The Elvis Comeback Special

Elvis waited backstage as the studio was set up with all its wires and instruments.  He felt nervous, more then nervous, he felt sick.  Elvis wanted to throw up, but for some reason he didn't want to bother taking a bathroom trek; so he stomached his nervousness and told himself to be strong.  He didn't want to go out on stage -  the clothes were wrong, the time was wrong, the day was wrong; everything was all wrong.

“This is all wrong!”  gasped Elvis before he picked up a cup and began to sip.

“What is wrong?”  asked Jacob as he walked into the room.

“Everything!”  gasped Elvis before he cleared his throat.  “What is that in your hand?” he inquired.

“Changed lyrics;”  told Jacob before he gave Elvis the notes.  “Plus an additional scene;”  he declared.

“What's the scene?”  asked Elvis as he glared at the notes.  “To be confused?”  he asked.

“You sit on a chair and women dance all over you;”  told Jacob as he grinned.

“Are they hot girls?”  asked Elvis as he lifted his brows.

“Yes they are;”  told Jacob as he glared at Elvis.

“Under-aged?”  asked Elvis as he grinned.

Jacob cleared his throat -  that kind of slack jaw retort made him want to punch a wall, however he kept his cool and locked his anger inside of his soul.

“Sure thing;”  he muttered before he turned and walked away.

“Don't go on-stage without under-aged;”  told Elvis to Jacobs back.

Jacob turned around and saw Elvis laugh.  He wanted to say something, but he told himself not to worry, there were plenty like Elvis caught back in the time of the ogre.  

“Fine;”  he dryly muttered before he left Elvis alone.

Elvis smiled and read through the lines.  He glared at the script and then he threw it away.

“If you want some new lines wait to see what I got;”  he muttered before he began to change his tone as a wardrobe assistant entered the room.

“Costume!”  she sung as she entered.

“It is tight!”  gasped Elvis as he looked at the costume.  What?  Am I Norma Jeane?” he asked.

“If you were the men would be in love;”  told the assistant before she left.

Elvis glared at the black leather suit and then he shivered as he thought of himself inside of it.

“All for the show;”  he muttered before he raised his brows and left the costume alone.

Elvis walked onto stage.  He felt off as he stood under the stage light while the crowd and fellow players chuckled.  Elvis felt ridiculous in his suit, however he wore the shame of the gross and sat on a chair.

“What do we play?”  he asked.

“Nothing as long as you are wearing that suit;”  told one of his players.

“Well too bad it's the costume;”  told Elvis before he picked up the guitar and began to pluck the strings

The crowd around smiled and clapped -  Elvis grinned.

“What are they clapping at?”  he asked.

“They like the way you pluck the strings;”  told the same player.

“Wait until I get you alone then you can see what I like to pluck!”  told Elvis before he laughed.

No one in the studio laughed and Elvis wondered why?  He ignored his worry and began to continue on with the performance.

“So what are we performing today?”  he asked.

“The best of the past;”  told the player to the right.

“The best or the worst?”  asked Elvis as he grinned.

“The best;”  told the player.

“Are you sure?  I couldn't tell the difference;”  told Elvis as he began to laugh.

Again no one laughed and Elvis told himself to be quiet, but for some reason he wanted to talk.  He was about to open his mouth when one of the players introduced the first song.  Elvis smiled and nodded.  He knew every song he had sung, he just didn't know what order he want going to play them. 

“How long is the show?”  he asked.

“One hour;”  said the player to the right.

“Okay;”  told Elvis.  “I can live through that;”  he declared.


However the song list went for over an hour and Elvis battled with himself as he was urged to sing song after song.  Elvis wanted to remind his fellow director of the fact that he was human and his voice was strong but not immortal, however he was urged by all to perform more then once every song he had ever done, and within two and a half hours he faced the biggest battle of his life.

Elvis's voice cracked at the end of the song and the crowd quietened down from their claps.  Elvis hunched over his guitar as he felt his throat; he wanted to call it quits as the players on all sides laughed as he lingered in a hunch.  Elvis laughed too -  he wanted to cry; the world was cold and mean and he was never driven so hard out of the recording studio.   

“I want to quit;”  he thought in his mind.  

However his next song was introduced and Elvis straightened himself up and told himself to just sing.  The afternoon counted on him and his voice, and so Elvis decided he would sing through his heart flutters; he would sing.

However singing was hard and hot in his black leather outfit; near the end he was just about to faint when the studio lights turned off.

“Costume change;”  told the director.

Elvis gasped and then he shivered; he wanted to look around and find an exit sign for his body and voice were beat.  

“What do you mean costume change?”  he asked as he walked around in a circle.  “The songs have been going on for over an hour;”  he muttered.

However Elvis didn't say any more then that before he was urged backstage.


Backstage Elvis glared at his costume which seemed to have appeared out of thin air.  He thought it looked like a circus boy's costume, however he put it on.  The outfit was another jacket and pants combination and Elvis wrinkled his nose as he felt how heavy it was.  

Elvis walked onto the stage.  He felt nice and fresh now that his make-up had been re-applied, however he still felt a little haggard and his voice was raw and sore, but he cleared his throat as he readied for the next battle, and soon he was coaxed into a stage of strange and wonderful beasts -  that was his way of describing the sauciest thing he had ever done for camera. 

Elvis felt foolish, however he was told to just play along and so he did.  At some stage amongst the flurry he was urged onto a chair as he was encircled by what he might have deemed to have been adult porn. 

“These are women, where are the kids?”  he asked Jacob who looked away as he continued to read a scrap of paper.  


Elvis finished his performance and then he moved backstage.  Elvis was beat.  He didn't want to go on-stage.  He was sure he couldn't do it -  he was so hot he was just about ready for a stroke.  His feet were sore, his shoes were hot, and he needed to go home; he ached to go home.

A stranger who Elvis had never seen before walked through the door.

“I have a bone to pick with you!”  the declared.

“Who me?”  asked Elvis as he puffed on his steam.

“You stole my woman for your show!”  the stranger declared.

“I stole your woman?”  asked Elvis.  “I had a show?”  he inquired.

“Sure;”  told the person who looked like a bunyip from out of town.

“Well then you dress into this and be me, this is your show;”  told Elvis before he rolled his eyes and moved to collect his belongings so he could leave.

Elvis didn't hear a protest, and he didn't care who the bunyip was -  he wanted to leave and go home, he wanted to be with his blankets and toys and never have to worry about any stupid studio performance again.  However Elvis felt faint and he moved to the toilet to relieve himself.  He tried to throw up to get the upset out of his belly, but he just ended up sunk on the floor.  Elvis cried and for the first time ever he was glad he was alone.  He didn't want to perform or sing, he just wanted the money.

“I don't want the money that bad;”  he sighed.  “But I chose my courier and it was to sing;”  he sighed as he wiped his eyes and then sat.  “I'll move later;”  he added.  “For now I am going to rest;”  he declared before he laid himself out on the toilet floor and took a nap.


The second Elvis took the stage.  He looked new and fresh and when he sang it was with zest.  The audience glared in silence as Elvis began to break out in tunes which had never been heard.  For the first time the band members could put away their guitars as Elvis began to prance around with a new set of vocal chords.  Everyone began to wonder who the person in the white suit was?  However they had no time to ask -  as soon as the lights had turned off the person raced out of the building.  Th stage was left dead, and finally the director told the cast, crew, and audience to leave.

“There is no way that was Elvis!”  gasped Jacob before he moved backstage.


Jacob opened the toilet door and found Elvis on the floor, still dressed in his last costume.  Jacob kicked Elvis in the ribs.  Elvis woke.

“What?”  he asked.

“Where you awake when you were dressed in the white suit?”  asked Jacob as he narrowed his eyes.

“I fell asleep;”  told Elvis as he blinked.  

“You what?”  gasped Jacob as he felt shock.

“I gave it away;”  told Elvis in a hoarse tone.  

“To who?”  asked Jacob as he stressed.

“I don't know, someone who said I stole their life;”  told Elvis before he laughed.  “A German;”  he added.

“Okay;”  told Jacob as he nodded.  “So someone just came in, told them they were you, and you let them be you?”  he asked.

“Yeah, but it wasn't quite like that;”  told Elvis as he began to fidget.  “They said I stole their woman;”  he muttered.

“Well that is a shame;”  told Jacob before he shook his head and left.

“Was he that bad?”  asked Elvis as he began to feel a little bit of regret over having had given his costume away.  

“He was horrible!”  gasped Jacob.  “He didn't even look like you!”  he added.  “He looked like who you once were;”  he said before he walked away.

Elvis blinked.

“Really?  I thought he looked like a loser;”  he muttered before he laughed.  “A stupid silly from Germany;”  he sung before he realised that he was probably able to go.  “Maybe I should ask the director if I should do the final scene?”   muttered Elvis as he shrugged.

“Don't worry about it just dress and go;”  told Jacob before he left the room.

Elvis shook his head as guilt filled him.  He then sighed -  he was sure it would be better if he finished the final scene.  Elvis moved to the dressing room, but he couldn't find the costume, and so he took his feet to the director.

“Dick, do you mind getting someone to hunt down the runner who stole the costume for the last scene?”  asked Elvis.

Dick glared at Elvis.

“That wasn't you?”  he asked.

“No I was in the bathroom;”  told Elvis as he glared.

“Sure that wasn't you?”  asked Dick as he edged his personality.  “It looked like you, we filmed him;”  he muttered.

“No, he was not me just someone who had found the costume while I took a leak;”  told Elvis  as he glared at Dick.

“Well we filmed that stranger for twenty to twenty-five minutes;”  told Dick as he glared at Elvis with a dark stare.  “Are you sure it wasn't a relative?”  he asked.

“Nope, never saw him before in my life;”  told Elvis as he began to grow upset.

“Are you sure?  We filmed him;”  told Dick as he narrowed his eyes.  “He was good;”  he added in a dead-weight tone.

“Well he stole my costume;”  muttered Elvis as he glared.  “He was a dead-weight, now turn the lights back on so I can do the last scene;”

“There is no costume Elvis;”  told Jacob in interruption as he began to sympathise. 

“Well you had better send someone to get it back!”  scoffed Elvis.

“Do you mean to tell me that was a total stranger who had sung the last scene?”  asked Dick. 

“Well it wasn't me;”  told Elvis as he began to grow a little bit of fume.  “I was passed out in the bathroom!”  he declared.

“You said you were there taking a leak;”  told Dick as he glared with annoy under his brow.

“Whatever I took a leak and then I passed out;”  muttered Elvis.  “Whatever I wasn't in the last scene;”  he declared.

“You weren't in the last scene?  Then that is fine;”  told Dick as he nodded.  “Thank-you for your time on everything but the last scene;”  he added.  “Thank-you;”  he declared.

“Well what about my pay?”  asked Elvis as he lingered.  “I don't want Fred or Rod or whoever to come in and take a good half when they broke in;”  he muttered.

“We don't know who that was and you can be assured that you will get your pay;”  told Dick as he glared at Elvis.  

“All of it?”  asked Elvis as he began to feel a little shy.

“All of it;”  told Dick as he glared at Elvis.  “Now go home -  everyone else has left; show is over;”  he added.  

“Okay;”  muttered Elvis before he began to step away.  

Dick looked to Jacob.

“Can you believe this?”  he asked.

“Cut five percent it will be fine;”  told Jacob  as he turned his back to Elvis.  “Now let's discuss the last scene;”  he added.

“I don't know where to put it...”  muttered Dick.  “It's too different;”  he said.  “It looked good;”  he added with a tint of harsh.  

“Looked good;”  muttered Elvis before he turned away.  “Looked good because it was not like me;”  he declared before he shook his head and moved to backstage.  “Oh well I am going home;”  he said as he grabbed his clothes and took them to the toilet for a change.


Elvis washed his face, combed his hair, and he put on his clothes.  He felt good, he felt young, he felt clean; he was ready to drive back home.

Elvis stepped out of the building and moved to his car.  It was a light blue Cadillac and it sat on the quiet street like it were the only car that had ever been made.  Elvis smiled and then he moved to the driver's side of the car.  

“Elvis!”  cried Jacob as he moved to the backstage entrance door.

“What?”  asked Elvis as he opened the car door.

“We are going to cut back five perfect of the last scene and graft you in it -  it is going to be you all the way!”  he declared before he pushed a thumbs up.

“That's great;”  told Elvis before he smiled.  “I am glad you were able to shave it, but I'd rather you would have just hacked the last scene off;”  he added.

“Not when you see how it looked!”  sung Jacob before he began to change his mind over how the last scene should be shown.  “Actually maybe five percent is too much!”  he gasped before he moved to rush back inside.

Elvis wiped his eyes as he sighed over the dashboard.  He felt mad over the fact that a stranger had been able to perform just because he had wanted to throw the whole show away.  Elvis sniffled and glared at the road -  it looked empty, and he was glad he wouldn't have to meet any traffic.  

“Well let us take this ruined show home;”  he declared before he pushed his keys into the key-hole and turned it. 

Two revs were sounded before a lock.  Elvis sighed. 

“Come on work!”  he declared before he turned the key extra hard.

Suddenly a large burst of flame lit the car with fire.  The car was engulfed within seconds, and suddenly a few people raced out of the nearby buildings to see if anyone was alive.  Elvis crawled out of the car and laid himself on the pavement as fire chewed his skin, nails, and hair.  He thought he made a sound however it came off as a choke, and soon people began to batter him with shoes, jackets, and eventually water.  

Jacob smiled as he glared at Elvis from the backstage door.  His car had been rigged, it proved the fake had been noticed, and it was him.  Jacob ran inside to tell Dick the news.  

“Dick!  Elvis's car blew up!”  told Jacob.

“Are you sure?”  asked Dick as he glared at the scene of Elvis in the white jacket.

“He is on the pavement laying there under a cloud of smoke;”

“Oh;”  muttered Dick as he lifted his eyes to Jacob.  “Well better put water on him and send him into surgery;”  he muttered.

“What about the runner?”  asked Jacob.  “I was thinking we could use him some more;”

“The runner was a nobody;”  told Dick as he leaned back in his chair.  “I know Elvis looked like a talking bag of shit, but who we filmed was Elvis;”  he declared.  “Or who Elvis has been;”  he added.

“But the other one looked good!”  told Jacob as he began to wish he had caught the runner.  “Maybe he had been there...”  he added.

“He is gone, the suit is gone -  we will never find him;”  told Dick as he shrugged.  “Elvis is Elvis;”  he muttered.  “Take him to hospital and fix him up;”  he declared.

“What if I find the guy in the suit?”  asked Jacob as he began to feel an itch.

“You won't find him;”  muttered Dick.  “Now call an ambulance;”  he ordered.

“Okay;”  muttered Jacob as he began to withdraw from his ideas.  “But at least keep the last scene and stitch it on at the end;”  he advised before he began to step away.  “Please;”  he added.  “For old times sake;”  he said.

“I can't promise you anything but I can try to fit it in;”  told Dick as he shrugged.

“Please do;”  told Jacob before he moved to race out of the building. 

“Call Elvis!”  reminded Dick as the entrance door slammed close.  “I mean the ambulance;”  he muttered before he sighed.  

Dick looked at the last scene and glared.  He nibbled on his ideas and then he shrugged.

“A salute to Elvis;”  he offered as the title of the film.  “Or maybe Elvis's Comeback Special;”  he declared before he narrowed his eyes and hummed.  “That fits well;”  he added before he began to write some notes.  “Well Elvis if this was you, you've stolen the whole show;”  he declared as he looked to Elvis who sang in the white jacket.  “I'll use your suit as front cover, and then we will see who is saying hello to who;”  he added before he put down his pen and began to rummage around for a reel of shortened clips.

IF I CAN DREAM

“There must be lights burning brighter somewhere 
Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue 
If I can dream of a better land 
Where all my brothers walk hand in hand 
Tell me why, oh why, oh why can't my dream come true 
Oh why 

There must be peace and understanding sometime 
Strong winds of promise that will blow away 
All the doubt and fear 
If I can dream of a warmer sun 
Where hope keeps shining on everyone 
Tell me why, oh why, oh why wont that sun appear 

Were lost in a cloud 
With too much rain 
Were trapped in a world 
That's troubled with pain 
But as long as a man 
Has the strength to dream 
He can redeem his soul and fly 

Deep in my heart there's a tremblin question 
Still I am sure that the answer gonna come somehow 
Out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle, yeah 
And while I can think, while I can talk 
While I can stand, while I can walk 
While I can dream, please let my dream 
Come true, ohhhhh, right now 
Let it come true right now;
Thank-you!”