An Affair

In the early morning hours there is a creak in the boars.  Ashley looks at the door, she sees it open - her husband Greg has been drinking, and he has just come home. Ashley turns her head and her shoulders to the wall so that her face is not able to see how Greg staggers when he walks inside.  She feels repulsed, disgusted, in fear of the stranger he has become.  She knows his pulse is struggling, his sweat glands have risen, his brow has furrowed, all because he has stopped at some bar.  Ashley knows that his drink has been his lover, and she feels her skin crawl - he has had an affair and he reeks of his woman's scent.

"G'night;"  mutters Greg as he slips into bed.

Ashley wrinkles her nose.  She wants to scream, but she can't, and so she covers her lips with her fingers as she nibbles on her tears.  She wishes Greg would not drink, she wishes he were someone else.

A goodnight kiss makes Ashley's face pink.   She wants her cheek cleaned, and so she washes it with her tears and scrapes the blanket down her cheek.


A morning of tempers - Ashley cuts the vegetables fast as she shuffles her morning thoughts through her brain.  She wants to leave Greg and she doesn't know how to tell him, not even when he sits at the breakfast table and orders ham and eggs.

Ashley stops cutting vegetables and she turns to shove the pan on the gas flame.  Ashley turns sour and she leaves some egg-shell in the pan after she has split the egg and cleared it of its yolk and white.  Ashley throws salt and pepper on the egg as it cooks, and then she tosses the egg onto a plate before buttering some bread and shoving it over the top of the egg.  She knows she has been sloppy, even the butter creamed over the face of the bread looks uneven.  Ashley wants to scream that she has failed, but she picks up her wits, and after moving the bread to the side she walks to the breakfast able and places the plate in front of her husband.  

Greg wrinkles his nose.

"I said ham and eggs;"  he tells her.

"We're out of ham;"  lies Ashley as she  feels tears dribble over her cheeks. 

"That is a disaster;"  mutters Greg before picking ten dollars out of his pocket and placing it into Ashley's apron pocket.  "Pick me up a kilo of sliced ham thanks;"  he tells her with a smile.

Ashley knows he can't even see her tears, and so she nods and her stomach pants.  She suddenly wants a child, but Greg has taken drugs to keep him sterile; she can't even beg for one.

With depression on her shoulders Ashley turns away and returns to the kitchen where she picks up the task of cutting vegetables.  She doesn't know what she is going to do with them, she just wants to cut them; the task is addictive - like popping gum, or chewing on fingernails; she likes to do it and it can occupy her time for hours.


Lunch time and Ashley packs her purse and heads out the door.  The wind slaps her in the face and she feels her curls float over her head - Ashley swears before moving to the car and slipping inside.  Safe Ashley turns on the car and drives out of the drive-way; she is going to the store.


"Ham, ham, ham;"  mutters Ashley as she glares at the isle of ham slices. 

There are slices for two dollars, slices for six dollars, slices for eleven dollars; Ashley can't decide. However when weighing the price against the money she has been given she decides to buy the six dollar packet.

"Not too cheap or dear;"  she mutters before slipping it into her basket.

She has just enough to buy some milk, and she slips two bottles into the basket on the way to the checkout.

Standing in a line Ashley catches the eye of Hank - her husband's accountant.  She met him only briefly outside of his office, but he remembers her.

"How's the morning?"  he asks.

"It's afternoon;"  tells Ashley.  "And fine;"  she smiles.

"It's my day off;"  tells Hank as he smiles.  "I thought the day would be dull, but now that I have met you I might find it not too bad at all;"  he mutters.

"Oh!"  gasps Ashley with a blush.  "I wish you would have just left it at hello;"  she smiles before she moves to where the checkout operator waits to serve her.

Ashley has her things scanned, all the while wondering why Hank would be so nice to her.  She is not even wearing make-up, how can he pick her up like she is in a cocktail dress?  Ashley feels undone -  she doesn't know what Hank has in his mind, but she wishes he wouldn't stare at her while her back is turned -  his eyes give her the creeps, and with bugs on her skin she pays for her groceries before moving on.


Walking towards the car Ashley feels a breath on her shoulders.  She thinks it is fantasy -  but then she turns her head and Hank is there.  Ashley looks at him as they move down the escalator to the downstairs car-park.  The car-park is empty, and Ashley feels bashful as Hank catches her arm.

"I've been looking at you for minutes and it has made me feel so good;"  he tells her.

"Let go of my arm;"  tells Ashley as she grows weak and scared.  "I'm not feeling well;"  she adds.

Hanks hold squeezes tighter and he shakes his head.

"I've been wanting to smell you ever since I saw you;"  he mutters as he takes her shopping back of her fingers and drops it on the floor.

Ashley wrinkles her nose.

"Please let me go;"  she mutters.  "I have never been with anyone but my husband, I don't want to start..."  she mutters but her voice turns dry and Hank smells the perfume on her neck.

Ashley wishes she hadn't put on any perfume, but she had needed the pick me up;

"I think you are the most amazing woman;"  mutters Hank with a voice so smooth it makes Ashley blush red.

Ashley buries her thoughts in the back of her mind, and when Hank brushes his lips on her neck she grows limp as she tells herself to fall for him, even if it just for a few minutes.


Ashley nibbles on her fingers as she hunches in a corner of the house.  She has returned home, but she has kisses all over her face.  Ashley can feel them on her skin even though she has washes her face clean.  Ashley scowls.

"I wish I could turn back time, I might not have gone to the store;"  she mutters as she fidgets with her fingers.

She is a mess -  Hank had over-whelmed her with his touches and kisses, and she has turned into a wreck.  Her hair looks damp and wet - it must be her glands over-working as her body charges with stress.

"Hi Greg;"  she smiles as she continues to stare into the nearby mirror.  "How was your day?"  she fumbles before she turns sour.  "Mine was different;"  she mutters as she feels her insides curl.  "I was shopping and I met Hank, and he escorted me back to..."  Ashley can't finish the sentence - it is too clean for a subject so dirty.  "He kissed me;"  she mutters to herself as she feels her eyes moisten.  "He touched me..."  she adds.  "It was intimate;"  she sputters.  "It was..."  a drawl and Ashley can say no more.

Who cares if it was good or bad, if she liked it or not, if she felt calm or scared.  She had been caught in a net and now she feels choked -  she can't even breathe, and all the cold air is hovering over her shoulders.

"I can't continue on with the lie;"  she mutters.  "And I can't tell you the truth because I will feel sore from speaking about it; so I tell you that I love you Greg, and that I want us to be together;"  she adds.  "Stay together;"  she corrects, before her mind empties its bucket so that she can feel her tears no more.  "To Hell with you - why don't you care?" she asks, before she turns away.

A ray of light strikes Ashley in the eye and she flinches before moving away from it.  She feels hurt, like even the sun has aimed to harm her, and so she crawls to the shade where she sits listening to the clock as it counts the seconds.


Greg returns home and he finds Ashley asleep on the bed.  He smiles and heads for the car -  he has plenty of time to drink, and he plans to empty his wallet as Ashley sleeps.


Ashley wakes -  it is dark, it is night; she feels her mind grow scared, and then she jumps.  The bedroom door creaks open and Greg staggers through -  he stinks of drink, he has made love to it, and it has raped him.  Ashley wrinkles her nose and she turns away.  She feels upset that Greg has returned drunk, and she turns cold as he kisses her cheek.  She wants to grow mad, she wants him to leave; but he lays on her bed and goes to sleep.  Ashley wants to leave, but she stays; she no longer feels like the person who has had an affair, and so she grows calm.  With Greg drunk she no longer feel guilt, and she is able to rest until her mind sends her dreams.