Angie hangs around the kitchen on a boiling hot day. She thinks of her boyfriend Kale and she swears as she sees him on the arm of another person. Angie grumbles to herself as she frowns - love isn't supposed to be a wire on which a paper cardboard is hung! It's supposed to be a feeling deep inside! Angie shrugs. Maybe she is the hopeless romantic but she thinks she has been used.
She remembers the night when she lost her virginity to Kale. He invited her into his room, and in that room he told her the awful truth - no leaving until he had been given a lay. She had tried to bargain but he had told her that there was no getting around the subject - they were going to mate, and it was going to be special. Angie had fretted - she had no idea if Kale had Std's or anything; she just knew he was hot and so she had said yes to a date. After being laid by him she had been filled with disappointment... he had been lousy; and he was too infertile to be able to be bargained with a 'I have a child' con. So she had hung onto their relationship and then he had thrown it away.
"What a stupid relationship!" gasps Angie before she looks in the freezer for ice-cream.
There is none; so being disappointed once again she slams the fridge closed.
Lance enters the kitchen ready to make coffee - he looks past Angie to the coffee machine behind her, and as she pulls a face he is filled with ignorance. Angie shouts.
"Why no ice-cream!"
Lance stops and turns his vision to see Angie with tears and a red face. That is the look of upset, and he smiles as he watches her pant. He has been looking at porn for six hours and her panting makes him remember of the shows he had been watching. He can even take her serious as she presses a finger to her face to catch a dribbling tear; his mind isn't on the seriousness of drama and so he pushes her away to make coffee.
"Don't temper;" he mutters as he hears a scream. "I am not in the mood;"
Angie backs off right away and she fast steams out of the kitchen to her bedroom to sulk.
Angie draws a devil drawing, and a load of hate, onto a piece of paper before throwing it away. She feels cheated for the first time in her life, and she cannot press a clean word inside of her mind. She wishes and she hopes that she can find light, but she can't; only fury and it gnaws at her as she chews on her teeth. She tastes hard, and with grit she goes to bed with a bump on her head.
During the night Angie tosses and turns - she sees Kale with his friend and she knows she has been used. He fills her thoughts and her head, and she rakes her nails against her skin; she wishes he were clean like her but he kisses his sweetheart over and again and she screams. She wishes she had a knife to cut his heart, a pot to boil his bones... she wishes and hopes that he could be clean - no! She wakes up in the shadow of din and she knows she is an ex.
"Well make him an ex!" she tells herself as she sits up and checks out her phone.
She scans the few male friends she has, and then she dials a number. On the other end is Jacob - he says a husky hello and she asks him out. While he is still trying to figure out her words she chucks a temper.
"Just say yes and we can catch a movie;" she tells.
Jacob nods and grunts - but his words are still stuck on his tongue. It takes a second and then he tells Angie.
"Work;"
Angie shrugs unable to admit defeat.
"So we'll catch a movie after..." she mutters.
Jacob narrows his eyes.
"No; no time;" he says.
Angie shrugs.
"Then come over for a lay;" she says.
Jacob shakes his head.
"Desperate bitch!" he gasps. "Ring another bell this is taken!" he tells before he hangs up.
Angie falls apart - she puts down the phone and she rakes her nails through her hair. She feels unfulfilled! She wants filling to fill her so that she is not a loser. She wants to jump out the window!
A knock on the door breaks her attention and Angie turns her head to see Lance. He looks nice in his casual not work clothes, and she growls before she puts a pillow over her phone.
"A moment!" gasps Lance as he wiggles a finger her way. "You were rude to me!" he tells her. "Apologize!"
Angie glares at Lance - he has a beet-red face she can only take half-seriously. She shrugs and then she rolls her eyes; but her tongue remains sticky. She can't even talk, so she pulls a face as her heart-beat pulses... her mind is fixed on Kale and she sees him as she closes her eyes - he is that annoying figure floating in the centre of her mind; he smiles at her as though he is laughing and she feels her heart near ache... she becomes absorbed and she floats in a vessel scoping out Kale like he is resting on the milky way. It is dark and cold inside of her mind, and she almost feels like she is from outer-space. Bam! A slap on the face wakes Angie up and she flicks her eyes open to meet Lance.
"What do you want!" she screams off her guard once again.
"What does it matter?" asks Lance as he pulls up his sleeves.
A memory comes to Angie as she glares at Lance - he has pulled up his sleeves before; a dark Christmas morning turns from pleasure to pain as he uses his fists to wake her up to the fact that opening presents at 3am is not how family's enjoy Christmas. The beating turns into manslaughter as punch marks become bruise, and then it turns into anguish as he kicks and snaps one of her ribs. Angie ends up feeling her clothes as the starchy clothes of the hospital almost seem real.
"Now calm down, I am sure we can work something out!" gasps Angie as Lance rolls his wrist to warm up for the first hit.
"Oh?" he asks angered but alert.
Angie knows he can see her and she sighs.
"It is true;" she tells him slowly as her heart-beat rises to her brain. "I am alarmed right now... so push yourself away..."
Lance thinks as he glares at Angie - it is true she seems tense at the shoulders; but he doesn't think a slap would really hurt her.
"Away... away...." repeats Angie as though in a dream.
Lance clicks his fingers - Angie shrivels down inside of herself. Lance is filled with fury, and she doesn't want to be alive anymore.
"You apologise;" mutters Lance with his teeth clapping together.
"Yes I am sorry;" tells Angie as she gasps inside of her chest.
She knows in the right mood Lance can't stop hitting her - it's some pleasure which he can't pry his hands away from; it makes him feel good to give her skin bruises and she doesn't want to feel it again. Inside of her mind she hears herself crying and she knows he has given her more then one beating in a past life.
"Sorry;" she mutters as she blinks.
Lance nods.
"Okay..." he mutters. "But you me one..." he adds before he leaves.
Angie sighs inside of her chest and she leans back upon the wall as she is filled with relief. She has guided away a storm and she feels like she is heaven. Angie closes her eyes and sees Kale standing there. He is looking good, but she doesn't feel in the mood for him - her anger has dived with her wits and she rests feeling undone.
Lance returns and Angie opens her eyes to see him. She sees his face, his eyes, his lips... all lunge for her and soon his face is pressed against herself. She feels knotted and she tries to sit up but Lance's weight pulls her down. Angie feels like a robot gone off its cruise control which had told her to find a date and flirt; she now feels botched with her wires crossed and she spits out fume with the sparks that fly off her. Her time for being a robot has passed and she feels perplexed. She cries - it comes off as a muffled sound, and she tries her best to push Lance away; but he sticks and stays and believe it or not he grows ever more heavy; it is a hunger that pushes him further onto her and Angie screams.
Angie chews on her nails as she glares out the window - Lance went all the way with her and she doesn't know why. He is often filled with fantasies, but she had no idea he had wanted to do it with her. She feels harassed, but with her pleasure nodes going off she thinks it is okay. Then she hates and blames, and then she feels her pleasure nodes starve... then she thinks of Kale and thinks 'good' then she thinks Lance and thinks 'bad'. She knows she can't talk otherwise she will scream, so she stares out the window. She wishes she could come to some conclusion but she can't - so she waits and the afternoon passes on, and the outside doesn't grow less interesting not even with the black coat on... it still retains her interest and she stays silent. Her fingers can no longer be eaten - now she is just wasting time.
"Well I think I am over Kale;" she mutters as she puts her hand down. "I don't think I am jealous any more;" she adds before she closes the curtains.
The house seems dark and cold with the curtains closed - like a swamp at midnight; it is dewy and dirty... Angie wipes her brow... she is tired; best go to bed.
Lance Kale
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