Aprils Weekend

April looks at the street and sees nothing but calm and quiet.  She whistles.  The sound strikes the air and shatters the still.  April smiles.

"It's the weekend and my parents are on vacation - what to do?" she ponders.

April picks up the telephone and her phone number book.  She is going to make some calls to see if any of her friends want to visit her.


April puts down the phone - she has just made her last call and her throat is dry.  It has been an hour since and she has no one coming over to her house.  The excuses are various - homework, study, washing the dog, visiting a boyfriend; no one can come over.  April sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair - what to do?

April thinks about watching television, watching a movie, doing homework - but all ends up with a mood swell that has her reaching for an ice-cream in the freezer.

"What good is a weekend alone if you can't think of anything to do?"  she asks.

April shrugs and then she rubs her shoulder.  She feels silly having had gotten excited over having the house to herself when she can't think of what to do besides mope.

"Maybe I should take a walk;"  mutters April before she picks up her jacket and leaves the house.


April walks along the path to the beach.  There she sits on sand and looks at the ocean.  The tide is very beautiful to her eyes, and she wishes she could sit there forever.  But the setting of the sun brings the chills in her spine and April knows that she should go back home.  However there is a few people gathering to make fun of the night.  April watches them, and one of the guys in the cluster of people smiles her way.  April waves.  She is being very brave indeed and when the guy approaches she had tingles in her spine.

"Hey what you doing?"  asks Joe.

"Just sitting around;"  tells April with a smile.

"Want to come and party?"  asks Joe.

April smiles and shrugs.

"Want to come to my place?  I need to go home while it's dark;"

Joe laughs and rubs his tongue against his teeth.

"Want a ride?"  he asks.

"Yes I would like that;"  tells April with a smile.



The car is quiet on the ride home.  Joe concentrates on the road and at the right time he asks directions.  He surfs through the dark in a car that has tyres like wings.  Soon April is home.


April smiles at Joe who breathes a sigh of relief.

"Want to come inside?"  she asks.

"Okay;"  Joe mutters with a shrug.

April leads Joe inside and together they chat on the couch.  The talk is long,and soon they know little things about each other which they have told everyone a dozen times.


April scratches her head and then she laughs.  The world is dead quiet and her heart feels empty -  Joe is the only thing that is warm.  April wishes she knew what reasoning has climbed inside of her mind when she strikes up the idea that she should get Joe to give her a lay.  She is still a virgin but she has been putting things inside of her and she things it should be a calm ride into adulthood.

April pants as a nervous sweat breaks out behind her ears.  She feels the tension inside of her, and she leans away from Joe as she tries to knit her thoughts together.  Joe stares at her.

"What's the matter?"  he asks.  "Did I do something wrong?"  he asks.

"No;"  mutters April as she feels a wobble inside of her heart.  "I just want to know if you want to have sex?"  she asks.

Joe almost coughs as he raises his brows.  He wishes he could say no but the lights turn on and he nods before his tongue can talk.

"Of course;"  he mutters as he looks around.  "Here?"  he asks.

April nods before she slips off her underwear.  It's a super-easy task that takes seconds.  Joe however takes off his clothes slowly, and it takes five minutes before he is ready to join April.

April smiles as he approaches her -  it is time to have some real fun.


It's two am when Joe leaves the house.  April nibbles on her fingers as she looks out the window.  She had been hurt quite a bit, but she was able to use all of her strength to keep herself together.  April can feel the blow inside of her and she knots her brows.   She doesn't even know Joe what will happen if she becomes pregnant/

"Better not do it;"  she mutters before she heads for the bathroom to get some pills.

April finds contraceptive and then she smiles as she takes it.  Already there is a cramp that says that she is destroying her body, but she does not care.  April takes a shower, then she dresses and goes back to her bedroom to lay on her bed.

April looks at the stars outside - the night is so pretty she might almost smile to the stars.  Inside of her head she cannot smile -  she is concerned over what she had done, so she sleeps with a frown on her face.


The next day comes and goes like the wind.  April watches movies, then she reads magazines to keep her mind busy.  Finally Aprils parents come home and she expects things to return to normal.  But she does not feel normal, she feels different, and so she walks on a plank that is not set perfectly straight.  She knows she had changed, and she grows quiet as she nibbles on her fingers.





"

Hungry

Emma walks through the night searching for a take-away food bar.  It has been four hours since she has eaten anything and her stomach craves for something to eat.  Emma walks down the street and towards the small town junction, and there she spies a takeaway burger bar.

"Just what I need;"  she mutters.


Emma passes a guy who smells of cheap cologne.  He stands there tossing coins inside of his hands and he stares at her hard as she passes his way.  Emma thinks of flirting but a wobble in her gut makes her turn away -  she is not in the mood for flirting she is in the mood to order food.


Emma orders chips, drink, and burger, and then waits at the bar-stool.  Emma looks out the window - the guy is still there tossing change.  Emma grows a stiff spine as she looks at him -  she is scared, there are raised hairs on her neckline.  Emma blinks and looks at her watch. Ten minutes passes before she is called to collect her order.


Emma walks outside and down the street.  She feels the wind hit her face and she moves to walk by the houses.  She feels alone - she likes that, the mood is tranquil, the world is at peace.  Emma enjoys the walk, she walks steadily without wobble in her shoes.  She smiles as she hits the end of the street - a car turning left wanders around the corner and passes her.  Emma smiles as a light flashes over her, and then she feels chilled as the light moves past her until she is left in darkness once more.


Emma is grabbed as she moves to cross the street.  She is hit, she drops her food, and she thumps hard against a brick wall.  Emma feels the world darken as a voice chills her spine.  It talks too high, too deep, too strangled... she turns her head and sees the guy who she had seen.  She almost smiles as he flinches - she wishes she didn't have a crush, but she thinks him most handsome, and she blinks her eyes twice as she waits for him to talk.

But he already has spoken, and he grabs her and takes her for a walk down the street.  The air is cold, colder still now that her warm takeaway has been left on the curb.  Emma feels annoyed -  she almost wants to scream.

She hits a tree, then a wall, then a dirt wall which serves as a crevice which is only just big enough for her and the guy who stands behind her.  Emma shivers as a pair of warm lips hit her neck.  She rolls her eyes -  she can't believe she has been caught in a fix, she would have happily given the guy a go if he had just walked her back to her apartment.  Emma feels her blood rush as her underwear is slipped down from under her skirt -  she feels cold, like the wind is caressing her and making her chilled.  It's a hard sensation to put up with before a curled up horn is pressed in-between her thighs.

Emma closes her eyes as warm feelings flood her from down below.  She feels a burst of light, then a glow on her cheeks, before her lips flame -  the guy has something that puts her on fire, and for a moment she likes it.  But then a chill catches her and her blushed lips tremble.  Emma can't feel herself after a while, and she keeps her eyes closed as the guy grunts behind her ear.  Emma listens to it - an orgy that has her name on the tip of it.  She becomes entranced with the sound, it is nice, she falls asleep to it, before a wash of cold hits her face.


Emma pants as she is let go.  The guy runs and is gone before she is able to turn her head.  Emma feels cold, ice cold, her loins hurt and when she bents down they sting.  Emma sobs to herself as she stands up and walks.  Her legs are weak; it is as though there is water in them.  She wishes they were strong legs, but every step and they feel like they are going to snap and bleed out a tide of water.  Emma however keeps it together as she returns to the curb where she had been dragged from.  Emma picks up the dropped take-away package that sits there in the dim, and she crushes it to her body as she continues to walk back home.

Distressed

I think I am still pretty distressed. I feel it and sometimes I feel traumatised even when I know I have been but haven't realised it.  It makes me feel low not being able to get myself out of the poverty fix.  I feel like I am poor and know it.  Can't see any way around it. I think of starting my own business - but I can't afford a real one, and I am already doing everything I can... art, Avon, selling... it's all making me money every week, but not like the amount I want or need. But I still keep trying.

A Walk To The Beach

May looks outside - the sun is out and she sees kites in the sky.  It is a lovely day to visit the beach.  With it being so near May just has to cross the road to get there;  but first she needs to change.  With a skip in her chest she bounces around the room picking up item after item.  She then dresses and leaves.


The salt in the air can be noticed.  May sees a surfer and she smiles.  She knows that should lay down her towel, but with so many people around she doesn't feel like it.  May recalls a separate beach twenty minutes walk away, and she moves towards it with her bag on her shoulder.


The walk in long - May sweats as she clears the flies from her face.  She grows hot, so hot she becomes dizzy; but she fights her feelings and continues to walk.  It feels like a walk down a stage, but her stage is the beach-side boardwalk.  She pushes her steps forward, and before she knows it she is at the beach.


There are not kites or sunbakers - just a few birds and some grass.  May smiles and she races for a shade under a dune, and there she lays down her towel to claim her spot.  May relaxes as she lays herself down onto the towel - it is time to soak in some rays.


An hour passes, then two, then three - May is sound asleep as the sun moves to sink down over the horizon.  A soft wind blows and pushes sand onto May's face - she grimaces as she feels it sprinkle coarse sand onto her skin.  May then looks around - the night has come and all it dark.

"How long was I asleep?"  she gasps before she sits up and re-dresses.


May walks by the road to get back home.  The lights of the cars hit her skin at times, but when they are not it is dead black.  May walks with her head-down and every now and again a stranger passes - she does not smile, she just grows a chill over her spine. She wishes she had not slept for so long, but her feet make distance as she steadily walks, and soon she doesn't worry any longer.


The hum of a car resting by a look out car-park alerts May.  She looks up and sees a black car, and she smiles - there is a smell of petrol in the air and it comforts her, it calms her, it makes her feel less alone.  A figure emerges from the car as she walks behind the vehicle, and then she turns her head before whack!  Something hits her from behind.  May stumbles as she feels her mouth drop open, she rushes to touch the back of her head before she is grabbed.  She twirls around in a blur before she is stuffed into the back of the car, and then with her heart inside of her tongue the car leaves.


May looks around but her vision is blurring - one face looks like a cream pie that has melted all over her eyes.  May touches her head and she holds her fingers in front of her face - she sees hot dogs standing in a row and she swears to herself - she has been hurt.

"I need a hospital;"  she muttered to no one before she faints.

The world is a black stage.  May turns around and sees a barren audience - she screams, and then she runs face into a black abyss which doesn't seem to end.  May pants as she feels her brain beg her to stop.  She can't stop - she is running, running far away, away from that dead black stage and towards who knows where.  There are tears running down her face and she can't stop, and so she runs further and further away.


May flicks her eyes open - there is someone on top of her moving like they are having a sexual time.  May then feels it - a breakage, a hurt, a sore; she swears under her breath before she touches her face.  It feels cool but wet - the wet is kind of sticky; it is like she has been crying and she touches her eyes and feels a tear dangling on the edge of an eye-lash.  May wipes at it to make it go away, and then she clears her throat. A hand clasps her throat to give it a squeeze, and then woosh! A hot warm wave is felt inside and May shivers as her skin turns cold.

"Can I go?"  asks May.

"No!"  says a voice before she is slapped hard in the face.

May blacks out again.  She rests in a fog of mindlessness for a long time before she wakes.  She finds herself on a patch of sand by the stump of a ct down tree.  May gets up and looks around - it is dark, so dark she figures it must be past midnight.  However she hears the ocean and she turns to see a look out - she is back where she had been before she had been pushed into that car.

"Was there a car?"  asks May as she begins to walk.

Her legs almost give way -  there's a hop and she swears before she bites her tongue.  May looks for her bag - it is gone, it has been taken.  Her keys heavy in her pockets is the only thing she has.  May sighs - she wishes she had her bag, she could use her mobile to call a taxi or someone.  May then walks - it's painful but she takes it easy leaning on trees,, fence, and determined will to lead the way down the street.


It takes an hour before she reaches her apartment, and when inside she collapses on the fall.  She will probably throw up in the morning, but at that moment she drifts in unconscious state dreaming of black spaces while the night turns with the tick of a clock.

April On The Run

April looks to the side of the road - it is black, but she can see the trees that line the path.  She moves to run, but headlights flood her face and she steps back just in time to see a car pass.  April feels like a fool -  she has a little bit of trouble seeing, it's something in her brain even when her eyes are working.  She turns her head and checks, she sees nothing, and so she runs.  She hears a horn, she sprints, she hears a swerve, and then she reaches the pavement as a car crashes into a tree several meters ahead.  

"Close call!"  tells April before she runs away -  she disappears into the night, and then she loses the world as she darts down a dark street.


April wonders what has happened as she feels her body.  She feels wet, damp... she thinks it is blood but it is sweat running down her shivering skin.  She has been stung as she turns her head -  she doesn't know what just happened, she only knows she has to get away.

April races down a path to the end, and then she races through a park.  She feels light headed, so light headed her knees give in and she stumbles to the grass where she blanks out.  She has fainted, she knows it as she rests with her ice-cold cheek resting against frosted grass.  She has blacked out because of shock and alarm that has clasped her mind.  She rests in a state that is comfortable - but then a light shines on her and she is finally able to open her eyes.

"Good evening;"  says a cop who looks at her.

April smiles as she stares at a light that burns her eyes and makes her mind blur.  She feels silly -  she has been awake the whole time, just unable to move.  She wishes she could see the time on a clock ticking above her in hyper-vision, then she would know...

"Have you taken anything?"  asks the cop leaning over her.

April feels foolish for having had let her guard down.  She recoils and then she stands on her feet.  She doesn't know what to say, so she just tries to walk away.  The cop stops her and shakes his head and he stands in her way.

"You were sitting there for fifteen minutes;"  he tells her as she narrows her eyes.

April feels awake, alert, good.  She thinks of knitting needles, and then the hairs that raise on her skin.  They feel like needles, they feel like pins; she touches one and it stings her - like the root has a sharp end that pricks her if she touches the top.  April wishes she had an iron to make her press the hairs down.

"You're under arrest;"  tells the cops as he handcuffs her.

April blinks her eyes as she hears the click.

"What's happened?"  she asks.

The cops just laughs before he pushes her into the back of a car.  April feels weak - there's a smell inside the car that hits her and she faints.  It smells of blood, it could be her blood, but it is someone elses - dark blood,  cold blood, cop blood.


April opens her eyes -  she is in a place, she feels damp soil even though there is a ceiling over-head.  She has no idea where she is, but when she sits up she feels strange.  Someone has hit her -  she touches her face and she recoils, her face is bruised.  She has been hit!

"Bastard!"  she swears as she gets up and moves to walk.

April hits a glass wall, and she falls to the ground.  

"What the hell?"  she asks before she stands up.  "What is this?"  she asks before the light flickers off.

There are people on the other side of the glass staring at her -  it is like audience in a show and April sneers.  She feels stupid, she doesn't know what has happened, but there are people looking at her.  A creak is heard and April turns her head.  There's a doctor in a coat and he has a clipboard.  April sneers as she stares.  The soil under her feet turns firm and she hears a car-break before a thud whacks her against the glass so that it's broken fragments become stuck inside of her back.


April rolls her eyes and groans as she glares at a driver who has hit their head on their steering wheel.  She has been running, running through the night, and a car has hit her.  April looks to her right -  there is a cop car parked on the side of the road, she must have been trying to run away.  April shakes her head - she was running away, she remembers it now;  she had hit her head, turned her eyes, then she had seen a light, it was yellow, the car had slowed, and she had rushed to get out of the car and towards the street; that is when she ran up a road, and that is when she had been hit.

Dumped

A strange feeling wafts over me. It is more then a mere depression.  There's a gulf inside which threatens to break a storm.  I sigh.  I have just broken up with my boyfriend Jake and I feel at a loss.  It seems that I am alone again, and I don't know how to cheer up about it.

"What you want?"  asks Jake in the back of my mind.

I pop the dream-bubble, before I drop to my bed.  I don't want to sleep, I want to be awake, I want to eat - so I bite on my nails, and then I crook my fingers.

"I hate you;"  I tell Jake in the back of my mind.

But he does not hear - he is in the kitchen cooking pancakes, pizza, and lemonade.  I brush my skin, then my hair, then I rub my lips.  He is just so dumb - so why am I upset?


I watch the light turn into a shadow, and the evening settles outside.  I keep sulking - nothing to do, no where to go, no one to call...

"Call?"  I ask a I look at my phone book.

There's no one good in there - Sally, Krystie, Anne, Tim, Roger, Fred, Alice, Peony... etc, etc, etc....  all friends of the past rubbing their wry grins on the wrinkled pages.  Jake had been my most recent, and I already feel like a dunce.

I wish a little, I kick my mind, and then I pick up the phone.  I dial Jakes number and he answers.

"Hello?"  he asks.

"Hi;"  I say with empty lips.  "Wanna go out and have pizza?"  I ask even when I am not hungry.

"No time;"  tells Jake - a brush off for when he is watching movies.

"I can visit?"  I ask.

"I've got the runs;"  tells Jake - another brush off for when he is saying a range of rude words.

"Let's go out!"  I suggest.

"No thanks;"  tells Jake with a hiss.  "I'm eating chicken;"  he adds.

I sulk.  Now he is being a sexist and a racist, and so I slam down the phone.

"Jake is intolerable;"  I say as I continue to sulk.  "The world isn't fine for me like he his;"  I steam before I pick up the phone.

I dial the pizza place and order fifty dollars worth of pizza and dessert.  I then hang up the phone -  Jake isn't the only one who can eat over a wounded pride, I can too!

Amanda Outside

Amanda looks at the shore and wonders what life is about.  The sound of the oceans floats with the slap of the wind, and she does wonder if she should be enjoying nature or hiding from it.  Amanda grows annoyed as another slap comes, and she shrugs.

"I'd better just leave;"  she grumbles before she dusts off her feet.


On the walk home Amanda picks up the pace - she feels threatened by nature; bugs slap into her face and birds fly too close overhead.  She wishes she had an umbrella to protect herself, but she hadn't taken one.  Amanda coughs as a fly lands in her mouth, and she is fast to spit so that it flies out of her mouth.

"What is with nature?"  she asks before she hurries her pace and returns home.


At home Amanda pours herself a drink before she goes to her room to rest.  She has had an exhausting time outside, and she in able to relax.  She doesn't want to know the world outside, she just wants to rest.

Walk Home

Pearl walked down the street - the birds turned haunting as she began to wander about the strange sounds in the night.  Pearl became scared, and she felt as though she might scream as a bush began to move.  However the rustling came with the breath of the wind that had risen with a cool dew which washed over the place.  Pearl looked at the sky and she saw the moon as it battled to save its spot in the sky because clouds had begun to roam over its face.

"Rain;"  muttered Pearl as she began to grow a frown.

A pip of ice cool rain spat on her, and she rushed her steps as she began to fear a downpour.  One pellet of rain after another began to spit at her - one after the other - as the wind grew into a mighty gale.  Pearl began to shiver from the cold as her hair blew over her shoulders and up towards the sky.  She felt trapped in a storm she could not avoid, and so she raced for the nearby telephone booth and closed herself inside.

Pearl picked up the telephone and placed it against her ear - she listened to the purr of the dial, and then she heard nothing.  Rain flooded around her  -  all four sides of the telephone booth were splattered with wetness which flood down its glass.  A mighty rumble in the clouds made Pearl jump, but she sighed as she realised she was safe.

Pearl leaned on the glass behind her and she sighed -  she would not get wet at all.  She waited, she counted second, and then she listened to nothing.  She just watched as the world turned wet around her, and the evening drove on.


It was eleven pm when the rain stopped.  Pearl emerged from the telephone booth and she bit on her lip -  it was much too dark, much too late, she was scared.  However she pushed her scared away to be able to continue to walk.

So Pearl walked through the night with pride on her brow.  After a while her distress eased and she was able to relax. However on her spine there was a chill which made her aware that she was unsafe, and it tingled as she reached a bridge which she had to walk under.  The sight of a nearby police car calmed Pearl however and she happily walked towards the bridge.  It was only when walking through the dark tunnel underneath that she came to some trouble.

A police officer talked to some other guy in quiet whispers as she passed.  They looked to her and stopped their chatter, and she looked to them.  The flicker of a weak light broke out from above them all, and she was able to see them and them her, and the cop had his finger on a bag of drugs.

"Hi;"  muttered the cop in a dead tone which did nothing to calm Pearl down.

"I'm walking home;"  told Pearl before she continued on.

Pearl felt as though she had a gun at her back as she moved on to the other side of the tunnel.  She sweated a little under her armpits, and it was only when she exited that she realised she had felt scared.

Pearl broke out in a run, and she continued to run with a scream on the back of her heels.  Her heartbeat fluttered at ever disturbance - an owl, a dog, a lamp, a traffic light, a row of cars; and she did not stop panicking until she reached the gate of her house.  It was then she raced to the front door and unlocked it with tremble-stung fingers.  When inside Pearl locked the door behind her before she sobbed  -  she had seen something and it worried her.

"That was something bad;"  she muttered as she walked to the bedroom door.  "There was something more to that;"  she added before she slipped into her room and calmed down.  "I am just glad I am here;"  she muttered.  "I am glad I am at home;"

Break Up

Ashley looks around the house for a scarf - she can't find one.  She scampers all over the place, but one cannot be found.  She looks out the window where a car waits - it's her boyfriend Jack and she feels a bump inside of her chest.  She knows that he must be sitting on his temper, and so she races around once more before running out the door.

Jack looks at Ashley as she enters the car - she has a jacket on, and it feels too heavy and she just put it on.  He scowls - he hates jackets, they are big and take up room.  He grows red in the face and his eyes widen, and he feels as though he wants to snap.

"Take the coat off and throw it in the back;"  he says as he feels his mood drop.

"No way, ice cold;"  tells Ashley as she rubs her lips together.

"Now;"  tells Jack as he feels his fingers tighten the steering wheel.  "There's air conditioning - you don't need it;"

Ashley nods and she takes off the coat, and then she fling it to the back of the car.  She looks to Jack who has a flushed face - he wipes a cheek with his hand, and then he rolls his eyes.

"Swept past a little too close;"  he mutters before he guns the engine;

Ashley laughs and then she closes the door and like a rocket the car speeds off.


Jack glares at Ashley as she eats her burger - he has just told her he wants them to separate and she is sitting there like the news has not upset her.  He nibbles on his words - college, a new car, the need to grow up; but he stuffs the words inside of his throat since Ashley just does not seem to mind.  She has an appetite like a horse and she munches away as his own belly grows sour.   What is it about the silence that itches his ear?

"I wish you wouldn't be so calm;"  he mutters as he grabs a chip and bites into its cooled potato.

"Why?"  asks Ashley with a vacant stare;

"Well it's like it doesn't matter to you;"  tells Jack as he grows hard.  "We've spent a whole year together, and here you are... feeling nothing;"

Ashley smiles.

"Well we've had our time, maybe it's fine to move on;"  she tells him.

Jack knots his brows - another bump in his chest, and this time it hurts.  He wishes it hadn't hurt, but it had.  A little bump that grows into an ache.  He feels sore - like he has been punched.  Misery makes his eyes moisten and then he begins to sob.

"So you've found someone else?"  he asks.

"No, it's you who has broken up with me;"  tells Ashley before she continues to eat.  "No need to be upset - I bet you'll find all your new friends at college;"  she adds.

Jack nods.

"I knew it would happen - three of my girlfriends have broken up with their boyfriends because they are going different ways; so I am not shocked;"

"I see;"  mutters Jack as he narrows his eyes.

Suddenly he feels sparks hit his brain - school tests float up in his head and behind his back he hears gossip.  It is so clear, the world has expanded around him and many people have done what he has done - they have broken up.  Jack looks to Ashley and smiles before he leans back in his chair.

"I'm glad we've talked about this;"  he tells her.  "It has cheered me up;"


Ashley walks about into her house -  she has a belly full of burgers and ice cream, and she knows she will not be able to do anything but go to bed.  She has become pregnant with a whole takeaway store, and she wants nothing more then sleep.

Ashley ambles up the stairs to her room, and then she slips inside.  She in exhausted, and she feels so weak and she doesn't bother to undress.  She flops onto her bed and she covers herself with a blanket - she wants to sing herself to sleep, but Jack enters her mind.  She suddenly wishes he hadn't wanted to break up, they had had fun together in the past year; he even looks better now that he has filled out more.  Ashley looks to the ceiling -  she feels cold.

"Maybe I should have begged him to stay;"  she winces as she feels a soft fuzzy feeling in her gut.  "I think I let him off too easy;"  she adds as she recalls the burger she had eaten.  "I wish he had just proposed - I might have said yes;"  she adds before she closes her eyes to sleep.