Asha's Depression

Asha's Depression
Copyright all rights reserved to Monica Pereira 2013
Smashwords Edition

Asha felt low as she grew up with foster parents; she didn't feel as though she were normal, and as a result she didn't fit in.  She had hair too dark, eyes too green, and she had too many freckles -  this made her poor and ugly, and that is what she was.  She had no real parents, she was not liked, she was teased by bullies who saw her as a quirk, and she was hated by her foster parents who only used her for income; Asha hated the world for having her brought up in such a family as foster care.

“I don't want to live;”  muttered Asha one afternoon as she took medicine from the cabinet and began to swallow all she could.

She was caught by foster parent Roger, and he hit Asha hard in the face as soon as he saw her try to gulp down a handful of pills.

“We had to pay for those you know!”  he gasped raged.

Asha felt the pills dribble through her sore teeth and she spat them onto the floor as she hung her head as her brain whirled.  

“How dare you attempt such a thing!”  added Roger before he took Asha's arm and threw her into her room.

Asha felt her mind blur and she sat down on her single bed softly before 'wham!' another hit in the face made stars dance.  Asha fell into a day-dream where she floated on a bed of stars, and when she woke it was with a bruise on her cheek.

“My face is sore;”  told Asha as she rubbed her sore cheek.  “I hate Roger!”  she added before she picked up the phone.  

Asha called the cops and told them she had been fiercely hit by Roger.  The cops visited the home, however when Roger explained he had caught Asha trying to swallow too many sleeping pills they left the house and Asha still inside.  As soon as the cops had left Roger visited Asha's bedroom, there he tore the phone out from the wall-socket and left Asha alone.


Asha walked on her depression as she thought how she didn't want to live in the place where she currently lived.  She wanted to be away from the depression of foster care, and she wanted to live alone so that she could make-believe that she had been brought up with a family and a proper upbringing.

Asha grew glum as her wish failed to come true.  She walked to school as though in a cage, and then she walked home which was another cage.  She couldn't grow happy, only depressed, as she walked in a circle of confusion and misery.  When she looked to Roger it was without a smile, and in time she grew inky eyes which was noticed by her foster mother Sue.


“What's the matter with her?”  asked Sue to Roger after Asha had walked inside of the home with dragged feet.

“I don't know;”  told Roger as he rolled his eyes.  “She tried to take too many pills, maybe she's depressed;”  he added.

“Well buy her something, cheer her up!”  coaxed Sue to Roger as she began to grow worried.  “Take her to the fair, or for a meal;”  she said.

Roger shrugged and then he rolled his eyes again.

“I have a murmur in my chest;”  he outlined.  “I need to rest when I get home, not take people out;”  he muttered.

“Well order her a pizza;”  told Sue as she continued to glare at Roger who was very reluctant.

“Pizza costs more then charcoal chicken;”  told Roger before he took out his keys.  “I'll take her out for a burger;” he declared.

“Good then!”  gasped Sue before she smiled.

Roger stood and walked to Asha's room, there he knocked and said hello; Asha turned her head and glared at Roger as though he were an outsider, and he almost threw an unhappy face.

“Put on a jacket we're going to pick up take away;”  he muttered as though she were a servant to command.

“I don't feel like it;”  told Asha as she began to feel depressed.  

“Come on, good food wasted if you don't come;”  invited Roger with some enthuse.

Asha sighed; she wasn't sure why Roger wanted to buy takeaway but she finally decided to just go with him.  Asha put on a jacket and followed Roger out of the house and into a car.  In the car Roger turned on music and drove, and he did not speak to her not even to ask what she wanted to eat.


Roger drove for five minutes and then purchased a burger meal at the drive-through burger store.  He then parked in a shadowy lane and began to eat the meal.  Asha looked at Roger and felt her gut quiver.

“What did you buy for me?”  she asked.

“Sue just thought you needed to go for a drive;”  told Roger before he bit into the burger.  “Good to get out of the house;”  he added as he continued to eat.

Asha glared at Roger and narrowed her eyes; she then crossed her arms and sulked. Roger noticed and placed some chips on a napkin before he passed the chips to Asha.  Asha took the novelty and began to nibble as Roger ate the better portion of the meal with ease.


Back at home Asha stormed to her room and closed the door as Roger returned to the lounge.

“She doesn't seem to be any better;”  told Sue as she looked to Roger.

“She had more energy in her walk;”  told Roger before he smiled.  

“I guess;”  muttered Sue as she blinked.  “Maybe she's just going through a phase where she hates everyone;”  she added.

“Maybe;”  told Roger as he leaned back in the chair.  “Don't ask me to take her out again, I really would prefer to just sit at home;”  he then added.


Asha walked through life as though it were a mistake.  She woke up with misery on her mind and it hung on her rack as she walked through her day.  Sometimes she cried, other times she just fell numb; she didn't like the world and it hated her.


Sue looked at Asha as she walked into the house after school, she then blinked her eyes to Roger who had calmly watched television until that moment.  Roger looked to Sue and he felt his nerves tighten -  Sue wanted him to take Asha out again, and he didn't want to.

“I don't want to go;  told Roger as he glared at Sue.

“Do something nice, take her to a park;”  enthused Sue.

“I don't want to;”  told Roger.  “My blood pressure is high;”  he added.  “My driving knee is sore;  he said.

“Please just do it once?”  told Sue as she blinked to Roger.

Roger rolled his eyes and then he stood -  he wanted to kick a table, but he picked up his keys from the table instead.  Roger walked to Asha's room and knocked -  Asha turned her head.

“What?”  she asked.

“Come for a drive;”  told Roger before he juggled his keys.  “Now;”  he said.

Asha sighed and followed Roger out of the house.  She didn't want to go for a drive with him, however she moved fast to get the five minute trek to the take-away store over and done with.  


However Roger didn't take her to the take-away store, he took her along the highway to a place that had rocky hills and open plain.  There Roger took Asha out of the car and coaxed her towards the rocky hills, there he hit her three times before he tried to choke her with his bare hands. 

Asha felt her eyes widen as her heart pulsed with red blood until her chest grew sore.  There she thought she was going to die until Roger let her neck go.

“You are not to look unhappy!”  he gasped.  “Or I'll leave you here for dead!”  he added.  “I don't want to drive you anywhere!”  he told.  “I want to relax at home!”  he added.  “You will not walk around depressed again!”  he declared.

Asha gasped as she fondled her neck -  she didn't want to say yes and she didn't want to say no; so she said nothing and she was hit in the face one more time in punishment.

“Okay!”  gasped Asha after she had felt the harsh smack.  “Okay!  I'll cheer up!”  she declared.

“Good!”  told Roger before he grabbed Asha's arm and led her back to the car.


At home Asha walked inside with a smile on her face.  Sue looked to her and grew a glimmer inside of her eyes as Asha waved and walked into her room where she dropped her smile and began to cry.  Roger shrugged to Sue who heard Asha's sobs and cringed.

“Is she okay?”  asked Sue.

“I thought she was;”  told Roger as he shrugged.  “She smiled the whole drive home;”  he added.

Sue nodded and continued to knit, however Asha's sobs grew too much and she looked to Roger who had settled his mind on a sports channel.  Roger looked to Sue and he glared.

“I can't fix the world by taking the kid for drives;”  he added.  “She must just be going through a phase;”  he said.

“I hope it is just a phase;”  told Sue.  “She sounds terrible;”  she added.  “Maybe she needs a boyfriend?”  she asked.

“I am not going to pick her up a guy to date!” gasped Roger before he smiled.  “Just leave her alone, I am sure that she will figure herself out;  he added.


However Asha didn't get any better, and often she forgot to smile when she returned home.  Sue looked to Roger repeatedly who grew tense -  he didn't want to be Asha's caddy, he wanted to just be at home!  

“Take her somewhere;”  told Sue after she had seen Asha walk home with lost on her face.

Roger knotted his jaw until his chest felt tight.  He looked at the television in a violent manner, and then he picked up his keys and told Asha to follow him.


Asha sat in the car with sobs inside of her eyes -  she felt like a crumbled paper cup and she couldn't get the depression off her mind.  Roger glared at the road as he glared at death, he then stopped at a motel and he told Asha to get inside.

Inside the motel Roger turned on the television and he watched his sports channel.  Asha glared at Roger as he laid back on the bed, and then she grew glum as she realised that Roger was going to watch sports all night.

“Can I order room service?”  she asked.

“Sure, order me a steak with fries;”  told Roger as he glared at the television.

Asha ordered two meals, and then she ate in a corner of the room as Roger gulped down his food and cheered at the television as the players scored points.  Asha thought the food was good and in time she grew bored and she fell asleep.  


When it was morning Roger woke Asha up and ordered her into the car.  He drove Asha home, and then he told her to go to school.  

Asha went to school and when she got there she fell depressed once again.

“When will these feelings leave?”  she asked.  “When will they go away?”  she said as ice cool wind crawled over her skin until she felt chilled.