A strange feeling wafts over me. It is more then a mere depression. There's a gulf inside which threatens to break a storm. I sigh. I have just broken up with my boyfriend Jake and I feel at a loss. It seems that I am alone again, and I don't know how to cheer up about it.
"What you want?" asks Jake in the back of my mind.
I pop the dream-bubble, before I drop to my bed. I don't want to sleep, I want to be awake, I want to eat - so I bite on my nails, and then I crook my fingers.
"I hate you;" I tell Jake in the back of my mind.
But he does not hear - he is in the kitchen cooking pancakes, pizza, and lemonade. I brush my skin, then my hair, then I rub my lips. He is just so dumb - so why am I upset?
I watch the light turn into a shadow, and the evening settles outside. I keep sulking - nothing to do, no where to go, no one to call...
"Call?" I ask a I look at my phone book.
There's no one good in there - Sally, Krystie, Anne, Tim, Roger, Fred, Alice, Peony... etc, etc, etc.... all friends of the past rubbing their wry grins on the wrinkled pages. Jake had been my most recent, and I already feel like a dunce.
I wish a little, I kick my mind, and then I pick up the phone. I dial Jakes number and he answers.
"Hello?" he asks.
"Hi;" I say with empty lips. "Wanna go out and have pizza?" I ask even when I am not hungry.
"No time;" tells Jake - a brush off for when he is watching movies.
"I can visit?" I ask.
"I've got the runs;" tells Jake - another brush off for when he is saying a range of rude words.
"Let's go out!" I suggest.
"No thanks;" tells Jake with a hiss. "I'm eating chicken;" he adds.
I sulk. Now he is being a sexist and a racist, and so I slam down the phone.
"Jake is intolerable;" I say as I continue to sulk. "The world isn't fine for me like he his;" I steam before I pick up the phone.
I dial the pizza place and order fifty dollars worth of pizza and dessert. I then hang up the phone - Jake isn't the only one who can eat over a wounded pride, I can too!
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