Looking For Love

Emerald looks around the house - it is quiet, dead quiet.  She wishes she were not scared, but her bones tremble.  She had been slapped in the face just yesterday for returning home from her date late.  She wished she had not been hit -  it means she has been put under abuse when hot words were needed, and it makes her feel bad.  Emerald recalls her friends words 'first slaps, then fists, then rape - it's the classic abuse that violent people push onto their kids;'  Emerald shivers as she thinks about it, and she wishes she had asked her boyfriend to sleep with her, but she calms herself down and she settles on the picture of a happy marriage she wishes to reach by the time she is nineteen.


"It's all about being happy;"  she mutters before she races to her bedroom.


Inside Emerald takes out her box where she keeps love letters, and she peers at the oaths her past boyfriends have made to her.  She smiles -  she feels silly thinking all those words were true, but somewhere inside of her mind she wishes they were true; then she would be on easy street instead of facing dark deception at the end of every year.

Emerald sighs and she puts the box back under her bed, and she dreams over the things her present relationship might move on to.  Marriage?  Not likely!  A fun time? only if he is in the mood!  Eye candy?  Yes, of course!  But what else might it bring?  A holiday on the coast?  No!  Fame at school?  No!  a date to the prom?  Not likely;

"This relationship is as empty as a empty cup - there is nothing to it!"  she wars before she dares to pick up the telephone.

Emerald calls her boyfriend Pete and she clears her throat.  It is time to ask a question to see how he reacts.

"Hey Pete how are you?"  she sings as she plays with her hair.

"Good thanks;"  tells Pete as he rubs his face.  "What do you want?"

"I want to ask a question;"  tells Emerald as she gasps inside of her chest.

"What questions do you wish to ask?"  asks Pete.

"I want to know if you will marry me?"  asks Emerald with push.

Pete makes a sound that is similar to strangulation of breath, then he clears his throat.

"Marriage is a big thing..."  he mutters as he sits up.  "Rush is nothing you ever want when it comes to marriage..."  is the next sentence he manages to stumble over.

"So you don't want to marry me?"  asks Emerald with a knit of brows.

"No... not right now... but maybe some day..."  he adds with some enthuse;

"That's a shame..."  sighs Emerald with a nod.  "Thanks, that's all I had to ask;"  she smears before she hangs up the phone.

Emerald looks at her room with big eyes, she wishes she did not feel so disappointed -  but she does.  There is a big hole inside of her head which hits her heart, and she knows her world is empty.

"This blows!"  she gasps before she throws the phone onto the bed.  "I will have to find a new boyfriend!"  she adds before she leaves the house.