bobby the butter.]

Bobby: [Eats.] Next time E, you might want to include sunny eggs.

E:  [Smiles, and takes a note.]

Timothy Maybe next time you should cook Bobby - E can't cook every time everyone wants some grub.

Bobby: [Smiles.] Me? Cook? Hmm? I do have to expand my talents; [Rubs his chin.] All right, this time tomorrow I'll be the one who puts grub on the table.

E:  [Smiles, and looks to Evelyn.]

Evelyn: [Cuts through a piece of chicken, and rolls her eyes when she notices the inside is not cooked. She goes back to the bun, and starts eating it unenthusiastically.]

E:  [Frowns, looks down at his plate, shrugs, and eats.]


[After breakfast E calls his manager.]

Manager Hello?

E:  Hi Pa.

Manager E! Oh boy, is it good to hear from you sonny!

E:  [Smiles.] What's with all the hijacked humph?

Manager I've got a new project - it's a fashion movie that has models, and more models, walking around. You're this fabulous talent scout. You have fun just shouting orders, and picking up pretty girls who are willing to do anything to get their faces in a magazine. It's got humour, it's got teasing - it's great comedy. I just need you to consent. It's six months E. 

E:  What about the album?

Manager You've done enough singing for now. Of course there will be a tour - but that won't be until later. What do you say E?

E:  [Thinks.] I say? [He hesitates on telling the truth about his personal feelings, but decides to just go with the flow.] Let's do it.

Manager Excellent! You start in three weeks.

E:  [Nods.] Thanks Pa. [Hangs up.]

Evelyn: Who was that?

E:  [Clears his throat.] Just another movie.

Evelyn: Is there a role for me?

E:  Not this time sugar.

Evelyn: [Pouts.] So when do you leave?

E:  Three weeks.

Evelyn: How long will you be gone?

E:  Six months at least.

Evelyn: That means you'll miss my birth-giving day.

E:  I'll get someone to take pictures.

Evelyn: I don't want to take pictures! I want you here.

E:  Sorry, I can't be here.

Evelyn: But?

E:  Evelyn, someone has to work around here. 

Evelyn: [Sulks.] Well, maybe it will come before you go.

E:  [Smiles.] 

Evelyn: [Gasps.] It's kicking! Want to touch it?

E:  Sure? [E approaches Evelyn as she sits down, and puts a hand on her stomach.] Feels strong - it's gonna be a big one.

Evelyn: [Smiles.]

E:  [Chuckles as it kicks again.]


[E gets the script, and starts reading it. He soon realises that there's more running and kissing, then acting. He phones up his manager.]

E:  He Pa? what is this a joke? Where's the story?

Manager It's all there - breezy ain't it?

E:  You do know I'm married!

Manager So?

E:  So, this much kissing would be called more?

Manager Don't think too hard - they're just light pecks. Just learn it E.

E:  But? [Sighs.] Well, maybe you can ask the director to cut around it, so that it doesn't seem so?

Manager [Laughs.] You don't ask a director to do anything, you just do what they tell you.

E:  But?

Manager No buts E! Just have fun. [Hangs up.]

E:  [Sighs, and puts down the phone.]

Bobby: [Knocks on E's door.] Hey, do you want to go to the beach?

E:  [Frowns.] No, I've got things to learn?

Bobby: So, bring it out - you haven't been anywhere with us in ages. Come on, take a vacation for a day.

E:  [Looks at the script.] I can't.

Bobby: Come on E! It's sunny, the wind is down - you just have to move your ass into the car, and then onto a towel. I'll even lay it down on the sand for you.

E:  [Smiles a little.] I ?

Bobby: Don't say the word 'can't' any more times - you can, you can; it's just a matter of?

Evelyn: [Pushes Bobby aside.] I want you to come. I'm pregnant. I have more reason then you to stay inside - but I'm going.

E:  [Sighs.] Okay? just for you sweetheart.

Evelyn: [Smiles at Bobby.]

Bobby: [Shrugs, and goes down the stairs.]


      [At the beach Evelyn sits next to E. He turns through pages of script - Evelyn watches the other men play some sports in the sand.]

Evelyn: It's nice here isn't it?

E:  Yep.

Evelyn: [Looks to E.] What's that you're reading?

E:  Just a script, nothing interesting.

Evelyn: Read it to me?

E:  [Smiles.] Hey! It's not my fault if you can't find a girl... 

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes.] Stop, please stop. 

E:  [Looks at her.] What?

Evelyn: It's so boring, I could kill myself for just listening to it. [She takes a sip of mineral water.]

E:  Well maybe it will be better on screen.

Evelyn: Perhaps? [Looks to the guys as they drop on each other for a grab at the ball. She laughs.] 

E:  [Looks at the guys in front of him, as they wrestle in the sand. He chuckles a little.] I used to act like that in my day.

Evelyn: Used to? I heard you tousled all through your last movie.

E:  Yeah, but that's acting. I don't do the tousles away from sets any-more.

Evelyn: Why?

E:  I've got better things to do with my time.

Evelyn: Like what, read washed out scripts?

E:  [Glares at Evelyn for a second.]

Evelyn: [Shrugs.]

E:  A man has to grow up sometime, that's all I'm saying.

Evelyn: Why? It's boring without the extra antics. 

[Bobby dives for Timothy's legs while he runs with the ball. Timothy falls and gets a face full of sand. Evelyn laughs again.] 

E:  [Shuffles closer to her.] Well there are some antics that a man never grows out of. [Touches her thigh.]

Evelyn: [Gasps, and slaps E quite hard on the cheek.] E! That's above the knee! Someone could have seen that! 

E:  [Ignores the throb on his cheek, blinks backs some tears, and moves to touch her face.] I'm sorry?

Evelyn: [Barks quite loud.] Woof, woof-woof, woof-woof! 

[A few people up the beach hears it and look over - Bobby and Timothy hear it, and stop wrestling.]

E:  [Takes his hand away.]

Evelyn: Touch me again in public, and I'll hit you with a glass bottle!

E:  [Frowns. Then picks up the script, and pushes his face into the pages.]

Evelyn: [To Bobby and Timothy.] Boys! I want to go for a swim!

Bobby: [Looks to Timothy, and shrugs.] You're wish is our command. 

[Bobby and Timothy help Evelyn into the water, and take her out for a paddle, helping to support her weight all the way through.] 

E:  [Glares above the pages of his script and narrows his eyes.]


[They get home from the beach. E storms up to his room, while Evelyn gets Bobby to dust off her feet before she enters the house.]

Evelyn: Thanks Bobby, I don't like the thought of getting any sand spread around.

Bobby: [To Timothy.] Better take off your shoes.

Timothy [Shrugs, and kicks them off.] 

Evelyn: I'm hungry. I want to eat. 

Bobby: What do you want chicken? Eggs?

Evelyn: No, I want a sandwich - nothing greasy.

Bobby: [Smiles.] I've got just the thing - I've been reading up about pregnancy in those tip magazines; I got some recipes that you might like.

Evelyn: What were you doing reading magazines?

Bobby: [Smiles.] Well you can't go on eating plain bread, and tea - that's an important kid you got in there.

Evelyn: [Smiles.]

Bobby: You go, and sit in the cosy room - I'll go and make my first speciality item. 


[Upstairs E is in the bathroom taking a few pills to calm down, and to get high - he's so distraught he's not sure which to choose so he gulps both down.] 

E:  [Whispers.] God damn animal! I married a damn animal? [Thinks.] How dare she bark at me! I wasn't doin nothing wrong! Just showing a husbandly affection! [Looks to the mirror.] Don't a man have the right? [Thinks.] Yeah? it's her politics which are screwed up - too many wrong readings. I don't know how such a fine woman can get such weird brain ideas. [E takes a few more pills, and then downs them with water. He the takes a breath, and scowls at his reflection.] You're wasting your time if you ain't nothing, you hear? [Thinks, and looks at himself.] Nothing? No? [Thinks, and remembers the way Evelyn went swimming with the other guys. Something ticks inside his brain, and causes his body to revolt.] Oh, I think I'm going to be sick! [E goes to lurch inside the toilet bowl.]


[E drags himself down the stairs - feeling high, and woozy. He walks into the kitchen, and plates a pile of bread. He then goes to the fridge, and takes out butter, jam, and cream. He smears each piece with the spreads, before closing them off in pairs. He slaps five sandwiches onto a plate, and nibbles on the top sandwich as he goes to find a quiet room with a table.]

[E goes to the cosy room, and finds Evelyn laughing as Bobby trying to act out something in mime.]

Timothy It's a cat!

Evelyn: It's a runner. A sprinter!

Bobby: [Shakes his head, and tries again.]

Timothy It's? well, if there was someone else there I'd say it's some sort of sexual act actually.

Evelyn: [Laughs.] Timothy!

Bobby: [Shakes his head, and tries to mime again.]

Timothy
 It's a lamb!

Evelyn: It's? [Tilts her head.] A stomach cramp!

Timothy It's? [Sees Bobby suck his thumb.] It's a sore thumb!

E:  It's a baby!

Bobby: [Claps, and points to E.] You got it!

Evelyn: E! You ruined our game! Now we have to start again!

E:  [Scowls.] Well, you two would have never have gotten it...

Evelyn: Yes we would - he just had to do something more specific.

Bobby: [Laughs, and sits down.] You gonna play E?

E:  [Scowls.] No? [Sniffs the air.] You three really need to shower, you brought the ocean in with you. 

Evelyn: Maybe we should have one together. 

E:  [Freezes, and scowls at the remark.]

Bobby: [Laughs.] Timothy! Get your sea-breeze ass up there - it's your turn!

E:  [Walks away.]


[Later that night in bedroom - E plugs a night-light on, and turns off the main light. He then slips into bed where Evelyn lies with her eyes closed.]

E:  [Looks to her, and then to the ceiling.] Evelyn?

Evelyn: Hmmm?

E:  I? I wanted to discuss something with you.

Evelyn: [Opens her eyes.] What? 

E:  I want to discuss your odd behaviour. Like today at the beach you made ruckus for no reason, barking like an animal. I don't know why you barked at me... You just had to use plain words if you didn't approve of my teasing... It's not like I have a hard time understanding things... You just had to tell me, and I wouldn't have reached for you. 

Evelyn: [Smiles, almost proud.] It was just one of those spur of the moment things.

E:  And then tonight - you said a crude joke...

Evelyn: So? You and the boys say crude jokes all the time!

E:  No we don't...

Evelyn: [Challenges.] No?

E:  No!

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Well if you're just going to lie to yourself, there's no point in having conversation is there?

E:  I'm not lying?

Evelyn: No?

E:  No!

Evelyn: [Narrows her eyes.] Why don't you just say it then? You don't want me talking cause I'm a girl! That's what's buried underneath your lips isn't it?

E:  No, I just think that it was inappropriate?

Evelyn: [Butts in.] But if one of your friends would have said it, you would have laughed right?

E:  [Hesitates.] Well, maybe.

Evelyn: [Butts in again.] But because I am a girl, and your wife, you think it's unallowed right?

E:  Right! 

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes.] Gosh, if I knew you were such a stiff stick, I would have just married the corner boy back home.

E:  [Snaps.] Who?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Well, you're not the only person in the world are you?

E:  [Gets mad.] Are you saying there's something wrong with me?

Evelyn: No, I'm just saying if I knew you'd turn into some old aged guy, I would have been better off? [Looks to E, and sees he's about to get really mad.] Don't wreck your brains over it - I'm just talking silly. [She looks into his eyes.] I wouldn't have wanted to marry anyone but you E... [She kisses her fingers, and wipes them over his cheek.] Now turn off the light will you? I want to get some sleep. 

E:  [Scowls, and peers at her for a moment. He then get up to turn off the night-light. After a near total trip, he stumbles back into bed. He bothers to turn, and wrap an arm around Evelyn.] I love you Evelyn, you know?

Evelyn: Likewise I'm sure? [Taps E's hand in a petting motion.]

E:  [Takes his hand away as thought it has been pricked with disease - then he rolls onto his back, and stares at the ceiling until he feels like sleeping.]


[The next morning E wakes up in bed alone - he blinks, and pulls himself out of bed. He gets ready for the day, and then goes down the stairs while combing his fingers through his damp hair. He hears laughing, and follows the sound to the eating room. There, he finds Timothy, Bobby, and Evelyn eating.]

E:  Hey? [Takes a step closer.] Hmmm? what's that smell? You boys wearing any underwear from yesterday, or something?

Bobby: [Smiles.] We're eating tuna fish.

E:  Tuna fish? [Sits at the table.] I've never tried it... 

Evelyn: [Passes him a sandwich.] Then try it - I love it! Bobby really knows how to make a pregnant woman better with these foods.

E:  [Sniffs the sandwich, and recoils.] It smells like?

Timothy: Fish?

Bobby: [Laughs.] It's a surprise that, isn't it?

E:  [Throws down the sandwich.] Are you sure it's within the use by date? It smells off.

Evelyn: It's perfectly fine - that's just how it is.

E:  [Pushes the plate away.]

Bobby: [Gasps.] E is turning down food? 

E:  What's on that sandwich isn't food - it's just chunky vomit.

Evelyn: E! Some of us are eating! You want me to starve this baby to death?

E:  [Looks to Evelyn.] I'm sorry, you're right - I should have just kept my mouth closed.

Bobby: It doesn't disturb me! I love chunky vomit!

Evelyn: Bobby! [Gets angry.] If anyone says anything crude about food around this table - I'm going to just have an abortion, and not worry about eating ever again!

Timothy She's right - just stop talking everyone, and eat what suites your desires.

Bobby: That's very poetic.

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Thank you Timmy? [Rubs his hand.]

E:  [Scowls, and leaves to make himself something to eat.]


[In the kitchen E grabs some eggs, and practically throws them into a hot pan. He then grabs some sausage, and tosses it in. He then grabs a tomato, halves it, and throws it in as well. He then sprinkles the lot with pepper.]

Bobby: [Laughs as he enters.] Hmmm? smells good!

E:  [Gives Bobby the eye.]

Bobby: [Peers into the fridge, and takes out some juice.] Just like real food - huh E?

E:  I wished you hadn't introduced Evelyn to that chunky vomit!

Bobby: It's good for her - can't you see her energy has returned? The kid was starving herself on that bread, and herbed water.

E:  She chose it! There's plenty of food in here - I don't see what's wrong with it...

Bobby: Pregnant women are made to be fussy - it's part of the drama... [Slaps E's back, and leaves.]

E:  [Scowls, and stirs his food around. He flips it, and realises it's back is burnt.] I hate doing cooking myself! Evelyn had no right to fire the cook! This is... [He looks at the food, and slips it onto a plate.] Left overs. 


[E returns to the eating room and sits down next to Evelyn, who is sitting alone, happily sipping on some juice, while she looks through a magazine.] 

E:  Where are the boys?

Evelyn: Gone outside. [Flips the page.]

E:  [Picks up a knife and fork, and starts to eat.] Anything about me in there?

Evelyn: No, not yet... 

E:  Not yet?

Evelyn: I think there'll be something about you in the back...

E:  [Smiles.] I'm supposed to be this big hit, and I'm in the back of a magazine?

Evelyn: Well it's not like you're the president.

E:  No. [Eats some sausage.]

Evelyn: [Sighs, flips through the pages, and finds a picture of him covering a page.] Here? here's you - Actor of the Month.

E:  Actor? Not singer?

Evelyn: It says actor.

E:  [Smiles, and peers at it.] Wow, actor huh?

Evelyn: Must be a poor range of films to have yours bulleted.

E:  [Frowns.] Why would you say that?

Evelyn: I don't know, I feel bored when I watch them. 

E:  [Flinches.] I wish you wouldn't say that?

Evelyn: [Looks to E.] What would you rather me do? Lie?

E:  No, but maybe you could just try to brighten up about it.

Evelyn: [Scoffs, and looks at the page.] You look so different in print - it's hard to believe it's you sometimes.

E:  Well, it's more of a sketch based on a picture I think...

Evelyn: Still? [She smiles.] It's a bit deceiving.

E:  Really? How?

Evelyn: It makes you look different then what you are - I could have loved this guy? really loved him?

E:  [Frowns.] You don't love me? 

Evelyn: [Looks and him, and stares as if he's a different person. She then murmurs her reply.] Yes, of course...

E:  Well, I wish you'd make up your mind - your tongue makes my head dive in circles.

Evelyn: E? [Puts her hand on his.] Kiss me?

E:  [Smiles, and leans forward - but he hesitates suddenly.] 

Evelyn: [Leans forward, and purses her lips a little in anticipation.]

E:  [Feels the heat from her lips, and turns cold.] I can't right now honey? [Stands up, and leaves.]

Evelyn: [Snaps.] E!


[E races upstairs, and heads to the cabinet in the bathroom. He throws the door open, and hurriedly swallows a few more pills. He then looks at his reflection sourly.]

E:  So, we've heard it - she likes you and not me! You! You! [E points to the mirror, scowls, and then storms out.] It's like having an affair with your twin! [E picks up his car keys.] It sick... twisted? If I were the same person? [Scoffs.] I am the same person! Same person! [E rushes down the stairs, and storms towards the garage.] 

[On the front lawn Bobby and Timothy see E marching across the green grass, and rush to him.]

Bobby: E! What are you doing?

E:  I'm getting out of this house before it drives me nuts!

Bobby: [Whispers to Timothy.] Stay here... [Bobby runs to catch up with E.] E! Wait!

Timothy [Turns, and heads towards the house.]

E:  [As Bobby approaches.] I don't want your company Bobby!

Bobby: What? That's crazy talk - everyone likes my company!

E:  [Shouts.] I'm not kidding! I'm serious!

Bobby: Calm down E - what's the matter?

E:  [Feels tears glaze inside his eyes.] I married a mirage, that's all!

Bobby: Of course you did - she was ordered for you.

E:  [Grimaces, and bites his tongue for a second.]

Bobby: Don't you remember? It was because?

E:  Stop! Stop right there? [Points, and backs off a bit.] Stop it?

Bobby: Just tell me what the matter is...

E:  [Steps back.] She loves everything I am, when I'm being what I'm not!

Bobby: What does that mean?

E:  She likes a photo, she doesn't like me when I'm right here.

Bobby: So? Tell her to open her eyes.

E:  That's me in the photo man! What am I opening her eyes to? [Turns, and continues walking.]

Bobby: Hey! E! [Bobby runs to him, and tries to give him a hug.]

E:  [Pushes him.] Get off! I don't want company right now!

Bobby: Okay, okay E? [Puts
 up his hands.]

E:  [Runs a hand over his face, and turns away.]

Bobby: Where are you going?

E:  [Puts up his fingers to tell him to stop talking, and storms off to the garage.]


[E hops in the car, starts the engine, and drives off.]


Bobby: [Turns, and runs inside the house.]

[Timothy is sitting next to Evelyn talking in the entertainment room.]

Bobby: [Slams his palm down hard on the oak table nearby, and makes them both jump.]

Evelyn: [Puts a hand on her chest.] Bobby?

Bobby: [Attacks Evelyn.] How dare you say that you don't love him - as if it weren't apparent enough, you have to push the words out!

Evelyn: I do love him!

Bobby: Lie! Lie-lie, lie-lie!

Evelyn: [Stands up.] What the hell do you know about it?!

Bobby: I know that you're his charity case. I know there are hordes of women who he could have chosen - the manager just wanted something fast, and payable. You ain't all that when it comes to women! You're dirt cheap to put a hammer to his brain! 

Evelyn: Bobby! I can't believe your talking this way?

Bobby: I'm talking like a friend, pissed! [Bobby grabs her face.]

Timothy [Timothy stands up in reaction ready to pounce if Bobby gets too rough.] 

Bobby: [Sneers at Evelyn.] That's not just anybody you're messing with sweetheart - you damage him, and I'll be the end of you? 

[Bobby pushes her away - Evelyn bumps into Timothy who is standing close by. Bobby storms out.]

Evelyn: Bobby!


[E grumbles in his car as he drives.]

E:  She likes pictures? pictures? [Thinks, and scowls.] I'll give you pictures! [Looks at his watch.] Great? here's the star - actor of the month - paying for a moment of peace out of his mansion. [Orates like a press agent.] Star Circle says, "It is the Wife's Fault" - E has no comment. 

[E parks the car at the side of the curb, and sighs. He looks at a hotel sign up ahead - it's the dirtiest one he has ever seen. 

E:  [Orates like a press agent.] E parks his Royce in the black streets, he goes up to the dirtiest hotel he can find, he sleeps the night, and then goes home? [E sighs, and puts his hands over his face.] Where he pretends everything is fine... [E runs his hands over his hair, and with strain combs it. He puts his hand down, and looks around at the dull surroundings.] [E orates like a press agent.] Star Circle says, "his marriage will never fail - he'll be loyal to the end." [E thinks as he looks at the black walls around him.] [E orates like a press agent.] Star Circle says, "To create the peace he stuck pictures of himself over his wall paper - his wife never turned away." [E looks to the hotel sign again - suddenly a knock alarms him. E jumps as he realises that it's a police officer. He opens his window.]

Officer: E! Wow! It's the star himself! What a surprise!

E:  Is there a problem officer?

Officer: This is a great car - it's wonderful!

E:  Thank you.

Officer: But I don't think it's right for this alley - what are you doing in this scum hole?

E:  Would you believe I came here to get away from the blues?

Officer: [Laughs.] That's a good one! E, hiding out in the slums! The papers would eat that up. 

E:  [Smiles.] Yeah, that would be a good one...

Officer: [Looks at the car and whistles.] This is a fine car - I wouldn't leave it here if I were you...

E:  But it wouldn't be an offence if I did?

Officer: No, but I can almost guarantee it won't look the same by morning. [Raises his brows.] There's a reason why these streets have no cars - even I have to walk.

E:  Oh, I see. [Nods.] Thank you officer.

Officer: [Tips his hat.] Have a good day E. [Officer turns, and continues walking.]

E:  [Scowls.] Who does he think he is, telling me what to do? [E looks around, and sees a lot of black.] Still, he just might have a point.

[At the hotel someone opens the window, and throws up - it rains over the side-walk half a metre up ahead.] 

E:  That is unsatisfying? [Sighs.] Like I am to my wife - to her I'm just like that bucket of sludge, until I'm done up and put inside a picture frame! [E gets hot.] Who says I can't park here?! I can park here all night if I want to! I am E - Actor of the month! [E gets distracted by another stranger, who stops at the patch of side-walk with the puke on it. She retreats her steps, and then walks around the car. E stares with hot fires in his eyes.] Don't you know it kid? I'd be better off marrying you... No expectations? [E thinks away his sour, then reaches for the keys in the ignition.] Well, I'd better find a place to make a turn I guess... [A bucket of soiled rags falls out of the same hotel window.] I'm glad that officer bumped into me? [E starts his car, and then drives to find a turn.]


[E drives to the other hotel he had been at previously. He parks his car, and then goes inside.]

E:  [To reception.] Hey, got any penthouse apartments available?

Reception  Yes sir; [Reception give E a form to fill in, before she moves to take a key from the rack.] Number three, one, six.

E:  [Puts the pen down, and takes the key.] Thanks.   

[E goes upstairs, enters the room, and plonks his weight onto a bed. E looks at the ceiling while he lies on the bed.]

E:  [Sings.] Looking at the ceiling, in my dirt bag hotel, cause nothing's got the right feeling, and I'm feeling not so swell? [Thinks.] I need room service! [E picks up the telephone.] Hello, I want ice cream, topped with banana, and cream? [Listens.] Oh, it's called a Sundae is it? How big is it? Hmmm? better give me two. I also want a really good burger with everything on it. Room three, one, six. Thanks. [E hangs up the telephone.] A sundae? well you learn something new every day.


[E gets his food, eats, and then goes to sleep to the sound of nothing.]


[E wakes up in the early morning as the sun rises. He gets up, pours water on his face, and decides it's time to go back home. He walks out of the room, out of the lobby, hops in the car, and drives back home. He drives sullenly, he drives slowly, with nothing but cement on his brain. 

He drives into his gates, and parks the car in the garage. He then goes inside the house, and finds the group of party-goers asleep around different parts of the house. He can smell the scent of tuna on the air, and cringes. He inspects the crowd, and spots Evelyn asleep on the only couch. He touches her arm to wake her.]

E:  Evelyn? Evelyn?

Evelyn: [Stirs a little, and breathes out.]

E:  [Catches the scent of tuna, and holds his breath briefly.] Awww? I'll just leave you there. [E goes off to his room, and hangs his coat. E yawns, sits down on the edge of the bed, and thinks.] Well, this is great - I'm home for a second, and I'm already bored! [E chooses to flip through the script he's supposed to be learning. He picks it out of the drawer and orates some lines.] Hey! You hot babes wanna go and have a swim in my pool? [Murmurs.] All agree. [E reads.] Wow, you've got quite some body there - I have to photograph it. [Murmurs.] Woman nods, and giggles excitedly. [E rolls his eyes, and throws the script onto the bed.] Why don't they give me the character, and I'll make up the words as we go along? [E improvises.] Hey Bebe, nice ass? Hey Hillary, nice rack? Hey Blanch, well everything you are is nice... Whoever wants to be photographed, strip off your clothes right now, and let me see just how beautiful you really are. Hey Lilac! I meant only to your swimsuit! [Chuckles.] What the hell am I doing? This ain't no movie that will sell! It's lines, with a thousand kiss cues, and an ending! [E shakes his head.] It ain't no talent acting, that's for sure. [E goes to the bathroom to take some pills.] Good thing I'll be doing it with a smile on my face... [Takes some pills, and goes to lay down.]


[A few weeks pass like the wind - E goes off to shoot the movie, while Evelyn is left with the boys.]

[As soon as E's gone, Evelyn picks on Bobby to entertain her.]

Evelyn: Hey there...

Bobby: [Watching TV.] Hey?

Evelyn: Where's Timothy?

Bobby: Had to go to the John.

Evelyn: So, it's just the two of us.

Bobby: For a while...

Evelyn: Why are you mad?

Bobby: You were being selfish.

Evelyn: [Smiles]. Bobby, do me a favour?

Bobby: [Looks to her with some interest.] What?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Make me some more sandwiches?

Bobby: [Rolls his eyes.] Sure... [Bobby gets up.]

Evelyn: With mayonnaise! 

Bobby: As you wish?

Evelyn: [Laughs, and watches TV.]


[E goes to the filming site, and meets the new director.]

Manager This is my star E - E this is your director.

E:  Hello sir.

Presswork  Strange that you are your manager's only star.

E:  [Smiles stiffly.]

Presswork  I am Presswork. You may call me Presswork. My method of directing is do what I say, and do it perfectly. If you can't do it - then get lost; there's always seconds. Do you understand?

E:  Yes sir. 

Presswork  Good, now let me show you to your stable. 

E:  [Rolls his eyes to the manager.]

Manager [Smiles.] Give it all you got E.

E:  I sure will. [E heads off.]


[Presswork leads E to his caravan.]

Presswork  Here it is! Now I will leave you. You start late tonight. I will send you a note. Do you understand?

E:  Yes sir.

Presswork  [Looks E up and down.] Excellent.


[ "Simple Movie" turns out to be chaotic. E is cut from scripts, and written in in strange places. He gets told not to act, then he gets told to act, then he gets told to get off the site if he can't do his job. E gets put down, he gets his skills grated, his parts get turned inside out then back to front - and in the end he gets so jumbled up about his character that he just gives up on the script section, and talks as the cameras film. 

E gets told to leave after a disastrous shoot -  he doesn't get told it's the end of the making of the movie. E assumes he got fired. He doesn't get congratulations.]


[E catches a train home. When on the train s woman approaches him.]

Woman   Excuse me, you
 look a little sick - I'm carrying a child, you don't have anything that can be caught have you?

E:  I just got the blues.

Woman   Are you sure? 

E:  Positive.

Woman   Well here? [Gives him some aspirin.] Please take it. [She leaves.]

E:  [Looks at the aspirin, takes it, and then quietly sits in his seat for the rest of the trip.]


[E gets off the train station platform, and starts to walk home. His mood is sour, and he chooses to walk all the way home with his feet dragging in the dirt. He is a reeking sweat box by the time he dumps his bag in the foyer of his house.]

E:  Evelyn? Bobby? Timothy? 

[The house is quiet.]

E:  [Shrugs.] Well, I didn't want to see you anyway... [E drags himself up stairs, has a quick shower, and for the first time in a long while he cries. He gets out, looks at his red eyes in the mirror, and then takes some medication. He stares at himself hard.] Well old boy, better go and ring old 
Pa, tell him the worst news...

[E picks up a phone, and dials the Manager's number.]

Manager Hello?

E:  Hey Pa? Have you heard the news?

Manager I sure did! You cut a six month movie in eight short weeks! Well done!

E:  Well done? 

Manager The director was so impressed, he even sent you extra money for saving him so much.

E:  I? I thought it was a disaster! I didn't get invited to no party? I just got told to leave.

Manager No everyone follows tradition - that director is very blunt. [Smiles.] You did a bang up job E!

E:  [Is stunned.] I can't say anything sir - I don't know how I did anything right...

Manager [Laughs.] Well here's the best news - you can now go on vacation. I'll send you your cheque tomorrow.

E:  Thank you sir. [E puts down the phone.] Well, knock me over, and call me a donkey! [Slaps his head, and then lands on the bed.] 

Bobby: [From the door.] E? 

E:  [Looks to his door, and sees Bobby.]

Bobby: [Looks frightened to see him.] E? what have you done to yourself?

E:  What?

Bobby: You look?

E:  I've just been stressed to the brim.

Bobby: I have to tell you something?

E:  What?

Bobby: [Opens his mouth to speak, and then stops.] Maybe I should just show you.


[Bobby leads E out to the front yard, where a car is parked on the lawn. He opens the door, and frets while E takes a look inside. On the while faux fur-lined seating there is a great mess of dark red splotches. E straightens up.]

E:  What's happened Bobby? You kill someone?

Bobby: Your wife? she? she started having the baby in the car! I couldn't stop it - I told her to hold it in. She started screaming, and carrying on like she had just been jumped by the ungodly. [He takes a breath.] Timothy was screaming to park the car - the hospital was only blocks away... I stopped - then out it came... I couldn't stop it... All the gunk, and goo, came out with the baby. I watched it all - I'm sorry.

E:  [Scoffs.] Where's Evelyn?

Bobby: Inside. [Takes him to the comfy room, where Evelyn sits nursing a baby.]

E:  Evelyn! You all right?

Evelyn: E! Look! It's a baby!

E:  Did you go to the hospital?

Evelyn: [Doesn't listen.] All bright cheeks, and smiles. 

E:  Did you go to the hospital? 

Evelyn: My hair, your brow?

E:  Did you go to the hospital?

Evelyn: Little nose?

E:  Did you Evelyn? [Touches her shoulder.]

Evelyn: Oh?I saw a home nurse - I got a birth certificate. [Evelyn smiles.] Funniest world it is?

E:  [Looks to Bobby.] I thought she was blocks away from the hospital.

Bobby: Well someone noticed the screaming, and we were sent to a neighbour. Funniest world is right! You would never have guessed how many nurses live near a hospital! Evelyn got cleaned up, the woman even gave her that dress she's got on - she knew just what to do.

E:  [Sighs, and runs his hand over Evelyn's shoulder.] I guess everyone's been winning lately.

Evelyn: I called her Eve. 

E:  [Smiles.] Thank you?  [Kisses her head.]


[Weeks pass. E gushes about Eve to press, and papers - pictures are taken and sold. However then something disastrous happens - Eve's hair changes to red, and her skin darkens. E sweats about it as he watches her grow through the passing months. E doesn't vacate as he is absorbed in the movement. He sinks into the shadow of his house as his suspicions grow. Finally E can take the silence no longer - he calls his father in order to discuss the matter.]

E:  Pa, what colour hair was I born with?

Father: Blonde, well a dark blonde - it darkened.

E:  I don't suppose anyone in our family had like different hair?

Father: No, it was either the same, or brown.

E:  Nothing like red huh?

Father: No. 

E:  What about on ma's side?

Father: Straight brunette. 

E:  What about skin texture? Any table wood colours?

Father: [Laughs.] No E - just normal. Why?

E:  No reason - thanks pa. [E hangs up the phone, and sighs.] Well, I don't know what to make of it. I don't? [E thinks to himself. After a while he sighs, and decides to phone up the manager.]

Manager Hello?

E:  He Pa.

Manager E, how's vacation?

E:  There hasn't been none since the baby.

Manager [Laughs.] Of course. How is the father coping with his new baby?

E:  I have a problem - it doesn't look like me. I can't see my image in its face. 

Manager Give it time - it will grow, and you'll see yourself emerge.

E:  Listen Pa, I don't know what to say - but it really doesn't look like me. Really. It's almost as if? [E thinks, and then whispers.] I think it could be someone else's...

Manager Nonsense! Stop making up things, and get on with your duty on being the best damned father in the state! Babies aren't just you, you know - it's the two of you. Two people have made that baby. Don't look for circles in lines, understand?

E:  Not really.

Manager [Laughs.] Just be good. I'll contact you soon, bye E.

E:  Bye sir. [Hangs up.]

Evelyn: [Walks inside the room.] You talking about us E?

E:  [Looks to her.]

Evelyn: You got a problem with Eve?

E:  No, now let me nurse her.

Evelyn: The term is hold her... [She gives E the baby.]

Eve:  [Screams.]

E:  Better take this back - I don't think she likes me.

Evelyn: [Picks up the baby.] You know, my hair was red - but it turned brown when I was two years old. 

E:  Oh?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Not everyone can have your hair E. [She smiles, and holds the baby.]

E:  No? [Smiles.] Want to make another one?

Evelyn: E! Please! [She moves to sit in a chair.]

E:  [Smiles.] Yeah? stupid idea. [Looks at Evelyn.] I want to kiss you Evelyn. 

Evelyn: [Looks at him, and smiles.]

E:  [Leans over, and kisses her mouth - it tastes like tuna. He breaks it quick, and wipes his mouth with his hand.] I thought you'd be off that cat food by now!  [E goes to the bathroom.]

Evelyn: I'm hooked - what can I say? It's good for my insides.

E:  [Comes out with his face washed, and his mouth minted.] Vomit comes from the inside, but you don't see me eating it.

Evelyn: [Laughs.] Oh E? [Pays attention to Eve.]

E:  [Puts on a jacket, and moves to leave.]

Evelyn: Where are you off to looking all-important?

E:  Got a meeting. [Pauses.] I may be home late. [Pauses yet again.] I may be home tomorrow.

Evelyn: I'll miss you every second...

E:  [Smiles stiffly, and leaves.]

Bobby: [Catches E on the stairs.] E!

E:  Bobby, I'm going out.

Bobby: Some independent firm called?

E:  Take a message - I'll read it tomorrow. [Hits Bobby on the arm to make him move aside.]

Bobby: But E!

E:  Tomorrow Bobby! [E leaves.]

Bobby: But tomorrow it will be too late?

Timothy Too late for what?

Bobby: They wanted to interview E tonight, and take his photo. It's some sort of excellent role model award they give to special stars - or maybe it's just some interview. I don't know - they make up anything to get a star inside; but the trophy is twenty thousand dollars cash. Can you believe that?

Timothy [Whistles.] Man, I could do with twenty grand. 

Bobby: Yeah, me too. 

Timothy I'd buy me a car.

Bobby: I'd buy me a house.

Timothy I'd buy me a wife.

Bobby: I'd buy me a gun.

Timothy What for?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] I've always wanted one.

Timothy You planning on robbing banks?

Bobby: They impress people. You see E wagging his around in peoples faces? They whistle, and murmur... It's an eye catcher.

Timothy They're probably thinking, "Is this guy gonna shoot me?"

Bobby: What was your reaction when you saw it? You wanted it right?

Timothy I said that was a pretty looking gun.

Bobby: See? It breaks out conversation.

Timothy [Smiles.]  I still don't see why you'd buy a gun.

Bobby: Are you kidding? Twenty grand, and I'd buy anything I ever dreamed of!

Timothy [Shrugs.] Maybe you should be E - then you could get the loot.

Bobby: [Thinks.] Well, maybe I could - it is cash...

Timothy [Looks to Bobby.] Have you gone nuts? They'll scam you out in seconds.

Bobby: It passed in the studio.

Timothy The studio let you wear glasses.

Bobby: True? [Thinks.] Maybe it was a dumb idea.

Timothy I'll say! Scandal of the year if anyone found out!

Bobby: [Looks to Timothy with a glint in his eye.] But pay day if it works?

Timothy You can't?

Bobby: [Smiles.] Timothy, get me some drugs... I'm gonna be so high, not even the cops will be able to charge me! [Sings a note.] Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Timothy You are one crazy guy.

[Bobby bounces off to get ready.]


[Bobby barges into Evelyn's room.]

Evelyn: Bobby! You could have woken her!

Bobby: Sorry? sorry Eve!

Evelyn: Bobby! It's a baby - it can't hear words, just sound; so shut up.

Bobby: [Whispers.] Sorry? [Walks to the cupboard, and starts choosing a few items.]

Evelyn: What are you doing?

Bobby: [Strips, and puts the clothes he chose on. Bobby has a tie in his mouth as he answers.] I'm dressing?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] I can see that - but what for?

Bobby: I wanna look good tonight. 

Evelyn: E might be home later, what will I tell him when he sees clothes missing?

Bobby: [Pokes his head out of
 the cupboard.] Use your womanly guile to keep him out of the cupboard.

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes.] That won't be hard - he's hard set on having another baby.

Bobby: Awww? that's great kid? [Shuffles as he puts shoes on.]

Evelyn: Are you kidding? I don't want another one! He hates this one, I can see it in his eyes whenever he looks. He's thinking, "Why aren't you me?" every time he looks at her. 

Bobby: So tell him why.

Evelyn: I would, but I don't know why! I don't know why she looks like she does? I wished she looked just like him - but she doesn't Bobby!

Bobby: Hey, don't get upset - she's a baby. All babies look like freaks until they get older. Can you believe I once had curly hair? It stuck out like pig tails from my scalp. [Looks at Evelyn hard.] I was going to be called Alexander, the Greek king - with gold locks, and round face? Pschew? Now look look at my hair - its dead, boring, straw hair. Straw hair Evelyn! It can't curl with irons.

Evelyn: [Smiles.] I'd love to see you with curls. [Looks to Eve as she squirms.] 

Bobby: Hey, she's cute - E's crazy if he doesn't love her cause of some stupid thoughts. If he thinks any more, I'll put him on drugs until he can't tell up from down. Does that make you feel better?

Evelyn: [Laughs.] A little. 

Bobby: [Goes back inside the cupboard, grabs the wig Evelyn hides in a box, and then jumps out of the cupboard.] Now tell me? does this look like your husband?

Evelyn: Almost.

Bobby: [Frowns.] I need make-up! I've got to hide my eyes!

Evelyn: Hide your eyes?

Bobby: They've got to look sexy, so everyone can drool before they look. I mean, really look?

Evelyn: Bobby? why are you dressing up like E? Are you up to something?

Bobby: [Yells from the bathroom.] Me? Never! [Takes a handful of pills, and begins to paint his face.]

Evelyn: E will be mad if you're impersonating him again. You can't be him whenever you want - last time was an emergency?

Bobby: [Bobby yells.] This time is an emergency! If E doesn't show tonight, he never will! That's lost publicity! I'm putting body and soul before other people, just for him! I'm putting my neck on the line! If E doesn't appreciate that - well then he can just kiss my? [Bobby puts on some lipstick.] [Bobby emerges from the bathroom all made up.] E won't miss it, and no one else will find out the switch. I look enough like him to pass? Now tell me, do I look sexy?

Evelyn: [Swallows hard as she looks at his face, and feels her heart beat rush.] You look like his picture.

Bobby: [Frowns.] That's good right?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] That's perfect.

Bobby: Thanks. [Presses his palms together.] It's important that this is kept secret, unless found out.

Evelyn: I won't know a thing until you phone up from jail.

Bobby: [Smiles.] That's my girl? [Bobby leans over Evelyn.] Cute little baby? [E tickles Eve's chin.]

Evelyn: [Gasps.] Don't?

Eve:  [Opens her eyes, smiles at Bobby, and giggles.]

Bobby: I made her smile - you see that? 

Evelyn: Yes?

Bobby: It's an omen? [Looks to Evelyn.] I gotta go.

Evelyn: [Smiles at Eve.]

[Hears Bobby yell on the stairs.]

Bobby: Tim, where are my drugs?

Evelyn: [Shakes her head, and looks at Eve as she settles down to sleep.]


[E drives throughout the streets, and then ventures to the highway thinking dark thoughts all the way. He starts muttering to himself while his concentration is focused on the road.]

E:  Red hair, table wood, pictures? I've really won the jackpot this time! I get a marriage so fast I can't even blink before I'm hitched! I don't get interviews hardly - but I get lots of work! I don't understand it... [Runs a hand over his face.] Where's the straight tie? The good lace? The steady flame? The long road? [E takes a gulp.] The press have already noticed I'm sure - sure as rain falls from a sky. [He orates like a press agent.] E, actor of the month, dives like a bomb, like a submerged tank, like a lead backed parachute. E gets robbed, and turned over -  is this the best life ever? [Scoffs.] The best lie! [E looks at the road ahead.] Well this road ain't taking me anywhere - I'm going back home. [Thinks.] I'm really going home.

[E drives to his dad's place.]


[Bobby and Timothy drive to the address of the interview. They find a small place, which looks more like a garage then anything else. Timothy slows his driving.]

Timothy Are you sure about this? This looks?

Bobby: The best people are in the worst places Timmy - don't be scared; just remember there's twenty grand with our name on it in there. [He opens the door.] Now let's get ourselves interviewed!

Timothy I really don't think it's a good idea Bobby - you could get?

Bobby: In big trouble, I know! The best trouble is the worst - ain't that what they say?

Timothy The worst trouble is the worst!

Bobby: Look, Presidents do it all the time - if I get my ass dragged to a court, I'll say, "E is like the President - can't be in all places at the one time. This is necessary to?.

Timothy [Butts in.] What if E testifies against you? 

Bobby: [Thinks.] Well, I'll lean in real close to the microphone, and say, "Suck my balls."

Timothy [Smiles.] You can't say that it court, you'll get five years for that sentence alone.

Bobby: [Rolls his eyes.] Nothing with happen! Now stop trying to scare me! Let's just go in, do it, and go out with cash. Cash. Paper gold. 

Timothy [Smiles.] Okay you drugged up bastard - let's get paid.


[Bobby and Timothy hop out of the car, and go inside the cage door. The walk through a hallway, and walk through another door - inside, they find a lighted room, with lights, cameras, and a stage. 

A small group of people with trendy glasses turn to face Bobby, and Timothy. Timothy feels his back sweat, Bobby is as cool as a cucumber.]

Bobby: Anyone order a star folks?

[The group laughs, and approach eagerly.]

Crew01   E! You made it! Wow! It's really you!

Crew02   You look just like your picture.

Crew01   And you did your own make up! Excellent! That will cut time.

Bobby: Well you know, a star has to look his best.

Crew03   I'm your photographer - I will take photo's of you first. You have a shirt under that jacket?

 Bobby: Do I have a shirt? I have the shirt Mac! [He takes off his jacket, and shows off a trendy shirt. He throws the jacket to Timothy who catches it grimly. Bobby turns around.] What do you think? Is this me or what?

Crew02   [Smiles.] Very you?

Crew03   You look a lot fitter then in the movie.

Bobby: Well you know, film puts on ten pounds.

Crew04   Can we get you to sing when we interview you?

Bobby: [Smiles.] You only have to ask. 

Crew04   Excellent. I'll get the microphones ready while you take your photos.

Bobby: [Smiles.] That sounds just fine. 


[E parks his car in his father's drive way. He gets out, and looks at the place. He sees that a light is on inside the house. He walks up to the front door, raises his hand, contemplates, and then knocks.]

[E's father answers the door.]

Father: Son? What are you doing here?

E:  I thought I would come in for a talk.

Father: Talk? [Thinks.]  Very well. [He lets him inside.]

[E follows his father to the lounge, and accepts a drink.]

Father: What's on your mind son?

E:  Well I have a problem. 

Father: What kind of problem?

E:  Specifically? [Sighs.] Everything is a problem for me. 

Father: How so?

E:  I have this great weight on my conscience - it's like I've done something wrong, and I'm paying for it every step of the way. I feel like no matter what I do, I can't seem to get anything right.

Father: [Smiles.] You feel guilt?

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] I don't know, I feel like nothing is really of worth - I work, and I work, and I end up with rubbish at the end of it. How would you explain that?

Father: [Puts his cup down, and clears his throat.] Well, you know what they say? 'He that acts upon a will of selfish desires, gets thwarted to pay for the misdeeds he has led by ignoring those needs of his fellow man.'

E:  [Frowns.] What does that mean? 

Father: It means your run on the devils wings, you get singed till you fall. 

E:  [Gets annoyed.] Wait, wait, wait! [Pauses as he catches his breath a little.] Wait? [He holds silence for a moment.] Pa, that ain't what I came here for...

Father: I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear E?

E:  Damn straight that's not what I wanted to hear! [Pauses, and tries to keep his voice calm.] I wanted to talk, and you're preaching to me the curse of the demon lord? I ain't Satan pa - I'm just a nice Joe who? [Stares at his father.]

Father: [Leans back with a smirk on his face, just wanting to say some more words to get E's blush rising.]

E:  I thought we could talk like mature adults. I thought I could open up to you.

Father: So you wanted me to be less philosophic, and talk to you like my tongue is a roll of bread? You want nurturing in a dry crust? Is that what you'd prefer?

E:  [Sighs.] Yes pa.

Father: [Thinks.] Okay, I'll tell you this much... [Pauses as he picks up his drink. He then sits back, and stares E straight into his eyes.] You waste the best years of your life, then spend the rest dying for it - but you don't need to worry; when you die, you'll go straight to hell. Most people don't even get that far. 

E:  [E grits his teeth, and then puts down his drink.] Geese pa? thanks a billion! [He stands up. I should say something, but? [Looks at his father who smiles back coolly.] Awww shucks - forget it. See you around pa. [E leaves.]

Father: It was good to see you E.

E:  [Turns swiftly at the door.] I wish I could say the same. [He abruptly leaves.]


[Bobby and Timothy walk out of the studio in the break of the morning with cash in their hands.]

Bobby: Can you believe this Timmy? [He kisses the notes.]

Timothy Yeah, hard to believe.

Bobby: [Tucks the cash inside his coat's hidden pocket.] Better keep it safe - don't want to the wind to pick
 up on any of it.

Josephine  [A girl screams over by the footpath.] E!  [She runs up to Bobby.] It's really you!

Bobby: [Laughs.] Of course it's me honey. 

Josephine  [Looks at E with dreamy eyes.] I've always wanted to meet you - you look so dreamy in your films; I spend all my allowance on the picture shows.

Bobby: Awww, shucks honey? that's great!

Josephine  Can you sign my book?

Bobby: [Looks to Timothy.]

Timothy [Shakes his head.]

Bobby: Not now, I'm busy honey?.

Josephine  [Gapes, and wants to cry.] No? Is it because I'm not pretty enough? Is that it? [She throws the book into a puddle.]

Bobby: Now don't get upset - an important man is a busy man. 

Timothy Let's get going!

Bobby: No, wait Timmy? I can't leave a fan like this. [He kneels down in front of the girl who has tears in her eyes.] I tell you what? [He looks at the book, and sees the paper is spoilt.] Well I can't sign anything now; so how about I let you give me a kiss, and a hug? It's the real thing!

Josephine  [Wipes her face.] Really?

Bobby: [Opens his arms.] 

Josephine  [Hugs him painfully tight. She then kisses his cheek a few times, and hugs him some more.]

Bobby: There, don't you feel better?

Josephine  [Blushes, and smiles as she holds onto him.]

Bobby: [Orates.] "All I ever need is you, to pick up this old man's heart; away your always in my mind, and always in my heart." You remember that honey.

Josephine  [Squeezes.] I will?

Timothy Let's get going E!

Bobby: All right; [To the girl.] Honey, got to let go now - I've got to move on; but you remember what I said all right?

Josephine: [Lets go.] I will? [She steps back.] I will, and I'll watch all your shows!

Bobby: [Stands up.] Watch channel eight in four weeks from today - you'll see me smiling at you.

Josephine: Oh I will! [Picks up her wet book, which Bobby sees has the word, 'Diary' written on the cover.]

Bobby:  See you honey.

Josephine Bye E!

[Bobby and Timothy get into the car. Timothy bursts out laughing as he starts the engine.]

Timothy   Where'd you get that poem from Bobby?

Bobby:  I made it up in-between the words, "Don't break tears on me now!" [Sighs.] Phew! Seeing a girl's tears makes me sweat!

Timothy   I think you're rotten - you made that girl fall in love.

Bobby: Well good? [Smiles.] Being E is a good cruise - I could get used to it...

Timothy   [Drives away.] Well don't! You ain't the big cheese. 

Bobby:  [Shrugs.]

Timothy: Now lets get you home so you can take your undercover disguise off of you. You're kind of freaking me out! If you wear that outfit for any longer, even I'll start calling you E.

Bobby  [Laughs.] 


[E gets home in the early hours of the morning. He stumbles inside the house, and up the stairs. He looks at his bed, and sees that Evelyn is asleep on it. He glances at the baby in the crib next to the bed. E goes over to the crib, and takes a peek. He cringes, and goes to the bathroom for a while. After taking a few pills, and washing the sweat off of his face - he goes back to the bed, and carefully lies down next to Evelyn. He glances at her, and then looks to the ceiling. Finally he closes his eyes and falls asleep.]


[During the day E walks around the house as if in a daze, wondering why he ever complained of not getting any spare time, when its so boring! Timothy and Bobby refuse to move out from their sleeps, and dozes, and Evelyn just flips through magazines all day when not tending to the baby.] 

[When night sets E goes to bed sourly].

Evelyn: [Feels the sourness coming from him.] Hey, are you okay?

E: Sure, I have everything in the world in this room.

Evelyn: [Raises her eyebrows, and then ignores the sarcasm that comes through.] E, I wish you would just drive off when you get sour.

E: Who's sour?

Evelyn: [Looks to E, and then looks away.] Never mind.

E: [Spits, and lays back.]

Evelyn: You're going to spend half the night looking at the ceiling again aren't you?

E: Maybe! Why?

Evelyn: [Sighs.] I'm sorry our baby is not what you wanted. 

E: [Flinches, and glances at Evelyn who has her back turned to him.] 

Evelyn: [Starts to sniffle, as tears leak through her eyes.]

E: [Ignores her, and stares at the ceiling.]


[The next morning the manager comes over to E's estate. E is practising throwing a ball up in the air to amuse himself.]

Manager:  [Gets out of the car, and approaches E.]

E: [Looks to the manager, expecting to see a kind hello - but instead he sees red temper instead. He flinches.] Hey Paps;

Manager:  [Rolls up a newspaper, and starts to hit E as he approaches.]

E: Hey! Hey! Hey! [Grabs the paper, and uses an army move to get it out of his hands, and then pushes the manager onto his knees.]

Manager:  [Sits on the ground, and laughs.]

E: [Stands back on guard.]

Manager:  I should have remembered the army training...

E: Yeah! You should! 

Manager:  [Stands up.] That doesn't mean I'm not still pissed.

E: What's wrong?

Manager:  Unroll the paper...

E: [Unrolls the paper, and sees his name is headlined on the front page.]

[Newspaper reads, "E KISSED ME! - Young fan gets blushed over dreamy kiss.]

Newspaper: Eleven year old Josephine Harris claims that thirty-one year old star E kissed her in the early morning as Josephine walked from her aunts, to her mothers house. When asked about the details Josephine beamed, "It was just like a dream - but it was real! I was walking in the dark, and I saw E come from this building. E saw me, and then I got my first kiss! He is the nicest fella I ever met! I'll never forget it!"

When Josephine was asked whether she would pursue to press charges against the actor, she replied.

"Why would I do that? This is fairytale love - if he wanted to he could do it again!"

Parents are outraged that such a thing could happen. E has been caught in conflict about kissing under-age fans before, but this one takes the cake. How can we support such an unruly star into our TV sets? A vote to get E off air is being taken place this Saturday at an Interstate Council Meeting - if E gets enough votes cast against him, he will be forced to resign as a singer/actor for good.

Manager:  Well?

E: This girl's crazy! 

Manager:  Where were you the night before last?

E: I was here?

Manager:  Were you?

E: [Frowns.] I was out? visiting Pa.

Manager:  Till two am?

E: No, I was driving by that time -  I went to the next state; hell I almost went through the border of the following one.  

Manager:  Truly? Or were you passing by blocks, and stealing kisses?

E: I don't steal kisses - I have plenty of them! 

Manager:  Your career could be hacked.

E: I wasn't there! I don't know who this girl is! I don't like girls! They're? I have a wife!

Manager:  So? 

E: You don't believe me?

Manager:  [Sighs.] I don't know what to believe - but I've sworn that if they don't vote you out, I'll pay for an entourage to surround your daily life to make sure you stay well.

E: An entourage? A public protection ward? Are you kidding?

Manager:  I wish I were... [Takes out a cigar.]

E: This brat is lying! I didn't kiss anyone!

Manager:  I wish I could believe you. [Looks him down.] These payments will decrease your payment cuts - you may well have your payments decreased by twenty percent.

E: Twenty percent?!

Manager:  [Nods.]

E: [Rolls his eyes.] But it wasn't me!

Bobby: [Yells out a window.] Hey! What's all the yacking! I can hear y'all through the house!

E: Nothing!

Manager:  I will have to tell everyone inside the house, even Evelyn - just to make them aware of the type of person that they're living with.

E: But I didn't do it!

Manager:  [Snatches the paper off E.] Will you let me in? Or will I need the police to escort me?

E: [Frowns.] Fine, go? destroy my life! It's a lie! A lie! [Takes his keys, and goes to the garage.]

Manager:  Don't get out of the car for any more fans.

E: A LIE!

[Manager sighs, and goes towards the entrance of the house.]

Evelyn: [Stands in the doorway.] What's the matter?

Manager:  [Holds up the newspaper.] I've got something to discuss.


[The manager motions for Evelyn, Bobby, and Timothy to sit at the table as he explains the current situation.]

Manager:  So E may be forced to resign from show-business, due to the fact that he can't keep his mouth to himself.

Evelyn: [Gasps.]

Timothy:  [Swallows a gulp, and rolls his eyes to Bobby.]

Bobby: [Looks at the newspaper article.]

Manager:  I'm sorry Evelyn. [He stands up.]

Evelyn: Where's E?

Manager:  Gone for a drive.

Bobby: It's a shame he likes to go alone - if he weren't such a secret person, we could back him up in this vote.

Manager:  [Nods, and takes his leave.]

Timothy:  [Ribs Bobby.]

Bobby: [Flinches.] Owww? what?

Timothy:  [Gives him a glare.]

Evelyn: [Puts her head on the table, and cries.]

Bobby: Oh hey? [He moves over to Evelyn, and rubs her shoulders.] It's not your fault.

Evelyn: Oh yes it is? If I hadn't had such a hideous baby this wouldn't have happened! He can't stand us! He can't! This is his way of showing it!

Bobby: We don't know if the girl is telling the truth yet - she may be lying?

Timothy:  I wonder if it's on the news? [Timothy goes to watch TV.]

Evelyn: He was out all night! He can't hide it! 

Bobby: Best you go, and lay down - this is hard for all of us.

Evelyn: I don't want to lay down! Just? hold me! [Evelyn sobs inside Bobby's arms.]

Bobby: [Swallows the words that reveal that he let a young girl kiss him that night.]


[E returns late that afternoon. Bobby and Timothy are having late lunch, and stare at him as he enters.]

E: What are you looking at?

Bobby: [Bites into a sandwich.]

Timothy:  I watched the news.

E: So it's on the news is it?!

Timothy:  Just a small clip - there ain't no way of revealing your innocence? 

E: [Shakes his head.] I was alone. I drove alone. I came back alone. 

Bobby: Did you stop for gas?

E: Unfortunately I
 had a full tank. [E sighs.] I guess all I can do is wait for the worst - if they don't vote me out, we're gonna have a whole new lot of people round us. I'm getting an entourage, a public bodyguard - with pistols in their back pockets, and live rounds in their chest pockets; all for me.

Timothy:  An entourage is not quite like that - it's more of a body block thing...

E: Sure? [Rolls his eyes.] I'm gonna be watched like a hawk - hell, I'll probably have to take a dump with someone watching me. Just like a jailbird. Why don't they just put me in prison!

Bobby: [Angry.] Cause there's no way of showing your guilt, or innocence. 

Timothy:  [Kicks Bobby.]

Bobby: [Grunts.]

E: [E sighs, and runs a hand through his messed up hair.] How's Evelyn?

Bobby: Distraught - see these water stains? [Points to his shoulder.] She thinks it's her fault for not having the kind of baby you wanted.

E: Her and that baby! I don't care about the baby! I just said it don't look like me! If I looked like her, I'd say? wow it's a nice looking baby. I'd hold her up to cameras, and say, "Look! Ain't she a princess!" But it just doesn't look like me! I ain't ever had red hair! If I showed her up to cameras as she was, they'd say, "Look! E, the great singer, can't hold reigns on his wife." Or maybe they'd just put us side by side, and say, "Father?"

Timothy:  Calm down E. 

E: If I thought it weren't mine, I would have thrown it off a bridge! 

Timothy:  Calm down.

E: No? I would have thrown Evelyn off a bridge. [Narrows his eyes.] I would have said, "Swim home honey, we're through!" But I didn't, why? Cause I care for her! I don't know crap about what our baby should be like! If she sports red hair first, and then it colours brown later - then fine; the baby must just take after her mother? but I just don't know!

Timothy:  [Yells.] Stop!

E: [Looks at Timothy.]

Bobby: What's up your nostrils?

Timothy:  I'm sick of everyone talking! I'm sick of everything! All this sneaking around, all of this suspicion? I've got something to tell you E. [Slaps down his share of the twenty grand on the table.] 

Bobby: [Stands up with a threatening attitude.]

Timothy:  [Looks to Bobby, and flinches.]

E: [Stares at the money in a daze for a moment, and then looks at Timothy.] What's that for?

Timothy:  [Looks to E, and swallows his guilt.] I? [Thinks.] I? [He pauses.] I am so damn sure that you will not be voted to go, that I will put down five thousand dollars to make you see you will never be through. Talent is never voted away.

E: [Smiles.] Thanks Timothy. [Pats him on the shoulder.] But keep your money pal. [Sighs, and goes up the stairs.]

Bobby: [Sits down, and sighs.]

Timothy:  [Takes back his money, shakes his head at Bobby, and whispers.] I told you not to stop!

Bobby: Quiet! You don't know it wasn't him.

Timothy:  [Stares hard.] I would bet twenty grand that this incident is a load of ball fluff! [Walks away.]


[E slips into the room, and watches Evelyn. He smiles thoughtfully. E then goes over to the baby's crib where Eve sleeps. He leans over it, and moves to touch one of her small hands - but a second thought pulls him away. 

E goes to the bathroom cabinet, and loosens his collar. He looks at himself, and scowls.]

E: I used to get high to get you looking younger - now I just don't know if I have it in me to get up any-more. [E stares closely at his reflection.] You are screwed. [E smiles, then leans down, pours water over his face, and pats it dry with a hand towel. E looks in the mirror, and then throws the mirror aside in order to look inside the cabinet for some pills. He gets a few out, and swallows them fast. He moves to brush his teeth - but laziness overcomes him, and so he just washes out his mouth with mouth rinse.  He then leaves to go to bed.]


[In the morning E ambles down the staircase stretching off his sleep, when Timothy cries for him to get into the TV room. E follows, un-lifted by Timothy's hype.]

Timothy:  Watch this! [He turns on the television.]

Reporter01: So Josephine, what do you think should happen to E?

Josephine: [Thinks as cameras flick in her face.] I think that nothing should happen to him. I would stand under this country's great flag, and pray that every person in the world gets such fine treatment. E is a good person. I would never discharge him from any kind of service - be it protecting the country, or performing for it.

Reporter02: What made you want to tell the world about your brush with E in the first place?

Josephine: [Smiles.] I tattle-tale. I couldn't keep my big mouth shut. Unfortunately I think someone who works for the paper heard me, I think they got the wrong kind of idea.

Reporter01: What do you think they got wrong?

Josephine: The way they look at it - it wasn't wrong, or dirty like my pa says; it was just the sweetest thing - like how a friend, or a sister, kisses you, you know? But it was E!

E: I never kissed the brat!

Timothy:  Shhh!

Reporter02: So you would tell the parents to keep their business to themselves, and not cast any kind of vote either way?

Josephine: I'd tell them to grow up.

[Reporters laugh.]

[End of report.]

Timothy:  What do you think?

E: I think? she's still lying! I never looked at a kid!

Bobby: I think it's confusing...

E: [Grimaces.] I think I'm going to get an entourage.

Timothy:  I think it's good news.

E: [Rolls his eyes.] I think I want to eat - who's up for deep fried burgers?

Bobby: [Stares at the TV.]

Timothy:  I'll help you, maybe they won't get burnt this time.


[The meeting is actioned - the result is that they want E, and Josephine, to stand under the flag, and take an oath. They also want an entourage around E as he continues on with his activities.]


[E is sent to a media room where a flag is set up. E stands sourly, and Josephine stands next to him, as they repeat an oath. At the end Josephine hugs E, which he kneels down for. Lastly she give him a peck on the cheek. E is stiff as a board, and cold as Antarctica - he stares off into space, and tries to vacate the room through his mind. Camera's flash around everywhere.]


[E gets an entourage made up of nine people - they move in immediately. He hates them - they are loud, they eat, and they take up room. At first Evelyn gets stressed - but then she starts playing mistress, and starts having a ball. She tells people when to move, she tells them when to be quiet, and she bosses their position and activity with one word. Then she settles down and sits with them, and talks to them. E walks around the place wondering if they really do anything - at least two follow his movements like spies.]

E: [Phones up his manager.] When are they leaving Pa?

Manager:  When you ain't no star.

E: I hate them!

Manager:  Put up with it.

E: They are loud, and they take up the best places of the house!

Manager:  Just ignore them.

E: I have to hide in my room, and baby sit.

Manager:  It's a good bonding experience.

E: Get me some work Pa!

Manager:  I'll let you know - bye E. [He hangs up.]

E: Bye?

[Bobby comes out of the lounge with his head on fire, and heads to the kitchen for a drink.]

E: Hey..

Bobby: Hi.

E: What's the matter?

Bobby: Nothing.

E: No, something's up...

Bobby: I hate those people!

E: So do I.

Bobby: They just sit there drinking, smoking, and pill popping.

E: I know.

Bobby: It's gross.

E: It's protection.

Bobby: It's a threat. I want them out.

E: They won't go until they are told to.

Bobby: [Looks around.] Are you alone?

E: Nope, the boys are on the other side of the door. [He points to the next door.]

Bobby: Why are they there?

E: I did a huge fart - they didn't like it.

Bobby: [Smiles.] I'll have to practise that.

E: [Smiles.]

Bobby: So, still no work?

E: Nope.

Bobby: Shame that?

E: Damn shame.

Bobby: Well? take it easy, huh?

E: [Nods his head.]


[A few weeks pass. E is shown on television doing an interview. E is asleep upstairs when it's on, and doesn't see it. Evelyn watches the TV programme with Bobby, and Timothy.]

[On screen.]

Presenter: So how do you feel about the success you've had so far?

Bobby/E:  I feel as though its been the best experience of my life.

Presenter: You've broken out into cinema as well - what has that been like?

Bobby/E:  Fun, fun, fun! I get paid to kiss girls, while I murmur a few swift lines. It's a great living. I could do with more of that kind of stuff.

Presenter: One director has said, "E is one of the worst actors around, but he films so well you can't stop watching him."

Bobby/E:  I am handsome, huh?

Presenter: You have no other comments regarding that statement?

Bobby/E:  [Thinks.] I wouldn't say I was the worst of actors - I'm the main part; main parts don't get bad actors, just bad stunt men.

Presenter: [Laughs.]

Bobby/E:  [Claps.] Let's get off the acting now - I've got to talk about my new album; most people have forgotten I'm a hell of a kick ass singer!

Presenter: You have a new album coming out?

Bobby/E:  That's right - with the best songs ever heard. 

Presenter: Sing a song for us.

Bobby/E:  [Humms.] Okay, but you have to clap your hands because there's no music. [He starts to clap.]

Presenter: [Smiles, and follows.]

Bobby/E:  Wait, let's stand up. [Stands up clapping on beat.]

Presenter: [Follows with a smile.]

Bobby/E:  Baby? uh-hu-m baby? You got me falling over my shoes. Baby? uh-hu-m you drive me crazy; so crazy I don't know what to do-do. You got me trip-ping over the tables, and fal-ling over my tongue; You got my insides so hot I'm sweating, as though I've been out for a run. I want you and me with a love so faithfully it's crushing me to the core, cause I'm falling so very fast I cannot breathe anymore. Then there you are standing at my door, and I'm falling right to the floor - I want to scream out how my heart loves you so much more then any before, cause you are
 my baby... [Stops.] Well, that's a portion of one.

Presenter: Wow, that's catchy! I can see me humming that home!

Bobby/E:  That's a fun one.

Presenter: [Smiles.]

Bobby/E:  There are different tunes - there are slow ones too like? "Love me, and leave it be? love me tenderly? cause my love is with you?. always with you?

Presenter: Oooh, that's good one - I could fall asleep to it.

Bobby/E:  Well, you're not supposed to do that!

Presenter: [Pretends to sleep, and hums the tune.]

Bobby/E:  [Laughs.]

Presenter: Well thanks for coming tonight E.

Bobby/E:  It's been a pleasure.

Presenter: [Talks into the camera.] Remember folks, look into your guide, and turn to page twenty-three for a full-page photo of the man himself, shot in these studios by our company photographer. It's been a pleasure to have you watching, good night!

Evelyn: [Picks up the guide, and turns to page twenty-three.] Wow! 

Bobby: [Looks to Evelyn.] What?

Evelyn: I need to go upstairs. [Goes upstairs with the magazine. Evelyn enters the bedroom, and finds E asleep. She looks at the picture, and then at E. She smiles, and walks to him. Evelyn puts the magazine on the night stand, then leans over, and kisses E.]

E: [Wakes up.] What?

Evelyn: [Kisses him some more.]

E: [Lets her, and feels pretty good when she slides on the bed to lie next to him - but then E looks across, sees the magazine, and stops her.] Why are you kissing me?

Evelyn: Cause I want to...

E: [Smiles, nods, then reaches behind her for the magazine.] Nothing to do with what you've been reading huh?

Evelyn: [Gasps.] Don't! 

E: [Snatches the magazine, sits up, and opens it.] Hmmm? handsome guy. 

Evelyn: [Sits up, and puts a hand to her head.] E!

E: Not now Evelyn, I'm looking at something... [He frowns.] I come out pretty good - better then real life, wouldn't you say?

Evelyn: [Looks at the picture, and then at E.]

E: [Smiles, and gets up.]

Evelyn: What are you doing?

E: I'm doing what should always have been done. [Goes to the bathroom, and starts ripping up the picture.]

Evelyn: [Gasps, and runs into the bathroom to find pieces of a picture floating into the toilet bowl.] What are you doing that for?!

E: Just to see if you mean what you say? [Flushes it, and then returns to the bed.] Now let's see if you're in the mood.

Evelyn: How dare you think that I wanted to be affectionate with you because of some stupid picture! 

E: Then why don't you get over here, and give me some sugar?

Evelyn: [Scowls, then decides to grab a brush, and brush her hair instead.]

E: Honey?

Evelyn: [Bushes her hair.]

E: I've got a tank of full loving for you?

Evelyn: [Bushes her hair ignoring E.]

E: Lot's of E love - right here, and now... Opening season?

Evelyn: [Brushes her hair.]

E: [Takes out the picture from his pocket, and walks up to her.]

Evelyn: [Looks steadily into the mirror while she brushes her hair.]

E: [Puts the picture up to his face, and stands behind her.] How about now?

Evelyn: [Looks into the reflection, and blushes when she sees the picture.]

E: [Takes the picture down.] Ha! Just as I thought! [Looks at it.] Do you really think this looks like me?

Evelyn [Looks at him.] No? you're a lot fatter. 

E: [Looks at her reflection, scowls, and then tosses the paper onto the small table top on which she keeps her perfumes and things.] Here, I think this will make you happier then I ever could. [Turns, and heads for the door.]

Evelyn: [Smiles at the picture, and stops brushing her hair.]

E: [Glances back at Evelyn when at the door, while she shifts her make-up around on the small make-up table until it stands the picture in place. He scoffs as she then sits down, and stares at it. E leaves.]

[E barges down the stairs, and heads for the front door. He hears a cry, a whistle, and soon four entourage members are following in his trail.]

Ian:  Where are we going E?

Kelly: Yeah! Where are we going?

Sandy: Is it to a shop? I'm so hungry! I want one of those meals on the go.

Casey: You, and your stomach! [Gives him a punch.]

E: [Stops, and turns to face them.] Are you kidding? You think this is a joyride? You aren't my buddies! We're not going shopping! I'm pissed - I want to get out of this hell hive, right now!

Kelly: Then let's go!

E: [Frowns, then turns, and barges to the garage.]

[They all move to hop into a car - Kelly stops E before he gets inside the drivers side.]

Kelly: Ah-uh, uh. Rules are, no driving - it's in the back for you.

E: How the hell am I supposed to drive off steam if I'm sitting in the back?

Kelly: It's still getting you away from the house... [Kelly snatches the keys in E's hand, and hops in the drivers side of the car.]

E: [E fumes. He hesitates. Then he hops in the back, and sulks.]

Casey: Hey? it's not all bad. [Takes out some gum.] Want a piece?

E: No thank you.

Casey: [Shrugs, and puts a piece of gum inside of his mouth.]

Sandy: So, where are we off to?

Kelly: I'm just the driver - ask E.

E: [Shrugs.] To the next state.

Kelly: Right-o.

Casey: How long does that take?

Kelly: [Shrugs.] I don't know.

E: Have you ever been there?

Kelly: Uhmm? maybe?

Sandy: [Snickers.]

E: Great! [Crosses his arms.] Well you have to turn right, then right, then right? then hit hard on highway number two thirteen.

Kelly: Got it.

Sandy: How many times you been there E?

E: Oh, just the once...

Casey: I really want some food.

Sandy: Well, you'll just have to wait.

Casey: Man! I should have grabbed something on the way out. 

E: [Sulks, and stares out the window.]


[The trip is long - E gets thoroughly bored as the tyres make mileage. His entourage stop for snacks, and then they keep on going. As they near to the border of the third state, E speaks up.]

E: This ain't making me feel better - let's head home.

Kelly: Sure thing E! [Kelly turns the car around, and heads back.]


[E falls asleep on the way back - when he wakes it's the dusk of the next morning, and the car is still driving.]

E: Hey? why aren't we back?

Kelly: [Clears his throat.] We needed a stop.

Casey: Your driver fell asleep.

Kelly: On the side of the road.

E: Well whatever? [Looks to Casey.] Give me some of those chips there...

Casey: [Passes him the chips.]

E: [Snacks until they get back to the house.]


[They stop on the front drive.]

Kelly: Home sweet home.

E: Great! [Goes inside the house, and up the stairs - he enters his room, and sees Evelyn asleep with the picture on his pillow. He shrugs, and goes to have a shower. He's halfway getting undressed when he hears a scream - it's the baby. E hurries out, and looks at the child - he looks to Evelyn who stays sound asleep. E then bends to pick the baby up.] Hey, it's all right don't cry?

Eve:  [Cries.]

E: Hey? hey? uhm... [Sings.] Twinkle, twinkle diamond star, won't they one day wonder who you are, when you're way up high and lining the sky, till the day they die they'll scream for you?

Eve:  [Wails.]

E: [Frowns.] Hey, Evelyn! Wake up honey this is your business - I ain't making nothing better here! [E looks to Evelyn.] Evelyn? Evelyn! [Kicks the bed.]

Evelyn: [Stays sound asleep.]

E: Oh, playing pretend nap huh? All right? I'll play pretend? I'll pretend she likes? [Thinks.] Make up! Yeah, all girls like that! [E takes Eve into the bathroom, and props her up on the sink. He looks at Evelyn's make-up, then at the baby, and realises it's not going to work. He then looks at the magazine on the counter, grabs it, and sits on the bathroom rug with the baby.] Hey, you'll like this - pictures!

Eve:  [Cries.]

E: Look! There's a celebrity! We call them the stars - the big penguins of the day. They look down their noses on everyone, and spit at all the people who come to this crummy town to make a buck. 

Eve:  [Cries.]

E: Won't you be quiet! I'm trying the best I can! [E jiggles her a little, and then turns the page.] So this here is another celebrity image. Look that's faux fur, and that's a mirror in the back, and that's a comb in her hand, and the shadow behind is that of a dangerous person? Looks like a good movie, huh?

Eve:  [Wails.]

E: [Turns the page.] Look here! Coat and tie, straight black hair, gold watch, make up? doesn't he look good? 

Eve:  [Cries.]

E: Shhhhh! [Throws the magazine away, and then pokes Eve's little mouth with his finger.] Quiet.

Eve:  [Starts to suckle on E's finger.]

E: [Is stunned.] Oh, like the finger do you? It's probably not so clean, and it probably has potato chip grease on it?

Eve:  [Sucks.]

E: Well, if that's your fancy? [E leans back against the wall.] Suck away. [He smiles, and relaxes.]


[After a very long while Eve falls asleep. E notices it, then finally gets up, and puts her back in her crib. He tucks her under her little blanket, and then goes over to Evelyn who is also asleep.]

E: [Looks to Evelyn, then puts the picture away, and goes to lay down.] Sure is a funny day? [Looks to his finger, smiles, and then looks to Evelyn.] Hey?you awake? Evelyn? [Pauses.] I guess not? [Looks to the ceiling, and then closes his eyes.]


[E wakes up at midday. He is alone. He gets up, opens the door, and goes down the stairs. At a table in one of the spare rooms Evelyn, and the entourage, are having a feast of sandwiches, and drink. Evelyn laughs, and the whole group laughs. E shrugs, and goes back to his room. He looks over the cot, and sees Eve asleep. He smiles, and then goes to the phone to ring his manager.]

Manager:  Hello.

E: Pa!

Manager:  E? how is everything?

E: You gotta get this rabble off my back! I can't do anything by myself.

Manager:  That's how it's supposed to be...

E: But?. [He sighs.]

Manager:  We've talked about this E.

E: But?

Manager:  It was a council decision.

E: But?

Manager:  It doesn't matter if that girl wanted to be kissed, or not - the truth is?

E: Where's the proof?

Manager:  Precaution is always best applied.

E: Yeah,
 but it's like swinging a guilty sign in front of my face when I haven't done anything!

Manager:  The place the girl identified was outside a studio where you filmed this week's interview. Though I don't like to find out that you're getting your own way around studios, it does pinpoint the likelihood?

E: What interview?

Manager:  Don't be blaze E?

E: I haven't the faintest idea what you're rambling on about!

Manager:  E? don't? [He rubs his head.]

E: Don't what?! I haven't been any place! They're making it up!

Manager:  For heaven's sake E - the whole country saw it on television! [Lowers voice.] Now stop spitting, start telling yourself that this is just deserts, and stop annoying me! [Hangs up.]

E: [Looks to the phone, and then drops it.] This whole town is crazy! [E paces back, and forth - his mind on fire. He then catches sight of the picture, and picks it up. He looks at it hard, and frowns.] I don't remember this? [E goes into the bathroom, and finds the rest of the magazine. He puts the page back in place, and reads the small article on the following page. He reads it aloud.] See E discuss his latest work, his love-life, and watch him sing this Thursday?. [E flips to the television time-table, and reads it.] Flatwork Studio presents E?. [He frowns.] Flatwork Studio? [E goes to the telephone, and gets an operator on line.] Hello operator? Get me Flatwork Studio!

[E gets the phone number.]

E: [Mutters.] Now we're going to get to the bottom of this!  [E waits as the call connects.]

Crew01: Hello? Flatwork Studio.

E: Hi! This is E - the actor/singer?

Crew01: Oh? [E pauses, and then cheers.] How are you? Did you watch the television the other day? 

E: I'm afraid I missed it - I also missed the part where I recorded it! I propose that you have put on television someone who isn't me.

Crew01: [Pauses.]

E: I would like to come down to the studio with my manager.

Crew01: Hold please. [Crew01 goes and discusses something with another member, and then comes back to the phone.] When would you like to come?

E: Right now! [Takes out a pen, and paper.] I'll need your address!

[E gets the address, then phones the manager who agrees to be dragged along despite the fact that his mind doesn't want to. E gives the manager the address, and then goes to the car while being followed by two entourage members who are actually still alert to the fact that they are working, and that E is the one that is supposed to be watched - not Evelyn.]


[E gets in the back of the car, Sandy sits in the drivers seat, and Casey sits in the front passenger seat.]

Sandy: I feel like chauffeur! All I need is a hat. I'm gonna have to buy a hat next time I have a day free.

Casey: You'd look good with a hat...

Sandy: [Raises him a brow.]

Casey: I mean, it'd make you look like a chauffeur...

Sandy: [Shrugs.] So E, why are we heading to this place?

E: Just you keep to your business.

Sandy: [Shrugs.] So Casey? awww, forget it - I'm not good at keeping conversation afloat anyway.


[They drive to the studio, and park behind the manager's car who waits with a cigar steaming from his mouth. He waves at E who emerges from the back, and then blinks at the other two people who hop out of the car at the front.]

Manager:  Your party don't need to come in.

E: These ain't my friends Pa - they're the entourage I'm talking about. They follow me everywhere. 

Sandy: That's right, but don't worry Paps - we'll just be in the distance.

Manager:  [Nods, and walks with E inside.]


[Inside the three crew members who filmed, and photographed E, meet up with the visitors.]

Manager:  My client here tells me he never showed up at this place.

Crew02: Well, that's not what we think.

Crew01: He was here with a small fellow a month back.

Manager:  E, did you come here with a small fellow a month back?

E: No. I would always have brought you, no one else. 

Manager:  He would have always have brought me, cause I'm his manager you see.

Crew01: [Flinches.]

Crew03: Then who the hell did we give twenty grand to?

Manager:  [Looks to E.] Twenty grand?

E: [Shrugs, and shakes his head.]

Crew03: [Looks closely at E.] You look just like this guy then did, but different clothes. You sure you don't have a twin?

Sandy: I can assure you he doesn't!

[Everyone turns to glance at Sandy, and then turns back to resume talking.]

Casey: [Ribs Sandy.]

Manager:  That's the thing about this business, it's filled with as many shades as there are lights. Now how about you show us this impersonator again?

E: I think that's a fine idea - I haven't seen this joke yet!

Crew03: [Nods.] Follow me.


[E sits with the Manager in a small room as they watch the show with the other three crew members watching on, and the two entourage members in the background who stand trying to mind their own business. When it finishes E turns to the Manager - the manager looks at him.]

Crew03: So? What do you think?

Crew01: It seems pretty genuine to me. [To E.] Are you sure you're not trying to swivel our minds about, so that you can get those charges?.

Manager:  This has nothing to do with those accusations!

Crew03: Though it would wipe them off, give E a clean slate...

Sandy: Let's not get off the track here - the point is E claims he wasn't here. So give him a test track on the same song, and compare it already!

[The whole group turns to look at Sandy, and then turn back.]

Casey: [Gives him a hit on the arm with his right hand.]

E: [Murmurs to the manager.] I don't talk like I did in that interview - I save my best policies for them, you know that.

Manager:  [To the crew.] What do you think of testing him?

Crew03: It will waste our resources!

Manager:  Either you do it, or we're going to have a mighty hard case to fight. You don't want us fighting against you, do you?

Casey: [Looks at the expressions change on the crew's faces.]

Crew03: We just don't have the money to spare - we're blowing up our time management system just to see you today. You'll not only eat up our time, but we'll loose clients, have work overtime, and pick up on an off beat every day. E you say that you're always polite? Well I can argue that you were no doubt on drugs that night, so you're memory might be hazy. So, your policies are stretched, and are off key - that's what happens when you've blown your brains to be a spectacle.

Manager:  [Thinks.]

Casey: Well, there is a difference to be noticed if you look, and compare?

Sandy: [Turns to Casey with a smile, and biffs the back of his head.]

Casey: [Rubs.]

[The group look at Casey.]

Manager:  What are you talking about?

Casey: [Stops rubbing, and looks at the group.] Well, it's the hair - the other night it looked loose, like it were a wig just waiting to slip... 

Crew03: [Frowns, quickly rewinds the tape, and studies closely.] You're right?

Manager:  [Looks.]

[The rest of the crew look.]

E: [Smiles.] I think you got it there.

Sandy: [To Casey.] How'd you get so smart?

Crew03: So now what?

Manager:  [Looks to E.] How about we take a copy of this, and show it to the council?

Crew03: [Puts his head in his hands.]

Manager:  [Puts a hand on his shoulder.] You? get to writing an apology letter, and post it in the paper, before I sue you for defamation. 

[E and the Manager get their tape, and head off with the entourage members to the council. They get a meeting with the town's mayor, but get rebuked.]

Mayor: There's no way I am taking down the public protection board's decision.

E: Why not?

Manager:  This clears E - I can get other tapes?

Mayor: We don't have an identity problem. So, this case may be an impostor - that's one bait off the hook. We have other cases regarding this particular human. [Looks to E with hate.]

Manager:  Like what?

 Mayor: A girl at a hotel complained to a woman's group of having been used by this man, when he stayed at a hotel close to his arrival back from overseas. [Takes out a file and puts down a picture.] She's a member of the WCA now. Then you have a case from several years back, same thing... [He takes out a newspaper clipping.] A mother complained about her child, and a group of other children, being kissed by this man? [He takes out some more papers.] We have psychiatric reports, and doctors reports, saying how she needed to be placed on some medication to resume normal day to day functioning. Then there's one report from a psychiatrist, [He takes out another slip.] explaining the recounts of the young girl who was mentioned in an article about the same time. She almost got filed as a missing person, before she showed up at a station saying she was just 'lost due to a case of misdirection, and wanted to go home.' This last report is most serious. The same girl claims she was hijacked just so that an unspecified person could, 'resume forced relationships of a demoralising nature.' [Looks to E.] 'Resume forced relationships of a demoralising nature.'

E: [Flinches, and looks to the Manager.]

Manager:  So what? Unspecified is unspecified; and there was no case with that newspaper report - as I recall it was a friend of that missing girl that was claiming false reports. [Leans forward.] You do know those girls stalked him...

 Mayor: [Smiles, and takes out one more piece of paper.] A spectator wrote this down, and posted it to the police. It claims that a singing group was rushed at by a crowd after a performance at an RSL - a girl hit a wall and was ambling around disorientated, when an unidentifiable fella grabbed her, and forced her in the back of a celebrity car. Suspected kidnap is pronounced in the last sentence. Just so happened to be that the same girl was missing for a couple of days, and returned before any investigations turned serious. You were performing there that night, weren't you E? [Takes out a couple of tickets.] 

E: I never grabbed no girl. 

Mayor: Perhaps not? but it doesn't mean
 you didn't end up with her, does it? You all grouped in the same car didn't you?

E: [Frowns.]

Manager:  [Looks to E, and frowns.]

E: [Looks to Manager, and then looks to the table.]

Mayor: You schmuck you should be in jail! Luck has been on your side so far - but I've had it. This approved action ensures no more rumours, and no more parental worries. Your public protection group is going to stay with you night and day, till the day your soul is put out of service. Do you understand? 

E: [Scowls.]

Mayor: You thought we were stupid didn't you? You thought if it's not is your state, it's not our problem! Wrong. We keep an eye on people like you - now get out of my office, before I throw you out...  [Tosses E the tape.] Take your little tape with you.

E: [Rises with a mouth of cement, and walks out.]

Manager:  [Follows E.]

[Sandy, and Casey who are outside the door follows E as he emerges from the office.]

[Outside the building the Manager calls E to stop.]

E: Not now! [Hops into his car, and locks the door.]

[Sandy and Casey hop into the front.]

E: Lock the doors! I don't want that old goat in here!

Sandy: [Locks his door before the manager reaches for it.]

E: Let's go! I need some food. I'm hypoglycaemic today! 

Casey: [Locks his door, and buckles up.] Finally! Someone's talking about food!

Sandy: The meeting didn't go well?

E: A few things came up? Nothing is gonna get me free of you guys now - this video was trash to him. Forget evidence! 

Casey: I don't understand - he wouldn't look at it?

E: Oh no, he looked at it all right; then he claimed it was insufficient. 

Casey: Wow, I thought it would be...

Sandy: It's probably a political thing. [Drives off leaving the manager looking dumbfounded on the curb.] It's like that?

E: So, it looks like we'll have to be best pals now that we're going to be practically married to one another.

Casey: Oh? [Turns, and smiles.] Hey there pal!

E: [Stares like he's weird.]

Sandy: [Laughs.] Turn around, and watch for pigeons.

Casey: Well I thought that's how pals say hi.

[The car turns silent.]

E: You know what? I want to get the biggest, maddest, most high cholesterol burger you can find - my stomach is crunching on me.

Casey: Then you want a "Big Boy's Belly Busting Burger!" 

E: Big Boy?

Casey: Yeah, it's out on the highway, lane one seventeen. You drive for an hour, come to this stop, and inside you order a Big Boy. It has everything - it's so big you can make three burgers out of it! It takes two days to digest!

E: [Nods.] Then that's what I'm gonna have, right now.

Sandy: [Smiles.] Yes sir!


[They drive out of town, stop at the burger place, order their burgers and drinks, and then sit in a booth listening to modern music as they eat.]

Casey: This beat is giving me a headache.

Sandy: Really? I think it's catchy! [Looks to E.] Must be kind of weird, sitting in an eatery, and listening to your own tune. I'd be? [Thinks.] I'm not sure how I'd react... 

E: [Stares at his burger, as he chews on some fries.]

Sandy: I know what you're thinking - you're thinking, how the hell can I eat this? Start from the top, and work to the bottom - that's what I do. [Picks up his burger and eats.]

E: [Eats another fry, and keeps staring at the burger for a while before he gets the guts to eat it.]

[The group leave the eatery with full stomachs, and waddle their way to the car. They hop inside with groans moaning from their lips.]

E: [Sits uncomfortably.]

Casey: Man! I can hardly get a seat belt across!

Sandy: You just have to adjust it there?

Casey: I know! [He concentrates on loosening the strap.]

Sandy: So E - where to?

E: [Shrugs.] Where do pals go?

Sandy: [Thinks, and shrugs.] A roller skating place?

E: [Grimaces.] No, that won't gel with me.

Sandy: Uh, [To Casey.] Where do they go?

Casey: [Concentrates on the buckle.] I don't know - bowling?

Sandy: What about bowling E?

E: No?

Casey: [Gets the strap loose, and buckles.] Man, I can't move! I'm full from my stomach to my thighs!

Sandy: Serves you right! You ate two of those devils eggs.

Casey: [Smiles.] Maybe I'll start hatching them.

Sandy: [Smiles.] Undoubtedly you will - but not for hatching. [Laughs.]

Casey: You got it right there!

E: How about some range? You know? I feel like I want to be more?

Casey: Cowboy?

E: [Nods.]

Sandy: So a pistol range? [Looks to his stomach.] Well, it beats walking!

Casey: I know! The Great Western Ranch on Ohilio Drive, route one-hundred and twenty-one. I know where it is!

Sandy: How do you know of these places?

Casey: I'm a western fan since birth. I grew up believing I'd be a cowboy. I went in for a movie interview once! [Shrugs.] They said I was too short, and young'n. 

Sandy: Not rough enough?!

Casey: What do they care about skill though - I can send a bullet straight through a testiculi from a hillside away!

Sandy: [Groans and starts the car.] That's scary. 

Casey: [Shrugs.] Well, that may be a slight exaggeration - but I'm good! I can say that much! [To E.] I'll show you a few tricks if you want?

E: [Smiles.] That'll be swell.


[The three go to a firing ranch, and to Sandy and Casey's surprise E outshines the both of them. After shooting away their bullets, they hop into the car, and drive back to the house. When there, E goes up to his room where he finds Evelyn.]

E: Hi.

Evelyn: Where'd you go?

E: Out for a drive with the boys.

Evelyn: You got a call? [Looks at a letter in her hand.] Well, more then a call?

E: [Grabs the letter cross.] You opening my mail?

Evelyn: What am I supposed to do? You never tell me anything!

E: You are supposed to trust me! [Looks at the letter, and then frowns.] Who delivered this?

Evelyn: Your manager.

E: [Picks up the phone.] I'm gonna have to phone him right away!

Evelyn: [Sits on the bed.]

E: Yeah? Pa? What is it?

Evelyn: [Listens.]

E: Uh-hu? uh-hu? Oh! [Listens.] Uh-hu? well, if that's the way it is then... [Short sigh.] I guess that's it. [Listens.] Uh-hu? uh-hu? mmm-hmm? uh-hu? Okay then - bye. [Hangs up.]

Evelyn: Well?

E: The old goat doesn't want to be my manager no more.

Evelyn: Oh E!

E: Oh nothing! I don't need him - I'll be my own manager! I'm on demand, I'm on top!  You can't shoot a top gun down - they are the bullet! [Looks to Evelyn.] So, that means if you stay, it won't be because you were ordered here... [Frowns.] 

Evelyn: Oh! [Turns her back to E.]

E: Is that my answer? You stop getting paid to be my wife, and you wanna drop the act?

Evelyn: I don't know! Let me think about it?

E: [Frowns, and nods.] Yeah, you think about it? [Clears his throat.] I tell you one thing comes up, and it just shoots off something else - it's like ? [E looks at Evelyn's back.] Well, I guess my thoughts don't matter to you at all - excuse me. [E goes out of the room.]

Evelyn: [Looks at the crib where the baby lies, and wipes a tear from her eyes.] I guess I could?. [She rolls her eyes.] He isn't bankrupt?  we could just pretend? until something new comes? maybe? [She sighs, and sits in front of the mirror and cries.] Oh E! 

Bobby: [From the door.] There's a sad face.

Evelyn: Bobby! What are you doing here?

Bobby: E is getting settled with the boys - said my spot was his favourite, and so I decided to go for a walk. I was gonna make some tuna fish buns - I know you like them so I came to see?

Evelyn: [Cries.]

Bobby: What's the matter?

Evelyn: E just got dropped by his manager.

Bobby: Oh, that all?

Evelyn: That all?!

Bobby: Stars get dropped all the time - if they're big enough they can pick up a new one. Some stars prefer to use many managers through their careers.

Evelyn: [Sighs.] E's going to manage himself.

Bobby: [Shrugs.] So what's wrong with that?

Evelyn: So he can't manage!

Bobby: [Smiles.] So he can't manage? Or he can't manage to get you a handsome allowance?

Evelyn: [Turns to face Bobby.] Okay, so I'm thinking about me! What's wrong with that?

Bobby: [Smiles.] Nothing - I'm thinking about my allowance all the time... wondering where I'll get my next one? [Smiles.]

Evelyn: Something went wrong Bobby! I don't know what's happened!

Bobby: Yeah? [Rubs his chin.] Look, just take things as they come, or divorce him now while he still has a fortune - you'll get half easily.

Evelyn: Half? [Sighs.] That won't make me look respectable! No! I can't! I've got to stay a while! Yes? [She fidgets.]

Bobby: Did you really marry just because you were paid to?

Evelyn: [Smiles.] A group of us were milling about, and we were asked if we would like to marry E - I shot my hand right up. I don't really understand it - I knew of him of course, but? [She sighs.] I guess I was curious. [Smiles.]

Bobby: Curious?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.]

Bobby: Hmmm? [Turns.] So, you want something or not?

Evelyn: I could use a sandwich? [Feels her stomach, and realises it's not that hungry.]

Bobby: Then I'll make you one too.

Evelyn: Thanks Bobby.


[E sits down stairs staring at the TV screen. He looks at the news, with sullen interest, as he grates about what has happened to his career, and his future.]


[Weeks pass, and E doesn't do anything but muck around with his entourage who has quickly become his new friends. He tussles with them, goes driving, and goes shopping - it's like childhood times, but at his expense; everyone has a good time. 

Evelyn mopes around the house feeling left out, and worries about her husband's expenditures. She walks around alone - sometimes ignoring Eve as she cries upstairs. 

E eats heavily fattening food items, and puts on weight as more weeks pass. He is not ready for a movie role if it came shooting at him. One evening Evelyn chirps up about it.]

Evelyn: [Watches E as he gets into bed.] What have you been eating? 

E: Nothing - just burgers, and fries.

Evelyn: Well eat some salad for heaven's sake!

E: [Frowns, and looks at himself.] I haven't put on much - you on the
 other hand?

Evelyn: Me?!

E: Well, you haven't been walking around, and?

Evelyn: [Turns her back, and refuses to listen.]

E: [Turns, reaches to his bedside desk, pushes a hand inside the drawer, takes out a few pills, and swallows them.] There, simple as pie.

Evelyn: You're going to need more then that if you keep eating the way you do?

E: [Smiles.] Then I'll worry about that when it comes.


[Six months pass. The entourage get bumped right off their guard as their enjoyment overrides their responsibilities. E wanders around with them, and they talk over the smallest things like the best of pals. E decides to buy a jacket - they all get interested. E decides to buy a pen - they tell him the best stores. Finally he asks a question about guns.]

E: Hey pals, I want a gun to practice shooting at home - where's the best place?

Casey: McMatheews Rifle Palace is out on route three-hundred and twenty-four. It takes a while to get there though.

E: I've got days?


[Evelyn sits at home with Bobby who gets more interested in television then anything else.]

Evelyn: There anything good on?

Bobby: No, not really.

Evelyn: [Swallows.] You look good?

Bobby: [Smiles.] Thanks.

Evelyn: Well look at me for heaven's sake!

Bobby: [Turns to look at Evelyn.] Why?

Evelyn: I can't keep talking to your hair!

Bobby: [Smiles.] I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted?

Evelyn: [Runs to him.] You gotta find out if there's any money - I keep thinking he's throwing it away on his outings! I keep thinking?.

Bobby: Don't worry, E will tell you if he gets into trouble?

Evelyn: Will he Bobby? [Pauses.] What if he just comes in, and says he's lost it all - then what?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] Then we all go home.

Evelyn: What about Eve?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] I don't know sweetheart, stop bugging me. He's not lost his money so far - that much I know.

Evelyn: I was thinking? [Evelyn rings her hands.] You look so much like him when you're done up? maybe we could partner?

Bobby: Oh no, no, no - last time I did that I ruined his? [Looks to Evelyn and coughs on his words.]

Evelyn: [Frowns.] What?

Bobby: Never mind.

Evelyn: You ruined his what? [Thinks.] His? reputation? [She thinks.] You? [Evelyn frowns, and then gasps.] You touched that child?!

Bobby: No, no - I just hugged her because she was cryin.

Evelyn: So it wasn't E? You could have?.

Bobby: [Butts in.] I could have done a lot of things! But I didn't.

Evelyn: You should have said something!

Bobby: Oh yeah? [Snorts.] Now you are asking me to do it again? [Looks at her.] What would you get out of it?

Evelyn: Fifty percent.

Bobby: You still want me to do it while his career is in the barrel, and his cash is skidding on rocks?

Evelyn: [Sighs.]

Bobby: I might sink the rest of the ship - hell I might blow it up! You want that on your conscience? 

Evelyn: I don't know what I want! I just know I don't want to leave this mess empty handed! I've got a baby to raise! Our baby!

Bobby: It's not my problem!

Evelyn: It could be! You and I?

Bobby: No! There's no you, and I. We? we didn't do anything! You and he - E! E!

Evelyn: You know there's a chance?

Bobby: No?no? [Bobby gets up, and paces around.] I didn't do nothing. Nothing! 

Evelyn: [Sighs.]

Bobby: [Looks at her.] What's really getting you desperate? So E may loose it all - he's still got a place to go to...

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes.] A shack?

Bobby: It's a shack - but it's sturdy. 

Evelyn: No? [Evelyn shakes her head.] No I can't - it's not humane?

Bobby: [Narrows his eyes.] What's really scaring you underneath?

Evelyn: [Looks to him.] I don't want to end up where I started, that's all! [She rushes up to him, and grabs his open collar shirt in her hands.] I need your help Bobby - please!

Bobby: [Looks into her eyes, and sees they are still wet from a stream of tears. He gulps.] Calm down sweetheart? [Opens his arms, and holds her.]

Evelyn: [Hugs him in a rush, and cries.] I need him? he's loosing his best side? I need him so much?  I can't move my heart without it?

Bobby: Who are you talking about?

Evelyn: [Looks up to Bobby with wet eyes.] E! Please Bobby! Please! I can't stand him as a man! 

Bobby: [Smiles.] You say so many things? it's all flushing around up there ain't it? [He runs a hand through her hair.] All right, I'll see if I can rope any lambs, and try to get something going.

Evelyn: [Hugs him.] Thank you Bobby!


[Bobby packs to take the E act on the road. He collects the wig, and a few old costume items that E doesn't use - then he hugs Evelyn, and then heads off to find some work in other states.]


[E comes back to the house, and finds Evelyn looking out the window.]

E: Hey, what are you doing looking so far away?

Evelyn: I'm just looking outside E.

E: [He shrugs.] Better then me I guess?

Evelyn: [Ignores him.]

E: [Goes to look in the crib, and finds Eve asleep.] Always asleep, ain't she?

Evelyn: No, she's awake plenty of times - you just aren't around to notice.

E: [Shrugs, and looks at Evelyn.] You look mighty pretty in the moonlight.

Evelyn: [Cringes, and keeps staring out the window.]

E: [Smiles, and shakes his head.] A husband might say you're being selfish in not sharing it.

Evelyn: [Scowls, and becomes rigid.]

E: [Nods.] Oh well, I have a date booked with my favourite flower anyway? [E goes to the bathroom to shower.]


[E comes out of the shower, and finds Evelyn staring out the window.]

E: Finished star gazing yet? 

Evelyn: [Sits there silently.]

E: They're just balls of gas on fire, you know?

Evelyn: [Cringes.] I don't care what they are - they're beautiful!

E: [Nods.] So you're basically going to ignore me for the rest of my life are you?

Evelyn: I'm not ignoring you, I just have other things on my mind.

E: [Frowns.] Like what?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.]

E: [Shrugs.] I don't know what to say to you to make things all right between us - so, forget you! You go sit and watch those pretty stars? [Turns off the light.] I'm going to bed. 

Evelyn: [Gets a cold feeling, and drags her eyes to a distant horizon.] 


[A few days later.]

[Bobby walks the streets in a town a day's bus-ride away. He scopes out the clubs, and asks if there are any spots for him to sing. Manager, after manager, gives him the dirty eye as they contemplate. He gets a few small spots as a fill in act, and then gets silence as he leaves the stage. Bobby is unsure how to treat the gigs, but he gets a few thousand dollars so he can't complain. 

Bobby goes to the next town, and tries the same thing - but this time he is told a firm no at every venue. Feeling inflated from his most charming efforts, he decides to sit down at a cafe and have some pie. He isn't sitting there long, before a spectator comes up to him, and sits across from him. [It's Linda from 'The King' - Part one.]

Linda: [Scowls.] Hi.

Bobby: [Frowns.] Hey there sweetheart.

Linda: [Scoffs.] You remember me?

Bobby: [Sighs, and takes out a pen.] What do you want me to sign?

Linda: [Laughs.] Sign! I don't want anything from you! 

Bobby: So, what? Are you just resting your legs then?

Linda: I'm part of an organisation - it's a Women's Heal and Heath Association. I would like you to come and?

Bobby: [Butts in.] The price for a performance is one thousand dollars.

Linda: I don't want you to sing! I want you to face Nicola!

Bobby: Nicola? Who??

Linda: Don't tell me you don't remember her!

Bobby: I'm sorry? I - I have no memory - it's just a song list in this mind.

Linda: [Scowls.] Well she remembers you! Clearly!

Bobby: [Thinks.] Sorry, I don't know?

Linda: [Leans forward, and heatedly whispers.] You dumb dump bin! You raped her! It was in the newspaper for heaven's sake! 

Bobby: [Raises a brow.] Sure it was?

Linda: Sure as rain comes from a cloud! [Takes out a clipping from her purse, and shows it to him.]

Bobby: [Frowns, and reads the article.] Why do you carry this around?

Linda: [Shrugs.] I carry everything of importance around!

Bobby: [Gives the clipping back.] That's very odd.

Linda: It reminds me what I'm standing against!

Bobby: [Frowns.] Why do you have to remind yourself? 

Linda: [Shakes her head.] I just do! [She pauses.] You have to come by to help in the healing - so she can face her demon, and voice her vent up feelings! You have to come!

Bobby: Honey I'm a star, I don't have to do anything? [Leans back.]

Linda: If you don't?

Bobby: [Turns dark.] Don't threaten me!

Linda: [Swallows.] Just come by the place - I can take you there now; you don't have to stay long. It's imperative that Nicola gets things off her chest.

Bobby: Oh? oh I see? I go and get screamed at for ten minutes or so, and leave feeling worse for the wear - is that it? [Scoffs.] Not in your life honey? not in your life.

Linda: There's no screaming - we're a passive group. We listen, then we support, and then we ?

Bobby: [Rolls his eyes.] Sounds like one of those things I can pass over.

Linda: [Frowns, and then thinks.] Fine - I'll throw in a dinner voucher.

Bobby: Throw in a dinner voucher, and a spot where I can sing - and you might have a deal.

Linda: [Gasps,] You've got to be kidding!

Bobby: [Smiles.] Then you can jump in a lake. Did you read the date of that article? Let the poor girl forget about it for heavens sake?

Linda: [Yells.] She cant! 

Bobby: [Looks around nervously as people turn their heads.]

Linda: [Looks as well, and lowers her voice.] She can't...

Bobby: [Smiles.] Why not? Like it too much?

Linda: [Gets up with fire in her eyes, and gives Bobby's a slap in the face.]

Bobby: [Scowls, and touches his cheek.]

Linda: You have no right! I hope you never sing again! [Glares at Bobby with all of her hatred.]

Bobby: So much for passive? [Takes down his hand.] Now you've hurt my feelings...

Linda: You deserve it all!

Bobby: Why? I ain't doing nothing but wanting something to eat. 

Cafe Manager:  [Approaches, and talks to Linda.] That's
 right! Striking customers is not allowed in this eatery - please leave!

Linda: [Frowns at the manager, and then at E - finally she leaves without another word.]

Bobby: [To Cafe Manager.] Thank you.

Cafe Manager:  I'm sorry about the interference sir - may I get you a complementary drink?

Bobby: Yes that would be great. Iced Soda...

Cafe Manager:  [Smiles, and walks away.]

Bobby: [Eats in the cafe, and then leaves. He then walks around and inquires at a few places whether they have any spots for a singer - the venue manager's all shake their heads.]

Bobby: [Kicks the dirt on the ground outside, and contemplates in catching a bus to the next town - when a girl, [Corella] introduces herself.]

Corella:  Hi.

Bobby: Hey there.

Corella:  [Smiles.] I can't help but notice that you're looking for a place to sing?

Bobby: That's right.

Corella:  What's your price?

Bobby: One thousand.

Corella:  [Smiles.] Two hundred?

Bobby: [Winces.] Sorry, I can't - one thousand is low enough; two hundred is impossible.

Corella:  [Smiles.] Two hundred for five minutes? I'm sure for the thousand dollars you would sing at least four songs, plus ovation.

Bobby: You don't hear much in five minutes.

Corella:  Five minutes is enough.

Bobby: [Shrugs.] Well it's your two hundred... where do I go?

Corella:  [Smiles.] Follow me. 

[Corella leads Bobby to a venue near by. They walk inside a room that has a group of women sitting around in chairs.]

Bobby: [Scowls at the scene.] 

Corella:  Here we are!

Bobby: Hmmm? .[Picks out Linda, and scowls even more.]

Linda: [Smiles as she crosses her arms.]

Bobby: So what's the song?

Corella:  It's called, "I'm Sorry." 

[The group of girls nudge another girl to come forward - she does so reluctantly, and sulks on a chair positioned at the front.]

Bobby: [Smiles.] So, I got slapped for this? [Clears his throat.] I'm sorry honey? Is the healing done?

Corella:  [Directs Bobby.] You, sit down in the chair next to her, look into her eyes, and focus.

Nicola: [Scowls, and blushes.]

Bobby: [Sits, and smiles.]

Nicola: [Blushes even more.]

Corella:  First, we listen. [To Nicola.] Nicola, what have you to say?

Nicola: [Shrugs.]

Bobby: [Almost laughs.]

Corella:  [Puts a hand on Bobby's shoulder, and gives it a threatening squeeze.]

Bobby: [Forces his face to become neutral.]

Corella:  Let's start with, 'I feel,' and keep eye contact.

Nicola: [Mumbles.] I feel?

Corella:  [Instructs.] Louder Nicola.

Nicola: [Blushes, and blinks back tears in her eyes.]  I feel?

Bobby: [Frowns.]

Nicola: That?

Corella:  Eye contact - otherwise he'll loose interest, and you'll be talking to yourself.

Nicola: [Resumes eye contact.] I feel?. that? [She flinches as something dawns in her mind.]

Bobby: [Frowns, and then speaks.] I feel that this is as healthy as an abortion?

Corella:  Shhh! 

Nicola: [Nicola for a split second gets a glint in her eye - then she clears her throat, and it goes away. She blinks as the tears become more apparent.] I feel that you are? a hurtful person...

Bobby: [Frowns.]

Corella:  Do we have to start the exercises again? You were opening up beautifully last week - think about that!

Nicola: [Smiles, and brushes away a tear.] I feel that I was a better person before I met you? I was more whole in myself. [She clears her throat.] I feel that when you progressed to enforce a will over my whole self? that you broke something of me, inside?

Bobby: [Looks to Corella.]

Corella:  Eye contact.

Bobby: [Clears his throat, and looks to Nicola.]

Corella:  Go on Nicola?.

Nicola: [Sheds another tear.] I feel? like? [She cries, and breaks the eye contact.]

Bobby: [To Corella.] You don't think this isn't at all traumatising? 

Corella:  It's all part of flushing out the hurting.

Bobby: Is that what you call it? It's hurting me to just look at her!

Corella:  [Smiles as gasps, and murmurs, are heard from the other women.] Good. [To Nicola.] Keep looking at him, and keep the words coming Nicola!

Nicola: [Resumes eye contact.] I feel weak, and sore all throughout my whole self. They're like sore scars that don't go away, they just get worse. [Tears drip freely.] I feel? as though you hurt me, and I? [Almost breaks down, but catches herself.] I feel like I'm lost to myself... [She sobs.]

Corella:  [Puts a hand on Nicola's shoulder, then speaks to Bobby.] See what can happen in five minutes? 

Bobby: I see it? and I'm sorry? I sorry if I hurt you doing what I did.

[Whispers stir in the group of women at the other end of the room.]

Nicola: [Bursts into tears.]

Corella:  That's it? just let it out, and one day it won't be there any-more?

Bobby: [Frowns.] For heaven's sake - why don't you get her to hit me, or something?

Corella:  [Corella eyes Bobby.] We are a passive group.

Bobby: Passive? [Spits, stands, circles around to where there's a black board, and picks up a wooden ruler.] Honey, I can tell you this much - one thing my daddy taught me when I was growing, there's only one way to punish someone when they've done something wrong. 

Nicola: [Looks up, and wipes her tears.]

[Everyone in the room looks at Bobby.]

Bobby: You've moved me so much, I'm gonna just have to do the honours myself... [Sticks out one of his hands, and then gives it a firm slap. He does it again, and again - until the ruler breaks.]

[The women jump startled, as Bobby closes his hand with blood bleeding from his palm.]

Bobby: I shed blood for you honey? [Kisses his fist. He then goes up to her, and drops the broken ruler by her toes.] You can keep the pieces?

[The women gasp, and murmur.]

Corella:  [Pales.] That's really not what we were looking for. Now please, go with Trisha, and she'll bandage you up. Trisha!

Trisha: [Steps forward, and ushers Bobby into an adjoining tea-room.]

[Once in the tea-room.]

Trisha: [Runs Bobby's hand under some water, and then go on to use antiseptic on it.  She looks at the deep cut, and then bandages it.] You really like to be the centre of attention, don't you?

Bobby: What do you mean?

Trisha: Couldn't stand to let a girl bare her soul - so you got up, and did something that words could never fill.

Bobby: That girl didn't want to bare her soul - she wanted to forget it.

Trisha: [Smiles.] It takes time for something painful to be expressed.

Bobby: Time? That was more painful to watch, then this cut was to make!

Trisha: That's cause there's real grief in that girl - this cut is more show. It's a superficial surface wound.

Bobby: [Frowns.] 

Trisha: Nicola's wound is an internal wound.

Bobby: I know about those kinds of wounds - and you know what I did? I moved on, cause I can't change what's past, so I got on with what was to come. Never looked back.

Trisha: [Shrugs.]

Bobby: Why does she have to come to these meetings?

Trisha: It was prescribed as part of her healing. [Trisha smiles, and looks to E.] 

Bobby: I don't think she's healing...

Trisha: It good of you to notice. 

Bobby: I don't think she can heal with this group pressuring her to?

Trisha: We just wanted her to talk to you in person - see how you'd react.

Bobby: You're examining us both then?

Trisha: I wouldn't call it examining; but we are witnessing.

Bobby: So what have you speculated after witnessing?

Trisha: That you get uncomfortable easily; that you command attention before someone starts getting sore about any problem; that you go to extreme measures to avert attention, and stun; [She smiles.] It's to be expected, considering who you are... [She rubs his hand.] All done!

Bobby: So that's it now?

Trisha: Well, you've stayed twenty minutes now - I guess you can take the money and leave, or resume a proper seat and listen to Nicola. 

Bobby: Quite frankly, I'm feeling woozy - I think I might need to get moving on.

Trisha: [Drops her smile.] Then follow me. 

[They go back to the main room. Nicola is sobbing, and Linda is sitting next to her holding the pieces of the ruler in her hands. Trisha whispers to Corella. Corella approaches Bobby, and gives him his money. Bobby leaves feeling weighted, and angry.]


[Bobby grabs a train to the next town, and begins to ask around for gigs after throwing his bandage away. He gets a few bookings right away, and he performs at the venues at top quality. He gets ovations, and double bookings. Soon he realises he's going to stay for a while.]


[E drinks with his friends, as they watch television. Evelyn sits across from him watching space crawl, with Eve in her arms. E looks at the baby, and realises the hair isn't getting darker or lighter - it's just remaining the same colour. Evelyn sees him, gets up, and leaves to go to bed. E shrugs and goes back to watching television.]

E: This is boring my brain to pieces. How about we go and get a big boy burger?

[The entourage cheers, and they all get up and leave.]


[They go and get burgers, they eat until they are full, and then they go on driving for twenty four hours, visiting ranches, tourist spots, and driving. 

Evelyn sits at home looking out the window, while looking after Eve.]

Evelyn [She whispers.] Bobby, are you doing well?


[Bobby arrives at the next town late at night, and walks around looking for accommodation. He bumps into a drunken roughie, and gets hit a few times, before a whack from him send the ruffian's insides spewing. Bobby runs, while another ruffian approaches and watches the other throw up. Bobby ends up at a dead end street. He sits down for a moment, and holds his hand while he catches his breath. He shakes his head, and calms himself down.]

Bobby It'll be okay... [He clasps his stung hand, and shivers to himself.]


[E arrives home, and goes to his room with a belly full of food, and eyes full of tiredness. Evelyn glances at him as he enters the room, grimaces, then goes to look out of the window.]

E: Still looking at the stars?

Evelyn: I just like the view.

E:
 [Shrugs himself out of his jacket, looks down on himself, and realises he has a swollen stomach from eating too much. He pats his stomach, and loosens his tie.] When are you gonna get your eyes back to me?

Evelyn: [Looks at him, scowls, and then looks out the window.] I don't know...

E: [Throws his tie onto the floor.] You gotta help me here Evelyn - I thought we had good times together.

Evelyn: Hmmm?

E: [Steps up to her, and whispers over her shoulder.] I don't see why we can't keep having them? [Moves to kiss her.]

Evelyn: [Backs away.] No?

E: [Grabs her head, manages to kiss her, and holds it for a while. E smiles as he breaks the kiss.]

Evelyn: [Blushes with anger, and frowns.] Happy?

E: [Shrugs.] I'd tell you what would make me a lot happier? [Runs a hand down her nightdress.]

Evelyn: [Snorts.] Are you kidding? You roll on me, and you'll crush me! [She pushes him back.] Get some sense into your brain! You can't have sex when you're fat!

E: [Frowns.] What? [Looks to himself.] What do you mean?

Evelyn: I can see your rolls! Just look at you! It's disgusting!

E: [Looks at himself.] It's just a full stomach?

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes.] Yeah? sure?

E: [Frowns.] Well?

Evelyn: [Looks out the window, and fixes up a fallen strap.]

E: [Gets angry.] Well you ain't what you used to be either! 

Evelyn: [Looks out the window.]

E: You got fat during pregnancy, and I still had no problem?

Evelyn: Maybe that's the difference between us. [Looks out the window.]

E: [Scowls.] Huh! Well, ain't this a mood breaker! [Looks to her.] You know what I think? I think you've just been faking so much, that you can't fake any-more!

Evelyn: [Turns cold eyes to him.] Maybe your right? maybe I am sick of looking at you... maybe I am just sick of everything?

E: [Frowns.] Maybe you should leave!

Evelyn: [Murmurs.] Maybe I will...

E: [Frowns, and feels sweat drip off of his face.] What's stopping you at maybe? There's the door right there! [Points to the door.]

Evelyn: Maybe it's not the right time? [Murmurs.] Yet?

E: [Grits his teeth, and wipes his face with a hand. He contemplates on throwing a ceramic vase, but lets his aggression go.] Well you just tell me when? [Goes to have a shower.]


[E paces in the bathroom, and stops to look at himself. He stands there, and then he takes off his shirt. He sees his stomach is full, but it's not so different then what he used to look like. He steps closer to view his face - he has some lines under his eyes, but other then that he still looks pretty much the same as he did in his youth. He sighs, opens the medicine cabinet, throws a group of pills inside of his mouth, and swallows them.]

E: [E sniffs as he closes the cabinet, and then looks at his reflection again. His eyes gain their old sparkle, and he glares at his reflection with the anger that he feels as he runs a tap in the wash basin. He rolls his eyes off himself, then dunks his hands into the water, and washes his face a few times. He then stops and sighs as water drips off his face.]


[Bobby wakes in the morning in the shady alley. He picks himself off the ground, and shoulders his small bag. He then walks around, and starts looking for work. 

He visits a RSL - they are booked. He visits a pub - they are for amateurs only. He visits a hotel - the manager looks him up and down, and even sniffs the air a little.]

Hotel Manager01:  How long have you been looking for work?

Bobby: Months?

Hotel Manager01:  [Nods.] Well you have to audition - I'm not parting with money just for a star who hasn't got the vocals?

Bobby: You won't be disappointed.

Hotel Manager01:  You'll need somewhere to stay - I can't just push out the line-ups to make room for you; I have to fit you in - it may take a week.

Bobby: A week?

Hotel Manager01:  That's a favour line up - many singers wait months. 

Bobby: [Nods.] How much are we talking about?

Hotel Manager01:  Well, I can put you on as an act - but payment depends on how many tickets are sold. [He shrugs.] Could be a lousy thousand, for a weeks performance? could be fifteen thousand for a weeks performance on full house, plus ovation.

Bobby: [Nods.] Plus ovation?

Hotel Manager01:  We may be able to fit you into the clubroom if there's extended interest. It's extra work - you may work between five to fifteen hours a day; the more hours and sales, the more pay.

Bobby: [Thinks.]

Hotel Manager01:  It won't be a waste of time. 

Bobby: [Nods.] Okay, I'll do whatever hours you want. The bigger pay is the better pay - remember that.

Hotel Manager01:  [Shakes Bobby's hand.] I won't be the one needing reminding. 

Bobby: [Smiles, and then goes to find accommodation.]


[E sits around having some tea, and grapefruit. He watches Evelyn as she comes downstairs to have a cup of tea. She sits at the table with him.]

E: Good morning.

Evelyn: What are you eating? A lemon?

E: [Smiles.] It's grapefruit - it's good to get the bowels cleansed.

Evelyn: Who said that?

E: Sandy?

Evelyn: Oh? [Looks.] Does it taste any good?

E: It sort of tastes like a lemon, but sweet? sort of...

Evelyn: Let me try some. 

E: [Nods, cuts off a piece, and gives it to Evelyn.]

Evelyn: [Takes a bite, and cringes.] It does taste like a lemon, but different... [Wipes her fingers on the tablecloth.] Gross? [She looks at E's remaining grapefruit.] How many do you need to eat?

E: [Shrugs.] I'm just gonna eat it for a while until I'm cleansed.

Evelyn: Is that healthy?

E: [Shrugs.] Must be. [Looks at her, and smiles.] Can't be any worse then what I'm already putting inside.

Evelyn: I guess? [Picks up the rest of the grapefruit, takes another bite, and lingers on the tasting.] It's kind of like? [She shrugs.]  I don't know. [Evelyn swallows it, and then goes back to her tea.] It makes my insides tingle.

E: [Smiles.] I guess that's good?

Evelyn: [Frowns.] I guess? [Takes a sip of tea.]

E: [Looks at her, and smiles.]

Evelyn: [Catches E's eyes, and smiles back.]

E: I want to kiss you?

Evelyn: [Flinches, and then smiles.] What's stopping you?

E: [Smiles, puts down his grapefruit, and drags his chair slowly closer.]

Evelyn: [Gets irritated at the sound.] You couldn't just stand?

E: [Shrugs, stands, and then kicks back the chair - it slides to the wall. E then looks at her, leans in close, and finally kisses her.]

Entourage member:  [Screams.] GO WIDE!

[A ball comes sailing into the room, and knocks Evelyn's tea cup all over her white shirt.]

Evelyn: [Gasps, and stands.]

E: [Snaps his head to the ball.] What the hell? [He picks up the ball.]

Casey: [Comes in, and looses his smile.] Sorry E?

E: [Snaps.] What the hell are you boys doing, playing ball in the house?!

Evelyn: [Rushes upstairs.]

E: I was having a nice breakfast, and now it's ruined!

Casey: Sorry, you taught us to play last night? we just felt like throwing it around.

E: If I ain't playing inside, you don't play! Go got it? Now go play outside!

Casey: [Spreads his hands.] Throw me the ball?

E: [Throws it.]

Casey: [It hits Casey in the chest, hard.] Hmpf? what a throw!

E: Get on outdoors! No more ball inside! It's eating, or sitting, when you're in the house - that's the new rule! Tell everyone!

Casey: Got it? [Casey runs out of the room.] Hey! Fellas! It's outside if we wanna play!

[The entourage group groans.]

Casey: Either you move - or we eat, and sit! Nothing else!

[The group cheers.]


[E goes upstairs, and finds Evelyn sitting at the window again. He walks up to her, and wraps her in his arms.] 

Evelyn: [Squirms.] Don't?

E: What? You were crazy for me just a few minutes ago?

Evelyn: I wasn't crazy for you - I was just tolerant of?

E: [Snaps.] Why don't you stop talking for a second! [He kisses her face, and down her neck.]


Evelyn: E?. this isn't the most appropriate of times!

E: No time's the better.

Evelyn: [Tantrums.] I don't want you touching me!

E: [Pauses.]

Evelyn: [Pushes him away.] Uhg!

E: [Frowns as he shifts back a little, and thinks.] I know? [E goes to the cupboard, and dresses up in one of his on stage costumes - it's a flashy glittering item, with a fancy plastic belt, and high polished shoes. He comes out of the cupboard, and stands behind Evelyn.] Why don't you look at me now?

Evelyn: [Turns her head, and blinks.]

E: Do I look like the fantasy? 

Evelyn: [Scoffs.] No!

E: No? I've got my dazzles on, and you still ain't happy?

Evelyn: [Looks at the belt.] Where did you get that - it's half plastic! You trying to dazzle me with a plastic belt? Show me a gold one, and you might get somewhere!

E: Gold? [Looks at his belt.] Well fans thought it was pretty impressive...

Evelyn: Fans think everything is great!

E: [Mumbles.] I guess? [He sighs.] So this does nothing? I wore this in a photo shoot once...

Evelyn: [Puts a hand to her head.] E, won't you stop? It just won't work?

E: Tell me why it won't work.

Evelyn: Cause? it's beyond appearance - it's just you.

E: Me? What about me?

Evelyn: [Sighs.] I don't know.

E: I'd really like to know Evelyn.

Evelyn: [Gets angry.] I don't know!

E: Not good enough? Haven't had a job in a month, and you're not wanting me any-more? Is that it?

Evelyn: It's not just that...

E: I've been in more movies then you - I've been in magazines, I've been voted the top entertainer? that doesn't mean anything to you?

Evelyn: I thought it would? [She bites her lip and looks out the window.] But it doesn't help?

E: [Shakes his head.] I don't understand it! [Takes off his belt, and throws it back into the cupboard. He then takes off his fancy suit, and puts on his more normal clothes.]  I just don't get it Evelyn! 

Evelyn: You wouldn't!

E: [Gets angry.] What does that mean?

Evelyn: [Looks to E.] You're not the topmost educated are you?

E: I'm educated!

Evelyn: To what standard?

E: What?

Evelyn: You don't speak well, you don't write well?.

E: I can top anything you can!

Evelyn:
 Oh please?

E: It's true! I don't sound smart but?

Evelyn: No? That's cause you aren't! It's so annoying sometimes! I can read better then you, write better then you - all I can't do is sing! If I had your vocals - I'd be on the top train out of this dump, and patching up a road to?

E: What do you mean dump! This is a mansion!

Evelyn: To what standard?

E: What?

Evelyn: [Sighs.] I don't want to talk about this?

E: No, let's talk. You think this ain't a good house?

Evelyn: [Sighs.] It's fine?

E: But you just said?

Evelyn: Forget what I just said. [Cries a little as she stares out the window.]

E: [Stops, and stares at Evelyn.] This place is better then any place you could have paid for - it's about time you show some respect, even if your heart's all chewed up!

Evelyn: Respect? I was paid for! Doesn't that mean something?

E: Yes, it means money badly spent! [Looks her up and down, and leaves the room.]

Evelyn: [Gasps.]

E: [Slams the door closed.]


[E rushes down the stairs, and paces at the back of the entertainment room downstairs as his entourage watches television. He gets nauseated, and feels sick. He starts to get dizzy, and feels the hot blood rush out from under his skin.]

[A spot about him comes on television.]

Report: Celebrity E stunned members of a women's group this week, when he thrashed himself for the wrongdoings he committed in his youth against local citizen Nicola Ernestine.

[E looks at the screen.]

E: What is this fella's? 

Casey: News report?

E: I didn't go out this week? let alone? thrash myself? What? Can anything be reported these days?

Timothy:  [Frowns.] Who knows? But it's not a positive enforcement after you last reported 'indecency'.

Report: These are the broken pieces of wood, which E used to beat himself in order to to obtrusively prove his remorse over his indecent behaviour?

E: Is the world crazy? That smug reporter's lying! [E looks at the screen hard, and takes out his gun from the back of his belt as he feels more nauseated as he remembers Nicola Ernestine. He closes his eyes for a second, and a flash of her pops up in his mind. E gets a sunken sensation in his gut, he starts to feel claustrophobic despite the space around him, and tight at the collar.]

Report: Women say, "E is genuinely sorry?"

E: [Shoots the TV after dizzy spell.]

Entourage Members: [Look to E stunned.]

E: [Lowers the gun with trembling fingers, and then looks at the group.] Excuse me, I think I'm gonna have to go, and pray for the salvation of the world. [Puts down some bills.] Someone go buy a new TV. [E leaves.]


[E disappears into the red room at the back of the house, and slams the door behind him. He leans his forehead against the door, and take a few deep breaths.]

E:  Lies? all lies? it's just the world trying to knock you down... [E opens his eyes vengefully.] Well I'll show them! I'll show them! I will?


[Bobby gets his performance date booked, and starts to sing.  He is impressive, and the crowd grows interest quickly. He gets a steady month worth of bookings at the hotel - the manager even lets him board at the hotel for free. Bobby gets star treatment, and soon people want autographs and meetings. He grows accustomed to the hideous scheduling of the performances, and takes more pills to ease anything that could make him aware of his sore throat.] 


[Bobby gets pulled aside during his last performance one evening, and becomes introduced to a director named Trewmann.]

Hotel Manager01  This man wants to meet with you to discuss a potential movie spot.

Bobby: Movie? Me?

[Bobby gets ushered into a small meeting room.]

Trewmann [Stands to greet him.] My name is Trewmann - I've directed such films as, "Trains Are Running", and, "The Arlene River". I'm interested in casting you in a film - with your voice, and looks, it's sure to be a hit! What do you say?

Bobby: I say? why not?!

Trewmann [Puffs on his cigar.] I like your cut kid - don't loose it. [Gives him a card.] Come to this address at the end of next week - I'll have a script for you. You won't be disappointed with the pay, but I must warn you the schedule will be rigorous for fast making.

Bobby: [Smiles.] I'll be there! Thanks sir!

Trewmann [Smiles.] Now excuse me - I must attend to other things.

Bobby: Of course?

Trewmann Don't be late now.

Bobby: Oh, I won't!

[Trewmann leaves. Bobby looks to the Hotel Manager01.]

Hotel Manager01  Ain't you a lucky son of a gun!

Bobby: I can't believe it!

Hotel Manager01  You're sure to get out of your debts now...

Bobby: [Smiles.] I hope so.


[E slams down the phone, and runs his hands through his hair.]

E:  No jobs! [He thinks.] How the hell can you be such a big star, and get no jobs! [E scowls as he thinks.] No jobs?. Why? [E picks up the phone, and dials.] Hi, I'm looking for the phone number for the name Ernstine - ERNSTINE. In South River. No South River - Cole. It's uhm? [Thinks.] It's near the eastern state of Marilee. [Spells out the name one letter at a time.] C.O.L.E? C.O.L..E. Yes, that might be it. Thank-you [E waits and fidgets with a pen in his hand.] Three listings? Okay. Do you have the address as well? Just the area postcode? Can't give out the number of the street? That will do then. Thank you. [Writes.] Uh-hu... Uh-hu? Uh-hu? Uh-hu? Okay, thank you. [Sniffs, hangs up the phone, then picks it up, and dials the first number.] Hi, is this the house of Ernstine? Yes? Is Miss Nicola Ernstine in residence? No? Okay - thank you. [He hangs up, and rings the next number.] Hi, is this the house of Ernstine? Yes? Is a Miss Nicola Ernstine there? No? Okay, thank you. [E circles the last number, and postcode.] Got ya you little trouble maker! 

[E goes into the lounge where a group of entourage members are helping themselves to bread, cheese, and raw smoked bacon.]

E:  Anyone up for a road trip? 

[The group moans.]

Casey: [Thinks about his stomach.] I think I've got some kind of flue...

Sandy: Why do you wanna go out of town again E?

E:  I'm in the mood. [Waits for a hand to shoot up.] Don't tell me I have to go alone? 

Sandy: [Lies back on the couch.] Right now I am almost in the mood to grant it.

E:  You know that's not possible - I have to take at least one person. [Looks around.] Who is it going to be?

Sandy: [Looks at Casey.]

Casey: I'm sick - I can't drive!

Sandy: I don't feel like driving - I have a strain in my leg.

E:  [Gets cross.] I'll drive - one of you just gotta come along so that I don't get into trouble! [Takes out his keys.]

Casey: All right? [Stands up.] But I ain't driving...

E:  [Smiles.] Okay, let's go. You other fellas? keep my wife out of trouble!

[The group laughs, and gets comfortable in front of the television.]


[E and Casey hurry to the car. E gets in, starts the car, and looks at Casey.]

E:  Warn me if you need to be sick.

Casey: Can do?

E:  What do you think it was?

Casey: Three big boys? raw bacon? tuna? [Shrugs.] The option is open.

E:  [Nods, and heads off.]


[E drives. Casey drifts between wake, and sleep. Finally they get to Cole, and they reach the part of town with the area code designated to it. 

E parks the car at the end of a street, and waits for an idea to come. Casey wakes.]

Casey: Hey?what are we doing? 

E:  I'm just stopping for a while - I'm tired.

Casey: [Rubs his eyes, and looks out the window.] Should I wake?

E:  No, just go back to sleep... [Looks at the phone booth a block ahead.] I'm just gonna go for a walk to that phone booth - mind the car.

Casey: [Closes his eyes.] Hmmph?.


E:  [Goes to the booth, and looks up Nicola's last name. He finds it. He then looks for the street number, and finds only the street name. [E grimaces.] Great!

[E rubs his head, and thinks. He then takes out his written list, and looks at the phone number. He puts some money into the pay phone, and dials.] Hello Ma'am, is this the Ernstine residence? Yes? I understand a Miss Nicola lives there? Yes? I am part of the V.A.H.G. -  it's an independent organisation, built to help young people who are victims of crime. I would like to send out some novelty items to the young Miss, to support her in her courageous decision to shed light over her ordeal, and in getting the celebrity E into open remorse about his actions. Could you give me the street number so that? yes? [Holds his breath.] Of course I'll wait. [Waits, and rolls his eyes.] No she doesn't think it necessary? Oh, oh I see... Well the people of my organisation has spent a great deal of time putting together this gift package - it comes with a certificate of one thousand dollars that is unredeemable... Oh? [Listens.] Yes, I really think that this union could be good for both her, and the cause that we fight to support - plus, it's free! [Listens.] No this isn't a scam - it's just like when a neighbour moves into your neighbourhood, and you bring over a hamper of good to make them welcome. This is just the same, but instead of a neighbour, it's a help support organisation. I would like to add that it is possible that Nicole could be issued in our monthly newsletter, giving hope to troubled victims, and opening the fact that they need not hide in the shadows of others sins any longer. [Listens.] You will? Thank you. [Listens, and takes out a pen from his pocket.] Thirteen A, Birch Street. Postcode? Two, nine, nine, one... Great - when would be the best time to deliver a package that has to be signed for? [Listens.]  In the morning, or after four. Okay, thank you - bye. [E hangs up the phone, and rubs his hair.] Jackpot. [E goes back to the car and sits inside of its body.]

[E starts the car, drives to Birch Street. He then stops the car, and sits feeling timid as he realises that he looks worse for wear, and feels like he doesn't want to bother with the task of facing his point of rage.]

Casey: What's the matter?

E:  I'm an idiot. 

Casey: Why do
 you say that?

E:  I come all this way, so I can get some answers about some false reports. I get a booking time, and everything! But I almost feel like I'm going to leave empty handed about this business, and maybe stir up some more while doing it.

Casey: You think the reporter will try to pin a new tail on your hot ass?

E:  [Rubs his chin.] Maybe? [He feels uneven surface and cringes.] Look at me - I've stubble, and I can't shave! [E takes his hand away.] This is not my plan at all!

Casey: What was your plan?

E:  I don't know? I want to talk to this person - but I can't just go up to the building! I'm famous for heaven's sake! 

Casey: [Smiles.] Well to get those loose lies off, you'll have to show some nerve.

E:  I have a stain on my shirt - it needs pressing.

Casey: Maybe we should swing by a hotel?

E:  No, I ain't moving. 

Casey: [Sighs.] So you gonna wait all night?

E:  [Rubs his eyes, and realises he is tired.] Maybe I was on too many drugs when I woke up this morning.

Casey: [Laughs.] I'll say. [Looks at the time.] Man it's late. Did you even take a break when on the road?

E:  Nope, just drove - stopped once for gas, and sped whenever I could. 

Casey: You are one weird guy. [He sighs and takes a couple of pills.] Why don't you just go and talk to the reporter?

E:  I can't just go! 

Casey: [Puts up his hands.] Okay?

E:  Man, I'm dumb!

Casey: [Takes out a pen, and paper.] Want to write a questions list?

E:  No, let's sit.

Casey: [Nods.] Goodnight then? I'm going to sleep.


[E waits for his courage to build - outside it gets very dark. Cars pass by - some park, people get out, and shuffle into their houses. E pops a few pills as he watches the scene. Casey sleeps soundly. 

Finally E decides to go for a walk. He gets out of the car, and walks down the street. All the lights are out in most of the houses, and the path lamps are dim. 

E walks to the house number, and scans the fence-less ground that surrounds a ground level house. There's no side fencing, just straight yard - he assumes there's no dog guarding the back due to this fact. E stares at the shadowy yard, swallows a pill, and then heads to the back.] 

E:  [Murmuring to himself.] If I know these houses, this is just like the one I used to live in? 

[E gets to a window, peeks in the gap between the curtains - the room is dark. E shrugs, and then tries the next window - there is no gap in-between the curtains to peer through. 

Suddenly a cat meows on the back porch - E jumps as he hears it. There's silence following the meows - the cat becomes disinterested in its own call, and decides to scratch a tree instead. E watches. Then to E's surprise the back door opens, and he squashes himself to the side of the house.]

Nicola: Berry? Is that you? [Looks at the cat scratching the tree.] Berry! You know that's bad! [Walks into the yard.] Stop it!  [The cat hisses, and runs away beyond a bush.] You little brat! I even got out of bed this time! Next time it'll be mumma, and you'll get a slap for stirring her!

Amberley [Yells from her window.] Nicola! Stop yelling at the cat! It can't understand you!

Nicola: It's keeping me awake! Before it was scratching at the roof, and then meowing by the window?

Nicola's Mother  [Yells from her window.] Nicola! Just leave some milk on the porch, and go to bed! [She slams the window closed.]

E:  [Smiles.]

Nicola: [Turns, and storms into the house.]

Amberley [Closes the window.]

E:  [Walks to the porch, and feels an energy light his insides.]

Nicola: [Comes out, and gruffly puts the milk tray on the floor. She spills some milk, and bothers to wipe it up with a handkerchief. She stands up, and sighs as she peers at the tray]. What a night! [She turns.]

E:  [Grabs her, and points a gun in her ribs.] Hey sweetheart - feel that hard bump there? It's a gun. You make a sound, and I'll fire it. 

Nicola: [Gasps.]

E:  That's it? [Pulls her back.] Quiet now? we're going for a walk.

Nicola: But?

E:  Quietly?

Nicola: [Nods.]

[E firmly grabs her arm, and pulls her to the car, keeping the head of the gun pulled deep against her side. He opens the door, gets her into the back of the car, and then locks it. He then hops in the front, fires the ignition, and drives.]

Nicola: [Looks at the driver.]

E:  I bet you didn't expect this?

Nicola: No?

E:  [Drives fast, and gets good mileage before the sun rises up.]


[Daybreak dawns - E stops by the side of the road for a break. E feeds Casey a pill to keep him asleep - Casey murmurs, and stays in semi-coma. E's stomach is empty, and he feels sick - his hands are sore from slipping on the wheel while his palms sweated throughout the duration of the drive. 

E gets out of the car, and takes a few more pills as he watches the country scene before him. After a short break, he gets back inside the car, and starts to drive a little more slowly.]

Nicola: [Feels a bump, wakes up, and rubs her eyes. She sits up, and stares at E.] Where are we?

E:  Never you mind that.

Nicola: [Feels her stomach.] Is there breakfast?

E:  No.

Nicola: [Runs her fingers through her hair.] Am I far from home?

E:  Yep.

Nicola: [Clears her throat.] Where are we going?

E:  [Smiles.] You'll see...

Nicola: [Rolls her eyes.] What are you doing snatching girls in their backyards? You trying to get into more trouble?

E:  Just comes naturally. [He concentrates on the road for a moment.] Actually I probably would have given the idea away if you hadn't come out yourself. 

Nicola: [Rolls her eyes.] Me and my ways?

E:  [Turns the car to go down another road.] 

Nicola: Doesn't your hand pain you?

E:  No?

Nicola: It was rumoured there was a bad cut after you whipped it. I only saw it from a distance - I thought the red on the ruler could have been splashes of ketchup.

E:  I didn't whip my hand.

Nicola: What do you call it when you hit yourself then?

.E: I call it gossip that I came to want to know about. I saw the television, [Changes his voice to presenter level.] 'Big star E shows remorse for wrongdoings?' [Murmurs.] Bla, bla, bla?

Nicola: Oh? [Frowns confused.]

E:  Oh, is right! 

Nicola: Well, just for the record that wasn't my idea - but when you walk into a women's group, what else do you expect? Them to keep quiet? 

E:  [Angry.] I didn't walk into no women's group! 

Nicola: [Rolls her eyes.] Then you have an identical twin. I was made to tell-tale my secret feelings in front of everyone, looking into your eyes, and they looked no different.

E:  My eyes?! You sure they looked like my eyes?

Nicola: [Shrugs.] Yes, they looked like yours? [Pauses.] That was more embarrassing for me then anyone else, you know? 

E:  [Smiles.] I can't see how that could come to be?

Nicola: [Frowns.] I hated when it was on the news - you don't know what it's like for me to be labelled out as some charity case. No one can treat you as anything like a kid! They always talk about you, not at you; they makes sounds, while eye-balling you;  You can never be seen as a person, you're just some dumb girl!

E:  [Smiles.]

Nicola: [Scowls, and then sighs.] Funniest thing is that was easier to say then in the women's group. 

E:  Don't tire out your tongue kid, I still got questions.

Nicola: Like what?

E:  When I want to ask them, I will.

Nicola: Then let me ask a question.

E:  What?

Nicola: When am I going home?

E:  [Smiles.] I can't tell you...

Nicola: Is that cause the answer could frighten me?

E:  Maybe?.

Nicola: [Fidgets, and clears her throat. Nicola looks to Casey who is sound asleep.] Who's he? 

E:  My public protection official. 

Nicola: What's that?

E:  Keeps me from being a public hazard.

Nicola: [Frowns.] I don't think he's doing a good job.

E:  [Smiles.]

Nicola: [Looks out the window.]


[E drives on. Afternoon crawls by, sundown dawns, and then dusk settles on the world. E finally arrives back at his house after hours of steady driving. He parks in the garage, and sighs. His legs feel wobbly, and his arms are sore. E turns and looks at Nicola who looks at him through tired travel-weary eyes.]

E:  Here we are? no turning back. 

Nicola: So what's going to happen now?

E:  I'm going to get out. [Unbuckles himself, gets out, and opens the back passenger door.] So are you?

Nicola: [Slides out.]

E:  [Takes out some keys, and takes her arm.] We're going to the empty room? 

[E and Nicola head to the side of the garage where's there's a door. E opens it. Inside there is a small room with nothing but concrete floors, and plastered brick walls.] 

E:  Here we go - a room with no view.

Nicola: It's like an empty closet.

E:  With enough room for one. It is supposed to be a storage room for motor parts - but I use the other room for that. So I haven't needed to use this one, until now...

Nicola: [Frowns.] So what's it used for?

E:  Storing goods - stolen goods.

Nicola: [Sheds a tear, and turns to him.] Are you sure you have no scar? [Reaches for his right hand.]

E:  [Smiles as she turns his hand palm up, and becomes discouraged.] I'm afraid so.

Nicola: [Gets disheartened over the fact that the other 'nice' E was just a good impersonator.] I thought it seemed too good to be true, that you would feel something? [She looks sourly at the cold floor.] I don't even get a carpet? [She sobs.]

E:  [Takes his hand back.] Don't cry too much. I'll get you a few things, make this room more comfortable - it'll be like a second home.

Nicola: If it were that you'd show me to a guest room.

E:  [Smiles.] Just sit here, and don't do anything. [Gets serious.] If I find you banging on this door here, I'll punish you, you hear?

Nicola: [Nods, and sits in a corner.] I'm hungry...

E:  [Smiles.] Just sit tight honey, okay?

Nicola: [Rolls her eyes, and looks at the floor.]

E:  [Nods, turns, and closes the door. E then gasps, and wipes some sweat off his brow.] I really didn't think this
 through! [Shakes his head, and goes to the house.]

[E is greeted by Sandy who says a very loud greeting as he enters the house.]

Sandy: Hey pal!

E:  Hi.

Sandy: I was wondering when you'd be back - it's almost been three days!

E:  Our sleeping friend is in the car - you fella's might was to go and get him. I don't know how someone can sleep so much? [E goes upstairs, and finds Evelyn is asleep. He goes to the cupboard, and looks at the items inside it. He chooses a casual dress suit, and then moves on to have a shower. After his shower E falls onto the bed to have a five minute nap.]

Evelyn: E?

E:  Yeah?

Evelyn: Where you been?

E:  Driving.

Evelyn: Oh? [Goes to sleep.]

E:  [He lays there for a while resting with his eyelids open, thinking about what he has done. After a while he gets up, and goes downstairs. After inspecting the rooms of the house he finds out everyone else is asleep. 

E grabs a few cushions, and a few thick blankets, a bucket, and tosses some bread, and snack food in there. He then sneaks out the side of the house, and goes to the garage.]

[E finds Nicola asleep on the hard concrete floor. He shakes his head, folds the blankets over to create a type of mattress, positions the cushions on top. He places the bucket nearby, and then goes back to the garage to get a tin can and places it inside the room as well. [For toilet reasons.] With that done E leaves, and moves back towards the house.] 

E:  [As he's walking across the grass.] I really didn't think nothing through!

[E gets inside the house, and looks around as he thinks. He goes to the unused rooms of the house which have been kept locked up since arrival. E unlocks the doors, and inspects the rooms. Inside are fully furnished rooms in need of a light clean, but never-the-less looking spectacular. He walks around, and checks the cupboards. After doing a good inspection he turns, and exits shaking his head.]

E:  It's too risky? [E sighs.] Man this has become annoying! [E goes upstairs, slips into bed, and finally gets some sleep.]


[E wakes up in the morning. Evelyn is sitting at her window, chewing on her nail. E glances at her, she turns her head to him, and blinks.]

E:  [Smiles.] Nice morning ain't it?

Evelyn: Yes?

E:  [Gets up.] Is the baby still alive? I don't ever hear her cry.

Evelyn: That's cause I catch her before she starts to cry - I time the feedings.

E:  [Smiles.] Ain't that clever...

Evelyn: Saves a headache.

E:  Hmmm? [Looks at her.] Why are you always watching the window?

Evelyn: I like to that's all.

E:  Waiting for a prince to carry you from the castle of evil?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] I don't know, maybe. [She looks at him.]

E:  [Smiles.] Here I was thinking that you were seriously going to move away from me - you'll be here for life if you keep on just waiting.

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Why'd you dress in your best outfit before bed?

E:  I knew I wouldn't want to re-dress when I got up.

[E passes Evelyn, and goes downstairs to get something to eat. He grabs a cold sandwich, and then goes out to the garage to check on Nicola. [He takes the route that guides him on a path that travels through the backyard, after discovering some entourage members smoking by the normal side route that leads to the front.]] 

[E finds his way to the garage, opens the door, and sees Nicola sitting where he left her.]

E:  Hi.

Nicola: Hi.

E:  How are things?

Nicola: [Rubs her back.] Sore? 

E:  Well you know what they say, the hardest beds make the straightest of backs.

Nicola: So?

E:  [Shrugs and fidgets.] I guess that don't matter none...

Nicola: [Stops fidgeting.] So how long am I going to stay here?

E:  [Shrugs.] I don't know - does a life-time seem too long?

Nicola: [Frowns.] Way too long...

E:  Well maybe you'll be lucky; maybe you'll have a short life.

Nicola: [Grimaces.]

E:  [Rolls his eyes.]

Nicola: Why don't you just take me home?

E:  What for? 

Nicola: This is indecent - no person can live here. What are you going to have me do next? Lick my own skin for shower?

E:  [Thinks.] Maybe?

Nicola: [Scowls.]

E:  Anyway I was just checking in to see how you were doing. Now that I've seen, I can go.

Nicola: [Sobs.]

E:  [Pauses.] Well don't be like that now - it ain't all bad...

Nicola: [Ignores him, and wipes her eyes.]

E:  [Puts a hand on his hip.] Well then go on, be miserable! [Slams the door closed.]

E:  [Leans against the wall, and sighs.] Got to hand it to the kid - she's right? [Shakes his head.] I must be going insane? [Heads back to the house in a sprint.]


[E meets Evelyn by the kitchen as he walks inside.]

Evelyn: [Smiles.] What are you doing?

E:  [Passes her breathless.] What do you mean?

Evelyn: I saw you sprinting round the backyard when at the window.

E:  I needed the exercise...

Evelyn: All I had to do was tell one of your bodyguards, and they'd be on you like... [Snaps her fingers.] that!

E:  [Looks at her.] So, why didn't you?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Curiosity... [Orates like a news reporter.] 'The great E averts public protection by taking the other way?' [She smiles.] That would be a great news story! Then everyone would see the headline, [Orates like a news reporter.] 'The effectiveness of public protection - does it work?'

E:  [Takes a drink of water.] Hmm?

Evelyn: [Eyes E sharply.] Maybe you'll do more then run around the house one day - maybe you'll plan to scram, and leave me in debt?

E:  Don't be ridiculous!

Evelyn: It's not so ridiculous! [Runs a couple of fingers over her hair.] You must be running low on money these days?

E:  [Smiles.] Not as low as it'll be in another month's time if I can't get any work.

Evelyn: So why don't you get a job?

E:  I've got a job - I just need work! [Looks to her sourly.]

Evelyn: What?

E:  [Shrugs.] Nothing? [Walks away.]

Evelyn: It's easy for you to do that - isn't it?

E:  [Turns to her.] What?

Evelyn: Walk away?

E:  My wife gave me one baby, and now acts like a distanced sister more then anything else - what do you think?

Evelyn: [Frowns.]

E:  [Leaves the kitchen, and goes to one of his study rooms to make a call he's been meaning to make.] [E takes out a list of numbers from his drawer, and dials. The phone is answered.] Hey, I'm celebrity singing E, and am wondering if there's any platform places? [Listens.] Booked out? Oh? [Pauses.] Is there a waiting list? Six months! [Sighs.] Put me up in month seven. [He writes a note on the paper.] How much? [Tilts his head.] Are you sure? [Thinks.] Does that include set up costs? [Thinks.] What about poster advertisement? Uh-hu?. Well Mac, put me down for two weeks. Actually?[Thinks.] better just make it one week; [Changes his mind.] Three nights to be specific. I know? [Listens to an up-sell on small studio rent.] A small studio? Half price? [Thinks.] That might be okay? [Listens.] Four months waiting? [Thinks.] How much? [Thinks.] Now that's got my interest. [Listens.] Private advertising? Sure to be filled? [Thinks.] One night show? Okay, put me on spot on the Thursday. So, total costs are? [Writes down a number.] Great - thank you, bye! [Smiles as he puts down the phone.] [E murmurs to himself.] Tried the bosses, and now I am the boss ! Got my own shows booked, now I just need to try out the local talent for music ability - then boom! It's back to business for E! After one show the management offers will come pouring! [E stands up.] I can't wait! [Picks up a pen, and writes an advertisement. 'Local Talent - singers, and musician's. Phone (032) 38288222 Monday - Sunday. Must be available for day/night rehearsal.'] There, it can go on the church notice board, and I'll have my show! [Smiles.]

[E Goes out to find Evelyn - she's standing in the kitchen eating tuna from a can. E stops in his steps as his nostrils drink in the scent of tuna, and then he goes on to pretend that he has come back to get another sandwich.]

Evelyn: How many is that now? 

E:  It's my business.

Evelyn: [Bites some more tuna.] You gotta stop it, or you'll get even more fat. 

E:  For the last time I'm not fat!

Evelyn: [Raises her brows.] Well you're not thin!

E:  [E looks at himself, and shrugs.] I think you've got to keep the nips and needles off your tongue. Maybe you should eat some hearts, maybe it'll give you one!

Evelyn: Ohhh, great comeback! Maybe it'll be as impressive as your next performance, when history scouts ask you to do a comeback special in forty years time, before you disintegrate forever!

E:  That's a strange insult - I'd be damned honoured if I'm remembered in forty years time!

Evelyn: [Puts some more tuna in her mouth, and shrugs.]

E:  [Frowns.] Now you're just giving me a headache - I'm going to get some air to get it off of me!

Evelyn: [Watches him walk out.]


[E goes to the garage and sees Nicola.]

Nicola: [Is sitting plaiting some of her hair.]

E:  That's awful Indian thing to do?

Nicola: My sister taught me - it's time consuming.

E:  Well stop it!

Nicola: [Rolls her eyes to him, and drops her hair.] What else am I supposed to do? Sit here? [Scoffs.] Figure out how I'm supposed to urinate in that little tin can? [Rolls her eyes to him.] I'm sure you have a room with a toilet somewhere if your mansion is as big as people say.//

E:  [Smiles.] I have heaps of room - just not for a prisoner...

Nicola: So, that's what I am?

E:  Haven't you figured it out?

Nicola: [Shrugs.] I was hoping there was more to it? [Frowns.] Why are you keeping me prisoner? You said you were just going to ask me something.

E:  [Shrugs.] Taking you back would ruin my life.

Nicola: So? Keeping me in here ruins mine!

E:  [Smiles.] Mine's more important?

Nicola: [Gets angry.] More important? 

E:  [Nods.]

Nicola: [Frowns, and crosses her arms.] Well then why are you brothering me at all - if I'm so unimportant and all?

E:  [Shrugs.] I need the distraction... [Sits down next to her.]

Nicola: Aren't
 you a little too sober to sit next to me? An unimportant person?

E:  Well, you ain't all unimportant? [Leans towards her.]

Nicola: [Leans away.]

E:  [Grabs her arm, and pulls her towards him.]

Nicola: [Gets thrown off balance, and hits her head on his shoulder.] Owww? [Looks at her arm.] Owww?

E:  [Looks to get a view.] Where are you hurt? 

Nicola: I'm going to get bruises? [Gets her arm back, and rubs her head.]

E:  Well some sweet as sugar always gets bad bumps to stop cryin? [Kisses her temple.]

Nicola: [Turns cold.] I - I never heard of that? [Squirms as she feels his kisses run down her face.] It doesn't feel better? [Frowns.] I said it doesn't feel better!

E:  [Stops to look at her.] I heard it. 

Nicola: So why don't you just stop it?

E:  [Shrugs.] Maybe it makes me feel better. [Puts her face in his hands.] Huh?

Nicola: [Frowns.]

E:  You don't need to act sweet - you still damn well taste it? [Kisses her.]

[There's a loud knock on the door.]

E:  [Jumps inside of his skin, and looks to the door with his heart racing.]

Sandy: [Outside the door.] E? You in here?

Nicola: [Looks to E, and then takes a deep breath to scream.]

E:  [Sees the intake of breath, slaps a hand on her mouth, and quickly takes out his gun. Dangerously whispers as he presses the gun's tip against her brow.] Not a word now you hear? 

Sandy: I saw you come in? I was walking around the front... You know you can't just walk off when you want - someone has to accompany you. E? 

E:  [Takes a gulp as sweat forms on his brow. He looks to the door with fright as he realises that he cannot open it without having Nicola become discovered while Sandy is on the other side.]

Sandy: E? Come on, this is the only place locked...

E:  [Holds his breath.]

Sandy: [Sighs.] Look, I can see you want your private space - so I'll be smoking out by the garden bed. [Gets serious.] Don't go driving alone now - I'll have to blow out your tires with some silver bullets. You know I won't like it - but I'll do it. [Sighs.] So, you've heard my warning. [Sandy lingers a little, and then walks off.]

E:  [Looks to Nicola, and then takes his trembling hand away.] 

Nicola: [Looks at him sweat.]

E:  [Sighs.] See how it's like? [Bites a fingernail, and waits as he keeps his gun limp by his side.]

Nicola: [Looks at him.]

E:  [Rubs his head with his gun, and then puts it away.]

Nicola: [Looks at him.]

E:  [Looks at her, and shrugs.] Now I ain't in the mood? [He stands up.]

Nicola: [Sighs, and relaxes.]

E:  [Looks at her, and smiles.] What are you sighing for? I just ain't in the mood to be nice. [Takes out his gun, and points it at her.] Now strip. 

Nicola: [Blinks at the gun while her gut churns, as an intense moment passes.]

E:  [Laughs.] Nah, I'm just kidding... [Puts the gun away with movie star flair.] You just stay quiet. [Frowns.] I mean it... [Turns, and exits the door.]

Nicola: [Lets a tear dribble down her face.]


[E walks out of the garage, and meets Sandy.]

Sandy: [Waves while holding a cigarette.] Hi.

E:  [Nods.] Hey?

Sandy: What's the secret?

E:  Five minutes in the dark is like an hours worth of sleep.

Sandy: [Smiles.] Wow, I didn't know that.

E:  [Starts walking back to the house, then turns to face Sandy.] Hey, do you think I'm getting fat?

Sandy: Fat? No? [Looks at his waist.] Bloated? puffy?

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] So I am?

Sandy: You still look good... [Shrugs.] A few pounds don't matter.

E:  [Pats his stomach.] Maybe I need a new diet.

Sandy: Big Boys aren't the best diet food's. They're just good to eat.

E:  You're right there?

Sandy: I've heard sushi really cuts down the pounds?

E:  What's that?

Sandy: Raw fish.

E:  [Grimaces.] No... no... I don't want that.

Sandy: Well, you could try the healthy thing - eat only soup;

E:  How does that work?

Sandy: It's not solid, it doesn't bulk up the waist.

E:  How many can you have a day?

Sandy: [Shrugs.] As many as you want. 

E:  Do you know how to make it?

Sandy: [Smiles.] I know a great recipe. 

E:  [Smiles] Then boil the deep pots - I want them all full by sunrise tomorrow.

Sandy: Ey-eye!

E:  [Laughs.]


[Bobby is making storms on stage, as well as on set. His performances are booked out, and then when he starts his movie his natural charm really impresses everyone around. The fellow actors enjoy his energetic performance, and his off-set behaviour. It is agreed that the film is set to be a hit.]

Bobby: [Sits at a train station fingering an envelope full of cash. He smiles at it, pleased.] I wonder how long this dream is going to last for? [Sighs, and drinks from a bottle of ale as a train arrives.] Well, I guess the next stop is going to be my lucky one!


[E puts down a magazine upset.]

E:  [Looks at the boys around him.]  Any of you fella's see me do a concert in Tohildo? 

Sandy: No?

Casey: No?

Entourage Members No?

E  Then how can I wow audiences there, when I've never performed there? And look! [He reads out loud.] Rumour has it E has just finished his most exciting movie ever made! It is sure to break records during the spring holidays. [He takes his eyes away from the page.] Any of you fellas see me do a movie?

Entourage Members No?

E:  [Frowns.] Somebody has been getting rides on my face! 

Sandy: Well it's good publicity for you - it'll gain interest for your new performances. 

E:  Yeah, but my poster says, "The Year's Most Exciting Comeback Special - Featuring E and The Symphonies Choir." Now how can it be a comeback, when I'm already printed in the paper as having performed and acted in the months since?

Sandy: [Shrugs.]

E:  [Runs a strained hand through his hair.] What do I do? Tell them they haven't hired me?

Casey: [Picks up the magazine, and looks at the picture.] Sure looks like you - maybe a little more tanned, and a little more youthful, but?

E:  [Snatches the magazine off Casey, crumples it up, and throws it away.]

Casey: Hey?

Sandy: It's not the end of the world - maybe directors will pick up interest if you've done a good job. It has obviously impressed someone, otherwise it wouldn't be printed about.

E:  [Thinks.] Maybe? Yeah, maybe it'll be a good thing! Maybe it'll just make me more famous? [Thinks.] Maybe it's just what I need. [Frowns.] Maybe?

Casey: That should be a song?

E:  Hey Timothy, what do you think about all of this?

Timothy [Looks to E half stoned.] What?

E:  About impersonators catching gigs off of my face?

Timothy [Shrugs.] I don't know - there are good and bad sides to it I guess?

Casey: Like what?

Timothy Like that kid who claimed she was kissed by him - that's bad.

E:  [Frowns.] Yeah, I don't need any of that?

Timothy On the other hand, maybe it'll help you get work; [Closes his eyes.] I don't know? If you want a body double then it's up to you on how hard you want to play, or fight.

E:  [Thinks.]


[Bobby sings for a packed audience.]

Bobby: And that's good rocking and rolling tonight... [Ends song.]

Audience [Claps and whistles.]

Bobby: Hey, you people are beautiful - thanks! [Leaves.]

Club Manager Good show? [Meets him at the wings and gives him eight hundred dollars.] You got good energy...

Bobby: Thank you. [Takes the money.]

Club Manager There's just one problem?

Bobby: What's that?

Club Manager [Gives him a newspaper where it says there's a singing special scheduled for that night in another state.] How can you be singing in two different states on the one night?

Bobby: [Looks at the newspaper, and smiles.] Just part of fame, and fortune - everybody wants to be somebody famous.

Club Manager [Narrows his eyes, and laughs.] If you aren't the real thing, you'll get into trouble one day...

Bobby: Nah? [Points to the paper.] This fella will get into trouble...

Club Manager [Smiles.] I've looked at you long enough to know what is authentic, and what isn't. That payment should be halved - but, what can I say? It was just as good as any other - if not better; that's the only reason why I didn't touch it.

Bobby: [Smiles.]

Club Manager You want some advice?

Bobby: I'll take whatever you want to give.

Club Manager Take your loot, and go on home - you can't dance on someone else's name. [Throws him a towel.] Compliments from the house - now get out of here.

Bobby: [Catches the towel, and wipes at his face.] Thanks?

Club Manager [Leaves.]

[Bobby shoulders the towel, and departs out the back entrance. A huge gathering of fans are situated there to meet him. They scream as he appears, and surround him like a flood]

Bobby: Hey? wow?

Fan01: Sign my autograph!

Fan02: Sign mine!

Fan03: Mine first!

Fan04: [Grabs his towel.] I have his towel!

Bobby: Hey! That's my towel!

Photographer [Flashes a camera in his face.] What a scoop! [Flashes that camera a few more times before running off.]

Bobby: Hey! You! I want endorsements for those photos!

Fan05: Sign my T-shirt?

Fan06: Sign my book?

Fan07,08,09 Sign our posters!

Bobby: Okay? okay? [He grabs a pen.] What's your name hon?

Fan05: Cherry. [Spells out the name.] C.H.E.R.R.Y. 

Bobby: [Signs.]

Fan05: [Watches him concentrate - then when he finishes she jumps up, and kisses him.]

[Other fans squeal.]

Fan03: Mine next!

[More, and more, fans gather until Bobby is so swamped he can't walk a step.]


[Meanwhile E sings on stage to a very dry group. His voice is off a pitch all night, and his songs are a struggle to get through. He tries his best to do his best - but the sounds just don't come out right. His voice is drowned out by his choir, and the rest of the singing is dreary and strained. A mild applause ends his torturous experience - no encore is asked for. 

After the show E goes to the backstage room and sweats off his worry.

Choir Member01 Don't worry, it was a great show - the audience was just too old.

Choir Member02 Yeah, they just didn't get the E experience.
.
E:  [Rolls his eyes, unconvinced.]

Choir Member03
 I think some were just deaf...

E:  Thanks for the pick up lines, but this mind ain't being appeased at all. Catch ya next time fellas. [E leaves with Sandy and Cory.]

[E gets into his car, and is driven home in silence.]

E:  [As the car stops in the garage.] Hey, what do you think happened tonight?

Sandy: I don't know - I haven't really seen you perform live before.

Cory:  I think it sounded like you had too much water in your gut - maybe you should quit sipping on stage.

E:  [Laughs.] I do that and you'll be hearing a mule for the rest of the night! [Laughs and hops out of the car.]


[E goes into the house while the other two entourage members relax on the lawn. Inside of the house he grabs a cold steak sandwich, and heads upstairs.]

Evelyn: [Looks at him from the window.] Eating again?

E:  I just finished performing. I need something substantial.

Evelyn: [Scoffs.] The only thing you need is a diet pill!

E:  [E pauses before his next bite.] For the last time I ain't fat! 

Evelyn: Say it to a tape measure, and make yourself believe it. [Looks as he turns away, and bends to undo his shoelaces]. You've got a rip in the back there - if that don't show you you've put on weight, nothing will.

E:  [Stiffly returns to upright, and feels the seam of his pants.]

Evelyn: Well don't stand in front of me while you poke out your butt hole for goodness sakes!

E:  [E gives her a stare, turns, and then moves to finish his sandwich in the bathroom.] [E checks out his split seam in the mirror, and frowns, before throwing the sandwich in the toilet. He looks in the mirror again, and sees a pasty reflection of himself. He then takes out a few vials of pills, and almost takes a handful when he stops. He picks up a toothbrush, goes to the toilet to gag up what he has already eaten, and then takes the pills.]


[The next morning E comes down the stairs looking like death itself.]

Scott: Hey E! Come in here!

E:  [Goes to the comfy room where members are muttering over a newspaper article.]

Scott: I don't remember you being swamped.

E:  [Picks up the paper, and reads out loud.] E, the greatest star in the world, shines on stage and attracts record crowds. Girls can't keep their hands off of him! [He looks at the picture of him being swamped by girls.]

Scott: Maybe we should take this double thing more seriously - someone's marking territory on your fame.

E:  [Sighs, as he looks at the picture.] He looks like me, exactly like me.

Casey: [Looks.] Well, not exactly.

Evelyn: [From the couch as she feeds Eve a bottle.] You've got to look in a mirror E - you look awful! This guy looks like what you should look like - if anything he's doing you a favour.

E:  I don't like your tone Evelyn?

Evelyn: Well everyone's thinking it - I'm the only person in the world who has the guts to tell you. [Looks to Eve, and lifts up the bottle.]

E:  [Scowls.] Is that true - you're all thinking it? 

Entourage Members [Look to each other.]

Evelyn: Of course they are! If you look at the back you'll see a review of your performance. I think it's titled, "Local impersonator sings until audience cries no more!"

E:  That's not funny Evelyn!

Timothy Actually E, that is what it says - page forty-three if you want to look.

E:  [Frowns, looks at the page briefly, and then backs out of the room with newspaper in hand.]

Evelyn: Oh look? he's going to cry in his little dark room in the garage.

E:  [Turns, and goes to the garage.]

[Sandy gets up to follow, but Casey puts a hand on his arm.]

Casey: Just give him ten minutes.

Sandy: I'll wait on the lawn. [Leaves.]


[E runs to the garage, and impatiently opens the door to the empty room.]

Nicola: [Jumps as E barges inside.]

E:  [Pushes the newspaper into her hands.] Read what's on page forty-three honey?

Nicola: What?

E:  Page forty-three! Read on what's on page forty-three!

Nicola: [Turns to page forty-three.] Uhm? [Scans the articles.]

E:  There one titled 'Local Impersonator?'

Nicola: Oh yes? [She reads out loud.] Local impersonator sings until audience cries no more! [Pauses, and clears her throat.] Last night audiences were enraged to find out that?

E:  [Snatches the paper, and reads out loud.] Find out that musical act was in fact a severely poor mimic of what audience would expect from the real E. Many viewers asked for their money back after having suffered through three hours of off-pitch singing by an unknown amateur performer. Talent organiser has apologised, and have adhered to all refund requests? [E reads the rest to himself, and then throws the paper to the floor.] [E sits down, and puts a hand to his head.]

Nicola: [Wearily.] Are you okay? 

E:  No? [Looks at her.] I haven't changed that much - have I?

Nicola: [Shakes her head, and shrugs.]

E:  [Frowns, and then looks away.]

Nicola: [Looks at him.] Well if you want total honesty? you do look?

E:  [Holds his breath.]

Nicola: Older.

E:  [Sighs, and laughs, at the same time.] Thankfully? someone said a different word!

Nicola: What word is usually said?

E:  Never mind. [Looks at her.] It has been quite different living here I'll bet.

Nicola: Living?

E:  Staying then?

Nicola: [Raises her eyebrows.] Staying?

E:  [Smiles.] Never you mind.

Nicola: Isn't it about time I got myself home?

E:  No. [Looks at her, and smiles.]

Nicola: [Starts to cry.]

E:  Hey don't be like that? [Moves to her, and puts an arm around her.] Things aren't that dire?

Nicola: Oh what would you know! [Looks at herself.] Look at me! 

E:  You look fine.

Nicola: Fine?! No, I don't look fine! I look disgusting! I feel dirty! There's grit all over my clothes, the bed itches, my back has bruises from the floor bed being so hard?

E:  [Catches her chin.] Honey, you look just fine. [Kisses her.]

Nicola: [Shivers, and looks at E as he breaks the kiss briefly.] Are you hot? Or am I freezing?

 E: [Smiles.] It's a little bit of both, I think? [Kisses her again.]


[Bobby gets lined up for a heap of shows at his next venue. He sells out each one. Press notice the peculiar behaviour in him refusing to attend interview - however the media instead goes crazy about taking his picture, and keeping up to date with his performance schedule, and movie projects. 

Offers get shot at Bobby after every performance. Bobby refuses some, blushes at others, and then continues to accept live gigs and movies too good to refuse. 

Bobby gets fans following him. He signs autographs day and night, and gets minutes of sleep only. He becomes jaded and moody - but performs great shows. He mainly gets reprieve during pre-show waiting as he clocks out to sleep on tables, piano's, floors - virtually anything that will hold his weight. One afternoon he gets his picture taken while resting on a make-up table, and fans go wild.]


[Bobby finishes a show. When the light have died out the audience flocks outside to greet him at the exit from the studio, but the event manager exits Bobby through the kitchen so that he can avoid the crowds. Bobby walks through the dark black streets in order to get back to the hotel that he is staying at. As he does so he gets into trouble with some ruffians who live and sleep in the cracked streets.]

Ruffian01  [Looks at Bobby as he walks past. He flicks a lighter twice.]

Ruffian02  [Pounces on Bobby before the next block, and wrestles him.]

Bobby: [Sees a glint in the low light, and knows there is a knife - he attacks Ruffian02, and gets the knife out of his hand. As the knife falls to the ground, Bobby blows the stranger's nose with a punch that hurts his knuckles to the bone.]

Ruffian01  [Comes from behind the tousling pair, and blindly shoots.] 

Bobby: [Bobby feels the bullet hit his body, and hits the ground.]

Ruffian01  [Ruffian01 collects his friend, and leaves.]

Bobby: [Bobby waits, panting through a whole heap of pain.]


[E walks down the staircase.]

Sandy: [Meets him at the base.] You ain't gonna be happy when you read this.

E:  [Reaches for the newspaper in Sandy's hand, and reads out loud.] E amazes at performances.  His voice is astounding. Critics vouch his voice is better then ever. At each performance end he is swamped by girls wanting autographs. E is BACK, and it is BIG. [Thinks, as he looks at a blown up picture of the new E.] Is this what counts as an article these days?

Sandy: [Shrugs.] Must, cause it's there - the only worrying thing is that you are here.

E:  True? [Thinks.] Maybe I should see this act?

Sandy: [Takes out the other newspaper from behind his back.] That was yesterdays paper - this is today's.

E:  [Smiles.] More good news? He hasn't married another woman has he? [Unfolds it.] E! Missing! E's legendary performance has been halted due to his lack of appearance. He was due at the Ampster Theatre from eleven am, and has so far failed to show up over the last twenty-four hours. Where he has gone? Nobody knows. Management has vouched that E will return to finish the shows booked for the rest of the week, and will re-schedule more performances to ensure nobody misses out on the E experience. We can only cry one thing - COME BACK E!

Sandy: Your little act has gone missing.

E:  It's about time!

Sandy: But can't you see? Where one is missing, one can fill in... [Takes out tickets.] There's a group of tickets here, that will take you there within hours. 

E:  What if this fake shows? 

Sandy: Then we'll press charges - it's the perfect set up, and put us boys into good use.

E:  [Thinks.] That's very cunning.

Sandy: [Smiles.] I know;

E:  Yeah, I'll do it!

[E goes to him room and quickly packs for travel. Evelyn looks out the window ignoring him as he moves around. E stiffly motions through a quick dress, that leaves his looks something to admire. On his way out Evelyn finally turns her head, and her eyes bulge out from their sockets at his handsome appearance.]

Evelyn: [She gasps.]

E:  [Slams
 the door behind him.]

Evelyn: [Stutters.] E-E?

[E meets his entourage at the bottom of the stairs and leaves.]


[Bobby sits on a train holding his bag to his chest. His body sweats through pain, as he nurses a band shoulder wound. People look at him, but ignore him because of his slightly dishevelled appearance. Bobby counts his way through stops, and then finally reaches his destination. 

Bobby gets off the train, walks off the platform, and ambles to E's mansion. He tries to hitch a ride by sticking out his thumb, but gets no help from the passing drivers. Bobby barges into the house when he reaches it, almost collapsing at entry. He looks around and sees the house empty.]

Bobby: [Bobby drops his bag on the ground, and feels his knees tremble.] Hello?! Hello?! It's me! [ Bobby blinks as his vision blurs, and he gasps through some more steps.] Hello?! [He sees a shadow on the staircase.] Hello? [Faints.]

Evelyn: Bobby! [She rushes to him.] What's wrong with you? [She takes her hand away from his shirt, and gasps.] Blood? Where'd you get blood from? [She rolls him on his back, and undoes his shirt front.] More blood? Are you wounded? Talk to me Bobby! [Takes out a handkerchief, and wipes some of the blood away.  The blood smears, and thins out enough for her to be able to see a small hole.] This is a bullet wound? [Looks to him.] Who would have shot you Bobby! [She sniffs back some tears.] I'll get some water to clean it up!

[Evelyn completes her first attempt at first aid. She pours some hot water over his shoulder wound, and starts to wipe away blood with a cloth. When the blood starts to run, she begins to feel faint.]

Evelyn: I need bandage - that's what I need! There's some upstairs? [Evelyn runs upstairs, and looks in the medical cabinet.] None here! [Evelyn thinks about where a bandage could be kept. She snaps her fingers when she remembers an idea.]  E decided he needed them stored in the garage, cause they made good waxing cloths for the car! [She rummages through a drawer, takes out a spare set of keys, and then runs to the garage.] 


[Evelyn goes to the first garage closet, opens it, and finds Nicola who sits up rubbing her eyes at her entry.]

Evelyn: [Evelyn gasps.] Who are you?

Nicola: [Murmurs.] What?

Evelyn: [Gets angry.] Why are you in here?

Nicola: I?

Evelyn: [Shakes her head as she remembers Bobby, and then gasps at a bright idea.] Do you know how to heal a wounded shoulder?

Nicola: I've healed a wound before - it was an axe wound that needed stitching.

Evelyn: [Gasps.] You can stitch?

Nicola: [Rubs her eyes.] Yes... well not medically, but?.

Evelyn: Follow me - I've just got to get the bandages? [She goes to the next cupboard, opens it, and gets the stash of bandages. She then turns, and shows them to Nicola.] Will this do?

Nicola: Yeah, it should - I think.

Evelyn: Come on then! Hurry! 


[Nicola follows Evelyn to the house, where Bobby has collapsed on the light coloured carpet in the entrance foyer.]

Nicola: Who is he?

Evelyn: Somebody important! [She hands Nicola the bandage.]

Nicola: Okay, you might need some disinfectant - vinegar will do, or some liquor...

Evelyn: [Looks at the keys with shaking hands, and sees there's no liquor cabinet copy.] Vinegar it is?

Nicola: I need a knife! And hot water!

Evelyn: [Rushes to the kitchen, hastily prepares the things, and then runs to Nicola's side spilling half the water on the way.]

Nicola: I need thread, and a lit candle... [She takes the things already given, and starts to work on the wound.]

Evelyn: [Goes and collects the items, and then comes back.] Anything else?

Nicola: Yeah, help me get him on his side?

Evelyn: [She does so.]

Nicola: [Looks at Evelyn as she pauses the knife by the wound at the back.] Are you sure you don't want a professional?

Evelyn: [Shakes her head.]

Nicola: Well, here it goes? [She digs the knife in, and easily gets the bullet out. She then cleans it, disinfects it, and finally with blood-stained hands she starts to stitch.]

Evelyn: How do you know this?

Nicola: You'd be surprised how many accidents there are at home?

Evelyn: [Watches, and waits while the stitches are being completed.]


[The job of stitching takes a good long while. Evelyn watches all the way through the procedure, half expecting Bobby to wake up at each skin pierce.]

Nicola: [Cuts the last thread with the knife, and then bandages the shoulder.] This isn't really necessary - ma just did this to remind my dad that he was actually wounded; otherwise he'd go out, bust the stitches, and we'd have to do it all over again. [Smiles, and then pauses.] Got any tape? 

Evelyn: [Rushes upstairs to get some tape, then comes back down, and lets Nicola finish.]

Nicola: There, what do you think?

Evelyn: I think you're a genius! But there's just one more thing...

Nicola: What?

Evelyn: What the hell were you doing in that damn cupboard?!

Nicola: Well, that's quite a story?

Evelyn: [Crosses her arms.] I've got all the time in the world...


[E gets suited up for his performance. The Event Manager looks at him through eyes of speculation all the way.]

Event Manager   Your weight certainly goes up and down, don't it?

E:  Well, I take pills you know?

Event Manager   [Huffs.] Typical movie star trick. 

E:  Yeah, well we're always too busy to exercise.

Event Manager   You got all the songs lined up?

E:  Sure do?

Timothy [Comes in.] E, can I have a word?

E:  Sure partner!

Timothy [Looks to Event Manager.] In private?

Event Manager   [Shrugs.] I'll be right outside.

[E and Timothy watch him leave.]

E:  So, what's the matter?

Timothy I want to chuck one of the back up singers from your choral group - Miss Rose. I was listening in rehearsal, and she still drowns out everyone around.]

E:  No way.

Timothy She drowns you out too!

E:  The audience hears her the best.

Timothy That's right? but it's you they came to hear.

E:  The music don't feel right without her in the group.

Timothy It don't sound right with her in the group.

E:  [Laughs.] Well, can't have it all?

Timothy My advice would be to dump her.

E:  Look, it's close to curtain - it's too late to make changes. Now let's just go out, and have a blast!

Timothy Well, I've warned you?

E:  [Laughs, and exits to go on stage.]

Timothy [Reluctantly follows.] This is going to be yet another lousy one?


[E gets on stage, and greets the audience. He introduces his musicians, and singers, one at a time. He then starts his first song - it's an old slow one, and the audience gets into it a little. Then comes some more upbeat ones. The more he has to show any vocal talent, the less he gets cued pitches, and tunes. The backup singers overpower him in most songs and leave the audience confused, sad, and then angry. Some audience members exit while the music plays, others flip through magazines, and others still politely fan themselves until the act is over. 

E gets mild applause as he finishes. He then helps himself to an extended version of a very annoying song that sounds terrible. E bows, and then leaves.]

[Event Manager approaches E in the wings.]

Event Manager   Who the hell are you? You ain't what I heard the other day - you're? [He scowls.] Are you an impersonator? 

E:  No.

Event Manager   Then get better - fast! [He pokes E in the chest.] Your pay-check is going to sail out the window if you aren't careful! [E walks off.]

Timothy [Turns on E.] Didn't I tell you? [He storms to the back room to get changed.]

E:  [Follows Timothy, and slams the dressing room door closed.] Okay lay it on me thick, and greasy -  what the hell is wrong?

Timothy [Looks at the others crammed inside the small room, and then clears his throat.] The backup singers.

[Backup Singers scoff.]

Singer01 Excuse me?

Singer02 What do you mean us? 

Timothy That Miss Rose there is drowning out everyone else!

 Singer03/Rose   Me? What do you mean me?

E:  What do you want her to do? Whisper the words?

Timothy It may be an idea?

E:  [Laughs.]

Timothy The band is off key - they slow and hurry the beat until the music sounds off. You should just get rid of them!

E:  The band? [Laughs.] The band is the blood of the music Timothy - what do you think people are listening to?

Timothy [Shakes his head.] If you don't want to take me serious, then you can continue on your own without my help. [Timothy shoulders his bag.]

Singer03/Rose   Well maybe we's don't need your help! Maybe you are the problem! I hear you whispering the words, and then singing high alto - you ain't all that! We could do without you!

Timothy Then do just that? [Eyes E as he shifts his pack.] I'm out of here. 

E:  [Frowns.] Timmy, don't be like that now?

Timothy You don't care about music E - the audience can hear that you don't care. 

E:  Of course I do...

Timothy No you don't! Otherwise you might listen; otherwise you might?

E:  [Snaps.] Not every decision in your head is right Timmy!

Timothy Well, you tell me after you try it - but maybe you can't hear the difference anyway. [He leaves.]

E:  [Turns tempered.] Well if I can't hear the difference, maybe it's not important! [E turns to face the group.] We're all right - ain't we fella's, and gals?

[The remaining group cheers their self-worthiness.]

E:  Just as I thought. 


[E continues on through the shows. He gets mild applause as he finishes each booking. However, before one performance he then gets the brilliant idea to get off his head on pills in order to heighten his self-esteem. He gets more applause from the audience, as he noticeably tackles through each song. Finally the concerts dates are over, and the Event Manager passes E his cash.]

Event Manager   [Scowls.] Never come back again! [Puts a cigar in his mouth, and leaves.]

E:  [Looks at the money, and smiles.] Wow, haven't seen green in a while?

Event Manager   [Pauses at the door.] There might be
 a reason for that!

Reporter03  [Sticks his head through the door, and takes a picture.] What a scoop! [He runs off down the hall.]

Event Manager   [Leaves.]

E:  I meant I usually get cheques! [E gets frustrated, and then finally leaves the building.]


[At the house Evelyn picks up a newspaper that has a picture of E on the cover.]

Evelyn   [Reads a newspaper report out loud.] Act E struggles on to close concert - reports from viewers are that he seems to have caught a cold, one which should have hospitalised him for months. [She reads the comments from concert spectator's out loud.] "He struggles through each song, and then with a deep breath he ends the songs on uneven notes. The poor fellow should be in a medical bed." says a nurse who was in a crowd of three hundred on Tuesday night.
[She reads some more spectator's comments.] "We thought he'd collapse on stage - we thought he'd die." reports a group of teary-eyed fans. [She reads the article.] It is obvious he has lost everything he had gained at his comeback after months of vacation. Spectators suggest that a rigorous twenty-four hour schedule was just too much for him in the end - that his voice literally crumbled on the strain. [She reads out the last of the spectator's comments.] "He's just not the same person." another fan complains. "I was at the first show, and it just breaks my heart to see what showbiz does to a person!"

[Evelyn scans the picture of E.]

Evelyn   [Evelyn murmurs.] Oh boy! Can anyone see how many drugs he's put into his belly? He's probably as high as a rocket again! Everyone seems to think he sounds good that way! [She frowns, and then throws the newspaper into the fireplace.]

Bobby: [From his couch.] What did it say?

Evelyn: It said you were better - he's washed up. [She pauses.] They said he's dying, can you believe that? [Laughs, and pauses.] I wonder if we'll get sympathy cheques?

Bobby: [Laughs.] What do you need cheques for? You've got fifteen grand...

Evelyn: True? [She smiles at Bobby.] The great thirty grand E?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] That's no celebrity pricing?

Evelyn: It's still impressive. [She kisses him.]

Bobby: [Kisses her back.]

Evelyn: [Smiles, and blushes.] I knew that kid wasn't E's?

Bobby: Well hold up? [Pushes her away.]

Evelyn: What?

Bobby: What?!

Evelyn: What!

Bobby: You think I'm brain dead? That thing is E's! 

Evelyn: It don't look like E!

Bobby: [Shakes his head.] No, no, no? I got you some money - I haven't gotten you an idiot!

Evelyn: [Smiles.]

Bobby: [Frowns.] Maybe I am an idiot - maybe I should have left town, and never come here!

Evelyn: But you did, for your love?

Bobby: [Snaps.] I don't have any love! My love is twisted round a bottle cap, and drenched through the fat of a burger! Love? [He flicks his hand out in a dismissive motion.] Bah, I did us a favour!

Evelyn: Yes.. us? and you can do it again!

Bobby: [Shakes his head.]

Evelyn: And people will love you...

Bobby: No! [Looks at his shoulder.] I ain't doing it again - next time a round might go through my chest!

Evelyn: Why not? They love you! You could make so much more?

Bobby: I was riding the stakes for a quick fix - not for a career! Me be him? Just one person from his possie has to see me, and I'll be toast! [Looks at her.] Now I ran I risk, I ain't running it again - it's dangerous!

Evelyn: [Pouts.] You're unfair?

Bobby: I gave you fifteen grand - that's unfair? I gave you half of what I have, and I ain't even married to you!

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Love?

Bobby: No - love's fantastical. It ain't real, and it ain't for me. [Looks at his shoulder.] Now you helped me heal, and I gave you money - we're even; the pact breaks here!

Evelyn: [Frowns.]

Bobby: I ain't doing no more! I've been laying here like live bait in a lions den. I'd best be leaving anyhow? [Goes to the front door, and pauses in front of it.] I best be getting on with a real life!

Evelyn: Bobby!

E:  [Bursts through the door, and bangs the door into Bobby's face.] Oh! 

Bobby: [Turns groaning as he cups his nose.] Ohhh!

E:  Bobby! Pal! Sorry man! [Looks to Evelyn.] Hey Evelyn - I just earnt us six thousand in a few days!

Evelyn: [Wrinkles her nose.] So? [Looks to Bobby, and then goes upstairs.]

Bobby: [Holds his nose as it bleeds.]

E:  Sorry Bobby? [E yells to his approaching entourage.] Someone get him a towel! [To Bobby.] What a trip I've had Bobby, I can't wait to tell you about it... [He pauses.] Where have you been?

Bobby: [Bobby groans, and blood spills down his fingers.]

E:  [Yells.] I said towel!

Evelyn: [Comes down the stairs with Nicola as everyone in the entourage circles around Bobby to try and get the bleeding to stop. Evelyn reaches the bottom of the staircase.] E?

E:  [Concentrates on Bobby's face.] Hold it up there pal, it'll slow the blood flow...

Evelyn: [Raises her voice.] E!

E:  What? [Doesn't look her way.]

Evelyn: [Shouts.] E!

E:  What?! [Turns his head, and his blood freezes when he sees Nicola standing next to Evelyn.]

Evelyn: [Stares him down.] Seems I found a runaway while you were gone?

E:  [Clears his throat as the others keep their attention on Bobby.]

Casey: [Runs inside from the kitchen.] I got ice cubes! 

E:  [Hurriedly walks up to Evelyn who is levitated by a few stairs.] So?

Evelyn: [Shrugs, and smiles.] Just letting you know? [She glances at the entourage.] 

E:  [Glances at Nicola, and narrows his eyes.]

Evelyn: [Catches E's gaze.] Don't blame her now -  I was the one who found the spare keys. You remember the spare keys don't you E?

E:  [Clears his throat as a groan is heard gurgling out of Bobby's throat.] Maybe we should discuss this upstairs...

Evelyn: [Smiles.] Yes, lets!

E:  [Turns to the entourage as he hears Bobby scream.]

Bobby: What the hell was that?

Sandy: Just something to clean it?

Bobby: Well it's not a gunshot! It a nose! [He feels his nose with trembling hands.] Does it feel broken? 

Ian:  [Squeezes it.]

Bobby: Owwww! 

E:  Why not get him to a hospital? [He passes a large bank note to Casey.] Get it looked at... 

Casey: [Takes the note.] Got it? [To the entourage.] Okay fellas! To the car! Come on now! 

[The group disperses into half immediately as Bobby is ushered out of the house - the remaining other half go to the sitting room.]


[E sighs, and goes upstairs.]

Evelyn: [As E comes through the bedroom door.] He comes?

E:  [Closes the door, and glances at Nicola who sits on the edge of the bed.]

Evelyn: [Crosses her arms.] So? What have you to got to say?

E:  [Shrugs.] What has already been said?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Why don't you tell me what you know?

E:  [Shrugs.] Why should I tell you what you might already know?

Evelyn: [Scowls, and looks to Nicola.] It's Mr Hard-ball today... [Laughs.]

E:  [Rolls his eyes.]

Evelyn: You love her or something? [She looks at Nicola, and smiles.] She is sort of appealing - looks like me now her hair is cut the same way as mine, don't you think?

E:  [Scowls.] No?

Evelyn: Well from the head frame it does look a little like me? [She looks back to E.] Well? Are you going to tell me, or should I ? oh I don't know? [Turns dark.] Tell the police?!

E:  You ain't gonna tell no one, you hear?!

Evelyn: So you tell me then, what made you want to put a girl in a secret garage spot?

E:  It was for best interests sake!

Evelyn: [Laughs.] Best interests? Yeah, your best interests!

E:  You don't know how it is?

Evelyn: Oh I know how it is! A king gets a wife, and a harem! [She looks at Nicola.] Kind of peasant, don't you think?

E:  [Looses his temper.] She weren't brought here for no harem! She was brought here so she'd stop putting claims in the paper!

Evelyn: Claims? What claims?

E:  [Sneers.] Never you mind...

Evelyn: [Narrows her eyes.] Oh, the kind of claims that got you your groupie I'll bet! [Laughs.] The kind of claims that could ruin a career I'll bet! Despicable, dis-respectable, under merit acts! [Looks to Nicola, and then looks to E with fury in her eyes.] The kind of claims that would circle you out to be the kind of scum hole, ball dragging, illustrious, imbecile, that you really are!

E:  [Snaps.] That's enough!

Evelyn: No! That's not nearly enough! I've just gotten started - I'm not even warm...

E:  [Grabs her by the collar of her shirt, and shakes her.] Your feet are in hot water, don't you dare move in any more! [Lets her go.]

Evelyn: [Scowls while she trembles on the inside.] What about us? What about your vows?! I could get claims for divorce for this discrepancy!

E:  [E runs a hand through his hair as his neck-tie seems to choke him.]

Evelyn: What about trust? You have broken it now! What about respect? You don't care about that? What about family? What about?

E:  [Walks to Nicola, and punches her hard in the face so that she sprays blood on the bedding.] What about nothing - this girl don't mean crap to me! [Takes his belt off.] And there's one way I can prove it? 

[Evelyn jumps, and steps back as E's shadow dances on the wall, as he gives Nicola a thrashing.]

Eve:  [Cries.]

Evelyn: [Finds her voice.] For goodness sakes stop it! Beating someone doesn't prove anything!

E:  [Gasps, and throws the belt away.] Then what? What can I do to prove that it's nothing but genuine?

Evelyn: [Goes up to him, and slaps him.] You swine! 

Nicola: [Sits up from the sheets, and wipes some blood off of her nose.] 

E:  [Feels his cheek.] What was that for? 

Evelyn: [Cries, and turns away.]

Nicola: [Cries, as she wipes her face clean.]

Eve:  [Cries.]

E:  [Blinks back his own tears.] It's for the best of everybody? [Looks to Nicola.] Maybe I should put you back in the garage?

Evelyn: Just leave her! 

E:  [Stops before he grabs hold of Nicola's strap-stung arm]. It's not right you all just crying in front of me? [Taps Nicola's arm.] Get up?

Nicola: [Stands.]

E:  [Grabs her wrist.] It's just not right? [Steps
 round the bed, and glares at the crying baby.] Can you turn that thing off Evelyn? [Pushes Nicola into the bathroom, and follows her in.]

Evelyn: [Looks at Eve.]

E:  [To Nicola.] Go use the sink? [Paces around.]

Nicola: [Approaches the sink, and washes her face clean. She then looks in the mirror, and touches her swollen nose.]

E:  [Sniffs.] It's not broken too is it?

Nicola: No? [Pokes it again, and moves it a little.] It's just fine, but it's bleeding? [She puts her head back as more blood trickles out. Then holds her breath as she pinches the nose.]

E:  What is that for?

Nicola: Well, when you do this it stops bleeding noses. My sister used to get them, she figured it out... 

E:  Yeah, I was told to just do the tilt...

Nicola: It takes less time to stop with the pinch?

E:  Oh. 

Nicola: [Goes to sit on the toilet seat, puts it down, and sits.] You sometimes get dizzy, so it's best to sit.

E:  [Goes to the medicine cabinet, takes out some pills, and takes them. He then breaks one, and puts it in a mouthwash cup.] Here, drink this - it'll be good for you.

Nicola: [Takes her head down.] What's that? 

E:  [Wipes off a new trail of blood with his fingers.] It's just water, with a bit of powder.

Nicola: What's it for?

E:  To make the world right?

Nicola: [Wipes her nose again, and then takes the cup.] It won't make me grow three eyes will it?

E:  [Laughs, then takes out five pills, and plops them inside his mouth.] See that? That was five. In that cup - there's one.

Nicola: I guess it won't be too bad? For just this once? [She gulps the water and some dripped blood. She then holds her head up, and puts toilet paper to her face.] I guess it might take a little more time then usual for it to stop?

E:  Time is all there is... [Smiles, and then cups some water into his mouth to swallow the pills.]


[E take Nicola back to the main bedroom area when her nose has stopped bleeding.]

Evelyn: [Eyes E as he comes out of the bathroom.]

E:  [Eyes her back.]

Nicola: [Comes out.]

Evelyn: Nose all better?

Nicola: [Nods.]

Evelyn: [To E.] So, what are we going to do with her? [Looks to Eve who starts to whine.]

E:  [Looks to Eve.] Dye it?

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes to E.] Not Eve! Her?

E:  [Looks to Nicola.] Well, we can't send her home - the brat will squeal?

Evelyn: Don't talk that filth! Talk properly - use her name.

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] We can't send her back.

Evelyn: So? She can't be seen? She can't be moved? Is she supposed to just stay in here? Out of sight? Forever?

E:  I can put her in the garage?

Evelyn: Don't be inhumane.

E:  [Shrugs.] You really are testing me aren't you? 

Evelyn: This situation is! I've never been part of? [She looks to him sharply.] You know this is a criminal offence?

E:  [Shrugs.]

Evelyn: When I married you I never would have thought it would come to this? [Looks to Nicola who stands in the corner.]

E:  You're sweating where it's cool water. Don't sweat it.

Evelyn: This is cool water? 

E:  [Shrugs.]

Evelyn: She? [Looks to Nicola then to E.] Follow me E?  [She moves to the bathroom.]

E:  [Locks the bedroom door, and then follows Evelyn.]

Evelyn: [Closes the door.] She just has to scream, and those dumb log heads downstairs will turn on you! They can't be so blaze about the news issues! 

E:  Well you didn't think about that when you dragged her down the stairs earlier.

Evelyn: I was mad - I didn't care if you got caught!

E:  So she'll stay in this place. If you don't want her in the garage, this might have to do.

Evelyn: [Scowls, and crosses her arms.] This is so like you - you get the best of the worst of predicaments!

E:  What best?

Evelyn: What best? She gets to stay in here!

E:  It was your idea - don't scream at me!

Evelyn: [Frowns, and then turns her back.] The awful thing is it really is the best place? [Turns to face E.] But don't you think I'm liking it at all!

E:  I don't suspect you are?

Evelyn: Cause I'm not!

E:  [Nods.]

Evelyn: [Tsks.] Get out of my way? [Pushes him out of the way.]

E:  [Obliges with a grin.]

Evelyn: [Walks out.] Hi?

Nicola: Hi?

Evelyn: Rules are, you stay in this room, and be quiet. 

Nicola: Quiet?

Evelyn: There is room for you to sleep on the carpet, and you can wash in the shower there daily. It'll be a lot nicer in here then in the den - but? [She sighs.] No one is going to be moved to accommodate you. Do you think that is suitable?

Nicola: [Nods.] It is more accommodating...

Evelyn: I'll say! [Crosses her arms.]

Nicola: [Nods, then sits on a chair.]

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes to E as he emerges from the bathroom.] I need some tuna! [She goes to barge out the door, but is stopped by the lock.] E!

E:  Hang on! [He rushes to the door with the key, and opens it.]

Evelyn: Ugh! [Storms out.]

E:  [Closes the door, and mimics.] Ugh! 

Nicola: [Stares.]

E:  [Looks to her.] Well ain't you lucky?

Nicola: [Shrugs.]

E:  [Shakes his head.] I need to lie down for a minute... [Lies on top of the bed.]

Nicola: [Blinks, and glances at the door.]


[Later that afternoon Bobby comes back to the house, all bandaged up with a broken nose. Evelyn lifts her head from the eating table, and stands up as she sees him enter.]

Evelyn: Bobby!
 
Bobby: Hi! See my nose? Partially fractured! They gave me pills to keep my mind off of it - I'm having the time of my life!

Sandy: [Comes in behind him.] Just you stay seated. 

Bobby: Oh yeah? Evelyn I've got to stay seated. [He goes to the comfy room in order to watch television.] 

Evelyn: [Follows.] Do you want something to eat?

Bobby: No?well?you got tomatoes?

Evelyn: Yes?

Bobby: You got cheese?

Evelyn: Yes?

Bobby: You got pineapple?

Evelyn: No?

Bobby: No?! What kind of world is this?

Entourage Members [Laughs.]

Evelyn: I've got apple!

Bobby: No just get me some tomatoes - I can eat them by the bucket!

Evelyn: Tomatoes?

Bobby: [Nods.]

Evelyn: How about I make you a salad?

Bobby: No! 

Evelyn: [Whispers as she turns to the kitchen.] Tomatoes?! Who in their right mind just eats tomatoes?

Bobby: [Falls into a chair.] There? [He sighs.] Now I can get comfy.


[Evelyn slices tomatoes in the kitchen, and then comes in with a plate of sliced tomatoes.]

Evelyn  Here's your tomatoes? [She pauses.] Bobby?

Sandy: You're too late - he's out cold.

Casey: I'll take them! 

Evelyn: [Sulks, and passes Casey the tomatoes.]

Casey: Mmmm?.

Evelyn: [Frowns.] Well look after him - make sure he doesn't run away. Not with that nose as it is?

Sandy: You got it? [Watches TV.]

Evelyn: [Goes to the bedroom upstairs, where she finds E asleep on the bed, and Nicola fighting sleep.] What's happened around this place? [She sighs.] Well I may as well go to sleep too? [She hops on the bed, and lies down. She looks at E, and then shuffles away from him a little more.]


[In the morning a bird taps on the window to catch a bug - E wakes up to its tapping. He looks ahead, sees Evelyn asleep, and smiles lazily. He then looks to the crib, and yawns. He rubs his eyes, sits up, and stretches. He then looks to the bathroom as he realises he needs to use it. He looks the other way at Nicolas' seat, and jumps when he realises she isn't there.]

E:  Nicola! [Jumps as he looks to the bedroom door.  He rushes to it and opens it - he then looks back at Evelyn, and scowls.] Ugh! 

[E grabs a fresh shirt, keys, and runs downstairs before anyone can blink an eye. E starts the car with his heart pumping in his chest, and then drives. He immediately comes to a fork in the road. He looks left, and sees the road that heads into town - he looks right, and sees the road that leads interstate. E puts his head on the driving wheel, and gives it a few knocks.] 

E:  Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! [He then looks up, and looks left.] Is she smart? [He looks to the right.] Or is she home orientated? [E looks ahead, and sees the beginnings of a forest.] Or maybe she's brave? [He gulps a breath.] Either way, I'm screwed if I don't find her! [E turns to the right, and drives.]


[Bobby wakes up to some nudging.]

Bobby: What?

Evelyn: Hi? [She smiles.] It's nice to see you.

Bobby: Nice to see you too? Did you get me some food?

Evelyn: I have some nice tomatoes right here? [She holds up a plate.]

Bobby: Tomatoes? Who eats those for breakfast? [Bobby chuckles.] Geese! [Shouts.] Better call the orchard!

Evelyn: Bobby! You said you liked tomatoes!

Bobby: [Calms down, and smiles.] That was yesterday?

Evelyn: [Puts the plate down onto a table.]

Casey: [Looks at the plate with interest.]

Evelyn: You can't keep on doing this! Surprising me! Changing your mind!

Bobby: I can do as I please... 

Entourage Members [Chuckle, and keep watching TV.]

Evelyn: I'm serious!

Bobby: [Looks at her, frowns, and then touches her face.] I just realised something?

Evelyn: [Blushes.] What?

Bobby: [Traces her hair with his fingers, and pushes it to the side.] Something important?

Evelyn: [Smiles, and beams.] What?

Bobby: I remember?.  [Gets serious.] I was gonna leave this damn place before you started nit-picking on me! [He gets up.]

Evelyn: Bobby!

Bobby: [To the Entourage Members.] Didn't I have a bag?

Sandy: Behind the door!

Bobby: [Stalks to the door, and picks up his bag.]

Evelyn: Bobby, you can't leave! You're in poor condition?

Bobby: Can't?! I can do what I like sweetheart - I ain't married to nothing! [He leaves the room.]

Evelyn: No! You can't! [She runs ahead, and bars the door with her body.] I'll go crazy without you here Bobby?

Bobby: [Smiles.] Ain't you cute? [Frowns.] But NO! 

[Entourage Members peek into the foyer.]

Evelyn: Bobby! No! [Hits him as he tries to reach for the door knob, and then shudders.]

Bobby: [Grits his teeth, and stares hard at her.] You happy now?

Evelyn: No?

Bobby: [Grabs her, and throws her out of the way.] Stop getting in my way! I ain't your husband! I ain't nothing!

Evelyn: [Evelyn stumbles,
 and falls on the floor.] Bobby! [She gets up.] Bobby! [She runs to the door Bobby has exited.] Bobby! [She cries as he runs to the gate, and jumps over it.]

Sandy: [Steps forward.] Everything all right? 

Evelyn: [Wipes her tears away.] Get off my tail! [She runs upstairs to hide in the bedroom.]

Sandy: I don't see any tail? [Turns to the entourage group.] You?

Entourage Group  [Ignores Sandy as they stare at the foyer. After a moment they turn, and go back to watch TV.]


[E drives along the highway.]

E:  [Thinks aloud.] When did she leave? Why did she leave? She would have had it good? Oh boy, am I dumb?! [He scans the road.] Oh boy? [E drives through the road, and up the highway.] She couldn't have gotten too far, could she? She should have been dozing in an hour after that pill? [E looks around.] This ain't right, oh boy? [E runs a hand over his head, and continues on.] Oh boy?


[Bobby breaks into the forest foliage, and starts walking blindly as mad as hot iron. He treads his feet over the soft spongy ground, occasionally slipping his foot into some kind of mud hole. He walks fast, and becomes very hungry quickly. He ignores his hunger, and keeps walking. He walks, and walks, and walks. He gets stung by birch slaps, and walks through morning cobwebs. His breathing becomes more laborious as the steps ensue.] 

Bobby: This is nature's roughest, having to walk for hours just to get a train somewhere?. anywhere? .as long as it's not near her! As long as it? [Slows, and stops - ahead is a skirt, spread on the soil.] Great! Just the kind of omen that will bring you luck! 

[Bobby approaches with caution, and as he gets closer realises that the skirt is attached to a girl! [Nicola]] Bobby nudges her body with his foot, he then crouches low and checks that she's still breathing by running a flat hand over her mouth and nostrils in a wave.] 

E:  Well, she's still alive. [He touches her cheek, and realises it is frosty cold.] I bet that morning fog warmed you up? [He shakes her once, then again, then a third time a bit harder. Finally he gets exasperated, and squeezes her nostrils closed.]

Nicola: [Comes to wake with a gasp.]

Bobby: [Laughs.] Hey kid, what are you doing here?

Nicola: [Sees Bobby, and sits up with a start. She then looks at him, stands up, and brushes off her skirt. She then gets a little dizzy, and holds onto the tree next to her for support as a wave of slight morning nausea washes over her.]

Bobby: [Laughs.] I heard getting up too fast after waking destroys the brain. [Points to his head.]

Nicola: [Looks at him.] Who are you?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] No one? I was just headed for the train station, and I saw you here?

Nicola: Train station? You know where one is?

Bobby: Sure, why? You headed that way?

Nicola: [Shrugs.] I would be, but I don't have train money. I'll have to walk. I was hoping if I followed the river it'd get me there?

Bobby: Where?

Nicola: Home - down Cole way.

Bobby: Cole? You following a river to Cole?

Nicola: Well, the river passes by everywhere?

Bobby: You have to walk a state across to get to Cole - and you don't know how long a state can take when it's surrounded by dense forest. You might take days to get there - hell, you might take a week! What were you going to live on? Air?

Nicola: [Shrugs.] Well people say you can drink water for days - if you follow a river, there's lots of water...

Bobby: [Laughs.] Water? You planned to march Cole on water? [Laughs.] That's a stitch starter?

Nicola: Well don't laugh! 

Bobby: [Bobby reaches into his pocket, and finds a couple of dollars.] Besides you weren't walking in the right direction - you needed to go the other way. 

Nicola: Really? [Sighs.] Well there goes my progress...

Bobby: [Takes out some loose change from his pocket.] Here, a few dollars, and a few cents - that should by you a one-way trip, and a bite to eat.

Nicola: [Hesitates on taking the money.]

Bobby: It's cash, it won't bite you. 

Nicola: [Holds out her hand.] Thank you sir? [She holds it in her hand with a squeeze.]

Bobby: Say, since we're going the same way - why don't we team up for a while? You might get lost if you traipse on your own - I won't feel right if you get lost?

Nicola: [Shakes her head.]  I'm not sure?

Bobby: I tell you what then - I'm walking to the train station. You can follow me, and I won't take a glance at ya all the way there. 

Nicola: [Smiles.] Well, I guess I could - just this once.

Bobby: Only thing is you have to keep up - I won't slow for you since we're not a team. I'll just keep walking. If you fall behind, you'll be all alone?

Nicola: [Nods.] I understand. 

Bobby: Okay? Here I go? [He starts walking.]

Nicola: [She starts following.]


[E stops his car after two hours straight driving, and parks by the road. He puts his head on the steering wheel as he sweats.]

E:  Damn, it's hot in this car here! [Looks at his hands.] My fingers are all blistered? [E rubs them together.] She couldn't have gotten so far - not on feet! [E sighs.] Maybe she went the other way after all? [E turns around.] I'd better check the other way - if there's nothing there, then it's off to Cole. [E turns the car around.]


[The day passes through. Evelyn finds out that the entourage thinks E is still in his room, and Sandy starts nudging her to wake him up so that they can do something. She covers for him saying he is 'indisposed,' then she retires there herself where she worries the day off her shoulders.]


[E drives fast - but he doesn't find anyone. He gets hungry, and stops at a shop for something to eat. He takes the food on the road, and drives like a speed addict towards town.]


[Bobby stops at a curved bank - his breath wheezing through his mouth and nose.]

Bobby: [Looks at Nicola as she mills about in the near distance.] Boy kid, I thought you would have stopped me for a rest already.

Nicola: I?

Bobby: Oh no don't say it? [He sits.] Hope you don't mind? I do have a broken nose, you know. Well? cracked? whatever...[He feels his nose.]

Nicola: Oh? [She sits down for a breather.]

Bobby: [Sighs.]

Nicola: I never knew the train station would be so far...

Bobby: Well, it's not far now? We can start walking near the road soon - that bend is the water curving inland. The town is close inland.

Nicola: Oh?

Bobby: [Looks over his shoulder.] Maybe I should go to the road now - there might be a shortcut. 

Nicola: [Smiles.]

Bobby: [Glances at her, and laughs lightly.] Say, I haven't got the best memory in the world? but you seem familiar, somehow. 

Nicola: [Shrugs.]

Bobby: [Shrugs.] Maybe you just remind me of someone? [He breathes out.] Boy, I can't wait to sleep! I can't wait to eat! I'm so hungry I could eat bark!

Nicola: [Feels her stomach grumble.]

Bobby: [Looks at her.] Ain't we both smart wise, not bringing food an all...

Nicola: [Looks at the ground.]

Bobby: [Breathes out.] The thought of food makes me want to walk again - the sooner we get to a place, the better. [He stands up.] Okay, let's go! 

Nicola: [Stands up.]

Bobby: Or should I say, I'll go - you can follow. [Turns.] If you want to that is... [He starts to head towards the road.]


[E gets discouraged, and finally turns to continue on towards Cole].

E:  This is a damned headache if I ever had one! [E holds his breath, counts to three, and then gasps.] Okay, one last leg - if she ain't around? [Thinks.] Well, I won't think about it yet? [Gets his car moving.]


[Bobby gasps as he reaches a great marshy slope.]

Bobby: Boy, the ground really levels up... [He turns to face Nicola who is scrambling over a log.] Hope you got your best wits about ya - this is going to be one hell of a climb!

Nicola: [Looks up at the marshy slope, and rolls her eyes as she sees that it is very tall, very sloped, and very marshy.]

Bobby: Your dress ain't gonna look the same.  [He takes a gulp, and then starts tackling the hill.]


[They both climb the hill. After a while Bobby reaches the top, while Nicola struggles on her own.]

Bobby: [Jumps up, and down.] I've made it! [He hears the sound of a car.] And the road ain't far either? [He goes to step towards the road.]

Nicola: Wait! I'm still climbing! 

Bobby: [Stops, looks over the edge, and sees Nicola is only halfway up.] So you are! [He laughs.] Okay, I'll wait, Just don't you be too long!

Nicola: [Climbs, and slips.]

Bobby: [Laughs.] You be careful - don't want you to tumble down, and hit your head.

Nicola: I'll be fine? [Finds some footing, and gets up a little more.]

Bobby: I'm just gonna check out the road - see if there are any signs!

Nicola: Okay!

Bobby: [Goes to walk towards the road. He finds a clearing, and jumps out of the brush - a car swerves, honks at him, and continues on. Bobby jumps back into the safety of the brush.] The road was a lot closer then I thought? [He whistles, looks around, and sees a familiar landmark on the other side of the road.] Yeah, I knew we weren't far? [He smiles.] Just have to wait? [Bobby circles around on a spot.]


[Soon a car corners round a bend, and heads his way. Bobby squints at the car, smiles, and waves.]

[E is in the car, and sneers as he sees a dirt-clad person waving.  E frowns, looks at the road, and then peers back at the person with a bandage over his nose. He smiles, and slows the car.]

E:  [Stops the car on the side of the road a little ahead of Bobby, and then gets out.] [E yells.] Bobby?! Is that you there?

Bobby: E! It's great to see you, man!

E:  What has happened to you?

Bobby: I had to walk here! Evelyn was busting my brains, so I left. It's taken me hours to get here!

E:  [Laughs.] You dope! You would have been in town quicker if you'd taken the short cut!

Bobby: Now you tell me?

E:  [Looks at his clothes.] What have you been doing? Mud wrestling?

Bobby: Ha, ha? [He points back to the brush.] There's a large muddy slope here, I had to climb it.
 [He flicks some mud off his shoulder.]

E:  I wouldn't have recognised you if it weren't for the bandage? [E points to his nose.] I was gonna run you over for being crazy!

Bobby: [Laughs.] Sure? [He smiles, and steps a little closer to E.] So buddy? pal? any chance for a lift? You havin your wheels an all?

E:  [Laughs.] Are you kidding? Look at you! I've got leather in this car, with faux fur covering - white faux fur!

Bobby: So strip it off, and give me a ride. Your pa's place ain't far right? Maybe we could shower?

E:  [Shakes his head with a laugh, then pauses.] We? You got an imaginary friend as well?

Bobby: Nope, I got a real friend - a nice little gal. I found her trying to get to Cole on foot!

E:  [Narrows his eyes.] Cole?

Bobby: Yep, can you believe that? [He laughs.] I said, you're going the wrong way - she said, it's the only way she's going. So I said you can follow me, I'll show you to a train station, and lend you a few dollars. So she tagged along - lucky right?

E:  [Feels his heart beat elevate in rate.] Well, where is she?

Bobby: [Tilts his head.] She's still climbing - it's a little difficult. I'm being nice, and waiting for her.

E:  [E smiles.] Always the gentleman? [He frowns.] Will she be as muddy as you?

Bobby: [Narrows his eyes.] Muddier.

E:  [Grimaces.] Well? [Looks to his car, and sighs.] I guess I can buy new covers - that's sort of what they're there for, after all.

Bobby: Great! 

E:  I'll wait in the car for you - just you make sure you both hop in the back! No point in getting both passenger strips dirty.

Bobby: Got ya?

E:  [Grimaces, and then hops in the car.]

Bobby: [Drives back into the brush, goes to the edge of the hill, and sees Nicola struggling but gaining.] Just a few more metres, and I can pull you up.

Nicola: Okay?

[Bobby helps Nicola up the last of the marshy hill, and then leads her to the road. Nicola notices blood on her hand, and rubs at it.]

Bobby: Hey great news! I flagged a friend who can get us a lift to the station! He says we can shower at his pa's place as well - ain't that great?

Nicola: [Half listening.] Yeah? Say, you aren't bleeding are you? 

Bobby: [Looks at himself, and checks himself.] Oh yeah; damn, my hand scar must have broken loose! I'll have to get it bandaged.

Nicola: Oh?

Bobby: Come on! There's the car!

Nicola: [Looks ahead, sees the car, and gets stunned that a person with a car so impressive would drive them anywhere.] Must be some friend?

Bobby: The best! Come on!

[They jog across, and hop in the car.]

Bobby: Here we are! All ready to go!

E:  [Grimaces, and then adjusts his rear-view mirror to take a glance at Nicola for a second. He shakes his head, and smiles. He then puts the mirror back into place, turns the car, and heads off to his father's house.]

Nicola: [Wipes the rest of the blood off on her skirt. and looks to Bobby.] How did you cut your hand? [She stares at his hands.]

Bobby: [Turns his palms upwards.] This? Oh, just some accident...

Nicola: [Frowns, and then slowly a thought dawns on her. She gasps.] You? you weren't?.

Bobby: [Looks to her with a frown.] What?

Nicola: You were? It was you?  You're him! [Gets excited a little.] You were the one at the meeting! You're the real one!

Bobby: [Shakes his head, and laughs.]

Nicola: [Bursts.] You're E!

E:  [Gets a hit from the exclamation.]

Bobby: [Drops his smile.]

Nicola: I knew you weren't that other fellow! You're the one who hit your hand!

Bobby: [Gets uncomfortable.] I think you should stop talking now?

Nicola: The nurse wrapped you?

Bobby: [Shakes his head.] I don't know what you're talking about...

Nicola: It was printed in the paper! 

E:  [Narrows his eyes, and grits his teeth.]

Nicola: Everyone at the meeting was so touched about what you did?

Bobby: [Puts his dirty fingers on her mouth.] This ain't the time to talk?

E:  I think it's the perfect time!

Bobby: [Looks to E, swallows, and takes away his fingers.]

E:  [Scowls.] I've never met E's twin before;

Nicola: [Looks to E in the drivers seat, and pales under her mud mask.] Oh?


[E stops in his father's driveway, and places a hand on his gun.]

E:  You two want to come in, and wash?

Bobby: I'm surprised you still want to be so cordial!

E:  [Smiles.] Of course, we're still pals! There are just a few surprises? a few? [Looks to Nicola.]

Bobby: [Glances at her.] Say, what are you doing so far from Cole anyhow? 

Nicola: [Looks to E.]

Bobby: [Looks to E, and frowns.] Oh, so there is truth is papers after all?

E:  [Grits his teeth.] If you just told me that you were signing up as me, I wouldn't have bothered! I thought it was all lies. I thought I was never at no meeting!

Bobby: [Grits his teeth.] Oh, I understand? [Whispers.] But E, taking someone's kid is ?

E:  I know! [Lowers his voice.] Believe me, I know... [He sighs.] Let's get inside, get everyone cleaned up - maybe we can sort this out now that there's a half-opened box.

Bobby: [Nods, and gets out.]

E:  [To Nicola.] Are you coming in easy? Or will you try to run again?

Nicola: I'm coming in...

E:  I got a loaded gun if you change your mind.

Nicola: [Frowns.] I need to get clean too? [She hops out after Bobby.]

E:  [Nods, and gets out.] Pa shouldn't be home? [He moves to the door, gets a key off the pot plant on the window, and opens the door.] Dad? [He walks inside - the other two follow.] Pa? [E closes the door behind the other two, and locks it.] Great, all empty... [He shrugs.] Take your shoes off! [Bobby and Nicola take their shoes off.] Well, shower is this way? [E shows Bobby and Nicola the way to the bathroom.] Towels are inside the cupboard? [He knocks a hand against a cupboard door.] I'll get you some of my old clothes - they should be locked up safe...

Bobby: [Puts his bag down.] What about her?

E:  [Looks to Nicola as she picks out a towel from the cupboard.] I'm sure I can find something for her too?

Bobby: [To Nicola.] You wanna shower first? 

Nicola: Okay? [She goes inside the bathroom with a towel in her hands.]

E:  [Runs into his room. He takes out a dress folded at the bottom of his wardrobe, and then he takes out a few other women's undergarments from a drawer. E takes them to the bathroom, and puts them on the rack inside.]

Bobby: [Watches E come out.] Why'd you have those? For a sometime girlfriend?

E:  [Shakes his head.] For memories - they were ma's.

Bobby: Oh; awful new looking for memories?

E:  I brought them on her birthday - I don't know why, they looked nice? [Smiles sadly.] A little too nice, some would say... [E has a memory, and almost hears the yelling he had received from both parents on that sour day.]

Bobby: Oh?

E:  [Grits his teeth, and frowns.] I need a hot drink!

Bobby: So do I - hot coca would be good!

E:  [Smiles, and goes to the kitchen.] I was thinking more alcohol based!

Bobby: [Follows interested.]

E:  [Looks to Bobby when pouring a stiff drink.] So,why were you doing that? Impersonating me?

Bobby: [Takes a flask of scotch.] They called, you weren't there - I thought it'd be fun?

E:  [Fills a flask of his own.] Fun? Did you have fun?

Bobby: For a second?

E:  [Skulls the scotch.] Did you kiss a girl? A young one?

Bobby: [Grimaces.]  I hugged her.

E:  [Frowns, and gulps another shot.]

Bobby: I didn't want to keep quiet? but I thought?

E:  [Pours himself another shot.] I'd be mad? [He skulls his third shot.]

Bobby: [Grimaces.]

E:  [Puts the flask down.] You're hell as well right I'm mad! I've had that public protection group following me like dogs tails! 

Bobby: [Looks at his flask.] I know...

E:  My career has been shot down the drain!

Bobby: I? [Looks to E.]

E:  Well, at least you got work as me? [Gulps down another shot.]

Bobby: Is that why you took her? Cause everything was falling apart?

E:  [Frowns, and shrugs.] No? [Rolls his eyes.] I don't know? I wanted answers, I wanted lots of things? [He smiles.] It was easy - she was there, I was there? [Thinks as he pours himself another shot.] It was like an omen. [Bangs the bottle of scotch on the bench.] If she had stayed in bed, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere - but she was feeding the damned cat! [E brushes his chin, and then takes another gulp.] Boy! That feels good!

Bobby: It's like robbery.

E:  [Rolls his eyes.] Well no one has come looking for her... [He smiles.] It must have thrown them off my case, me being in concert at the same time?

Bobby: No doubt? [He takes a gulp of his drink.] Well that's enough for me - better cap the bottle, and save the rest for your pa.

E:  [Takes one more shot, and nods.] Too right?  [Puts the bottle away.]

Bobby: Got any food?

E:  [Snatches a loaf of brown bread.]

Bobby: What the hell is that?

E:  It's called brown seed...

Bobby: Is that supposed to be bread?

E:  It's bread, seed, and fruit - all brown?

Bobby: Ugh! Is there anything else?

E:  [Laughs, and checks the cupboard.] There's a pickled jar of onions...

Bobby: [Fakes a gag.]

E:  [Checks the fridge.] There's some bacon, and eggs?

Bobby: Finally! Something that sounds like food! Make a plate!

E:  [Smiles.]  What makes you think I can cook? You're the household chef back at the mansion!

Bobby: I'm dirty!

E:  Well, then we'll have to wait until you're clean...

Bobby: I can't wait that long!

E:  [Smiles.] Then try an onion.

Bobby: [Grimaces.] No? [He goes to the cupboard, and finds some sugar cubes. He picks the jar up, opens it, and pop a few in his mouth.] Mmmm? this will keep me alive for a while? [Puts a few more in, and then closes the cupboard.]

E:  [Laughs.]


[Nicola hops out of the shower, and walks around. She finds E and Bobby talking in the kitchen.] 

Nicola: I'm done - but I don't know what to do about my clothes?

E:  We'll burn them!

Nicola: [Drops her smile.]

E:  [Looks to her.] No point in keeping them - they're dirty. 

Bobby: [Leaves.] I'm having a shower - then
 we can feast!

E:  [To Nicola.] You know how to cook?

Nicola: A little?

E:  [Drop your rags in a corner, and help with the cooking then.]

Nicola: [Nods.] Okay? [She drops the clothes, walks to the kitchen, and places the skillet on the stove.]

E:  [Brings out a lighter, and lights the gas.] There, that's one thing I can do right?

Nicola: [Pours some oil in the pan.] What am I going to cook?

E:  Sardines, and mustard?

Nicola: [Frowns.] What?

E:  [Laughs, and takes out the bacon and eggs.] Just these?

Nicola: [Takes the items, and begins to cook.] Scrambled, or fried?

E:  How about both?

Nicola: You must be hungry...

E:  We're all hungry. 

Nicola: [Nods.] True? [Breaks the eggs, and watches them cook.] It's not really hard - you could do it?

E:  [Shakes his head.] I'd rather watch you.

Nicola: [Smiles, and then goes on to start cooking.]

Bobby: [Smells the food from the shower, and immediately gets out, dresses, and practically runs to the kitchen like a dog runs to its food bowl.] I'm here!

E:  [Smiles.] You're still wet!

Bobby: I'm hungry!

E:  [Points to a plate.] Food is there?

Bobby: [Picks up an egg, and bites it.]

E:  [Shakes his head, and gets him a plate.] Please, remember how to eat? 

Bobby: [Grunts, places a heap of food onto the plate, and then takes a fork from E's hand. He moves to sit at the kitchen table.] Mmmm! Food never tasted soo good!

E:  [Laughs.]

Nicola: [Puts a plate of buttered brown seed bread on the table, and sits down to eat it.]

Bobby: Ewww? you're eating that?

Nicola: [Nods.] Yes, why?

Bobby: [Clears his throat.] It looks like?

E:  Bobby, she has every right to eat what she feels comfortable with...

Bobby: Okay. [To Nicola.] Sorry...

E:  [E puts a plate of pancakes in front of him all covered in sugar, lemon, and butter.]

Bobby: You hoarder!

E:  You chose the eggs! There was only enough mixture to make one serve!

Bobby: [Looks at his plate of eggs, and bacon.] Oh well, I'll have pancakes when I get into town. [Looks to Nicola.] Hope you're not in a hurry to get back home - I'm ravished!

E:  [Looses his smile, and looks to Nicola.]

Nicola: [Glances at E, shivers, then eats her bread.]

E:  Here - have some of this honey, it'll warm you up... [Puts half a pancake on her plate.]

Nicola: [Smiles.] Thank you.

E:  [Smiles to Bobby.]

Bobby: [Stuffs his mouth with greasy bacon.]


[After breakfast they head into E's room. E seats Nicola on the bed, after Bobby makes claim of the room's only chair.]

Bobby: Ha! Beat everyone to it!

E:  So? The bed ain't so bad? [Sits down next to Nicola.] You know being in here, being with a few pals, kind of reminds me of childhood days - almost makes me feel like a teenager again. 

Bobby: [Scoffs.]

Nicola: [Glances at E as he leans towards her, then she frowns].

E:  [Kisses her, and pushes her back on the bed.]

Bobby: [Frowns.] Uh?

E:  [Glances at Bobby with hate.] You got a problem with it?

Bobby: [Shrugs.] It's just snuggling? [He shrugs.] Hell, I snuggled with my cousins?

E:  [Rolls his eyes, and then kisses Nicola again.]

Bobby: [Shrugs.] Maybe I was joking? But it's cool? If I were your wife however, I'd hit you with a rolling pin.

E:  [Chuckles, and lets Nicola back up.] It's not the time for it? [Licks his lips, wipes them, and glances at Bobby.] 

Bobby: Don't let me stop you - pretend I'm not here.

E:  I'm just not in the right frame of mind. [Squeezes Nicola's shoulder.]

Nicola: Ow? ow! [She shudders.] Careful?

E:  What?

Nicola: I might have a bruise there...

E:  Might? [Thinks, and remembers that he had belted her.] Oh, okay. [Takes his hand away.] So we're just three pals, hanging as pals.

Bobby: [Relaxes.]

E:  I should be mad, at both of you. [Looks at Bobby.] You for ruining my life, and my career? and you... [Points to Nicola.] for not trusting me. [E frowns, and then turns back to Bobby.] I should be furious at you Bobby - but I think maybe if they like you so much, you can earn me a few dollars. [Takes out an envelope with all of his hard earned money in it, [some of which he has already pocketed.]] Like you did on the road...

Bobby: [Gapes.] That ain't road money - that's my money!

E:  [Smiles.] You used my name didn't you?

Bobby: Yeah, but I worked.

E:  [Frowns.] With my name...

Bobby: Yeah, but it was me!

E:  Fine, take the damn thing... [Throws the envelope up, takes out his gun, and shoots it while its up in the air.]

[The money packet lands on the floor with holes through it.]

Bobby: My money!

E:  Bankers will think it's unauthentic or stolen now... 

Bobby: [Opens the packet, and groans as he sees torn money.] Ohhhh?

E:  [Smiles, and then looks to Nicola.] I should put holes through you as well?

Nicola: [Gasps as he point the gun at her.]

E:  [Stares at her, and pulls back the lever on the gun.]

Nicola: [Panics, and gets up.]

E:  [Shoots at her.]

Nicola: [Hits the floor, and covers her ears.]

E:  [Stands up, and walks over to the wall where there's a few bullet holes.  He pokes at one, and then walks over to Nicola.] You should have just stayed put - I'm never that serious about shooting until things move. [He helps her up.]

Nicola: [Brushes tears away.]

E:  [Looks at her.] You're fine - no injury. 

Nicola: [Looks at herself.]

E:  See?

Nicola: [Swallows.]

E:  [Smiles.] Just fine... [Spins his gun inside of his hand.] I'm a good shot - don't you think?

Bobby: Doesn't make it right for you to shoot things like that!

E:  [Shrugs.] Want to go to a bank? See if one will accept that money? 

Bobby: [Tucks the envelope into his jacket.] Don't worry about it.

E:  Still want me to take you to the train station?

Bobby: You've done enough favours - I might just walk.

E:  [Opens the bedroom door, and points the gun at him.] Better run, or I just might kill ya...

Bobby: What?

E:  Bobby, you've ruined me? [Cocks the gun.] Maybe for the last time?

Bobby: [Dashes out of the room, then grabs his bag, and dashes out of the house.]

E:  [Smiles, then puts his gun away.] Now things feel better. [Looks to Nicola.] That's the funny thing about being a star - people forget who you are? forget you might have fought in the army... [Smiles.]

Nicola: [Wipes tears from her eyes.]

E:  Come on, let's go watch TV. 


[Bobby runs all the way to E's house. He burst through the front door with what feels to be a broken lung, scrambles upstairs, and pounds on the bedroom door. He then remembers about the handle, and opens it.]

Evelyn: [Hits him with a chair, and Bobby falls to the side of the room.]

Bobby: You're crazy!

Evelyn: Bobby! [Drops the chair.]

Bobby: E's crazy! I'm not turning back here again!

Evelyn: So why are you here?

Bobby: Where's that money I gave you?

Evelyn: Hidden under the mattress?. [She pulls it out.]

Bobby: [Snatches the envelope, and throws his mightily decreased share on the floor.] You blame him for that!

Evelyn: What are you talking about? 

Bobby: [Goes to E's cupboard, takes out the old costumes, and packs them into a pillow case. He finds a shoe of Evelyn's while hunting around a shelf, and throws it out - it rolls under the bed.] He tried to shoot me! I'm never coming back here!

Evelyn: [Ignores the shoe, and smiles.] So you came back for me?

Bobby: If there's any truth in that baby being mine, you tell me right now!

Evelyn: Yes I? [Thinks, and the stars fade from her eyes.] Actually? [Frowns.] No?

Bobby: [Looks at her.] No? [He shrugs.] Fine then - my gain, your loss... [Bobby packs a heap of jewellery.] 

Evelyn: Why are you packing his things?

Bobby: He made my money worthless - I need to make up for it...

Evelyn: But those are his rings - they're expensive!

Bobby: Buy him new ones if you ever paste that cash together...

Evelyn: Why should I let you walk out with all of his things? Why shouldn't I scream for the others to come up here?

Bobby: Cause I'll tell them what he has kidnapped, and then it'll mean prison. Prison Evelyn.

Evelyn: [Frowns.]

Bobby: Yeah, and just a hint of advice - when you find a good man, leave him.

Evelyn: Bobby? I can't? It's not so simple? If only you were?

Bobby: [Smiles.] I know, I ain't your type. At least not without the costume, the make-up, and the fortune. [He goes to the bathroom, and takes pills from the medicine cabinet.] I wouldn't marry you anyway, not unless that little red head were mine... But it ain't, so? [Comes out.] Lucky for me.

Evelyn: [Wants to cry.] But I love you Bobby! I can't stand it!

Bobby: [Smiles, and kisses her once.] Something like me ain't the loving type. 

Evelyn: Please! You can work it out! You can stay till I get the divorce papers, and?

Bobby: No sweetheart. No? [He looks at her.] I'll be dead if I stay. I've gotta leave. So unless you're prepared to run now - it ain't going to be us. Ever.

Evelyn: [Cries.] I can't just leave!

Bobby: Don't cry - we would never have worked for very long anyway. You don't love me? [He drags in a breath.] You just love to make me think loving you would be the greatest love. Maybe you're right - maybe not; either way? [He shrugs, and turns.]

Evelyn: Bobby!

Bobby: See ya? [Ge runs out.]

Evelyn: [Runs after him.] Bobby! Bobby!


[Entourage members gather into the foyer, and sees Evelyn crying by the front door.]

Sandy: Anything the matter?

Evelyn: [Wipes her eyes.] No, it's just? [She runs upstairs, and slams the door closed.]

Casey: What's up with this dame?

Sandy: [Mutters.] Just go and watch TV.


[Bobby runs into the brush, and heads towards the train station again - but stops a little way across, and collapses on a bed of leaf litter wheezing, sweating, and groaning.]

Bobby: [Hugs his booty as he gasps, and rasps, his breaths along. He smiles while he waits for his body to relax before he continues on.]


[E looks at his watch, and wakes Nicola who has fallen asleep next to him.]

E:  Time to get back home.

Nicola: [Rubs
 her eyes.] Oh?

E:  Come on.

[E gets her up, and leads her out to the car. E drives home slowly. Nicola watches the road as the car glides along the street. E concentrates on the road all the way home.] 


[When home, he parks in the garage. He inspects for any sign that he has been seed, and when he realises that it is clear, he then jogs Nicola round the back to enter into the kitchen without being seen. There's no-one around. E leads her upstairs, and into the bedroom. E leads Nicola to a chair.]

E:  You sit there, and don't make me want to go tie you up to keep you still.

Nicola: [Nods.]

[E goes out, locks the bedroom door, then flies down the stairs, and finds Evelyn in the entertainment room. Evelyn is having the time of her life being the centre of attention in the midst of the entourage members. E glances on as she flirts, and gets praises poured over Eve.]

E:  Nice scene?

Evelyn: [Looks over, and looses her smile.] E?

Sandy: Hey? What happened up there? Almost overdose on sleeping pills?

E:  As a matter of fact, I was just in need of some sleep.

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] Look E! She can talk!

Casey: [Dangles keys in front of Eve.]

Eve:  Ga! Goo! Goo!

[The entourage group laughs.]

E:  [Raises an eyebrow, and then walks away.]

Evelyn: Do it again!

Casey: [Dangles keys.]

Eve:  Ga-ga-ga!

[Entourage group laughs.]

E:  [Shudders, and goes to the kitchen to make a sandwich.]


[Evelyn retires later that night, and goes up to the bedroom. When she finds the door locked, she puts her sleeping Eve on the carpet, and goes to the rail.]

Evelyn: E! [She looks down the staircase, and then walks down. She scopes out the kitchen, finds the back door open, and walks outside. She finds E standing all alone on the lawn, kicking some loose grass.] E! I want to go to bed!

E:  [Glances her way, then shrugs, and keeps kicking the dirt.]

Evelyn: [Walks up to him.] Give me the keys - I want to go to bed...

E:  Where's your copy?

Evelyn: I left them in the room? [A thought dawns on her.] You found her again didn't you?

E:  I might have?

Evelyn: Well, give me the keys anyway - I'm tired!

E:  I think we're all tired... [He sighs, as he stubs some more grass with the toe of his shoe.]

Evelyn: What's wrong with you? 

E:  I don't know? [He walks away.]

Evelyn: Well don't walk away! Give me the keys!

E:  [Walks to the front of the house.]

Evelyn: E! Why are you being like this? I left Eve on the carpet for heavens sake! Now, give me the keys!

E:  [Stops in the front yard, and begins to toe the grass again.]

Evelyn: Stop ignoring me!

E:  [E eyes her.]

Evelyn: [She stares back.]

E:  You only come to me when you want something, don't you?

Evelyn: What?

E:  [E shakes his head, and takes out his keys to give them back. He almost gives them to her when he remembers Nicola.] Actually, I'd better come with you...

Evelyn: [She shrugs.] Fine? [She goes back to the house, and turns at the door knob. However then she looks behind her shoulder, and finds out that E hasn't moved a foot.] Come on!

E:  [Gets annoyed.] All right! [Goes in after her.]

Sandy: [Catches the two coming inside.] Hey, you pair should have been escorted outside...

Evelyn: We were just wanting a moment alone. [Winks.]

Sandy: Still, those are the rules. [Things, and smiles.] But I guess there are times when you can slide them? [Winks back.]

Evelyn: I understand. [Winks.]

Sandy: Good. [Double winks.]

E:  [Gets annoyed.] Are we going to bed or what Evelyn? [He storms upstairs.]

Evelyn: Of course!

Sandy: [Snorts out a chuckle.] Bed?

Evelyn: [Looks to him.]

Sandy: [Winks.]

Evelyn: [Smiles, and goes upstairs. She instantly gets hot when she realises that E hasn't even bothered to pick up Eve. Evelyn picks her up, and goes inside.] 

E:  [E is leaning against the wall, ready to close the door behind her. As soon as Evelyn walks inside, he slams the door closed.]

Evelyn: [Jumps.] E! I could have dropped Eve!

E:  That would be a shame? [Locks the door.]

Evelyn: [Puts Eve down inside of her crib.] Poor thing is all tuckered out with talking all day... [She gives Eve a kiss.]

E:  [Raises his brows, and then looks to Nicola who is sitting quietly.] Not tired yet?
 
Nicola: [Shakes her head.]

E:  [Smiles, and goes to the bathroom to concoct a potion with his medicines.]

Evelyn: [Rolls her eyes to Nicola.] So? have a nice adventure?

Nicola: It was a wasted effort.

Evelyn: [Snorts.] So are most things?

E:  [Comes out of the bathroom, and places a cup into Nicola's hands.] Here we go?

Nicola: What is it?

E:  Just a little pill?

Nicola: It's awfully smoky looking for just one pill?

E:  [Snaps.] Just shut up, and drink it huh?

Evelyn: E! Your language?

E:  [Turns to face Evelyn.] Sorry Evelyn! [He turns back to Nicola, and sees her drinking the cup.]

Nicola: [Finishes, and then gives the cup back to E.] There, happy?

E:  Delighted. [E takes the cup, and puts it on the dresser. He then puts the keys on the dresser, and finally hops into bed.]

Evelyn: [Turns out the lights, and hops into bed.]

E:  [Gazes steadily at Nicola.]

Nicola: [Gazes steadily back, until she feels a kick under her skin. She starts to get freaked - stands up, and is knocked to the floor with a bout of severe nausea.] [Groans.]

Evelyn: [Whispers.] What did she drink E?

E:  [Smiles.] Just a sleeping pill - now get some sleep. She'll be out in a few minutes. [Kisses her on the brow.]

Evelyn: [Frowns, turns around, and goes to sleep.]


[In the morning Evelyn gets up, takes the keys to unlock the door, tosses the keys back on the top of the platform desk, and then goes down to have something to eat.] 

[E wakes up, and finds Evelyn gone. He smiles, and goes to the bathroom to do a few morning things. After freshening up, and dressing, he mixes up a new concoction of mixed drugs. He then stirs it in a cup as he goes to take a look at Nicola who is on the floor.]

E:  [Nudges her with his foot.] Hey?

Nicola: [Fails to move.]

E:  [Nudges again.] Hey... Hey...

Nicola: [Groans slightly.]

E:  [Nudges again.] Hey, wake up.

Nicola: [Frowns, and wakes up with a headache. She slowly picks herself up off the floor.] 

E:  [Crouches over her.] Hey...

Nicola: Hi? [Smiles a little, and sits up.]

E:  Got a new drink for you? [Hands her a cup.]

Nicola: No? I? [She sighs, then takes the cup, and gives it a taste. She almost spits it out right away.] It's liquor?

E:  Cough syrup.

Nicola: [Puts down the cup.] What for?

E:  [Shrugs.] You feel like your throat's all off don't you?

Nicola: I feel like my whole body is off... [Puts a hand on her head.]

E:  [Laughs, picks up the cup, and drinks a little.] Here? one sips worth?

Nicola: [Sighs, takes the cup, and downs the liquid.] Happy?

E:  [Smiles, takes the empty cup, and pushes it under the bed.] You're just a bundle of sins aren't you?

Nicola: [Looks to him.] What?

E:  [Smiles, leans in, and kisses her. E gets a little heavy for such an early hour -  but when he hears Eve gurgle as she wakes up, he gets a hit of guilt. E stops, and grits his teeth.] Yeah, it just ain't right - us... [He stares at Nicola coldly.] A man can't hold two things dear... 

Nicola: [Frowns.]

E:  [Whispers.] I can't go on like this - it's not fair? [He stares at her straight on, until their lips are barely a breath apart.] It's not right - us? here? [He shakes his head, and wipes his mouth.] No?

Nicola: [Sighs in relief.] So I'm going home?

E:  [Looks into her eyes, dead serious.] That's right? [Takes out a satin scarf from his pocket, slides his hands slowly up to her shoulders, and slides them to the back of her neck where he tightens the cloth in his hands.] Where you should have always been?

Nicola: When are we leaving? Now?

E:  [E puts the scarf around her throat, and then tightens it with a rope and twist.] That's right...

Nicola: [Gets a change in expression, and fingers his hands as they tighten the material around her neck. She finds it impossible to get his hands loose, so she tries his arms, and then tries pushing away his body. She then panics as her breath starts to run out, and so she desperately feels the floor for an object. She finds the cup and hits him on the side of the face. Her other hand finds a shoe under the bed on the other side of her, and she slams the heel in the side of his head.]

E:  [Grunts, and then lets go of the scarf when she starts hitting him with the heel of the shoe.] Hey there! [The shoe flies at his face, and hits him in the eye.] 

Nicola: [Gasps, and gets up. She goes and picks up a perfume bottle off the table, and sprays it at E. When she realises the pump is weak, she throws it at him for fuller effect.]

E:  Hey! [Bends over to pick up the unbroken bottle.]

 Nicola: [Picks up a vase, and throws it at him].

E:  [Gets hit on the head, and grunts again.] That's it?

Nicola: [Panics, opens the door, and runs out.]

E:  [Puts the perfume bottle on the table, and runs after her.] 

[E catches her wrist, and pulls her back just as she's about to start down the stairs.]

Nicola: Get away from me! [She tugs to get her hand back.] 

E:  [Tries to get a firmer grip on her.]

Nicola: Let go! [She hits his face.] 

E:  [E lets go.]

Nicola: [Nicola trips backwards, then falls off the top stair, and tumbles down the rest, to fall at the bottom injured - dead.]

Evelyn: [Comes from the kitchen after having had something to eat, and blinks at Nicola. She immediately gets frightened, and becomes scared to view her - but she is unable to turn away.]

E:  [Stumbles back to the bedroom door close to tears, and wheezing heavily. He then faints outside of it, and lands on the flooring with a thunk.]

Entourage Members [Runs into the foyer, and finds Evelyn blankly staring at Nicola's body. They race over to inspect.]

Sandy: Hey? [Puts a finger on Nicola's throat.] This girl is dead! [Looks to Evelyn, and
 scowls.]

Evelyn: [Turns pale.] What are you looking at me for? It wasn't me!

Entourage01 Hey, she's that girl who claimed that E had ? [Stands up with a red face.] What is the meaning of this?

Evelyn: [Shrugs.] I don't know...

Entourage02 You keeping a victim up there?!

Evelyn: I ? 

Entourage03 Who else you got up there? [Runs upstairs.]

Sandy: [Looks to Evelyn.] Why?

Evelyn: [Gets angry.] I didn't do anything!

Entourage03 [Crouches in front of E, and shakes him.] Hey, you awake? [E smells his hands, they had rubbed the scent of perfume off E's body, the same perfume Evelyn wears.] 

E:  [Jumps.] Evelyn? Don't... [He faints, and is out cold.]

Entourage03 [Inspects some bruising, and a few cuts on E's face.] Seems she whacked her husband too! 

Entourage02 I told you something was going on - ever since that Bobby guy vanished she's been going crazy!

Evelyn: I didn't do anything!

Sandy: [Sniffs her, and then sniffs Nicola's hands.] Seems you are both wearing the same perfume - or some of it wore off!

Evelyn: No? no?

Casey: I'll go and ring headquarters.

Sandy: [Takes out a gun.] You'd better have a seat.


      [E wakes up and finds yellow tape around him. He frowns. He hears a few detectives downstairs, and looks over the rail just in time to catch sight of them before they walk out the front door. E looks around, then he looks at the covered body at the bottom of the stairs. He realises who it is, and why the covering is on it, and then goes to the bathroom, and throws up.]

E:  [E gasps over the rim of the toilet, and then wearily ambles to the sink in order to drink some mouth wash. He spits it out, and looks at the sink feeling fevered. He wipes a hand over his moist brow, and then realises that he could be inspected in having had played a part in the whole abduction, and murder.] I've got to get out of here! [E goes to his closet, and grabs his military jacket from inside.] I've got to leave! [E grabs a few other things - then he scans his desk, and finds the set of house keys are gone.] They've taken them! [E gasps, and runs a trembling hand over his face.] I've got to go! [E runs to the entrance door, ducks under the yellow tape, and then sneaks out the kitchen door. He then sprints around the back, jumps a fence, and sneaks away without anyone noticing.]


      [Later that night Bobby performs on stage as E in a local club. He is so impressive reporters are convinced he is the real one, and that the other who had performed earlier that year at the same venue, was an impersonator filling in as role of E. 

After the concert ends, Bobby gets pulled aside by a couple of detectives who inform him that his house was disrupted by Evelyn's craziness. Bobby frowns, and then gets told to wait while his child is quickly transported to him. 

Bobby sings ovation, and then gets handed Eve when in the dressing room. Bobby holds Eve - she quietens down from crying right away. Bobby can't even report that he isn't E, cause that would make him a fraud.]

Bobby: [Gulps as he hears what has happened to Nicola, and then cringes as he hears the suspicion that there was an E impersonator in house while he was out preparing for show.] Oh?

Detective  [Hands Bobby E's house keys.] We had to use these to search the whole premises, you understand?

Bobby: [Takes the keys.] Oh, right?

Detective  We almost collapsed when we saw the other you gone -  but then we found you, and things began to become clear. The Club Manager has already testified that there was no way you were at the house, since you've been performing steadily since eleven pm yesterday, and haven't left the club since.

Bobby: [Nods.]

Detective  I understand about the need to place a fill in... [He suddenly turns into a more serious person.] However there's still the case of?

Bobby: [Goes into a daze as he listens as E. The detective's words come through his ears in a murmur, as the world around him fades.]


      [E gets himself on a train, and rides out of town. He holds his mediocre belongings on his lap, as he stares out the window dismally.]

[A boy gets curious about him, and approaches him.]

Henry: Hi.

E:  [Looks at him.]

Henry: You've been a soldier?

E:  [Nods.] Yes?

Henry: I can't wait to grow up - then I can be a soldier too. [Takes out a pen, and paper.] Can you give me a signature?

E:  [Blinks.] Ah, sure? [E moves to sign his name - but pauses. After a moment he signs the first name that pops into his head, which is Bobby's.]

Henry: Wow! A real soldier's signature! [Looks at E.]

Henry's Mother Henry! Come back here now! Let that brave man alone.

Henry: [Whines.] Okay? [Smiles, and then leaves.]

E:  [Looks out the window, and blinks back tears.] 

[The train rides into a fog, and E's face disappears behind a fogged up window.]


      [Credits Roll as a song plays.]
[Train rolling?  get you round, up and down, left around, and here we go? Train rolling? get your round, up and down, left and around, here we go? Keep on rolling, to find your way round to and fro? All right - lets go! [Instrumental debut].]