Meeting Life And Trouble

Meeting Life And Trouble
Copyright all rights reserved to Monica Pereira 2013
Smashwords Edition

I try to look to the good things in life, but all I can feel is the bad things in life.  I feel as though my heart is running cold and all I can feel is stark emptiness.  I look around and see strangers who are clad in black -  I can't run to them, in fact they make me want to scream.  I want to run away as I face the world, I want to run so far, but the world only stretches so far and in the end I stand with nothing.  

“I need to get home!”  I cry as I readjust my bag and trek forward. 


Within twenty minutes I reach home, and there I push my bag under my bed.  I don't even want to remember school or the walk home, I just want to forget about everything.  I sit at my desk and I glare at the wood -  I am glad I am at home, but I still don't feel very comfortable.  I try to tell my heartbeat to calm down, but it takes a while; there is stiffness that I can't get off my shoulders without breaking my neck, and I feel it.

“Knock, knock!”  sings my sister Kym as she opens my door.

“Hey there!”  I cry to Kym as I look at her.  “What do you want?”  I ask.

“How was your day?”  asks Kym as she sits on my bed.

“It was okay;”  I lie as I glare at her.

Yes I do want her to move, however after a while I begin to calm down as I stare at Kym who is like me but unlike me.  I try to smile as Kym gasps and giggles.

“I had a good day!”  she declares.  “Some boy asked me out!”  she says.

“Really?”  I ask.  “Who?” I say.

“Oh, just someone;”  tells Kym as she glares at me.  “A special boy;”  she adds.  “Lachlan Corma;” she declares.

I blink -  the boy is a teen who has a bad reputation.  I want to know more, however Kym shrugs and pulls a face.

“I told him I wasn't available;”  she adds before she blinks at me.

I know there is a little more inside of her mind but I grow afraid to ask.  Kym smiles and shrugs as she looks out the window -  the air is still outside and she notices.  Kym smiles, draws in a breath, and for a moment I feel her shiver as though she is afraid.  I want to blame the world -  there is something wrong!

“Are you okay?”  I ask as I glare at Kym.

“Sure;”  she mutters as she looks to me a little distanced, a little grown up.

I notice the spark and I grow afraid -  there is something under Kym's eyes and it has turned her, changed her, made her grow up.  I don't want there to be a pause or a linger, I want the whole truth.

“Is there something more to the story?”  I ask as I glare at Kym.

Kym shrugs.

“Well he didn't like it;”  she then adds before she sucks in a breath and gulps.  “In fact he told me to act my age;”  she tells before she shrugs.  

I glare at Kym for a moment more, and then I slowly inquire for more.

“But he walked away okay, right?”  I ask as I dust the flint of curiosity from my mind.

“I walked away;”  tells Kym before she smiles.

I shrug, the event seems to have been a brief one -  however Kym seems disturbed; she crosses her arms and begins to shiver, and I watch her closely.

“Isn't there a heater inside?”  asks Kym.

“It is eighteen degrees;”  I tell her.

“Still!”  gasps Kym before she stands.  “This house has draft!”  she adds before she leaves.

I sit and wonder about Kym as I glare at the closed door she has exited.  I wonder about Lachlan and how his invitation has brought Kym down to a new level of mature.  I don't dwell for long as the story seems fairly ordinary, so I pick up a book and read.


Mum, dad, brother, all return home and we have a family dinner.  Kym tells our mother Charlotte how she was asked out, and Charlotte smiles and tells her she must be growing into a special young lady.  Kym smiles, however as she looks back to her plate her smile breaks -  I find this most annoying and I kick her leg to get her attention.  Kym kicks me back and we giggle, however there is still strain, and I ache to pick at it until it disappears.


The next morning I walk with Kym to school, and on the way I urge her once again to tell me more about her and Lachlan.  Kym rolls her eyes as she glares at me.

“What more can I say?”  she gasps as she shrugs.  “He is a jerk and I told him to leave;”  she says.

“I thought you were hiding something about it;”  I say.  “You seem sad;”  I add.

“Well he threatened me as I walked away;”  tells Kym.  “He told me I was dead;”  she adds.  “I just walked away and forgot about it, it's all fine;”  she tells.

“I see;”  I mutter as I frown.  “I don't like people who say those things;”  I add.

“Well it happens, people are mean;”  mutters Kym.  “They want to hate you and they do, and if you don't walk away then there is trouble;”  

“I know;”  I add as I glare at the street before us.  “People can be stupid and ugly;”  I say.  “Be a range of off-coloured emotions;”  I add.

“They can!”  gasps Kym as she laughs.  “That's why we find someone we love and hold onto them!”  she tells.  “That's the honest way;”


I try to let Kym's words sink into my brain -  however they don't.  At lunch I find Lachlan and I growl at him.

“You had better apologise to my sister for having had threatened her!”  I bark.

Lachlan's friends hiss at me as he throws an unhappy face.  I don't know what he is thinking, but his eyes narrow as his mind stays blank -  he is the ultimate deception and there is spook in its presence.  I step away as though I have swallowed a cough lolly.

“I will;”  I hear Lachlan say -  however I don't care; I feel stupid for having had been so firm and I blame myself.


After school I walk home alone.  I feel at loss as I walk; it is as though I am the only person alive and I feel the cool wind chill me.  I wonder what it is like to be the only person alive, and I don't want to ever think about it again as it chills me.

“I want to get home and eat grilled sandwich!”  I gasp before I step forward as fast as I can.


At home I meet Kym who sits on the front porch.  Kym glares at me and flinches, however after a moment she waves. 

“I forgot the front door key;”  she sings as she stands.

“I have it;” I declare before I open the door.  

Kym and I walk into the house and together we look at the foyer.  We feel like ghosts who have wandered into the mortal realm, and we feel anything but comfortable.  


I barge through the house to the kitchen -  Kym follows me as though she is scared.  We stop in the kitchen and begin to talk as we make a meal, and together we sit on the couch to eat.

“I love grilled sandwiches!”  tells Kym as she smiles.

“I like it too!”  I say before I bite into my sandwich.

Kym rolls her eyes to me and she grins.

“Lachlan found me and told me to tell you that you are a hard, cold, mean, person;”  she says.

I look to Kym and smile.

“Really?  I just asked him to apologise for having said something mean to you;”  I declare.

“Well he did apologise;”  tells Kym as she shrugs.  “Then he asked me out;”  she adds.  “He said he wanted to walk me home and he did;”  she adds.  “Then he gave me a mobile and told me it had his number on it;”  she mutters before she pulls a mobile out from her pocket.  

“That was nice;”  I say as I glare at Kym.  “So you are dating him?” I ask.

“I don't know;” tells Kym as she rubs her fingers through her hair.  “I just let him walk me home and he gave me this phone to call him;”  she adds.  “He said he's paying for the credit, I can use it any time I want;”  she says.  “But I have to use it to only call him;”  she adds.

“That was nice of him!”  I cheer as I look at the mobile. 

“I don't know how much I want to know him, but he wants to know me;”  tells Kym as she smiles. “He wants to know me, and he gave me a mobile so I could know him;”  she mutters as she thinks.  “I don't know who he is, but he seems serious;”  she adds as quiet fills the air.

“I am glad;”  I say.  “Your first boyfriend;”  I declare.

“Yes;”  gushes Kym before she gasps.  “Who knew?” she asks before she turns her head to the television to watch it.

I feel that there is something more under Kym's mind, however I let it go.  I smile for her good luck and then I eat my sandwich, however every now and again I look to Kym and when I do I notice she holds rigidity.


I go to bed and I think about Kym -  she seems different and it disturbs me.  I don't want to interrogate her, but sometimes I notice she seems unlike herself.  I watched her speak to Charlotte about Lachlan, and Charlotte cheered as Kym stood behind her own shadow.  I wanted Kym to say more, however she didn't say anything at all she just sat on whatever was wrong until I wanted to scream for her to confess or disappear.

“I hope I haven't pushed Kym towards the wrong direction;”  I mutter before I close my eyes.


I walk with Kym to school and then I head off to class.  On the way I glance at Lachlan and when I do he pulls a face before he turns his back to me.  I am evil and corrupt, and I don't care; I felt he had been rude and I told him to say sorry, and he had -  I am the victor, I am the level to push things in the right direction; without me Kym wouldn't have gotten her apology.

“I just hope I didn't push her into accepting a date!”  I gasp inside of my mind as I head off to class.


I walk on my guilt as I walk around time.  In the afternoons I look at Kym, and sometimes she talks, other times she doesn't.  I walk in a circle where I am unsure, and I put fire on my mind every-time I look around and see a face I know.  I want to say sorry, however I don't know for what; the world seems different and I feel as though it has changed.


Two weeks later Kym knocks on my door, sits on my bed, and she smiles.  I look a her -  she looks cold, and I wave as though she may be lost.  

“Hi;”  I mutter as I glare at Kym.

“Hi;”  she says as she pushes a smile.

The smile cracks Kym's lips and she pouts as she fingers her lips with a light press.  I look at Kym and I force myself to smile.  

“How are you?”  I ask.

“Fine;”  tells Kym as she looks at me.  

Kym is lying; I can tell from the flinch under her eye-lids that she is lying.  I glare at her and expect her to say more, but she just looks at me with a covered stare.

“What do you want?”  I ask.

Kym shrugs and she glares out the window.

“I like the view;”  she mutters as she sighs.  “It is a nice view;”  she adds.

I nod and agree that the view is very nice.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?”  I ask.

Kym smiles as she turns her eyes to me.  She blinks and then she holds her chin up high.

“I dumped Lachlan;”  she tells.  

“You did?”  I ask.

“Yes, I walked away and he threatened me;”  she explains.

“I see;”  I mutter as I frown.  “Should I ask him to apologise?”  I ask.

Kym shrugs. 

“I doesn't really matter;”  she tells me before she blinks.  “I don't like him very much, and he didn't try to harm me;”  she adds.  “He just told me he would kill me one day;”  she mutters.  “I walked away;”

“I will tell him to say sorry!”  I declare as I grow a bead of hate that crawls through my spine.

“Okay;”  tells Kym as she shrugs.  “But I don't want to see him any-more;”  she adds.  “I don't;”  she sighs.

I nod.  I don't know what Kym is trying to tell me, but I push aside the confusion and tell myself to speak to Lachlan.


The next day I walk up to Lachlan at school.  He glares at me with ice-cold eyes as I stand in front of him.

“You are going to apologise to my sister!”  I declare.

The group around Lachlan hisses and he narrows his eyes.

“I will;”  he adds as he glares at me.  “I will;  he whispers.

I walk away felling as though the world has been made right, however I am wrong; the world has not been made right I have just stepped on it and told it what to do.  


At home I bite on my nails as I wait for Kym to return home from school.  She comes home an hour late, and there she smiles as she sits on the lounge.  

“How are you?”  I ask as I glare at Kym.

“Fine;”  tells Kym as she sighs.  “Lachlan asked me to marry him;”  she informs. 

“He did?”  I ask as I glare.

“I said I can't!”  gasps Kym as she smiles.  “I am too young;”  she adds before she shrugs.  

“I thought you didn't want to date him;”  I add.

“I didn't;”  tells Kym.  “But I told Lachlan I was pregnant and he asked me to marry him;”  she informs. 

“You slept with him?” I ask.

“I did something that got me pregnant!”  gasps Kym.  “I thought I was fooling around;”  she adds.

“That's stupid!”  I tell.  “What are mum and dad going to say?” I ask.

“They'll say I'm stupid!”  gasps Kym as she looks to me.  “I'll say I don't care;”  she adds.  “We were just fooling around like kids, I didn't know!”  she tells me.  “I didn't know!”  she adds.  “I'm only stupid;”  she tells.  “I didn't know!”

“Okay!”  I shout to shorten the conversation.  “So you got knocked up;”  I declare.

“I don't know;”  tells Kym as she shrugs.  “It might be gas, I haven't been tested;”  she mutters.  “I feel fat and heavy after we mucked around;” she mutters.  “It might just be bloat;”  she adds.

“Thank goodness!”  I declare as I lean back.  “I can relax;”  I say.

Kym smiles at me and then she glares. 

“I feel better!”  she adds.  “I have nothing more to say;”  she tells me before she walks into her room.


I feel good and I watch television until our parents return home.  I look at them like a kid, and Charlotte yells at Kym as she asks for a pregnancy test.  The secret inside Kym has been exposed and Charlotte can only scream and lecture until her breath becomes bruised.  I shiver and cover my ears with headphones, and then I close out the world as it turns from calm to stressed.


Later that evening Kym creeps into my room and smiles.

“I am not pregnant;” she declares.  “It was just gas;”  she adds.

“Thank goodness!”  I gasp as I turn to face Kym.  “I would have blamed myself forever!”  I add.

Kym shrugs and then she turns her head to look out the window.  I look out the window too and shiver -  the world seems dark and deadly, and it scares me; I close the curtains fast!

“The world can go back to normal now then;”  I state as I look to Kym.

“Yes;”  she smiles.  “Normal;”  she adds before she rolls her eyes.

Kym looks tired and  I am too tired to notice what her tiredness might mean. 

“Let's call it a night!”  I gasp as I place down my pen.

“Let's;”  tells Kym.  “See you tomorrow;” she cheers.

“I will;”  I add before I wave.


 Alone again I feel as though my heart is running cold; all I can feel is stark emptiness.  I look around and see black; I can't run, the shadows make me want to scream.  I stand with nothing, and I slip into bed as I call myself a ghost -  however I don't disappear, I just fall asleep.