Bad Feelings

I don't like feeling this way. It's like all the hate in the world is heaped on my shoulders and it's hard for me to get off the floor. Sometimes I just like to lay around feeling sorry for myself, I look at the roof and see the sky; it's so dull but I stare as though stars are twinkling - it is an escape? Wheels on the drive break my thoughts and I feel my heart beat go wild. It's like that in my dreams - there is a big black cloud chasing me and all I can do is freak out. I wish it would go away, but it doesn't - the front door opens and I want to scream as though there is a robber inside. A knock on my door and I wish it had a lock. But it doesn't, it's just a gate that can be opened at will. Last Christmas there was a drunk there - it was my uncle, he looked at me as though I were fresh bait, and I had to scream at him to make him go, and when he left his shadow turned into my dad and he yelled at me. "Be nice! Be respectful!" he lectured with drink on his own head. "Piss off!" I shouted back. Then I was thrown into the den and kicked down until I could no longer think. Rules, rules, rules; so many rules to be broken. What are they for? To stop you from screaming. I have to bite my fingers to stop it, but most of the time I am screaming and so I just get hit again. "Hello;" he says as though he has just swallowed an old womens novel. "Hi;" I mutter as I suck in my breath. Then a rush of foul words enter my mind as the screams from horror movies swell up inside my brain. I like to watch them - the horror, the screams, the drama, the scare; but then they freak me out, like the lights have just turned off and I feel like jumping. "How was your day?" he asks. I think. What can I think but another bitter remark - the day was too hot, a teacher was too harsh, I didn't get a good grade; all the worse side of the day comes to me and I am hit with four layers of truth all of which have a bitter end. "I said how was your day?" he asks as though a snake has just replaced him mind so that he can hiss at me. "It was just another day;" I mutter with a shrug. "Okay;" he nods as though he has just been slapped in the face and needs quick offence. I stand there looking at him - he looks at me so well I just want to drop my good mood and sink it into a black mood. I keep thinking he wants to look at me too long, and I makes me want to hit him hard; but the hard truth is he wants to hit me and he can't find the excuse to do it. So I tease him a little, I keep my manners, and every time I do he gnaws on his own crackers like he is starved when he is waiting, counting the seconds with bitterness on his tongue. "Can you leave me alone?" I ask. He smiles at me - a hot smile which has a twist of evil on its edges. He thinking it is charming, but it makes me want to squirm. I wish I could hammer my head because my heart feels like it dropping from bullet to the chest. "Do you want me?" I ask. He shakes his head. "No;" he mutters quick and fast while a blush rises to his face. his lips turn ice-still. It's like they have just turned into glass as an idea has hit his mind. He looks me up and down, and he shakes his head - am I disgusting? I have no idea, but he wants to throw me away. "Then go away;" I tell him as I hold my chin up high. I am scared - under my skin I am trembling; I feel as weakness in my head that sinks to my knees; am I wrong to toy with him? I remember nights when I hear him singing in the shower. I want to run inside and strangle him to make him stop, but if I did he'd be wrapping the rope around my neck and strangling me. I can't do it - so I go outside to scream; I scream inside my head while standing by the parked car in the driveway and i want to grab the car keys and speed it down a hill. "I want to kill him!" I think to myself as I stir poison into a soup. "I want him dead!" He walks up to me and grabs my neck and gives it a squeeze. I want him to stop but I stand there sobbing. He wants me dead, and all I want to do is run away. I put my fingers on his hand and he stops squeezing. I keep thinking and he keeps staring, and finally he drops his hand. "What do you want?" he asks me as he leans over to stare at my face. "Nothing..." I mutters as I look away. I look in the mirror in the distance and i see me and ask who I am? Am I even human to this monster? To answer he slaps me hard, once only. I feel a rush of blood to my head as I gasp. "You're mad!" he tells me in a voice hot and hard. "You're mad to not think that you are alone!" I feel the energy between us - it is hot and cold. There's head and both of us feel miserable, and it brings a storm of feeling that needs the wind to take away. "I'm here;" he tells me as he looks at me with narrowed eyes. "With you;" The thought of him being so near brings a shiver. I feel sick but my brave is still on top of my head. "So do you want me?" I ask as I feel my mind whisper words to break my head in. "Like hell I do!" he whispers so cold I feel scared once again. The hairs raise on my arms and I look in the mirror - in the back of my mind I see a shadow, he's stalking me as I walk in the middle of the night; I turn and ask if he wants something, he tells me to be quiet before he takes me to another shadow which blocks us both out. There's a car on the driveway - I turn my head, I can hear the rest of the family. But he does not. He grabs me and takes me to his bedroom where he throws me onto the carpet. I scream, but he grabs me so I can't scream and then he tells me words to make me quit. "You ain't nothing!" he gasps as he punches me hard in the stomach. I would scream but there's a feeling that hits me hard and I burst out crying. "Don't cry!" he mutters before kissing the tears off my face. I want to push him away, but he wants to be there more then me so he stays kissing me, tasting my tears, tasting my skin. the door opens and whoever is there can see him hovering over me. "What's going on?" they ask. "turn around, close the door!" he orders pointing hard. The door closes. The world is dark. He shivers before he kisses me again. He kisses me face, he kisses my lips, and then he kisses my neck. I push at his shoulders but he just keeps rubbing his mouth on my skin. "I don't want you!" I warn. "Me neither;" he mutters before he grabs my throat. He doesn't want me to scream; he doesn't want me to talk; he just wants me to stay quiet as he uses me like he uses a dirty magazine - for entertainment. Two seconds later someone else walks in, his mouth is moistening my shoulder and he feels like he is touching a button that makes him feel good. "Go away!" he orders not bothering to look around. "Go away! Leave us be!" he tells. I look over his shoulder and see his wife looking less like my mother and more like a stranger. She leaves, then she calls the family to the lounge room. "Why you going?" I ask as a storm of black covers the room. "I'm alive!" I gasp. "Not for long;" he tells me as he pushes his weight on top of me. he wants me. He has me. Now he will make his mark. I don't want him, but he needs to; and so I gulp as I beg my heart to stop!

Trouble At Home

Pearl draws a line down her arm - in her fingers is a razor and it cuts her arm deep. She breathes in as a film of blood seeps onto her skin - her arm is pale, the blood is red, it is beauty; Pearl sighs and then she shakily puts the razor into the sink. Even the white porcelain sink is stained with her blood. Pearl smiles, and then with a skip she walks out of the bathroom and down the hall. Reg sees her. Pearl tries to smile, but in her dazed state she fails to feel her arm and the blood that stains the carpet. Reg narrows his eyes at Pearl, and then he steps in her way to stop her. Reg looks at her arm and then at her face - her face is smiling but her arm is dribbling blood. "How was your day?" asks Reg. "My day?' asks Pearl as she lifts her eye-brows. "Yeah, was it a good day or a bad day?" asks Reg as he grows impatient. Pearl rolls her eyes up to the ceiling as she thinks. She wonders what time the sun started shining that morning, and then she feels tingles on her body. Pearl notices a throb and as she looks down at her arm her face grows white at the blood flowing from it. Pearl screams, and right away she is smacked hard in the face! She screams again! "Are you on drugs or something?" asks Reg as he squeezes her shoulders. Pearl narrows her eyes, and then she shivers as she feels cold. "Because you're whacked out!" tells Reg before her smacks her so hard she ends up stumbling onto the bloodied carpet. Pearl feels weak. She hears Reg mutter but only in the distance. Pearl closes her eyes and almost feels peace as she drifts in a world of darkness for a short while. When Pearl opens her eyes again she is in a room - there are no beds, there no furniture, just plain carpet; it is the spare room. "What happened?" asks Pearl as she looks in her arm and finds it bandaged tight. Pearl sighs. Reg must have mended her cut and left her in the room before moving on to clean the sink in the bathroom. Pearl sighs. She closes her eyes and laughs as a tear runs down her face - Reg has helped her, and when he has finished cleaning he will come to her to tell her that she must be good. Pearl waits an hour before Reg enters the room. He looks clean - like he has showered - and she smiles. "Hello;" she greets with a smile on her face. "You've helped me;" she adds. "That's the third time this month!" scolds Reg. "Your arm had almost healed!" he wars. "So?" asks Pearl as she grows a sore inside of her heart that stings like it has been pricked. "So... what's up? You think it's fun?" asks Reg as he grows a tint of tense that makes his words tremble. "Maybe;" retorts Pearl as she shrugs. "Well you do it again and I'll have to send you to a special place;" tells Reg as he grows cross. "You don't do these things and get away with it!" he adds. "You're sick!" Pearl shrugs as her mouth remains limp - she is hanging on to hear a good word, but all Reg can do is call out ugly words. Why doesn't he ask her if she wants burgers or pizza? Pearl feels her heart sink. He just wants to scold her like she is a child, and she just wants to tell him that she wants more. "I love you;" tells Pearl as she lifts her eye brows. Reg shakes his head and looks away; he doesn't feel as though he is making progress, he just feels as though she will break out again. "Stop doing it;" he adds in a quieter tone. Pearl shrugs. She can't promise - all she wants to do is take a razor to her arm so that he can race to help her; it's beauty, it's drama, it's love, the way he goes out of his way to mend her. If she didn't do it he would not look at anything but the newspaper and the news on television. She gets his full attention when she harms herself, and she falls in love when she wakes up out of her dark spot. "Promise me you will stop doing it;" tells Reg. Pearl looks at him - she finally sees that there are tears in his eyes; maybe he is tired, maybe he is worried, maybe he loves her, maybe she scared him. "Give me a hug!" she adds as though she has just woken up from a dream. Reg smiles, then he leans in close and gives her a hug. Pearl sighs. She likes it when he holds her, it reminds her of when she was young and he used to give her a hug when watching television; she enjoyed it. "That's enough;" mutters Reg as he pulls her arms down from his shoulders. "Is it?" asks Pearl as she raises her brows. "Maybe I want more of it, more of you;" Reg shakes his head. "That's all the love I can give you right now;" he mutters before he moves away. "Then you don't love me!" snaps Pearl as she crosses her arms. Reg looks at Pearl and then he rolls his eyes - she is already battling him, and all he wants to do is leave her alone. "Of course I do;" he mutters as he grows red in the face from the strain of trying to guess what Pearl actually wants. "Then hug me again!" tells Pearl as she opens her arms. Reg stands still for a moment with his head turned to her and his feet half-way turned towards the door. He sees Pearl and he wonders why she is so set on greed. He thinks of her upbringing - a bottle calmed her from any bout of emotion, even if it was fed to her every hour. Maybe she was just crying out in greed, maybe he had been too soft, maybe he should have left her to starve! Reg looks at Pearl whose fingers shake as she holds her arms out waiting for him to come to her - she wants to be fed her bottle, and if he refuses she might cut herself again. "Why not?" asks Reg as he raises his brows and heads back for another hug. Reg kneels down and he holds Pearl again. She hugs him back as her head rests on his shoulder - she is comfortable, and his heart murmur tells him that he is uncomfortable. Reg wants to cry out somewhere inside of his mind that he dislikes returning to Pearl, she is abusing him. Reg feels his spine tingle as Pearl holds onto him - she has him, he has given in and she is using him to keep her warm. Reg narrows his eyes as he tries to pull away, but her hold is firm and she just keeps him close. Reg gulps - Pearl is at war with him even when she is just hugging him, and he feels as though he is being used. "We can't keep hugging like this;" he mutters in Pearls ear. "You have to let go;" But an hour later and Pearl is still holding Reg as his sweat-stained shirt sticks to his body. "Come on, this hug has turned into a joke!" he gasps. May walks into the room and she smiles at Pearl and Reg. May claps her hands. "Dinner!" she calls. Reg tries to move away, but Pearl keeps him close. Reg looks to May as a husbund who needs help. "She wants to hug;" he mutters. May nods. "Well I'll keep dinner in the oven;" she mutters before she leaves. Reg rolls his eyes and then he keeps holding Pearl as time drifts on. Pearl lasts one hour more before she falls asleep, it is then Reg is able to let her go. Reg rubs his neck as he enters the kitchen. It is late, May is in bed, and he has just put Pearl into bed. He feels sour as he opens the oven and finds cold roast. With complaints in the back of his mind he serves himself a cold meal before he moves on to watch television. His mind is busy with thoughts on what to do about Pearl. He knows she is crying for attention, but he can't put up with her mood swings any more - he needs to get her help. He knows he will have to consult a doctor to see what they can advise. He can't spend hours with Pearl again, she has pushed him to the limit, she needs help. Reg phones up four doctors and all advise he see a family councillor or a psychologist. Reg rubs his neck. He feels tense. He wants to help Pearl, but all the fuss makes him want to push his fears back into the dark; so he stuffs the phone numbers he has written down in the back of his drawer as he tells himself to ignore Pearl. But at home Reg finds Pearl drunk and stumbling all over the place. She has broken three dishes as she has drunk his expensive liquor. Reg follows Pearl like a hunter eyeing down prey, and then he catches her as she walks into a corner and has trouble getting out of it. "You are trouble;" he mutters as he looks at her eyes. Pearl has swallowed his medication - he can see by the redness in her eyes that she has. He has seen that look before, and he knows there is an orange vial without pills inside of his bathroom sink. "How about we go to your room;" he suggests. Pearl shrugs. "Why not yours?" she asks. Reg laughs and then ignoring her he takes her to her room. Inside of her bedroom Reg tensely watches Pearl walk around in a circle before she faints on the carpet. Reg sighs; he looks at her on the carpet and he thinks about his heart which is struggling to beat - he feels so stressed out he knows he could break it and have a stroke. Reg crawls over to Pearl to make sure she is okay - she is breathing steady and he is able to stop his worries from climbing. Pearl has just been taken down by whatever she has taken and he rushes to his room to find out what she has digested. Reg looks at three empty vials of medication - all extra drowsy formulas. Reg sneers, and then he pushes the empty vials in the bin. "The brat!" he mutters as he cleans up the sink until it is clear and sparking white. "I should spank her when she wakes up!" he scolds before he leaves the room. Reg looks at May as she comes home. May feels his tense energy and it creeps her out. "Have you been drinking?" she asks. "A bit;" mutters Reg. "Pearl is out of control;" he tells her. "She was drunk and popping pills when we were at work;" May loses her smile as she shrugs. "Teens like to party for attention;" she tells Reg. "It's nothing to worry about;" "She made me hug her for over an hour;" tells Reg as he raises his brows. "How do you think I feel when she turns a cold shoulder to try and harm herself just because we are not here to stare at her?" he asks. "She's just wanting attention;" shrugs May before she moves away from Reg. "Don't let it get you down; if she actually hurts herself we'll just take her to the hospital;" Reg looks away - even May is drunk and walking on clouds; he feels ashamed that she cannot see that Pearl is harming herself on purpose. Reg sighs and he leans over a table to look at a picture of the whole family - they look so happy, he can't believe all the smiles are fakes. "Whatever happened to the perfect life?" he asks as he feels a chill. "This is far from it;" he mutters. "Very far;" The next day Reg knots paperclips at work. Every hour is a rake against nails, and he cringes as he waits for the day to pass. Reg then drives home. He picks up burgers on the way home and nibbles on chips during the drive. He then parks, enters the house, and he waits for Pearl's ghost to jump out to greet him - but Pearl is being good for once as she sits in the lounge watching television; Reg sighs. "Hello;" he greets happy to have a normal moment. Pearl looks to him - she doesn't smile. "Hi;" she mutters as though unhappy to see him. "Burgers and fries?" asks Reg as he places two paper bags onto the table. Pearl brightens and she reaches for a burger and a packet of fries. Reg sits next to Pearl. He leans away to look at her, and when staring he finds himself unable to look away. Pearl has none of her attention on him, and he likes it. He doesn't feel captured, he feels at ease as he spends some time with her. Pearl ignores his company as she eats bite after bite of her meal. She spends many minutes in vacancy, until her belly becomes so full that she has to lean back in the chair with a cringe. Reg laughs and leans closer to give her a hug - however as he stretches out his arm Pearl jumps. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Just giving you a hug;" tells Reg a little startled by the question. Reg immediately wonders if he is doing anything wrong? His fingers shake as he experiences doubt; however he scolds his mind to not think, and then he wraps his arm around Pearl. Pearl looks at Reg with adhesive on her face, she glares as though he is a stranger who has just stalked her to her front door. "Don't you like hugs?" mutters Reg before he pulls her closer against his body. Pearl shudders, and then she grows rigid as he keeps her close. Reg rubs her shoulder, he strokes her hair - at each move he feels like a child molester who has just found live bait; however he knows he is anything but - he is just offering her a hug. A tightness in his chest makes Reg feel uncomfortable, and he blinks tears from his eyes. Reg feels as though he is doing something wrong, and he leans over the arm of the chair to sob. Pearl looks at Reg and she rubs his shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asks. However Reg ignores her; he doesn't want to tell her of the war in his mind, so he stays silent. Pearl also stays silent as the afternoon turns into night, then the night into day. Reg wakes up from his sleep; he is alone on the couch and it is morning - time to drive to work. Reg rolls his eyes as he quickly puts on his jacket and leaves without breakfast. Reg spends a lengthy day caught up in meetings and then at days end he races out of the building to check on Pearl. At home he stalks her bedroom door and opens it, but he gasps when he finds her room empty! "Pearl!" shouts Reg as he races around the house. Reg checks every room, every spot of yard, the garage - she is not home. Reg races to his car and drives to her school. Reg runs into the building and checks out the school rooms looking for Pearl. Reg finds her. Pearl is in an empty school room waiting out her detention - she has written a load of naughty words on her paper, and the teacher has looked over her shoulder to read it. The teacher pats her arm and gives it a squeeze. "You have a way with words;" he tells her. Pearl pushes the paper away. "Can I go?" she asks as she refuses to look at him. "Not for fifteen more minutes;" the teacher mutters as he moves one searching hand to one of her breasts to give it a squeeze. Pearl cringes as she looks at the clock and sees that the second hand is missing. The teacher blows in her ear to get her back to reality, and then he puts a finger up to her lips and traces her mouth with it. "Stop it!" gasps Pearl as she sharply turns her head to him. The teacher smiles, before he traces a hand to her thighs to give her underwear a rub. "Don't you worry, you're safe with me;" he drawls. "Get your hands off my daughter!" yells Reg as he storms into the room. Pearl gasps and hurries to push the teachers hands off her. Then she looks down as Reg storms up to the teacher to give him a mighty push that makes him stumble to the wall. Reg offers the teacher one good punch before he rushes back to Pearl who cringes as the teacher licks blood off his teeth. "Come on!" urges Reg as he picks up Pearl's bag. Pearl grows scared as she looks at the teacher shaking his head. She then blinks her eyes and lets herself be dragged away by Reg whose body has been super-charged by anger Pearl sits in the car looking out the window as Reg drives - she doesn't want to talk, and every time Reg looks to her she knows he wants her to tell him if she has been hurt by the teacher. She closes her throat as she refuses to swallow. She can't talk. She needs to disappear. At home Reg keeps her glued to his body. Pearl feels as though she has been raped and he has picked her up to rescue her. Pearl looks away as Reg stares at her - he wants to know more about her, but she doesn't want to tell him. "I've never slept with him;" she confesses. "That was the first time;" she adds. "Okay;" mutters Reg as he winces. Reg doesn't want to tell her to walk away from the school - he had paid the full tuition fees at the beginning of the year, and he does not want to pay any more. "You tell me if it happens again and then we can talk about moving you to another school;" he mutters. Reg crosses his fingers that the day won't happen, and he puts a note on his brain to call the school and ensure that the teacher is threatened to stop hitting on his daughter - that might keep her and his bank account safe. Reg sighs. "Let's have dinner;" he mutters as he feels exhaustion fill his mind. "Okay;" tells Pearl before she leaves with him to check out the pizza in the freezer. That night Pearl and Reg fall asleep watching television. When Reg wakes it is with Pearls feet over his lap. He moves away from her and then he walks out of the house. He feels tingles on his spine, and he knows that he won't stop being stressed out until he knows Pearl is safe. Later that day Reg returns home and Pearl is doing homework. He picks up a beer and drinks it slowly as he tells himself to relax. He has had a long week, and he has been stressed to the limit; finally the house feels calm, and he is able to relax and enjoy his afternoon as though he lives in a normal trouble-free home. Reg feels happy - this is how life should be.

Greta Feels Bad

Greta looks at herself. She feels pale and thin, like she will never be okay. She brushes her hair and some hair falls out - it's not abnormal, but she thinks she would rather not have it fall out. She's missing a part of herself which had seemed strong before she had brushed her hair, and looking at her brush and all its tangled captures she feels like she's let herself down. Greta shakily puts the brush down and she wipes her eyes. She feels lost, lost like a ghost caught flying in space, and she doesn't know what she can do to make things better. She clears her throat, and then she looks away from the mirror that seems like a spy. She doesn't want it to see her, and she can't say 'excuse me don't stare' because it always stares. She wants to break it, but she is sane enough to know that breaking it would just mean a bad time with her parents. So she swallows her pride, and she steps out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where all she needs to do is pick up her bag to leave. Greta does not feel like going to school, she wants to stay; but her mother Sue is home all day and so she picks up the bag and leaves. "Don't say goodbye!" calls Greta before she walks out the front door. "I'll just die on my own;" she mutters before she walks out where the sun shines like a heater set on high. Greta walks to school. It takes fifteen minutes for her to walk, and the walk is joined by other school goers of the area. Greta feels hot, she feels cold, and then she worries. There is a sign of worry set behind her sad eyes and she can't help but sob. She feels lost, she feels alone, and she feels sad; she can't get the small feeling set outside of herself, and so she nibbles on them making herself every more sad as she scrapes her feet over the cement side-walk. At school Greta moves through the isle of students and she heads towards her locker. The locker is locked and she fumbles with her keys until she drops them. Agitated Greta grits her teeth and she bends to pick up the keys. Then she tosses each key on a ring before she finds the correct key. Greta smiles and she opens the locker with small effort, and then she takes out her books and time table. She looks at her classes, she knows each one by memory, she just checks to see she knows her memory; she does. So Greta fast closes her locker and she stuffs her keys in her bag. Then she turns around and she sees Lachlan, a student in her year. "What?" she asks as she narrows her eyes. "Nothing just waiting for my locker;" he mutters as he tosses a key inside of his fingers. Greta stops feeling so insulted and she steps to the side - just so happens his locker is underneath hers, and so she rolls her eyes and walks away as fast as her temper can crawl into her gut. At class Greta fumbles with her pen. It's a silver pen which sparkles in the sunlight. She turns it over inside of her fingers ignoring the class and the teacher. Greta feels hours pass and all she does is stare at her pen - it's colours, it's brightness, it's patterns; she gets through the day listening to only her heartbeat, and it moves on. At the end of school however Jacob catches sight of her while she is walking in the hall. He tries to smile but she ignores him, and so he follows her with his eyes as she passes by. He sees where she goes, it is a small nook of dim where there are lockers shoved near the corner of the staircase; he runs his fingers through his hair. He couldn't be bothered chasing her, he just wishes she could see him when he is saying hello. The school vacates and Greta takes her time sorting her books to take home and her books to stash. It is a lazy effort, and by it's end she feels like she is going to lose herself. So she picks aspirin from her bag and takes one with a sip of water from her bag. She can't say she feels better, she just feels like she has done something other then leave herself alone. Greta shrugs and she packs her water, and then she turns to leave. Greta passes Jacob who is counting the seconds on his watch. He hears her shoes and he looks up, with a jump he chases after her, and when he catches up he slaps her hard on the back. "Jeese!" scoffs Greta as she narrows her eyes. "That hurt!" Jacob shrugs. "Sorry;" he mutters as he stands still. Maybe it is not the right day to talk to Greta, but he wishes he could. He's been seeing her, noticing she doesn't feel the same, and so he thinks to himself she might like to hang out with him a bit. "Hey!" he says before he catches her hand. Greta feels a yank and she rolls her eyes before she turns to Jacob with temper on her mind. "Well you look fine;" tells Jacob with a grin. "I thought you were feeling under the weather not over it;" Greta shakes her head. "What?" she asks. "You look like you need a tune up;" mutters Jacob. "Just between you and me;" he adds. Greta shakes her head. "I've got a car, I can drive you somewhere if you want to..." he mutters with a wink. "No;" mutters Greta as she rubs her arm. "I've got to go;" she adds. Jacob hears some students giggle and he waves his hand a short time before he races off. He has things to do, people to see, and he can't afford to waste any more time at school. Greta steams home on her two feet. She passes students, she passes, dogs, she passes shoppers; she walks by everyone following her own shadow, and then she gets home. Greta looks at herself in the mirror - her face is almost grey, and she trembles as she sees it. She feels dead, she looks worse, and she can't help but scream inside of her mind. Greta trembles as she covers her eyes with her hands, and then she moves away from the mirror. She can't fight it anymore, she feels bad, and feeling bad just makes her feel worse. Greta touches her neck, she can feel the pulse within it, she feels scared. She trembles down the hall scraping her back on the wall to stop the inquisition where stares look at her from all around. Greta reaches her parents bedroom and she slips inside. Everything is neat, everything is tidy; she looks and sees everything in good order, and she wishes it were a mess like her. "Stupid bastard!" she gasps as her face crumples up from sadness as tears wet her eyes. Greta looks at the things on her mothers table, they look nice and orderly, and she just knows her life is perfect. Greta looks at her father's closet - there are suits inside, two for Monday to Sunday, and two for going out. She trembles as she walks towards it with hate on her eyes. She opens the cupboard and she feels her fingers hum as she touches one of the suites. She wants revenge, she needs revenge, and she can feel herself weak enough to want to go through with it. She wants to cut up his suites from Monday to Sunday, with her very own hands. She knows she will get in trouble but she feels so cold she feels insane; she wants to destroy them like a cut in the throat, so she picks up scissors and starts to cut through the shirts and ties, and then the pants and jackets. Once the whole wardrobe is in disorderly fashion she closes the cupboard and leaves. She feels shaken, like she had just hurt herself; she feels frightened that Her father might kill her when he finds out what she had done. "I'm dying;" she mutters as she sneaks back to her room. "You did it;" she adds before she locks her bedroom door. Greta chews on her nails as she watches the day turn from light to dark. She hears her parents come home and she almost faints. She feels a buzz as she waits for the explosion. It doesn't come right away, her parents have a lot on their mind and they sail through a thorough discussion; but it comes within an hour. When her father Joe walks into his room to undress he swallows his mood as he turns the whole house tense. Joe races down to Sue. "Did you cut up my wardrobe;" he asks. Sue narrows her eyes and her smile drops. "No;" she says honestly. joe shakes his head, and then he races to Greta's room. He tries to barge into her room but it is locked, and so he thunders a knock that is hard and cold. "Greta! Open this door!" he orders. Greta shivers - Joe sounds mad, so she chews on her nail as she refuses to move to the door. There are a few more knocks, then the door shakes. Greta glares at it with her eyes open as she sobs. She doesn't know what she was wanting, she just knows she is scared. She wipes her face as Joe races down the stairs to collect the skeleton key. Then he races back and he opens her door and he barges inside the room. "What are you up to?" he asks as he pants through his chest. "Why did you cut up my suites!" "It wasn't me!" mutters Greta as she feels her fingers shake. "is everything okay?" asks Sue. "yes, go away!" tells Joe with a wave of his hand. "Okay!" gasps Sue before she closes the door. "Why did you do it?" asks Joe as he narrows his eyes. "Why did you cut up my things?" "I didn't..." lies Greta as she feels more tears dribble down her face. "Yes you did, I can see it, you're trembling;" he mutters with a scoff. "You're scared, like you've done something, like you've cut up my clothes;" he mutters as he approaches her. Greta looks at him and she feels her fingers drop from her lips. She knows she is crying, but she can't just tell him she feels bad. "What is it?" asks Joe as he gets within arms length. "I..." stammers Greta. "I'm sad!" she gasps. joe stops his steps and he stares at her. "You're sad?" he asks. "Sorry I overlooked it, those clothes cost over fifty thousand dollars;" he mutters. "I'm sick;" mutters Greta as she watches Joe touch her radio. "Sick?" he asks as he checks the cord at the back of the radio. 'you made me sick;" she mutters before she begins to walk to suck on her fingers. "That's great I make you sick, but you cost me a lot of money;" he tells her before he finds the kind of cord he wants hanging off the back of the lamp. "You would have been better off knocking off the car, at least it's insured;" he sighs before he collects his cord. "i can't... you're home then;" mutters Greta as she wipes the last tear from her eye. She feels better. Talking to Joe she feels normal, like she can't feel the cold anymore. With a sniff she looks away to pick up a tissue. She blows her nose, then she turns back to Joe who is winding the electrical cord around his hand until he has the perfect length. "what are you doing?" she asks as she feels her spine tingle. "I'm going to mess you up a bit;" he tells her. "Then we can all have dinner;" Joe spends hours with Greta. Once he starts he can't stop, and Sue can only scream on the outside of the door as Greta screams. There are tears and sobs, and then the world turns quiet. It is to the silence Joe confides his spoken word of truth; "It's finished;" he mutters. Sue strangles a wash cloth as Joe searches the kitchen for dinner. None has been made, and he scoffs at Sue. "She had to be punished!" he gasps. "For three hours?" asks Sue as she looks out the window where its dark. "she had no right to cut up my things! I have to pay for more you know!" gasps Joe before he moves to the fridge to check out the left-overs. "There's no food;" he mutters as he straightens up. "Just old vegetables;" "I was going to order;" tells Sue before she puts down the cloth. "But I don't feel like eating;" she mutters before she moves to walk past. Joe stands in front of her to stop her. "where you going/" he asks. "To check on Greta;" mutters Sue. "She was screaming so loud the neighbours came to check what was going on;" she tells. "You're not checking on her; she's best left alone and forget about dinner;" tells Joe. "I just want to see her a second;" mutters Sue. "no;" tells Joe. "She's not able to be seen;" he tells her. "Then I'll just see her!" panics Sue. "hell no! Now you go!" yells Joe as he grabs Sue's arm. "You don't go near her!" Sue swallows hard. She feels the tense in Joe and she can't help but feel scared. So she rolls her thoughts, and then she turns away from the corridor that leads to Greta's room. "Watch TV;" invites Joe. Sue feels her rage turn to weakness, and she leaves Greta's room alone. "Watch tv, I'll send Greta down when she's ready;" tells Joe before he moves to the phone to order home delivery. Greta flicks her eyes open. She feels sore, but the soreness is dull compared to the bruise on the side of her head. Joe had hit her with a bat, he had hit her just right spot for her to grow weak at the knees; then she had fainted. Greta remembers the feeling of falling down into a pool of black and white grains, she thought she was going to fall forever, and then she blacked out. Greta turns on a lamp, and then she shuffles to the mirror - she cringes; she looks like she has a black bug on the side of her head and its a big black bruise. 'bastard!" she gasps. "i can't wear that to school!" she adds. greta then stares at her shirt. She feels bad but she bothers to lift it and when she does she sees a range of cuts and bruises, she wants to throw up. "At least it's under;" she sighs, and then she hears her stomach grumble. "i could go to school, but..." A cough makes her jump. Her door is open, and Joe is standing by it looking at her. "no school for a week;" he tells her. "Oh;" she breathes before she slips to the side where it is a shade darker. Joe coughs inside of his hand and he slowly closes her door. Greta grows upset, she finally begins to cry. Greta spends a week at home. She watches TV, she reads, and then she eats. She grows bored doing nothing so it is a relief when she is ready to return to school. However at school Greta can only think of her face with its black bruise. If Joe hadn't hit he with that bat no one would know that she had been caught in an accident. But with her bruise on show everyone beings to ask questions, and so she tells them a lie - she fell off a horse. At home Greta feels helpless, and she grows more agitated as she realises she is scared of Joe. But he doesn't punish her, he just sits on his stool drinking beer quietly disliking her. She wishes she could run, but she has to sit and Joe looks at her and chews on her face. He wants her to go away, and she is scared one day he might make her leave.

Saved From The Ocean

Eric doesn't know what he wants. As he looks to the wide blue ocean he thinks that he can see his future, it is an abyss. His blue eyes get drawn to the ocean like there is some long lost discovery waiting to be found. A storm overhead breaks his attention, and he lifts his eyes to see the eye of a tornado staring at his boat like it wants to devour the whole entire ship. "Storm!" he yells to waken his drunk and stumbling men. some of his crew grow attentive and as they look up they see clouds as dark as the darkest dark. They gasp and take to the ropes to try and let the sails down as Eric grabs the steer to turn the boat around. Eric grits his teeth as he tells the boat to turn, and it does make a turn but a bump and a crash make all the men stumble. Eric falls from the steer onto a plank of wood, and he bangs his fist before he jumps up to take the steer once more. A flash of lighting and all the crew drive. The sail only half down become lit - the boat is on fire. The men scurry to the side life boats and they stumble in before lowering them down. Eric stops trying to steer the boat, and he grabs a chest of money and some maps before he attempts to jump into a life boat himself. One flash of lighting hits the boat, and he stumbled dropping the items he has been carrying. He looks at the barrels near him, they have the words gun-powder on them; he looks at the sky and a lightning bolt is sailing towards him. He gasps. The barrels are hit, the side of the ship explodes, and he is tossed from the boat into the water which is cold and dark, as dark as a grave. Eric managed to hold on to drift wood, but his grip fails and he sinks into the depths of the black water. He is doomed to drown. But on the way to his grave a mermaid offers a hand and she swims him to shore. Eric feels the sun on his face. He opes his eyes, it is morning. He shakes his head as a splash is heard. He looks around, and he finds his dog racing towards him happy to have found him. Eric laughs as he suffers the lick of a doting dog, and then he looks at Phillip, his caretaker and adviser. Phillip smiles. "Eric we thought you drowned!" he claims. "I thought I had too!" tells Eric as he stands. "but the sea must have washed me to shore;" he tells before the sound of a voice wakens his memory. He sees water, red, hair, a hand, and feels the sand as he crawls from the ocean. He lays on his back exhausted as though he had just swan the length from ocean to shore. His lungs ache, his muscles shiver, but then a voice calls to him - it is a lovely voice, a golden voice, and it tells him that he is safe. Eric smiles, and then he coughs into his hand. He can't remember what he has seen, but he thinks he may have been helped. "Let's go back to the palace and eat;" advises Phillip. "Oh yes!" cheers Eric with a laugh. But Eric can't eat. He just thinks of his dive into the ocean, trying to remember what has happened. He nibbles on food good enough to swallow, and then he gives up. He can't remember anything, he just wishes he could. Phillip looks to Eric. "Many a year and not a single lost boat, until now;" he tells. "Oh yes;" mutters Eric distracted. He can't even bother getting involved in conversation, so he gets up. "I might go take a walk;" he tells Phillip. Phillip nods. Then he watches as Eric leaves. Eric wanders around the market place. He looks at store after store. His mind is alert and he stares at people like they could offer him something, but many stares he doesn't want to offer anything, so he smiles and moves on by. Eric grows distressed. He is only weeks away from turning the ripe age to take kingship and he cannot find a bride. The bump on his head has not made him forget that he should find someone to marry. Eric bites on his finger, and then he moves on. He is offered cheese, wine, and bread, all of which he takes a morsel and after nodding he walks on a little further. After a pitcher of beer he finds a flower girl with basket in hand. He looks at her flowers, and then he looks at her. He thinks he sees a flower inside of her stare and so he asks her name. "Trudy;" she mutters with a grin. Her teeth are crooked, and Eric feels his interest slide away like a snail slides away from a road. He knew it could be too good to be true, and so he turns away. He walks a distance and then he looks back to the girl with the flowers. He stares at her a short time, and he wishes he had a flower to pick so that he could count its petal to see if his day might bring him luck. "Trudy;" he mutters as he smiles to himself. Then he picks up his shoes and walks away. "Maybe for dinner but not a dance;" he mutters before he walks on to inspect the boats which take a eager ferry-man down a river to where the trees fall to make a kind of temple over the water. He thinks of going on a boat, but his mind is not that interested. "Maybe some other time;" he mutters before he moves on. Back in his palace Eric stares out at the ocean. It has only been a day since his ordeal and he can't stop thinking about it. He wishes he knew, he wishes he knew his rescuer, he is sure it was a girl. Eric blushes. He could easily fall in love with someone who has rescued him from an ocean grave, and he thinks that if he sees someone like her then he might offer her a ring. However he can't recall her - all he can remember is her voice; it was made of gold. Eric closes his eyes as he tries to remember, but he can't recall much. Annoyed he bangs a fist on the window. "Who was she?" he asks. "Where could she be?" A couple of days later Eric meets a strange girl by the ocean. She can't talk, and she looks a wreck, so he offers her some shelter until he can find out more. She nods her assent, and he takes her to the palace. He leaves her with his servants to clean up, and then he takes a walk. Back at the village Eric looks at the flower girl. He stares at her with interest as he plucks one of her flowers in his fingers. She is not even selling the flowers, just giving them away like it is right to give flowers away. Eric shakes his head. He knows she should be selling them but everyone seems to enjoy taking them for free, so he scolds himself for enjoying the look of a poor person. At sundown the stalls are packed and everyone returns to their homes. Eric smiles as the village turns quiet, and then he swallows hard as he approaches the flower girl who is packing up the last of her flowers. "Hello;" he calls. "Hello;" she replies. "would you like to come to ocean - it is a warm night and fit for a stroll along the shoreline;" "No, I'd rather not;" tells Trudy before she picks up her baskets and places them on the empty stall table so that passers by can pick up the left over flowers when they wake in the morning. Eric takes her arm and he smiles at her as she turns to face him. "Then come for a walk to the ocean;" he tells her. "You can't refuse;" Trudy sighs. She would rather go back home, have some soup, and go to bed. But if she can't refuse she guesses that she can suffer a walk. So she nods. Eric laughs and then he puts an arm around her and together they being their walk. "We're walking to the ocean as well;" he adds before they wander off. At the shoreline Eric talks of his defeat in the ocean, and he tells Trudy of his faint rescue. She listens, then she laughs as he tells her about a voice he can't get out of his mind. She can't understand his fascination with his rescuer, but then he tells her that he would like to marry whoever rescued him and she finally understands he has fallen in love with whoever has saved him. "Well maybe you'll see her again;" she mutters as they stop at the edge of a jetty. "Maybe;" mutters Eric as he looks at the ocean and sees only a light tide. "The wind is still;" he mutters as though in a trance. "You were right it is a nice night for a stroll;" tells Trudy before she yawns. She could make a bed and fall asleep on the deck of the jetty if he would let her lay down. She feels so tired, all she wants to do is sleep. However Eric is not tired, he is awake, and as he stares at Trudy he sees someone he wants to get close to. She is not a princess, she will never be his wife, but her has her in his interest. Maybe it is her eyes, maybe it is her face; but there is something he enjoys. 'Let's take a swim!" he cheers before taking his shirt off. "A swim?" asks Trudy with a stammer. she cannot tell Eric she cannot swim, that would make him want to taunt her and so she shivers as she watches him undress. "You too!" he mutters as he flicks at her dress. Trudy blushes, then she turns away. "I don't wish to go for a swim;" she mutters as she feels a cold that makes her fear a dark doom just as dark as his tale of his own near death. Eric walks up to her and helps loosen her dress before helping take it off. Trudy shivers even though it is not cold. "Come on!" mutters Eric before he leads her to the stairs that take any eager person into the water. Trudy gets pulled down the stairs and as her body meets the water she cries out before a pull takes her from the stairs into the water where she sinks. Eric rolls his eyes as he realises fast that Trudy can't swim. So he dives into the water to find her. He frets when he can't. Worried he resurfaces to take some air, and then he dives deep down into the ocean until his lungs feel as though they are being punished. He finds nothing and so he fast swims back to the top of the ocean where he calls out her name. Trudy smiles as she hides behind the long that supports the deck - she managed to grab a hold of it and return to the surface for hair. She looks at Eric dive into the ocean and to the surface many times, then she shivers as he catches sight of her shadow and as he swims towards her she crawls to the other side of the log. "hiding from me!" he gasps as he joins her. Trudy shrugs. "I managed to hold onto the log and come up for air;" she mutters. "Why didn't you tell me you can't swim?" asks Eric as he calms his racing heart down. "Only a bit;" corrects Trudy as she circles the log a little more to stay a short distance away from Eric. Eric follows her and they circle the whole log before he catches her hand. 'Why are you wanting to be so far away?" he asks before he takes hold of her so that they can be closer. "I don't know you;" mutters Trudy as Eric scrapes his chin cheek against hers. "I am your Prince;" he mutters before he offers her one salt kiss. The water rises up and slaps them both in the bath. Trudy and Eric both sputter and cough, before another wave drowns them. The bottom of the jetty is flooded and neither can find a spot of space to breathe. So Eric grabs Trudy and takes her back to the stairs of the jetty, where he helps her out of the water and back to where it is safe. Trudy gasps as tears lick her eyes, she was frightened and she feels shaken. "I'm don't really like the ocean;" she mutters before she reaches for her dress. It is time to put the dress on, and so she dries herself with the outside of the dress before pushing it back on. Eric watches her and then he re-dresses himself. "Too bad about the tide coming in;" he mutters. "I would have liked to have stayed;" Trudy smiles, then she walks back to shore where she feels a lot safer. Eric joins her. Then he takes her hand and walks her back to the village so that she can go to bed. Eric spends the next morning thinking about Trudy. He eats breakfast with her on his mind, but his thoughts are broken by the strange girl who looks like a princess as she walks into the room. Eric raises his brows and then he smiles. Phillip looks to Eric and sees he is entranced. "She looks a vision;" he comments. Eric invites the girl to sit. She sits and when sitting she brushes her hair with a fork. The spell covering Eric's eyes is broken and he moves to look at a newspaper to stop the hammering in his chest. For a moment he felt real love, but in a second it was taken away. He feels pained, and then it happens - a crush makes his heart stop for a second before it returns with a blush as a temper rages through his blood as fiery as the blast that came from the barrel of gunpowder before it was smacked by a lightning bolt. Eric clears his throat - his heart has just broken and he feels as though the fierce black storm has returned. "Did you hear what I said Eric?" asks Philip. "Sorry what was it?" asks Eric. "Perhaps you would like to take this young lady for a walk around the market place;" he tells. "Oh yes;" mutters Eric as he raises his brows. "Get the carriage ready;" he orders Phillip. "Very good;" tells Phillip before he gives orders for the carriage to be prepared for a day in town. As usual the town gives Eric his share of samples - wine, bread, flowers, candy; he packs all in a basket he is given and then he returns to the horse and carriage. He takes the young woman to the lake, where he hired a row boat to take to the water. Down a stream they travel, and surrounded by trees, flowers, reeds, and silence, Eric stops. He looks to the woman - she is most attractive and he leans back to stare at her. He feels charmed, and as the birds sing he forgets the world as he gets drunk on her looks. The woman smiles, and when she drops her chin the air picks up her hair and blowing it around. It flags in the wind as the red head flags in the water as he almost drowns in the depths of the ocean. Eric shakes his head, and then he straightens up. 'Are you her? Could it be?" he asks. The woman looks at his vacantly with large blue eyes. "Were you out at sea? Did you save me?" he asks. The woman smiles - no sound comes out on her laugh and it is then Eric realises she can't speak. "I guess not;" he sighs as he rolls his eyes. "Never mind;" he mutters before he looks away. The moment is gone and for a moment Eric lets his mind slip; he thinks about Trisha and their night by the ocean, he wishes he had her again and he contemplates the night and the kiss that was drowned by the ocean. Eric feels breath on his face, he then realises it is the wind; his daydreams stop and as the leaves fall around his shoulders he swears he hears a name 'Amille'. "Amille;" he mutters as he rubs his chin. The young woman perks up and she smiles. Eric glares at her. "What?" he asks. "Amille?" The young woman nods and then she takes his hand in excited flurry. "Okay;" mutters Eric. "Nice to meet you;" he adds. The wind turns into an ice cold breeze and Eric shivers. "Time to get back to the castle;" he mutters before he turns the boat around. Eric paces the grand dining room. He is warring in his thoughts. He likes the woman named Amille a lot, she is as pretty as a princess, however she can't talk and that annoys him. SO he looks to himself as he glares. Philip has already hinted Amille has the good looks to keep, but he can't marry her; she can't talk and in the long term that will be more then dull. So he glares at his own reflection as a storm brew outside and darkens the windows. He can see himself, a prince; but what he can't see is a bride for him. He thinks of Amille, he thinks of Trudy - both are hideous brides; Amille is a mute shipwrecked person and Trudy is just a common girl - he needs a princess, and he doesn't have one; so he looks to himself. "What would you do?" he asks. Eric looks at the ocean down below, it is spraying over the rocks sign that the waves are coming in hard and fast. Eric sighs - he wishes he were at sea, the boat would be rocking in the most alarming way. Eric rolls his eyes and he sees Amille staring at him from the staircase. He smiles. She looks perfect and he bothers to wave; but he doesn't want to be with her and so he orders her to bed. "The night is going to be a storm, best go to bed;" he mutters. Amille nods and retreats upstairs with a smile on her face. Eric looks at her hair - it is red, as red as the girl who rescued him. He nods and agrees - she is possibly the girl who rescued him, but he isn't sure. "Maybe I should take a walk;" he mutters. So he pardons himself to his reflection and leaves. Eric reaches the village - everyone has closed their stalls and are locked inside. He feels a cold chill when he realises the village is lifeless when no-one is outside. Eric turns his head - up the road a long rider is struggling with a horse, he moves to it and helps calm the horse down; the rider thanks him before moving on and Eric smiles. Behind the horse a group of villagers cheer Eric. He nods gratitude and then he sees amongst them Trudy stares at the horse and watches it walk away. Her shoes and dress are filthy, as are the shoes and garments of all the people. It is obvious they got a little muddy while helping the rider and his disobedient horse. Eric approaches Trudy. "would you like to take a walk?" he asks. Trudy shakes her head and tries to move on, but Eric takes her arm. "You will take a walk with me;" he tells her. "But there's a storm!" gasps Trudy as the others leave her alone. "I am aware it will most likely pass over;" tells Eric in lie. Trudy grimaces as she hears thunder rolls in the clouds above, and then she sighs. "Oh very well then;" she mutters. "Great! the ocean looks like fun!" tells Eric before he drags her towards the beach side stretch. However the ocean is not fun - the water rising over the rocks and splashing over the beach make the beach in-accessible. Eric grimaces as he holds on to Trisha to keep him warm. "Maybe I mis-judged the weather!" he gasps. "I think you did!" tells Trisha as her hair whips over her face with a sing. "We'd better head for some shelter!" tells Eric. Trisha nods. They both walk up the rocky hill-side and up the next road. Then they walk to the palace where the gates shudder from the fierce wind. Eric looks behind - a tornado is forming in the distance, he and see its tail dipping playfully towards the ocean. Eric gasps. "Tornado!" he shouts. Trudy looks behind and she sees a twirling tail turn into a monster of a problem. She screams. Eric looks behind and he feels a chill before he unlocks the gates and lets himself inside. The wind howls through their ears, and he grabs Trudy and helps her head for the castle. It is a windy crawl, but within minutes they are stumbling through the doors of his castle and shivering as servants bolt the doors with a log. Trudy feels ice cold and she shivers - Eric touches her face and then her hands. "Best warm ourselves by the fire;" he mutters before he takes her to the reading room to rest. "Are we safe now?" asks Trudy as she sits in front of the fire. "Oh yes, safe;" tells Eric as he sits next to her. "I've never seen a tornado that big!" she gasps. "I'm usually inside when the weather turns bad;" she adds. Eric nods before he continues warming his hands. He feels silly for having had invited her to the ocean - it was a long walk, and he had dragged her there for nothing. "Look I am sorry I dragged you all the way to the ocean; I just wanted to spend time with you;" he tells. "I knew the weather was bad, the water was too rough;" he tells. "I hope you can forgive me;" he mutters. "Oh yes!" cheers Trudy as she feels tingles on her skin. "of course!" Eric nods. "I shouldn't be bothering you;" he tells her. "You're not even worthy of my attention, and here I am telling you to take a walk with me;" Trudy nods. "I agree;" she mutters. "It's just that... I like you; despite the lower class;" he mutters as he smiles. "Oh..." mutters Trudy as she raises her brows. "Look I know we can't be together.. but I enjoy you..." he mutters. Trudy nods. She doesn't know what to say. His words are a mix of romance and vacancy, and she has trouble listening to them, so she nods. "Look I am a Prince;" tells Eric. "i can tell everyone what to do;" he mutters. "It's what I do;" he adds. Trudy nods. "You look at me and I tell you to do something, you do it;" tells Eric. Trudy blushes - she wants to leave, but the tornado threatening the coast-line stops her from racing outside, so she sits and puts up with Eric's words. "So... come to my room with me I am sure we can have some fun;" he mutters quickly, so quick he needs to catch his breath at the end. Trudy leans away from Eric. "I'd rather just wait for the storm to pass, and then leave;" she mutters as she feels a skip in her chest. "Well I'd rather you come to my room and there's nothing more to be said about it;" he mutters sharply and speedily. Trudy gets up from the carpet. She quickly paces her steps, and Eric follows. He catches her arm, and then he pulls her back the way she has come. Trudy objects by pulling away back towards the door, but Eric grabs her, tossed her over his shoulder, and carries her kicking and screaming to his room where he drops her on the bad and slaps her hard. "That's what you get for being rude!" he gasps as Trudy shivers. Philip enters the room. "i couldn't help but hear a fuss!" he tells before glaring at Trudy who stares at him with big wet eyes. "Who is this young woman?" he asks. Eric rolls his eyes. "A guest!" he mutters with a scoff. "Then why not invite to dinner?" asks Philip. "I'd rather be left alone;" tells Eric. Philip shakes his head. "I'd rather you invite her to leave;" he tells Eric. The windows blow open and Eric feels the wind slap against his face. He wants to yell, but a sound catches his ears and he races to the window. Out by the sea a young woman can be seen walking, and as he glares at her he hears a voice and he knows she is singing. Eric feels his mind widen as his heart lifts a beat. "That's her;" he mutters as he glares at the figure. "That's her!" he cries out. "Get rid of everyone! That's her!" he gasps before he leaves running. The next morning Eric shows his new bride to Philip. He feels some aggression, but his mind his pure - he is in love. He commands a wedding before sun-down, and Philip does as ordered despite the protests inside his head. On the boat Eric steps to the stage where he is to be married. All his servants gather around crying as well as clapping. Eric mutters a sound, he thinks it is 'I do', and his new wife does the same before a rock hits her chest and crushes the necklace she is wearing. His bride Vanessa offers a scream before a bolt of gold light hits Amille in the chest. Amille sings - her thrown rock has done its job and she has her voice back. Eric feels the warmth in his mind grow weak and he shakes his head. He looks to Amille and he jumps as she turns into a mermaid. He looks to Vanessa and she turns into a squid. Vanessa grabs Ariel and both fall off the boat and into the water with a splash. Then they are gone. "It's best to let go;" mutters Philip, but curious Eric dives into the water as well. He tries to see through the deep abyss but all he can see is black. He can't find either one of those women who could have been brides. When a rope is lowered to guide him towards safety he takes it, and he returns to the ship. Back at the castle Eric paces to and fro. He seems victim of a cruel ocean joke, and he doesn't like it. His face is red, his mood is dark. "Those ocean witches made a fool of me!" he gasps to a mirror. "They're going to pay!" he seethes. "Someone is going to pay!" he adds before he storms out of the castle. Eric walks up to Trudy and he takes her arm. She drops her basket in a fumble, and then she follows Eric to the ocean. Eric moves her to the jetty where they had gone for a swim and he pushes her onto the boards. He is through being alone, and so he rips her skirts open and he bothers to rape her. She screams inside of his mind, but her throat he holds to stop from yelling. he has had a wicked day full of crashed romances, he doesn't need anything more to come out and pull his world apart. Eric offers a sigh as he grabs her fingers tight. He loses himself, and with it he hears a splash - he has just fallen into a deeper ocean and he feels weak. Trudy pushes away, and she crawls back and falls into the water. Trudy feels herself sink as her dress grows heavy, and she freaks out as she misses the log which she had grabbed on before to save her. She feels herself being pulled by the current, but then Eric takes her hand and he moves her back to where their romance had begun. He smiles at her as they both recover from their dive. "i wanted to be back here;" he mutters as he holds her firmly against him. "Start everything over;" he mutters before he offer her a kiss. Trudy kisses him back - she doesn't know why but she gives in an offers him a kiss. Eric takes it and they move onto a romance as the ocean stays calm and still around them. It feels good, but Eric feels damp inside of his head - he still needs a princess to marry, and he will need to find a bride himself. He shakes his head and then he continues kissing Trudy - She will have to keep warm with her for the moment, and then he can fill his dreams later on.

Sick

Pearl looks at the empty hall and she sighs. She was feeling ill for many minutes before she had fainted. She wasn't sure the reason why, she had just bombed when she hit the toilet cubical. Then she had rested in a black silence, before she had woken. Pearl runs a hand through her hair, and she stands as though she doesn't want to move; Mr Jacobs looks at her standing aloof and he narrows his eyes. "Time for home;" he calls. Pearl looks over her shoulder and she raises her brows. She wishes she could tell Mr Jacobs to get lost she isn't feeling top of form, but she holds her tongue as she stares at him. He looks at her as though he is bothered, there is a shake and a temper just waiting to break free, but he covers it with a smile. He looks relaxed and almost cool when he smiles, Pearl wants to call him okay but she can't. He is too impatient, he wants to bite his nails and he has only just noticed her; Pearl turns her head and she moves to the side where there is a water fountain. Pearl takes a sip. She feels like she takes a sip, it could be a gulp, it could be four sips, but when she recovers Mr Jacobs is standing behind her. Pearl feels weak, like she can't stand, and then she feels like she can stand, and when she moves her feet her shoes hit a dropped suitcase. "Hey, are you okay there?" asks Mr Jacobs. Pearl can feel him, she can feel his body, it is behind her back and his arm is flung around her waist. She fees at a loss, maybe she feels defeated, there is something wrong; but she can't say what it is. But she can stand, she hopes it might pass like a headache splintering her mind, if only she can breathe for a few seconds. "I can't stand around all day;" teases Mr Jacobs with a smile. Pearl touches her face, her fingers recoil, she feels ice-cold; she swears she felt warm before she touched her face. "I think I am sick;" mutters Pearl in a daze. She feels like she is floating, she feels soft and light as though wings have grown from her back and lifted her. She thinks she sees a light, she wants to reach to touch it, but then she feels a cold like her blood has just turned cold. Pearl blinks, she blinks at the light, and she realises she is staring at a ceiling. "How on earth did I get here?" she asks as she rolls her eyes. Mr Jacobs slaps her face hard, and it warms from the slap with a sting. Pearl opens her eyes. She stares at Mr Jacobs accusingly with water inside of them as she touches her cheek. Her cheek still feels cold, ice cold. "you monster!" she rages. "Don't blame me kid, you were gone;" he mutters before he grabs an eye and opens it. Pearl grows cross and she suffers a rage which gets her to her feet and walking. She walks, she runs, she reaches the doors, then a light bursts and she puts up an arm before she blacks out once more. Pearl wakes, she feels nothing, her body feels nothing, she just hears the sound of a water sprinkler. Pearl sits up, she is on a couch, and she looks around, she has no idea where she is. "A dream? A romance?" she asks out loud. Mr Jacobs laughs at her. "Teachers lounge;" he mutters. Pearl nods. "Do you want to be taken home?" he asks. "Or do you want an ambulance?" he asks. "Home;" tells Pearl before she touches her face. It finally feels warm, and she sighs out her relief. "Home;" she nods. "Please;" "Okay;" mutters Mr Jacobs before he picks up some keys to take her home.

Mental Trip

Sometimes I think I've kind of had it - my muscles won't work, I am through; but then I move, I get up, and I find that I can move on. I feel like I am going to be an invalid, but then I move and it's like if I keep moving I can go on forever. It's a mental trip that I can't move.

More Money

It seems I am finally making some money. I have been doing online modelling for a whole five days, and I have an extra 100 dollars. I am yet to be posted the check but it is a good improvement. I am finally hitting target, and it feels a bit better to have a bit more coming in - even if I don't have any job; at least I am getting something a little more. Too bad I am not more popular, but I might say that I am getting there... slowly.. getting a bigger bank which will decrease the wait for a new home. But I am rambling a bit, just a little excited at a little extra cash.